BELLA AND JACOB

CHAPTER 10

BELLA P.O.V

"Oh get your shit together." I said as me and Jake were about to go out. He was flipping out about something. I wasn't really listening. We were just going to shopping and out to eat.

"What?" He asked as he looked at me.

"What are you freaking out about?" I asked. I fixed my hair in the mirror in the hall that led to the front door.

"I don't even know." He said before he laughed. I smiled at him in the mirror.

"Let's go cranky." Jake had been waking up really early to make breakfast for the last three days. He held my hand and opened the front door for me as well as the car door.

"Where to?" He asked. I wasn't really sure where we were going.

"No idea." I laughed. I held his hand as he pulled out of the driveway. "I want to go shopping." He plugged something into the GPS.

"You're mom gave me some addresses incase we wanted to out or something." He filled me in. My mother was always worrying about us. Does she remember that we are married? Almost had a child? I think she forgets that I always acted older than I actually was.

"She worries about us too much." I commented.

"She just loves us." He said. I knew he was right. My mother acted that way because she didn't want see either of us hurt and when it came down to the baby she knew we were in pain about that and she didn't want to us or even herself to go through something like that.

"She needs to relax. I'm a big girl." He snorted at me. Something Jake always did. I looked over at him. I always wondered what he was thinking. We both usually kept things to ourselves. Although we told each other everything we didn't tell each other our true feelings. We had some trouble doing that.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked. I thought of Hazel Grace asking Gus that in The Fault in Our Stars. I smiled.

"I just love you." I said. I would never compare my life to Hazel's or Augustus'. I could feel for Hazel though. I had lost one of the most special people in my entire life. She did too. Your first love is something you can't forget. I was lucky enough to get mine. We went through some hard times, everyone did. I would never wish what happened to Hazel on anyone. I would never wish what happened to me and Jake on anyone. It was something you didn't talk about with others.

"Well, I'm still in love with you like the first day we met." He said. I don't know about guys but for me that was one of the greatest things a husband could ever say to their wife. I couldn't be more in love with this man. I smiled at him.

"I'm ready." I said. He looked at me confused. "To try." His eyes light up.

"Are you serious?" He asked. I nodded. Although it wasn't real I felt the need to make Hazel happy and have the child that she and Gus would never be able to have. I plan on naming it after him or her. It was my respect to the author and to them.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't want it." He squeezed my hand a little harder.

"Thank you." He said.

"You don't have to thank me." I said.

"But I want to." He rubbed his hand on my thigh. "I know this has been hard on you and I'm sorry I didn't help you with it. I wish I had been there when it happened. No one should ever have to go through that alone. I wasn't there." He said. I was getting choked up. I hadn't realized how hard it was on me until I started to break down.

"There was some place better, Jake." I whispered.

"But this world is pretty extraordinary." He said. I wiped my eyes from the tears. " They would have loved this world. I would have loved them just as much as I love you. I was so prepared. I could feel myself changing. I wanted that so badly." I knew exactly what he wanted because I wanted the same thing. "I wanted someone else to need me for the rest of their life. Everyone else will come and go but that baby, that baby will stay for the rest of its life. No matter how old he or she is they will come to us when they have an issue. Becoming a parent means you have to kill the bugs, I'm ready for that." He looked at me with a serious look on his face. I smiled at him.

"Well, I'm ready to be a parent but I'm not ready to kill the bugs." I laughed. He laughed along with me. That was the one thing I wasn't prepared for. I always lived with someone. For most of my life I lived with my mother. Than I was shipped to live with my father. I never lived on my own. Once me and Jake got married the Cullen's built us a house and they let us live here. I of course didn't want to take it but Jake did and they said it was our present from them. Its huge to me. I was always used to living in a small house.

"I'll kill the bugs." He said as he pulled into a little parking lot. There were tons of shops and such all along a boardwalk. He helped me out of the car due to the fact that I was still sore. He grabbed my hand as we walked. There were so many cute shops and we mostly window shopped, we never went inside.

"Can we go in there?" I asked pointing to the candy shop.

"Sure." We walked the few more feet where Jake opened the door for me. I stepped inside and the smell of chocolate filled my nose. I turned to look at Jake. He nodded his head as I walked further into the store and looked around. I felt his arms wrap around me. I knew they were his because the were extremely hot. "What are you going to get?" He asked me as he looked over my shoulder.

"I haven't decided." I said as I walked further to see what else they had. There was another women in there who looked to be about sixty-five. Someone was helping her who looked around my age.

"Do you guys need any help?" She asked as she came over.

"No. We're just looking. Thank you." I smiled at her as I turned back around. I felt Jake grab my hand as he picked a few things off the shelf and smelled them.

"These smell amazing." He said as he placed them up to my face. I smelled them just like he had done.

"Yeah they do." I said. He held them. They would probably melt in his hands. We would have to put them in the fridge when we got home. I'm not sure how long we were in there but long enough that I was getting hungry. "We are getting those right?" I asked Jake. We were now the only ones left in the store.

"Yeah. Are you ready?" He asked.

"Yeah." He placed them on the counter. The lady rang them up and Jake paid for them. "I'm starving." I announced to him as he held my hand as we walked out of the store.

"There is a pizza place down the street. Your mom said it was really good." He said.

"All right." We walked hand in hand down the street. We walked up a few steps before Jake opened the door.

"How many?" A girl with blue hair asked.

"Two." Jake answered. I watched as she watched his every move. He squeezed my hand a little tighter knowing I was getting upset. "Don't worry about her." He whispered to me as she looked behind her again for the third time. I wasn't going to allow some slut to take my man.

"Can I start you off with some drinks?" She asked.

"I'll have a root beer." I said first.

"I'll have the same." Jake answered. He knew when we were out in public I never allowed him to drink. She came back over and we ordered pepperoni and black olive pizza. He held my hand as he looked at me.

"We never even came up with names." He said. I was going to bring up Hazel and Gus but he would mad.

"I've thought of some names but you'd be mad." I laughed. He looked at me.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Hazel and Augustus." I said. He didn't say no. He sat and thought about it.

"You want to give them the baby they never had." He said. I nodded my head. "I'll think about it." He said as the pizza came. We ate in silence. We both ate the entire thing alone. Usually Jake would finish it off, but today, I was able to help him.