Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait but life's been insane! However, I finally got a little bit of time to edit this so here your update! Enjoy!
And a big thank you to my beta prone2dementia. Her editing skills are awesome.
Also this is based off an episode of Psych, Christmas Joy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider or Psych.
Tom Harris was the kind of kid who could latch onto some sort of idea and never let go—no matter how stupid it seemed. He was someone who saw things for more than they were worth, and when he got the notion to do something he would do it, no matter what anybody said.
If this quality had been put to a decent use—if Tom chose to focus his energies on being a better student or football player—it might not have mattered as much. But that wasn't how his mind worked, and Eagle was one of those unlucky enough to find this out the hard way.
It had been a normal, albeit long, trip to Jack's childhood neighborhood in New York City, and both Tom and Alex had behaved themselves in the sense that there were no international incidents and nobody was arrested by Air Marshalls. It wasn't until much later that Tom's insanity started to shine through and, even then, Eagle was positive that he was the only one who saw it for what it was.
The reunion was set for just a week before Christmas and all the festivities and 'magic' in the air seemed to fuel Tom's battiness. He should have known that being around the two boys could only lead to trouble and a crazy adventure that he would, under no circumstance, tell anyone about.
-
-
"We have to help Santa!" Tom shouted as he burst through the door of their large hotel room.
Andy looked up from the television show he was watching in surprise. Despite the completely strange statement, he was more focused on the amount of distress in the kid's voice.
"What?" was all he could manage.
Jack was out with her aunt, mother, and sister for a day of girl bonding. Andy was supposed to keep an eye on the boys, though he really didn't think they needed it and hadn't bothered to ask where they were going when they left. He was kind of regretting that now.
"We have to help Santa!" Tom repeated, though it came out much more calmly.
"What are you talking about?" Andy asked, wondering if it was really worth knowing—one honestly could never tell with this kid.
"Santa got thrown in jail, but he doesn't deserve it! We've gotta help!"
"Where's Alex?" was the only answer he got.
Tom's shoulders slumped a little and he huffed.
"Are you even listening to me?" he asked.
"Yes, you want to break Father Christmas out of jail," Andy replied.
"That was not what I said."
"Where is Alex?"
"Who knows?" The boy crossed his arms, clearly annoyed at being thwarted in whatever drama he was trying to stir up.
Andy might not have known him as well as Jack and Alex, but he knew the kid well enough to have a semblance of what he was up to. He sighed and started putting on his shoes and leather coat. He grabbed his wallet and the keys to the rental car, just in case he needed to drive somewhere (like the airport, so he could go home).
"C'mon," he said, grabbing the collar of Tom's still cold coat and dragging him back out into the hallway. "Take me to wherever you were."
The soldier followed the boy out of the hotel and to the park across the street. In the square of the park was a temporary building for 'Santa's Village' and Tom led him directly into it. He saw Alex standing by the peanut vendor, eating a bag of brown sugar, roasted peanuts like he was part elephant. Andy split off from Tom and approached him.
"Alex," he snapped, and the blond boy looked at him with an innocent and confused expression. "What the hell is going on?"
"What? Tom didn't tell you?" he asked around his mouthful of nut.
"Yes, he did, sort of. Explain it better."
"Santa got in a fight and got arrested. Tom thinks he was framed," Alex replied.
"He was!" Tom piped up indignantly, whilst staring somewhat unnaturally at the plastic reindeer attached to the plastic sled some four yards away.
Confused as to what he was attempting, Andy asked, "What are you doing?"
"He's in a stare down with the reindeer," Alex replied dully as if that was completely normal. It probably was.
"I don't think you're gonna win that staredown, buddy," Andy said, amused. "So, you think this Santa guy doesn't deserve to be arrested?"
It wasn't until the question was out of his mouth that he realized he'd said the wrong thing. He would also realize later that he'd completely missed his opportunity to clamp down on the insanity that would ensue by reminding Tom of whatever it was he had planned.
"Yes! Now we have to go to the police station," Tom said, taking one of Andy's wrists. Alex took the other and, together, they tried to drag him back across the street and to the hotel's garage.
"Hurry it up Eagle! We're wasting time!"
They managed to get him all the way to the entrance of the village before he managed to stop them.
"Whoa! Boys! We are not getting involved in any way, shape, or form!" he practically shouted, attracting a little too much attention. He dropped his voice. "It isn't our place to get involved."
"But Santa!" Tom protested.
"Is just some guy in a suit!" Andy replied. He couldn't believe he was actually having this conversation with two fifteen year old boys, one of whom was an international superspy. "And you have no idea if he really is innocent of whatever you think you saw."
"But we really did see the fight," Alex replied. "The guy didn't start it."
"Maybe not," Andy conceded. "But you don't have any idea what it might have been about. Now get back to the hotel and drop it." He clamped down on one shoulder of each boy and forcibly pushed them across the street, into the lobby of the hotel, and upstairs. "And stop wandering off. Jack'll kill me if you guys disappear."
Once they were back, Andy returned to watching television and the two boys went into their room. Andy lost track of the time and, soon enough, Jack was back.
"Hey," she said as she dropped her bags by the door. "How was your day?"
"Fine," he said, deciding not to tell her about the momentary 'Save Santa' crusade. "You?"
"Oh, same as ever," she said. "My mother talked at me, my sister stuck her nose up, and Auntie Jane is just plain senile. Where are the boys?"
"In the other room," he said.
She poked her head through the door.
"Um, no they aren't," she said.
Andy jumped up from his spot on the bed and poked his head into the empty room. There was two open suitcases with all sorts of junk and clothes spilling from them, a pile of candywrappers, and bedsheets bunched up on the floor. All in all, it looked like a normal teenage room sans teenagers.
"Crap!" he exclaimed, and started putting on his coat again.
"What's going on?" Jack asked.
"I'll explain on the way," he said, and they made their way back to the park. He told her what had happened that afternoon, and she couldn't help but let loose a giggle.
"Only those two would feel the need to save Christmas by getting Santa out of jail," she said with a fond smile.
"Has this kind of thing happened before?" he asked
On the inside, he wondered just how much he'd have to put up with if he and Jack became truly serious. He liked her a lot, but there was only so much a guy could take.
"Well, there was the Easter Bunny incident of '97, but that's not important," she said dismissively.
Andy couldn't believe that whatever had happened could deserve such a name. What had happened? He was almost afraid to ask. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on how one looked at it) he ran out of time to question as they reached the entrance to the darkened and closed down Santa's Village. They saw the two teenagers standing by the sign that designated where the Santa line started, and made their way over. Alex noticed them once they were halfway across and quickly moved to meet them, with Tom right behind him.
"What are you two doing?" Jack said. "Andy told you to drop it."
"But we figured out what's going on," Tom said brightly. "It's a con!"
"Yeah, I know," Andy replied gruffly, crossing his arms to both scare them and try to keep himself warm in the frigid December air.
"You do?" Alex asked, a little surprised.
"Yes, it doesn't matter what country you're in. These places are a rip off."
Both boys looked annoyed at that.
"That was not what I meant," Tom snapped.
"Then what did you mean?" Jack asked in a placating voice.
"Well," Alex began. He would be the one to give the explanation because he was, by far, the more coherent of the two boys. "Turns out that the guy who plays Santa is a con artist who has been squeezing information from the kids to find out which houses are going to be empty over the holidays."
"How do they get the addresses?" Jack asked, skipping over what Andy considered to be a more important question: Why did this matter?
"The company that takes the pictures has the addresses on their computer, and Santa's partner works for the company," Alex explained. "They planned to hit the houses on the twenty-fourth."
"How in the world do you know this?" Andy asked, wondering why they should really even care.
Tom looked at him as if he was an idiot.
"Alex is a super spy; I'm the most observant teenager on the planet. How could we not know all this?" he said, with his hands on his hips and a mocking tone that Andy in no way appreciated.
"Alright fine," he snapped. "Then call in a tip to the police and let's drop it."
"Don't you think we should try to catch them?" Tom asked.
"No," Andy replied firmly. He would not be chasing a con man in a Father Christmas suit all over New York City. He was a member of the SAS, one of the most elite fighting forces in the world. Unless Santa happened to have a bomb designed to take out half the country, he really didn't care. This was supposed to be a holiday—not a crusade to find the wackiest crime and then try to stop it. "It is not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to tell the nearest cop and let them handle it. Got that, Harris?"
He honestly didn't mean to break out his soldier composure while talking to the kid. It just sort of slipped out. Tom noticed however, and reacted accordingly.
"Yeah, Eagle, I got it," he said a little coldly.
"Alex, are you okay?" Jack asked suddenly, prying Andy and Tom out of their small argument.
Andy looked sharply at the teenage spy, who was staring at the life-size nativity scene.
"Wasn't that wise man black this afternoon?" he asked.
Oh, for the love of-!
"Who cares?" he snapped aloud. "It's cold, I'm hungry, and can we please go?"
Alex ignored him and moved to the scene. Everyone followed him, Andy included, albeit very reluctantly and last. Alex climbed over the rope designed to tell people that they really shouldn't be in there, and walked up to one of the wise men. He peered closely at him and then poked him in the cheek. It was then that Andy realized he really shouldn't have allowed Alex do that. It wasn't because he'd get in trouble for ignoring the rope barrier. No, it was because the wise man was actually a dead body that toppled over the second the blond boy touched him. Jack gave a strangled scream in her surprise and Tom's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. Alex just stood there.
"You know, I'm pretty sure I saw a cop on the corner by the hotel," the boy said. "I'll go get him."
He then took off running, Tom right behind him.
"Yeah, now they want to involve the proper authorities," Andy snapped to thin air.
After all, nobody was listening to him anymore.
-
-
And that was how Andy Rosten of the SAS, codenamed Eagle, found himself sitting in a New York City police department interrogation room, trying to explain why and how they came to find the dead body in Santa's Village. He blamed both Tom and Alex for his predicament. Since the two boys were minors, Andy had to sit in with Alex while Jack (whom everybody loved) took Tom off his hands. Thankfully, all he really had to do was listen to the blond boy who could certainly handle a questioning by these guys. He was SAS trained after all.
"So let me get this straight," the officer said, looking down at his notepad. "You witnessed a fight between Santa and a stranger. Then, when Santa was arrested, your friend decided that he was innocent and that only you two could get him out of jail. You then involved Mr. Rosten, who took you back to the hotel. Once there, you snuck out and went back to the park to look for clues. It was then that your guardians caught up with you, and you noticed one of the wise men was a different skin tone. And that was when you discovered it was actually a dead body."
It sounded so bad when he said it like that. Andy actually winced.
"Yes, sir," Alex replied politely. "That's how it happened."
"And in this entire process, you didn't think to tell a police officer or a security guard, that something fishy might be going on?" the man asked.
His tone could be construed as condensing—but Andy wasn't too sure because of the accent. How did these people understand each other?
"Not really, no," Alex said a bit too brightly.
Tom was rubbing off on the boy. Andy brought up one hand to rub his temple just as the officer looked at him.
"Don't look at me. I didn't raise him," he snapped.
He was in no way at fault for this.
"And what exactly were you trying to do?" the officer asked, turning back to the boy who shrugged.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?" he asked, disbelieving.
"No, it was all Tom's idea."
Andy couldn't quite contain his frustrated groan at that. Of course it was. It all made sense now. Oh, how he wished he was back in England right now...
"Look," Andy finally said, leaning back towards the table he'd been inching away from since he'd sat down. "Obviously, they're just two dumb teenagers. They didn't have anything to do with any murders, so can we go?"
The officer gave him a look that suggested he was going to say 'no' simply because Andy had brought up the mere possibility of leaving. However, common sense won out and he nodded.
"Yeah, you're free to go."
The two got up and left the small room. They ended up waiting for Jack and Tom in the waiting room at the front of the small station.
"You're not allowed to hang out with Tom anymore," Andy said suddenly.
Alex looked at him sharply.
"You can't tell me who I can or can't hang out with," he said, and crossed his arms. "You're not my legal guardian and, even if you were, I'd ignore you anyway. Besides, what do you have against Tom?"
"The kid is a loose cannon," the soldier replied. "He just got us dragged to a police station and into a murder investigation. This is supposed to be a holiday—not a job."
Alex shrugged.
"This is all your fault anyway," the boy responded.
"My fault?" the man almost spluttered, and then gave a harsh laugh. "Tell me, Cub, how is this my fault?"
"Tom tried to tell you something was going on," Alex said. "If you'd listened to him, he wouldn't have gone back."
"Wait, you mean you didn't want to do any of this?"
He really should have known that none of this was the spy's idea. If anything, Tom had taken off on his own and Alex had merely followed, probably to bring him back before the kid got into trouble.
"Tom took off," Alex confirmed. "There's something about the holidays that always puts Tom on edge. Ever since his parents started fighting, he's never had much of a Christmas spirit. I think he thinks that saving Father Christmas, even if he is just some guy in suit, will save the holiday overall."
Andy nodded.
"In other words, he's a little messed up," he replied.
"Yeah, just a little."
They fell silent after that. There was just nothing left to say.
-
-
"I cannot believe you four got arrested," Janice Starbright barked from the front seat of the minivan.
Jack's parents had to come pick them up from the police station and were in no way happy about it.
"We didn't get arrested, Mom," Jack replied with an eye roll.
She slipped her hand into Andy's and squeezed it as if asking for some backup. He just stayed silent. He was already not the most well liked person in the Starbright home. Apparently, he was now the biggest reason their little girl was staying on the other side of the ocean. If anything, they should blame Alex—as Jack would never leave him. But Alex had perfected the puppy dog look with the big brown eyes and shaggy blond hair of his a long time ago. Andy had been a little thrown when he'd first seen the teen use it on Jack to get out of being grounded. Even the soldier had to admit it was adorable.
Change of thought, change of thought, change of thou-.
"Then what exactly were you doing there?" the woman snapped.
"We were witnesses," Jack responded. "Alex and Tom found a body in Santa's Village."
"And why exactly were they alone?" Janice asked, looking sharply at Andy.
Jack's Dad seemed to be ignoring the entire conversation. Lucky man.
"They aren't babies," Andy replied. "There was no need to babysit them."
Janice seemed to be of a different opinion and huffed in anger. They might be fudging the facts a little bit, but they really didn't have a choice. The less bad the situation seemed, the better it was for them. Andy looked over his shoulder at the two boys in the very backseat. Alex was doing something with his digital camera, and Tom was looking over his shoulder. Both had a slight smirk on their faces. The expressions made Andy a little nervous. Jack saw it too, and reached back to slap Alex's knee. When he looked up, she shook her head. Andy doubted the attempt to head them off would do any good.
He was right. They had agreed to spend the night at Jack's parents' house for a little extra 'bonding', but Andy was positive it was so that the elder Starbrights could keep an eye on them. Apparently, Jack had been quite the hell raiser in her day and it had yet to be forgotten. Late that night, the four of them were sleeping on a mat of blankets. There weren't enough beds for all of them plus the other guests in the house, so they had the luck of sleeping on the floor.
Andy had the utter misfortune of being sandwiched between Tom and Alex. It wouldn't have been so bad if the two teens had simply went to sleep, but they were kicking him in an attempt to annoy him. He'd just gotten them to stop when his work mobile went off. Groaning, he leaned up on one elbow and reached over both Alex and Jack to where it laid on the coffee table. Checking the screen, he answered.
"Eagle," he answered sharply.
"Uh, what's going on over there?" Fox asked a little apprehensively.
"What?"
"I just got the weirdest voice mail from Cub," the soldier replied.
Either Alex had heard the reply through the speaker or he was psychic, because he tried to scramble up. However, Andy caught him and leaned his weight on him, pinning the teen to the floor with a knee to the back.
"Oh really?" he asked in a mock brightness. "And what did he say?"
He should have known they weren't using the phone so Tom could call his mother.
"Something about a con man Father Christmas and a dead wise man. He also said that you got all parental about something Tom did. What the hell is he talking about?"
"Nothing," Andy replied, perhaps a little too fast. "Just the usual insanity. You know how they are."
"Yeah, whatever," the other soldier replied, not sounding convinced but not really wanting to know what was going on either. "Bye."
"Bye."
He snapped the mobile shut and tossed it back onto the table before landing a soft punch to Alex's side. That was when both boys lost their battle to remain calm and burst out laughing.
Andy continued, "I'm never travelling with you two again. This has been a disaster."
"Oh, c'mon, Eagle," Tom started.
"Yeah, babe," Jack finally spoke up. "It could've been worse."
"How?" he asked, still pinning the blond spy and not about to move. "Your parents hate me, I just got punked by these two, and we're involved in a murder case that I told them to let go before we even realized it was a murder case. How could this possibly be any worse?"
"It could be the Easter Bunny incident of '97," Jack said, sounding like she was trying to comfort him but also trying not to laugh.
"Okay, seriously, what is this Easter Bunny incident?" he asked, annoyed.
"You don't want to know," Tom, Alex, and Jack all said at the same time.
He considered pressing the issue, but then decided that if even Tom said he wouldn't want to know, he really wouldn't want to know. God, he wanted to go home. For some reason, all three seemed a lot less crazy when they were in London. Or maybe the extra insanity was just because it was Christmas. Either way, this was, by far, the least relaxing holiday of his life. He blamed Cub.