Mad World

Chapter 10 - Let's just sleep

"Well, Naruto, I mean, Itachi can't just go walking around in his dark evil cape all the time! He has to get a new wardrobe." Sakura insisted.

Naruto squinted at the evil supposed clan-slaying red eyed man. He looked…strange without the 'dark evil cape'. Sakura had him dressed up in normal clothes. Plain dark-wash jeans and a t shirt, and his scratched headband had been removed. She'd done his hair up in a rather flattering ponytail, no doubt having pinned his bangs back with bobby pins. And his shoes. He wasn't wearing sandals, and instead was in…tennis shoes? Naruto sighed and turned to look at Sakura. The girl he had once pined for near obsessively. Now she was like a big sister to him, a friend, and if dressing Itachi Uchiha like a normal guy made her happy then so be it. If it made her happy to drag Naruto along for the shopping spree, then so be it. He groaned and fell into step with them, entering town completely unnoticed. Naruto paused for a minute. Why wasn't everyone simultaneously freaking out at seeing a mass murderer walking around?

Wait.a.second. Naruto peered at Itachi closely and realized that if he hadn't already known who he was, he wouldn't be able to tell. He guessed the trench coat with the ominous red clouds and girly nail polish made him stand out a bit.

"So, in order to get him a normal wardrobe you brought ME along? How does that even make any kind of sense, Sakura?" Naruto questioned despite himself. "I mean, look at me. I'm wearing footy pajamas."

"He has a point." Itachi concurred in that sleep deprived voice of his.

Naruto had been spending the last week either with Sakura and Itachi or with Sasuke. He was still torn as to which was worse. Ever since Naruto and Sasuke had a sort of 'not fight' Sasuke had been acting weird. He wasn't clingy; in fact he was the opposite of clingy. He was just…weird. When he wasn't with Sasuke who was being 'not clingy', he was around Sakura and Itachi, two people he had never ever dreamed of hanging out with. Naruto had quickly learned that Itachi was relatively a polite person, just not a talkative one, not unlike his younger brother. He had this tone to his voice that suggested he never quite got enough sleep. If anything, Naruto would have said that Itachi killed people for talking to him too early in the morning. But, despite getting to know the man that turned Naruto's best friend into a crazy vengeful idiot, Naruto found that something else was a little off about the situation. Sakura wasn't just friendly with Itachi…she was something else entirely. She truly enjoyed having him around and seemed to hold no grudges against him.

"Shush, don't agree with Naruto, that's something that makes no sense." Naruto shot Sakura a bewildered look. She just told the Itachi Uchiha to 'shush'.

"Also true." Itachi agreed politely. A moment later he pointed out a clothing shop nearby. Sakura promptly dragged him over to it and Naruto was left once again with his jaw a bit slack. He was high…surely, off of something. He was seeing things, hearing things too. Maybe he was in a coma, and in the coma he was having a dream where Itachi willingly went shopping with his usually sworn enemies.

Naruto's shoulders slumped as he grudgingly followed the two inside. It was one of those shops, Naruto noticed. The ones that have high quality, very nice looking clothing. But, at the same time, a pair of jeans costs you $128. Sakura reasoned that this was perfectly fine because Naruto had access to the Uchiha vault. Due to his current…living arrangements. Now this brought on an awkward air between Itachi and Naruto.

"Sasuke gave you a keycard to our vaults…because you're living with him?" Itachi repeated the information he'd just heard from Sakura. Naruto nodded.

"Well, ya know, sometimes I have to do the errands like going to the grocery market or to the post office…it just makes things…easier."

Itachi nodded, again with his unreasonably polite nature, and meandered through the clothing racks with Sakura. Naruto trailed after them, much resembling the puppy pajamas he had worn that day. Sakura picked out countless pairs of jeans and forced them towards Itachi. After being directed to the fitting rooms the Uchiha slayer disappeared. Naruto had watched the jean selection and found himself puzzled as they all looked the same to him. But Sakura assured him, they were all different cuts of jeans and look very different once the person puts them on. Naruto waited, watching for the differences. The first pair of jeans he'd picked to put on was form fitting in a way that made Sakura's face as pink as her hair. Naruto growled in a protective manner, inching closer to his friend but at the same time he knew he wasn't that intimidating looking. They hugged at his hips and stretched taught across his front, and when he turned around left nothing to the imagination in the back. At the fork of his crotch they loosened and fell straight down over his tennis shoes. Sakura, as expected gave them the thumbs up. In response to this, Itachi allowed her the slightest glimpse of a playful smirk on his lips. Then, it was gone, and he returned to the dressing room.

Sakura stared bashfully at her sandals and Naruto snorted. "So Sakura…when were you going to tell me you and Itachi are going out?"

"I, Naruto…we're not, did he…" Sakura sighed, "It's really obvious isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Naruto grinned at the way Sakura was fidgeting now and he rested a pajama paw on her shoulder. "It's really freaky an' shit, an' it'll take me a while to get used to…but I think I can…maybe."

"Thank you Naruto." Sakura murmured, placing her hand over his paw. But she removed it quickly as Itachi had just come out in his latest pick of jeans.

They spent the afternoon choosing new clothes, and by the end of the day Naruto had lost track of how much money they'd spent. Together they all walked back to Sakura's apartment where the happy couple was staying. Naruto shuddered to think what they might be doing up there all alone with no one to watch them. He made a face, but quickly righted it when Sakura turned to give him a hug. He accepted gladly and told her that he'd better be heading home. She nodded. Inside she went. Itachi remained the porch however, staring at Naruto as if he was about to say something. But Sakura grabbed him by the arm and pulled him inside before he had the chance. Naruto rolled his eyes and started the trek home. He had errands to do too, which he was supposed to do earlier while the ItachiAndSakura!team were clothes shopping. But, Sakura obviously had wanted him to be there. Though Naruto hadn't realized it at all at the time, the reason he'd been brought along was the 'friend approving the mate' scenario. If Naruto could get past the whole identity of said mate, he probably would have liked him just fine. He was polite, endured Sakura's incessant chatter with a smile on his face, and really seemed to like her. To boot, Sakura really liked him. It would have been perfect, if he wasn't a crazy mass murderer who was a part of a criminal group that sucked a demon out of one of his closest friends. Naruto frowned at this. Itachi was different; in fact, he'd never been that evil person. It was all Akatsuki's doing. It was all…Naruto stepped into the post office and checked Sasuke's box for any of their mail. Bills, bills, junk, mission schedules for Sasuke next month, mail from Lee and Gaara…Naruto jumped at that last part.

He opened the letter with the official Kazekage's seal on it and began reading on his way to the dry cleaners.

Dear Naruto-kun,

Our plan is in motion. Just as we expected the advisors are not too thrilled by the idea of me carrying children. Well, they weren't very happy with the whole 'Gaara choosing a male spouse' thing either, so let's hope they get over the pregnancy idea soon too. I will mail you as soon as we try the pregnancy test and get a positive. If this all works out, you will come to the birth, right? Gaara's excited about this in his own, more willing to sleep, public displays of affection way. Thank you so much for your help, we truly appreciate it.

Love,

Lee

Naruto smiled and tucked the letter back into its envelope. He was glad things were working out for them, and hopefully the advisors wouldn't get on their case too much. Lee had been so excited about this working out. Not to mention, Lee had told Naruto that the advisors made snide comments all the time about the fact that Gaara had not chosen a female spouse. While Lee had been raised by Gai-sensei to be a very patient, and kind person, he was having some difficulty with being harassed nearly every day by 'insufferable old men'. Naruto winced at the memory of Lee relating some of their harsher words. Into the dry cleaners he went. Naruto was met with a crowd of men. All of them he knew, of course, but Naruto found it funny that they all were sent there on orders of their boyfriends/fiancés/girlfriends. Standing around, grumbling to each other as their orders were made ready were: Shikamaru, Kiba, Sai, Neji, and Chouji.

"Hey guys." Naruto greeted, padding over to them after telling the clerk what order he was waiting on.

"Hey." Was the collective grumble. Then they shot him a look of confusion. Kiba was the one to voice the question.

"Who sent you?"

"Sasuke." Naruto answered easily.

The group laughed. "Dude, you two might as well be dating."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, awkwardly putting the mail into his front pocket.

The other guys shot each other looks. They were all there as a part of the daily errands, sent off to do so by their significant others. Even Sai, who apparently really was dating Shino, was there. They reasoned with Naruto, explaining what the whole village had been thinking. What the whole village had started thinking behind Naruto and Sasuke's backs. Naruto glared at the completely reasonable logic they were using. They lived together, they slept in the same bed (how they'd found that out Naruto didn't want to know), they traded off doing the errands and laundry. Naruto growled at them in warning, though when none of them bothered to look sufficiently cowed, he sighed.

"Do we really act like that?"

"Yeah, you guys really do." Kiba nodded.

Slowly, one by one other orders came up and the group dwindled until it was only Naruto left waiting. He picked up his order, which came in a huge cardboard box, and off he went. Naruto dug around in his pocket for the list of things Sasuke had asked him to do while he was out. Dry cleaning: done, post office: done, Grocery market for milk, o.j., and more ramen: not done. Naruto sighed and pivoted on one foot, heading back in the direction he came. One more stop and then he could go home. Home. Naruto rolled his eyes. He supposed that in some ways he and Sasuke did act like a couple. It felt like pins and needles admitting it, even if he was only telling himself in thought. That would be the first thing he asked Sasuke when he got home, do we act like we're a couple? Sasuke would snort, roll his eyes and then avoid him for the rest of the day. He might, if he was especially offended by the comment, make him sleep on the couch. Such an action in itself would only be proving the question correct, but if Naruto were to voice such a thought it would be met with violent rage.

Once in the grocery market, Naruto took advantage of the cart and put the dry cleaning in it. He pushed the cart through the store, heading for the refrigerated section so he could get the milk and orange juice. Naruto stopped at the right case and scanned the shelf for Sasuke's preferred kind. He liked the one with the little cow on it, and the pink cap. The pink cap was just shy of whole milk. Extremely fattening, but the best with cereal and baking, Sasuke had told him. He would be angry with Naruto if he didn't get the full size jug of milk, but the smaller carton was easier to carry home. The grocery market people, while sympathetic would not allow him to wheel one of their carts all the way back to the Uchiha estate. Sighing in defeat, Naruto pulled two jugs of milk out of the case and put them in the cart. He moved down a few cases. There, he pulled out two orange juices similar in size. Green caps. This was how Sasuke made sure Naruto remembered which to get from the market. Color coded caps were very helpful. Next was the ramen: Naruto, I don't care how long it takes you to carry it home. Get enough ramen to last you a year so I don't have to keep going out to get more. That was what Sasuke had said to him upon writing ramen on the list.

Naruto stood in the aisle where the ramen was kept. He stared forlornly up at the large crates of ramen. The ones they had in the largest crate was his favorite kind even. But then, he looked down at everything in the cart he could not take home with him. When Naruto stood outside the grocery market, strategizing on how he could possibly carry all of the groceries home he cursed Sasuke's name. The things I do for you, Naruto whined inwardly. Ultimately Naruto found a way to carry the groceries that actually worked well. He had the crate of ramen on top of the box of dry cleaning which he carried in one arm. With his free hand he carried the bags with the orange juice and milk. Okay, so he couldn't really see past the crate of ramen, but he was carrying it wasn't he?

On his way back to the house he nearly collided with several people. He apologized sincerely and refused their offers to help him carry his groceries home. Naruto was going to do this, by himself, to prove to Sasuke the insanity of the things he made him do. Of course, when he arrived home finally, Naruto was so tired he almost couldn't will himself to start an argument. Unlocking the front door with his house key had been very tricky, and probably interesting to watch. Then he stumbled into the kitchen and set the dry cleaning and ramen down on the kitchen table, and the bags on the island counter. Naruto wiped the sweat off his brow and groaned at the time. It was six o'clock already? Damnit.

"Sasukeeeee, get your ass in here and look at all that I just carried home for your pathetic dainty self!" Naruto howled.

Sasuke, upon hearing Naruto's cry felt thoroughly offended. He seriously considered staying in the office and reading the book he'd started that afternoon. Sasuke Uchiha was not dainty or, he reasoned, pathetic. But, knowing that Naruto's ego was a fragile one that needed much stroking and praise, Sasuke prepared himself to walk into the kitchen and act proud. He shuffled into the kitchen feeling very disgruntled. The amount of surprised he truly felt was minimal, but he let it show on his face and multiplied the feeling times ten. Naruto developed a cocky, satisfied look to his face at Sasuke's slightly widened eyes.

"All the way from the grocery market on the other side of town, you know the one near that bookstore with the coffeeshop?" Sasuke nodded at Naruto's obscure yet accurate depiction, "They wouldn't let me take the cart home so I had to carry all of this from there to the estate. Might I add that with the ramen you told me to get on top of the box I couldn't see anything?"

Sasuke nodded and cringed and widened his eyes a bit at the appropriate times. Naruto sighed and collapsed at the kitchen table when he was finished with his rant. Sasuke grabbed the dry cleaning and moved it to the kitchen floor and sat down opposite Naruto. They eyed each other, Naruto more wearily than Sasuke. Obviously the fox boy had more to say or else he would have started putting away the groceries. Sasuke, not entirely in the mood for a fight, stayed where he was and waited.

"You know the whole village thinks we're a couple?" Naruto whined.

"Great." Sasuke leant his head against his hand and rolled his eyes. Typical.

Leave it to his legions of fangirls to propose such a ludicrous idea. Granted they had several facts on their side, but couldn't it just be possible for two guys to live together and not be having sex? Sasuke shared an exasperated look with Naruto and they both laughed. How stupid was the village? Seriously. Sasuke got up from his place at the table and started putting things away. Naruto joked lightly about how much ramen he'd bought and asked him teasingly if it would be enough. With one glance, in all seriousness, Sasuke knew it wouldn't be. He was sure that subconsciously as soon as Naruto saw that much ramen he would try and eat it all as quickly as possible. Sasuke didn't understand why this happened, but it just did. Thankfully, Naruto never binged so much that he got sick, so truthfully the crate of ramen would last them a few weeks. He picked it up and put it on top of the refrigerator. Then, idly he crumpled the plastic bags and threw them away.

"So, what'd you do today?" Sasuke asked casually.

"I went clothes shopping with Sakura."

Sasuke rolled his eyes again. It was becoming a reflex, really, from all the things that Naruto said on a daily basis. Sakura had probably wheedled Naruto into spending a few thousand dollars on overpriced clothing for her. It wasn't like they didn't have the money, Sasuke knew, but he wished that Sakura would quit taking advantage of it. He deftly lifted the box of clothes off the floor and shuffled into their bedroom to put them away. Sasuke was tired of having to use the dry cleaners for their laundry. But Naruto's footy pajamas weren't supposed to go in the regular washing machine. That and Sasuke didn't want to have to make two stops in town, at the Laundromat and the dry cleaners so he opted to do all of their laundry at one place. Though it did leave their clothes nicely pressed and warmed, Sasuke knew that carrying it home in this box like this was frustrating. On one of his turns to do the errands he had unfortunately miscalculated and ended up being the one to pick up the clothes. So, technically Naruto's bitching was valid. Carrying home the laundry sucked.

He moved easily towards the living room where Naruto had probably migrated. As expected the blonde was sprawled on the couch, not even watching TV. His eyes were closed. Sasuke grumbled and swatted at Naruto's feet. He opened his eyes and then closed them again, scrunching up his legs so Sasuke could sit on the couch. He swung his legs up onto the edge of the couch, and Naruto rolled onto his side so they would fit. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's legs and lifted them on top of his, and leaned against the arm of the couch his head tilted slightly against the back. Okay, so they really did act like a couple. Sasuke cringed inwardly. Here they were, relaxing on the couch after Naruto got back from errands. In fact, they were in a position they both had been in with each other so many times that they automatically knew to switch into it without saying anything. Sasuke allowed his eyelids to droop as he stared at Naruto's face. He was laying peacefully, his head resting on Sasuke's ankles, one arm casually wrapped around his calves. That moment, Sasuke let himself smile, and really by anyone else's definition it wasn't a smile. It was a Sasuke smile. The corners of his mouth were curled up only a little, and his eyes were completely relaxed and non hateful. It was at this moment that Naruto squinted blearily at Sauske and chuckled sleepily.

"We're such fruits, 'ske." Naruto mumbled.

"Yeah, we probably are." Sasuke replied. He tried to wiggle his ankles free of Naruto's grip, "I gotta go make dinner, dobe."

"Nuh uh, nap time."

Sasuke sighed. If this were younger Naruto, he would have roughly shaken him off, tickled him and then gone and made dinner anyways. But this was older Naruto, who was stronger, who knew his height and used it to his advantage. Sasuke couldn't just wriggle out of his hold and chuck him across the room. He'd have to kick and claw and wrestle his way free if he really wanted to get way. But at the moment he didn't feel he had the energy. Besides, if Naruto was hungry he would have let Sasuke go. But truthfully, Sasuke wasn't hungry either, he just wanted to get away from Naruto before that comment had developed into something. 'We're such fruits'. A harmless statement really. But the fact that everything about the way they acted except for the lack of sex/kissing made them seem like a couple, was bothering Sasuke the more the thought about it. If they kissed, if they crossed that line, Sasuke wasn't sure what would change. He didn't want to find out.

Mostly, Sasuke wasn't afraid that they'd get together and be happy homos. He was afraid that he would like it, and that Naruto, Captain Heterosexual, would not. Sasuke wouldn't be able to handle that. He knew he wouldn't. It would be just one more thing that made Sasuke different, and not as good as Naruto. He'd mostly set aside their differences and accepted they were friends. Okay, that was fine. Sasuke didn't want that to change. Naruto tightened his hold on Sasuke's ankles and growled at him, 'stop fucking moving'. Sasuke stilled his movements and glared back.

"Sasuke, stop moving, don't you dare make me shower you with love and affection. I'll do it too."

Sasuke froze. It wasn't worth the risk. Naruto held to his word, and he would do it. The showering of love and affection he was talking about was a strange mixture of wrestling, cuddling, kissing, and raspberry'ing. Sasuke hated it, and Naruto found it thoroughly entertaining. Naruto would usually grab Sasuke around the waist and tackle him to the floor where he would then nuzzle every inch of him he could. He would make exaggerated smooching sounds, and raspberries all over his stomach, neck, and face. Oh how Sasuke hated it. The main reason he hated it was because it tickled, and he couldn't hold back laughter when he was being tickled like that. No Uchiha should laugh so openly and in such an undignified manner. But at the moment he hated the idea, he loathed it, he abhorred it with every fiber of his being. He was too tense to merely laugh at that sort of attention. Now his mind was entirely focused on Naruto's 'fruit' snippet. If Naruto so much as nuzzled his stomach, Sasuke was sure he would not laugh. Instead he would make some other noises he didn't ever want Naruto to hear.

"What would you make for dinner if I let you go?" Naruto questioned.

"I was thinking of starting on that pot roast, and having a late dinner while we watch that one movie you wanted to see." He waited.

Naruto paused a minute before asking, "What kind of pot roast?"

"Beef."

"Okay."

Just like that Naruto relinquished his hold on him and Sasuke stumbled gracelessly towards the kitchen. He breathed deeply and began moving around the kitchen getting out the things he would need. Sasuke had never been fond of the cooking process for a pot roast. It took four hours at the minimum, and you were never quite sure if the meat was perfect or not when you pulled it out. Still, he followed through with his word and started the roast, and returned to the living room to watch a movie with Naruto. It was some silly action flick pumped full of testosterone and explosions. As he was, still, naturally male, Sasuke enjoyed it at least to a sufficient degree. Sufficient meaning that he could talk about its good scenes with Naruto without actually lying.

They sat down to dinner at 10pm. When they were finished Sasuke had a hard time bringing himself to clean up the dinner mess. But before he could force himself to stand and move to the sink, Naruto waved hi m away, offering to do it for him. Sasuke sighed with relief.

"You go to bed, I've got this. I'll be in, in a sec." Naruto told him generously.

Sasuke gagged as he tried to view the situation through some rabid fangirl's eyes. They sounded like they were married. He went into the bedroom first, undressing and putting his dirty clothes in the hamper. Sasuke stood in front of the dresser, stark naked. He had the drawer that held their pajamas open. The left side of the drawer was Naruto's, and the right side was his. The clothes weren't really that different. They were both mostly lanky wife beaters and flannel drawstring pants. Sasuke grabbed a pair of pants and pulled them on, and he shut the drawer. Meandering down the hall into the bathroom, Sasuke paused at the doorway to the kitchen. Naruto was standing at the sink with his sleeves rolled up while he washed the dishes. Feeling that someone was watching him, Naruto glanced towards the doorway and smiled at him. Sasuke nodded and entered the kitchen. He grabbed one of the rags from the sink that Naruto wasn't using and started washing down the counters. He dried them and then swept the floor to get rid of the scraps that had fallen when he'd wiped the counters off. Then, he started drying the dishes Naruto had washed, and put them away in their proper place.

When they'd finished cleaning, Sasuke went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Naruto followed him and stood behind him, looking at the mirror over his shoulder. Sasuke held the wash cloth against his cheek and stared at their reflections. Naruto had a toothbrush hanging loosely in his mouth, and Sasuke had the washcloth in his hands. Sasuke jolted, startled, when Naruto put a hand on his shoulder. But he calmed down when it was merely to move him out of the way so Naruto could spit into the sink. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water to gargle. While Sasuke put the washcloth in the hamper and plucked one off the shelf to hand to Naruto they traded tasks. He brushed his teeth while the blond standing next to him washed his face. Now that Naruto's mouth wasn't full he started talking.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, but I got a letter from Lee today." Naruto told him. "He said that they've put the plan into motion, told the advisors and everything."

"Hm," Sasuke replied, "How ah they taking that?"

Talking with his mouth full of toothpaste had never been Sasuke's forte.

"As bitchy as usual, they sure are giving Lee a lot of shit apparently. I feel bad for him."

Sasuke nodded.

"And your mission schedule came for you in the mail too, it's for next month. You get off your probation and get to start working again on the second of next month."

Sasuke spat into the sink and reached for a paper cup to fill with water, "Really? That soon? I thought Sakura said it would be more like five months, not two."

"I guess so." Naruto answered, chucking his washcloth into the hamper. "Oy, shuffle off, I gotta take a piss."

"Sure thing, blunt as a 2x4."

"What would you have me say?" Naruto called to him as he 'shuffled off' down the hall.

"I dunno, shove me out the door and close it or something." Sasuke grumbled before seriously adding, "And wash your hands!"

"Prude!"

"Unhygienic moron!"

Sasuke crawled under the covers, into their bed. With a definite feeling of satisfaction he heard Naruto wash his hands and remember to flush. Hah. Win. He heard the light click off in the bathroom and their bedroom door open and shut. Naruto wandered into the room and over to the dresser. Sasuke could only see his outline but he knew it too well by now. Naruto bared all, removing his footy pajamas and boxers and purposefully leaving them on the floor. He opened the same drawer that Sasuke had only a little bit ago. He yanked his legs through the flannel pants and shoved the drawer closed. Then, with as much grace as a humpback whale, Naruto belly flopped onto the bed. He crawled up the middle and rolled onto his back, folding his arms behind his head. Sasuke laughed and Naruto growled.

"Was adding 'moron' onto the end really necessary?"

"Yes."

"Ugh. C'mere."

Naruto slid under the covers and drew Sasuke into his arms. Sasuke did not protest as Naruto rested his head on top of his and tighten his hold around Sasuke's waist. "You know Sasuke, we should just tell those girls we're together, and maybe they'd leave you alone when you went into town."

"No they wouldn't, they'd become a different kind of fangirl then."

"Oh, right."

"Naruto."

"Hmm."

"Do I look like I'm going to leave you and run away again?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto became rigid. Ever since that night that Naruto had reacted so seriously to the joke he'd made about running away, Sasuke had been trying to find a way to make it up to him. He wasn't going to leave. He had no reason. Well, Sasuke thought, I guess I could go and try and find Itachi and kill him. But what would be the point now? Look at what had happened when he'd tried that last time. He'd only ended up hurting his friends, and really everyone. Sasuke forced Naruto to look down at him.

"Do I?"

"I don't know, Sasuke. You tell me." Naruto bit out, "You didn't look like you would last time."

Sasuke sighed, "Naruto, I'm not going to leave again. What do I have to do to prove it to you?"

"I don't know…I'm sorry Sasuke, can we just sleep?" Naruto begged. He buried his face against Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke grudgingly nodded. He wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck and pressed his cheek against his hair. So they went to sleep.

TBC…