Struggles

*Ginny*

As the light around Harry's hands started to spread, I started to feel the power radiating off of him. The house started to shake and the air around him visibly crackled. Hermione and Ron ran up the stairs just in time to see Harry as his hair whipped around and his eyes went golden. The ground started to shake even more than before as things started to fall from the tables. It was like he was in a trance.

HARRY!

I shouted out as loud as I could through the mind link. I could feel him struggling to keep control…

HARRY! I tried again, the tremors getting worse than ever, if he continued like this there wouldn't be a house left. I clung onto the nearest doorway to steady myself and I tried a different tactic. I launched myself at him, hoping that it would somehow stop this, whatever it was. I held his face and tried to look into his eyes. Then as quickly as it came it all seemed to leave him as the house came to a standstill. He took a gasp of breath before he lent against the wall for support, and then proceeded to slide down it.

We rushed to his side, asking him if he was alright and what had happened. I cupped his face again so that I could look into his eyes and make sure he was hearing me. Suddenly again his energy seemed to return. I jumped back in shock, as he held his eyes shot wide open and look at me.

"Ginny! I'm so sorry, I couldn't control it! Are you okay?" He rushed out, fear evident in his eyes and searching mine.

"Harry I'm fine. Everyone is, you just gave us a bit of a scare."

He then looked at Ron and Hermione, and upon realising they were okay, he relaxed again.

"I couldn't…I wasn't ready…" he mumbled, bowing his head, obviously ashamed with himself.

Harry, don't start getting worked up about this okay? You're not at fault. Do you hear me?!

He looked up and gave me a weak smile, "Yes, dear.". And then his brow furrowed and I saw him wince.

"Hermione could you get the dittany please?"

Without questioning, Hermione took out her wand and summoned her bag.

"Why, what's wrong this time?" I asked soothingly. I was pleased though, at least he was admitting to us that something was wrong.

"My arms." He mumbled, lifting them up, and turning them over so his wrists were facing up. I could already see some of the blood soaking through his shirt, and it went up to his joint. I carefully pulled back and couldn't stifle a gasp at what I saw.

"Hermione, HURRY UP!" I said.

"GOT IT!" She yelled triumphantly, before pouring a few drops on each of my arms. It looked like two weeks of healing had gone by.

"I didn't mean to worry anyone." Harry mumbled, looking at the floor and running a hand through his hair nervously. I wasn't taking this anymore, so I grabbed his hand.

"Harry James Potter, you look at me right now!" I commanded, and he complied,

This is NOT your fault, I repeat NOT your fault, and everyone was worried because they CARE about YOU. I know it might be hard for you to believe but we all do care about you and we have EVERY RIGHT to be worried! Are we clear?

He smiled at me.

Yes dear. I know it's frustrating for you but you're gonna have to give me a bit more time than that to get used to this. But still, you're brilliant you know that?

Now it was my turn to blush. And then my mind went to that image I'd had since I was a little girl, a beautiful wedding, flowers everywhere, my mum crying in the front seat…And Harry by my side.

I looked into his eyes and knew that he was seeing what I was thinking. I could feel him struggling again, (boy does this guy ever relax?), as he fought with either reciprocating my love or telling me that I won't happen.

And why wouldn't it happen?

He looked at me, but didn't respond. His eyes full of sorrow. My mood changed completely. This was something bad, something really bad. I'm so stupid…How could I of forgotten? Was I so wrapped up in my own little world of happiness that I didn't even think about what Harry needs to…No, I won't let him. He can't-

I don't know what the right thing to do is anymore…You deserve…So much more than I can give you.

Don't you dare-

I'm not going to break my promises to you. But it's just what I feel.

…Harry-

"You know," Hermione started, shaking us out of our link, "It's rude to have your own mental chat whilst there are two other people in the room."

I felt my face heat up. I was about to argue back at her for interrupting at such an important moment, but Harry cut in before I could say anything.

"How did you-"

"It was obvious." Ron piped in.

Normally I would have raised an eyebrow at him, but what Harry had said shook me to the core.

"What? I can notice things when I want to!" He replied heatedly, misinterpreting the silence. How ironic.

"Anyone for tea?" Hermione suggested kindly, reading our expressions.

We both nodded, before heading downstairs. I shot Harry one of my 'we'll be talking about this later looks', (oh yeah, I'd mastered them), as we went into the kitchen.

We all sat around, thinking to ourselves in silence. Harry, I could feel, was trying to take him mind off of me, and therefore was doing what he usually does…Make up plans to save the blooming World again. Anyone who looked at his face could practically see his thoughts being formulated, but anyone who knew him better could see his was avoiding thinking about something else.

"Okay, this is the plan:" Harry started, and everyone immediately listened, "I know you won't let me leave you behind, so although I don't want to, you'll have to come as well. Is there anyone who would rather not come?"

Everyone stayed silent.

"Right, well we're going to-"

Suddenly, pain shot through the scar on his forehead, I could feel it. I looked at him and could see it was taking all his will power not to show it and to keep his hands firmly on the table. But he couldn't hide it this time, not from me.

"Your scar." I said. Everyone stared at Harry.

He closed his eyes and gripped the edge of the table, trying not to yell out.

"Harry you have to-" Hermione started, but then Harry let out a yell and fell to the floor, clutching his head.

I felt pain almost as if it was radiating off of him, and I started to feel weak as well. Vague and blurry pictures started to form in my mind of someone walking down a twilit street.

Then all of a sudden he blocked me out, no pain and no images. I realised that I was also on the floor, holding my head with both hands. Suddenly sound seemed to flood back to me, and I could hear Hermione asking me if I was okay.

"Harry. I'm fine, check Harry." I mumbled. That'd taken a lot out of me, I felt weaker somehow.

"Please check Harry." I begged Hermione, who hadn't moved. She did then. I pushed myself off the floor, shaking slightly. I'd heard about how Harry could see into Voldemort's mind but I never imagined it'd be anything like this. Then again, everything seemed to change. My energy flooded back to me, and Harry opened up our link again. His yelling stopped. I immediately rushed over to him and grabbed his collar, shaking him slightly.

"You promised! We'd do everything together!" I shouted at him, angry and hurt. He was a white as a sheet.

"I didn't want you to have to relive your worst nightmares." He replied.

I softened immediately. He didn't cut me off; he was protecting me from pain far greater than this. Reliving my first year was perhaps the worst thing that could happen to me, besides losing someone close to me. hhhH

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Harry you're meant to shut him out!" Hermione yelled, "You're not meant to let this happen anymore! Dumbledore wanted you to use Occlumency! He thought the connection was dangerous – Voldemort can use it, Harry! What good is it to watch him kill and torture, how can it help?"

Déjà vu

"Because it means I know what he's doing." He replied

"You're not even going to try to shut him out?"

"Hermione shut up!" I yelled, furious that she didn't understand

"No I won't. What, do you like having this special connection or what – whatever"

Hermione faltered. I felt anger radiating off of Harry, as I felt my own boiling up. She had no idea.

"Like it?" harry responded quietly, "Would you like it?"

"I- no-"

"How dare you!" I spat venomously, my Weasley temper proceeding me. Everyone looked shocked, even Harry. "How can you even imagine what it's like? To have your worst enemy inside your head? Of course Harry doesn't like it! He's doing what he needs to do to win this war, like he's always done! Dumbledore doesn't understand that it's helpful to know what Voldemort's doing. Dumbledore left us in the dark, he can't expect us to not grab any information that we can get ahold of. And Dumbledore's gone now. Harry can make his own decisions. He doesn't need to be told things he already knows from you."

The whole kitchen stood still in silence. I wondered if I'd gone too far.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Hermione mumbled awkwardly. Harry got up off of the floor and I rose with him from my crouched position.

"Right. What did you see?"

"He's killed a family…He didn't even need to they were just in his way…But he's trying to find Gregorovitch."

"The wand maker?" Hermione asked. "Why?"

"How should I know?" Harry answered, obviously still annoyed with Hermione.

"Right." Ron finished lamely.

"What was the plan anyway?" I asked.

"We're doing it in two days." Harry announced firmly, whilst Ron fell off his seat, and Hermione sunk into one.

"Two days?" She squeaked.

"Two." Harry assured, "The quicker we do it the better."

"So what are we each going to do?" I asked, ignoring Ron as his chin fell further.

"Well I know exactly where I need to go, she's going to be wearing it. But we need to create a copy of it so she won't notice. You're all going to head straight down to the Department of Mysteries Floor, I'm going to meet you down there as soon as I can, but first I need to quickly get to her office, and tell your dad – He said motioning at Ron and Ginny – that he's being tracked. On that floor, there are trials being held about the blood status of muggle-borns and such, and she'll be down there. As quickly as possible, we need to get in, swap the necklaces, and get all the muggle-borns out…Otherwise they'll be killed." He finished solemnly.

"Harry there so much more information we need to know before we go there, and also you need to make sure your strength as fully returned. Give us a week. We can make sure we have every detail checked off, you won't be vulnerable, and if we have any time left over you can teach us some of what you've learnt. Okay?"

"I really think-"

Harry that does sound like a better idea. I provided, whilst he shot me a cheeky glare.

"Oh alright then." Ron seemed to relax back into his chair whilst Hermione only leaned forward even more.

"Tell us everything! They must have special way of detecting intruders and we need to be positive we're not going to put a foot wrong-" Hermione rambled as Ron sank further into his seat with a tired look on his face.

Typical Hermione. I thought. And I'm hungry!

You're beginning to sound like Ron.

Oh hush you!

"Hermione," I said, stopping her mid sentence, "Perhaps it'd be best to talk about these things when we're all awake okay? Food anyone?" Ron shot out of his seat gleefully and made for the dining room, whilst Hermione huffed and started to argue with him. I casually went over to sit in Harry's lap, grinning down at him.

"Good to be back?" I asked

"Never better." He replied, giving me a light kiss before carrying me off into the dining room to join the others.

CAKE FOR ALL

I bet you'd all thought I'd given up on you! Well I haven't but I a terrible sorry, Here's the long awaited chapter, I hope it's good enough :).

Won't answer individual reviews this time but will next time :)

Yours

Chocoholic

:D