Author's Note: Holy explosion of interest Batman! Sorry this chapter took so long, I was hoping to have it done and up before the release of ME3 but that didn't happen. I have to say, I wasn't all too pleased with the ending of the game and at the time, I thought about just deleting this story because of how unhappy I was with it. Then the massive amount of notifications telling me about new followers and favorites, and the jump in my story stats reinvigorated my desire to write out all of Shepard's story. It also helped me rectify my own headcannon which makes the ending more bearable when I do my two replays.
This will be the last chapter for some time, I will be going on publishing hiatus until I have the next few chapters straightened out. I've got a bunch of scenes but no idea what order to put them in. Fortunately, many of the ideas I had were actually confirmed in ME3 so I only have to make slight tweaks here and there, particularly about the prothians.
And please, let me know what you think. The comments help a lot to make sure I stay on track. Enjoy!
The waiting was the worst.
They were all sitting around, waiting for their turn in front of the Assassin Council. Apparently inducting Recluta to the rank of Novizio, which Roden found translated to novice, was low on their list of priorities. And so they sat, waiting in the small receiving area with too few chairs and watching other, more important people pass by to see the Council.
They had been waiting for hours and Roden was beginning to wonder if this was some sort of final test of endurance or patience. They were all getting antsy and about two hours in, Alessia had a small breakdown and wondered why they couldn't wait somewhere more comfortable. Fortunately, Gonzales and Shepard stepped in and calmed her down.
They were now on hour five and Roden could see that Shepard was on the verge of losing her own patience. Each of them had tried to occupy themselves with something and if it hadn't been for omni-tools, they all would've lost it long ago. As of now, Gonzales was reading a book as Alessia leaned on him and appeared to be napping. Qing was fiddling with Keegan's omni-tool while she sat there and watched, making improvements as he had for both Shepard and himself. Blake had brought a deck of cards and was mindlessly shuffling them.
And Shepard was losing to him at yet another game of chess. Try as he might, it seemed his skills as a chess instructor were no match for her inability to plan too far ahead.
"Check." Roden said with far less enthusiasm than he wanted to let on. The wait was getting to him as well.
Shepard leaned back and rubbed her face, digging the heal of her hand deep into her eyes while trying to suppress a yawn. He knew boredom was not something she tolerated for long, she was a very active person in both body and mind. Chess, a game she was particularly bad at, was not something that was going to occupy her for too much longer. Especially after a three game losing streak. Plus, the whole group was on edge from the wait. Roden felt it and it made it hard to remain focused on the game when the tension in the room was so thick.
"Could you possible stop that incessant beeping for just one moment? I'm getting a headache." Blake snapped.
"Not any worse than you constantly shuffling those damned cards." Qing muttered.
At that, Blake started to purposefully shuffle the cards harder and louder, if that was even possible.
Shepard's eyes made contact with his own and she let out an exasperated sigh.
"Real mature." Qing said sharply.
"Would you two stop bitching?" Alessia hollered, "It's bad enough in here, we don't need you two going at it."
"I'm sorry Princess, did we wake you from your beauty sleep?" Blake said sarcastically.
"Blake." Roden said with a warning growl, "That was stupid."
She moved fast, shooting up from her position and storming over to Blake. "What did you call me?" anger poured from every part of her body. "Call me that again! Do it!"
Blake stood up to face her, pulling himself up straight and trying to use his full height to try and intimidate her. "What are you going to do, Princess? Take your best shot." he challenged with a sardonic smile on his face.
Alessia had an anger problem and a wild fight style. He had seen the damage she had done to Shepard during their first hand-to-hand training, Blake was no match. Roden had to step in, there was no way this would end well. Gonzales seemed to have the same idea as he was getting up and reaching for Alessia to hold her back, Roden would cover Blake. Gonzales had reached Alessia and was holding her arms back before her fist could connect to Blake's face, struggling against her strength. Roden was going to use his own body as a shield to hopefully block any attacks Alessia would be able to break through.
"Come on Ally, back off." Gonzales said, trying to get her to stop her attack.
"That's right Princess, let your boyfriend protect you." Blake yelled.
"Let go of me, let me kick this bastard's ass!" her struggling became more pronounced and Roden could see Gonzales straining to keep his grip while not hurting her in the process.
"You really are some kind idiot, aren't you?" Roden yelled at Blake, he was holding back his own urge to hit him.
"Why do you have to be so antagonistic?" Qing piped in. Roden mentally kicked him, this was the last thing that was needed.
"Back off, Qing." Roden chastised, trying to regain control of the situation.
Alessia was still arguing with Gonzales who continued to hold her. Blake was starting to push against him to get to her, Roden had half a mind to let him go and let her take him down.
"Stand down!" Shepard's voice bellowed. Roden felt his own body stiffen in attention, each of them ending their struggle and standing silent. Each pair of eyes turned to her. Roden was struck by the sight. He was the tallest member of the group and stood several inches taller than her but at that moment he felt like she towered over all. She held a look of calm except for her eyes which blazed with fire that demanded respect. For a moment, he could've sworn she was a biotic as it almost seemed like she had an aura around her, an aura that gave her an air of authority.
"Look at yourselves. Each one of you was hand-picked by the Assassins, brought here and trained. They saw something in you that drew their attention, made you worth more than just simply mindlessly wandering through the galaxy. And now, at a time when we are asked to show them our best, to prove our worth, you devolved into petulant children. Arguing amongst yourselves, fighting...is this what they want from us? We have worked together as a team for over two months and I have no doubt we will continue working together as our training continues. It would be to our best advantage to stick together, to show we can do everything they ask of us...and do so as a cohesive unit." There was no anger in her voice, she never raised it. But there was a force behind and for the first time, he could see her real strength. He could see what the Assassins had really seen in her
They were all silent for a moment, each contemplating her words. Roden could feel his own shame rise up for allowing himself to be dragged into such a childish quibble. He should've known better.
"Sorry Shepard, we lost our heads for a moment but we never should've let it get to us this much. I'm with you." Roden said, wanting to finally break the silence. He locked eyes with her and there was a subtle change in her eyes...relief maybe? He couldn't be sure but he figured no one else would notice as no one else spent as much time with her as he had and he had gotten to know most of her looks by this point.
"You're right, I'm with you too." Gonzales said, pulling himself up straighter.
"Me too." said Keegan, who had been staying away from the arguing, remaining in her place on the floor. She looked like the whole thing had shaken her up but confidence was beginning to return.
Alessia and Qing both mumbled their apologies, Qing looked especially ashamed.
Roden's eyes drifted to Blake. Resentment would be the word Roden would use to describe the look on his face, Blake and Shepard had an antagonistic relationship with Blake constantly trying to push her buttons. It was no surprise he would still be standing against her.
The others drifted away as Shepard stepped forward, Roden could feel electricity surrounding her, a coiled energy ready to be released when needed. She stood toe-to-toe with Blake, her chin lifted not just to be able to look him in the eye but to also show her dominance.
"Do we have a problem Evans?" her voice held a calm that unnerved Roden.
Blake's eyes narrowed, a look of contempt crossed his face. So many retorts could be read on his face, Roden wasn't sure which direction he would go. Roden moved closer to Shepard, taking a protective position just to the right of her, giving her his support and ready to back her up if needed. In the corner of his eye, he could see Gonzales start to do the same. Blake's eyes darted around to the three of them then turned to Shepard.
Finally, Blake relented, "None at all, Shep" he said sharply. "Just keep your bulldogs on a leash and we'll be fine." Blake gave one last look to Roden then backed off, returning to his seat.
Roden let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding and relaxed his shoulders. Everyone began to return to their seats except for Shepard. Tension still surrounded her like she was waiting for something to happen, waiting to make sure everything really was better. Roden began to reach for her, to place his hand on her shoulder and try to put her at ease when the door to the Council chamber opened. The mood suddenly shifted and his hand dropped quickly to his side, everyone else turned to the sound.
Out stepped Hotaru Goto, the Assassin who had been training them on their freerunning skills and de facto Recluta supervisor. "Everything okay out here?"
Shepard straightened up, "Nothing to worry about, we're just all a little...tense...from the wait."
"I apologize for that, other concerns suddenly came up that had to be dealt with immediately." For a moment, Roden could see a worrisome look appear then fade just as quickly. "We are just about ready to begin the evaluations. Byrd, you'll be up first and then we'll move in alphabetical order from there. I'll return in about fifteen." He gave a quick nod then returned to the Chamber.
Roden turned his eyes back to Shepard and he watched as her body visibly relaxed. She turned around, met his eyes and then passed him to sit against a wall further away. He watched as she slumped down onto the floor, wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees. Roden gave Blake one last glare then moved to sit next to Shepard. He slid down the wall, settling onto the floor and rested his arms on his bent knees. Everyone was silent, probably mentally calming and preparing themselves for their evals. He knew he was.
"Thanks." Shepard quietly said after a moment.
Roden leaned a little closer to her, bumping his shoulder to hers. "I'll always have your back, Shepard." Always.
They sat there quietly, waiting for their turn to come.
Over two hours had passed since the evaluations began and Shepard could feel her body and mind rebelling against her. Seven hours of waiting had taken its toll...so had her burst of adrenaline when she stepped up to calm the situation earlier. She had never had thought of herself as one to take control but she couldn't let the others rip each other apart. Someone had to get them in line. Apparently, that person had been her.
Now she sat in the small receiving room with Qing, waiting their turn to be called. The others had already gotten through their evaluations and currently Roden was in the Chamber getting his. The odd thing was that none of the others has passed back through the receiving room. They must have gone out some other way and it bothered her a little to not know how the others had done.
Shepard began to rub her temples, a headache had settled in. Her whole body was aching from the lack of any real movement. She looked up at Qing who was nervously fiddling with his omni-tool. His face was pulled in tight, he looked like he was nearing a panic-attack. Thinking back to their conversation nearly two weeks ago, she understood what was making him so worried.
How would the Assassins feel about someone working for them who didn't want to kill another?
"Hey." She said. Qing's head jerked up and slowly his face loosened, giving way to pure apprehension. "It'll be okay."
"I don't know Shepard, I just don't…" his jaw clenched, a million things must be running through his head.
"What's the worst that could happen? They say thanks-but-no-thanks and send you on your way. Hell, I'm sure they'd even find you a place." And she believed it. Reaching over, she grabbed his hand and held it tight, "And if they don't, I'll figure something out."
Qing gave a snort of amusement, "What can you do?"
"Now wait a minute, if there's anything you should know it's to never doubt me. I'll always come through." She held fast to his eyes, not letting him look away, wanting him to see the sincerity.
For a moment, he contemplated what she had said. He let out a slow sigh, "Okay. Yeah, I believe you."
With a curt nod, she leaned back, "Good."
Shepard was amazed at the timing, once again, as the door to the Chamber slid open and Hotaru stepped out. "Elizabeth Shepard, you're up."
Her own feeling of trepidation flared up, this was it. She gave Qing one last look, patted his arm and stood up to follow Hotaru into the Chamber.
It was feeling a little like she was going to her execution.
The only sensation she could feel was the thrumming of her heart against her chest and the blood running through her veins. The only sound she could hear was the beat that pounded her ears. Every breath was heavy, like trying to breathe through a straw, and it was never enough. Her vision seemed muted, edges were blurred and dark...everything seemed to move so slowly and seemed too distant.
Quietly, she followed Hotaru into the Council Chamber as he led her to the center of the room where a solitary chair waited. He gestured to it, indicating she needed to take a seat, while giving her a reassuring smile. Shepard tried to swallow but her mouth was dry. She took her seat, trying to maintain some composure so as not to give any indication as to how anxious she really felt.
The room was dark, as if lit by torchlight, and highly ornate. It was almost like being in some medieval hall, vaulted ceilings held up by tall pillars that. It reminded her of the main hall she passed through on her first day, she was still in awe of the sight. Before her, a curved table and the five members of the Assassin Council sat. At the center, the Mentor, whom she hadn't seen since her arrival. On either side of him were the rest of the Council, two men and two women. All of them Master Assassins, the highest rank one could attain. Behind the Mentor stood two shadowy figures flanking him, the darkness obscuring who they were. Hotaru had taken his seat at one of many chairs to her right where other Assassins waited, all of whom she recognized as the ones who trained her and the other Recluta.
Each was dressed in typical Assassin garb, white hooded tunic and dark pants, each fashioned to the wearers tastes. The trainers wore more simplistic uniforms while the Council was more elaborately dressed. Everyone had kept their hoods up which made seeing their faces harder in the low light. It would also make it harder for her to read them, not that it really mattered. The Assassins were good at masking their emotions, she never could get a good grasp on them.
"Elizabeth Aine Shepard," she winced internally at the sound of her middle name "you are here to be judged by the Council of Assassins to determine your worth to us. To my right are Katrina Everard and Jaco Segador. To my left, Hikaru Goto and Sarah Ripley." Shepard jumped at Hikaru's name, that must be Hotaru's father. "We will first hear reports by your trainers who have been working with you for these past two months. After that, we will have questions of our own." Shepard pressed her hands onto her thighs to keep them from fidgeting. She had been through one of these once before and that ended badly. She could only hope that this would end in her favor.
They spent a good deal of time listening to the various trainers who she worked with. Najya and Hotaru, the freerunning trainers, spoke of how well and how fast she progressed through each of the courses. Even though she wasn't the best at the start, they told of her determination to do better and how she attained every goal she had set for herself. Hotaru also told of her first day on Intai'sei and the chase in Chuoshi, how she had impressed him early on with her running and tracking skills. Eryx, the hand-to-hand specialist, talked about her natural talent and the advanced training he put her through. He emphasizes her ability to adapt and combine new moves from different styles. Minka, another hand-to-hand- specialist, told of how much Shepard was helping the other Recluta with their training during their free time.
Glowing reviews from each and every one of them. It was making her nervous and more than a little self-conscious. Heaping praise on her was not something she was used to and it was, in a way, highly embarrassing. Looking at the Council, their faces were unmoving and gave nothing away...just as she figured. The two Assassins flanking the Mentor were also causing her some unease. The one to his left didn't bother her so much, his body language was more relaxed, like he was highly interested in what everyone had to say. The one to his right however, he was the one that was causing her some discomfort. She could feel his eyes on her, boring into her and judging her like she didn't belong there.
"Thank you Eryx. And thank you all for your reports." the Mentor said. He turned his attention away from them and back to Shepard. He leaned forward and laced his fingers together, "Shepard, we have heard from all of your trainers. Do you have anything you would like to add?"
She took a deep breath to try and calm the fast beating of her heart. Giving her shoulders a slight roll, she sat up straight. "I only wanted to say thank you and that if you accept me, I will continue to train hard and work to be the best I can be." Immediately, she regretted her words. They were the same ones she gave to the Alliance N7 recruitment board...and that ended…
"I see. " the Mentor leaned back, "Well, does the Council have any thoughts?"
"If you ask me, I have yet to see anything that impresses me about this one." Master Segador spoke up, Shepard's heart stopped. "She has skills, yes, however they can use those same skills in the Alliance. What more would she bring to us."
"There is potential, but what I see is a lack of passion." Master Ripley looked directly at her, "You speak as if you are just another grunt, a cog in a wheel. That is not what we are about."
"Like I said, perfect for the Alliance. More fodder for turian cannons." Master Segador waved his hand as if dismissing her.
"While her skills are impressive, I have...concerns." Concerns. Master Goto was using the same word that the psychiatrist had said. Concerns.
"How do we know that if we train her she won't use her skills to retaliate against the batarians." Master Everard said.
Shepard's world was falling apart. She listened as the Council sat there and debated her worth, unable to believe the words they were saying. Concerns. Retaliation. Batarians. The words burned in ears, a searing force driving through her body. Like a fire, it spread through every part of her until she could see nor hear anything beyond the thumping of her own heart. The smell of smoking flesh, the screams of pain and fear, the singular thought running through her mind...save them…The singular thought that drove her, every part of her, everything that she was came down to those two words...save them…Her mind was filled with the memories of Mindoir and they moved to overtake her. She had to do something...she couldn't lose this chance...to save them...
"Stop!" Shepard shocked herself as she stood up. The room became silent, every eye trained on her as the Council sat stunned. "All I want is the chance to do some good in this galaxy but it seems everywhere I go, everyone I turn to, question my motivations. I hate the batarians that killed my family, I want to see them burn and suffer for what they've done. But I will not go out and seek them in revenge. I will not use what I learn, use my training to hunt them and kill them. More than anything, I want to find peace within myself. I will not get that from vengeance but from saving lives. Captain Hackett told me that you are the...protectors of free will. Let me be a part of that. Just...give me the chance."
Shepard felt her energy was spent. There was nothing left in her. Carefully sitting down, she forced her head up high to face whatever consequences would befall her. The Council members each turned to the Mentor who continued to stare at her. Behind him, the Assassin to his left approached and leaned in close to the Mentor's ear. After a moment, the Mentor nodded to what the Assassin had said. After the Assassin stepped back, the Mentor looked at each of the Council members who had been watching him intently.
"Elizabeth Shepard. It is determined by this Council that you are to officially accepted in the Brotherhood of Assassins and granted the rank of Novizio. You will continue to train in the arts of the Assassin, learn our history, and uphold our Creed." The Mentor's voice reverberated in her head, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I'm...I'm accepted?" she could barely contain the shaking of her voice.
"You are being given a second chance, Novizio Shepard. Do not waste it." the Mentor said forcefully.
Shepard stood up and gave a slight bow, feeling her entire body shake, "Thank you." Hotaru approached her and gestured towards a side door. She followed him to the door and she turned to him as it opened. He gave her a slight nod of approval then stepped back into the chamber, leaving her standing at the closed door. She felt her shoulders drop and she let go of the breath she had been holding in. Accepted. She was finally being given her chance.
"Shepard!" She turned to see Roden quickly walking up to her.
"Roden, hey." She said with a relieved smile.
"So? What's the news?"
"I'm in. You?"
"Me too. All of us actually, even Blake if you can believe that." he said shrugging his shoulders. "Though I think his review went badly, he wasn't happy when I saw him after mine."
"Not quite all of us. We still need to hear about Qing, he's in there now." she jutted a thumb behind her, indicating the door.
"Well, everyone else in the lounge waiting. You want to meet up with them?"
"No. I think I'd rather wait here for him. You know...just in case."
"Yeah, it's nice to have friends waiting for you. Good or bad news."
They found a wall off to the side near the door. Roden took a seat and Shepard slid along the wall to sit next to him. Her adrenaline running low, tiredness swept over her as her eyes grew heavier. They had been waiting all day and the expended energy from the day had finally taken its toll. Her head lolled forward a bit.
"Here, lean on my shoulder. He'll be a while." Roden offered.
Shepard rested her head and started to drift, "Thanks."
"Anytime."
There they sat, waiting for their friend.