Khuzdul

Thoughts

The news of Thráins death was met with many tears. The elves of Rivendell had quite enjoyed the dwarfs rude behavior, and in honor of his memory they held a memorial service. Every elf in Rivendell attended the service, and once everyone paid their respects Thráin was sealed inside of a grave that had been carved out of the stone of Rivendell, just for him.

Thráins death hit me the hardest. For weeks I spent my time in Rivendell as a silent ghost, drifting through the halls and looking through everybody as if they weren't there. I would sometimes sit outside of Thráins grave with his ring hanging off of my star necklace, and his beads woven into my hair.

I hadn't been sure how I would put the braids in, but my hair had eventually reached a length where I just put it up into one long braid and wound it around my neck so it could drape over my shoulders. The few beads I had taken off of Thráin were placed in a random order. While Thráin may have taught me how to speak in Khuzdul he never taught me any other dwarvish customs. Although from the times he'd heatedly fought me over cutting my hair I could guess how important it was in their culture.

Eventually Elladan and Elrohir broke me from my depressed funk, but it took a lot more than a few pranks to get a laugh out of me anymore. After a while I began believing I was making everybody around me feel depressed, so I packed up my things and left Rivendell in the middle of the night.

The days I spent traveling alone felt much longer than I remembered them to be. I had nobody to talk to, nobody to sit in comfortable silences with. Not even anyone to race against.

Because I had nobody to talk to I rarely stayed in my human form, usually deciding to change between a horse, a wold, a great eagle, or sometimes even a polar bear, but the latter was mostly during the winter months.

That was the form I was currently traveling in. The howling winds were unforgiving on my eyes, and the biting cold couldn't be fought off with a simple leather cloak lined with white warg fur. Snow was falling from the sky in thick sheets, and I needed to get out of it as fast as I could, but the closest area of civilization was the Shire, and that was some leagues behind me.

I was beginning to think of just burying myself in the snow and hope for the best when I saw a dark hole a little ways ahead of me. The sight caused a wave of caution to roll through me, but nonetheless I continued forward to check out what the odd sight was.

As luck would have it the dark hole ended up being the opening to a cave. It wasn't the biggest cave I'd ever been in, but it was enough to protect me from the unforgiving cold.

I was just getting ready to fall asleep when a near silent shuffle sounded from deeper in the cave. My eyes snapped open, and I lifted my head from my paws to scan dark surroundings. Upon first glance there was nothing to see, but when my eyes adjusted I could make out a small blob that was darker than its surroundings.

Standing up from the ground I brought myself to my full height and stalked to the back of the cave. A deep growl fell from my lips, and whatever was hiding in the shadows of the cave let out a fearful whimper.

The sound made my growls get caught in my throat. Whatever it was that whimpered certainly wasn't a bear. In reality it didn't sound animal like at all. Add in the fact that something else started making shushing noises to the one whimpering I knew I needed to check out what was going on.

My growling ceased, but I still continued lumbering forward. The whimpers grew louder with every step I took, and soon I saw the black blob divide into two. The second blob was bigger than the first, and it was speeding towards me.

Going on the defensive I roared at the oncoming (possible) threat. It immediately fell to the ground with a fearful cry, and I placed my front paws on either side of the stranger. The lack of light made it hard to see what it was I was standing over, but I could vaguely make out the golden locks of human hair, and a very human body. The only real problem was the fact that this child could be no more than seven years old.

"Fee!" Another black blur attached itself to my head, "Run Fee!"

"Kee no!" The blonde haired boy wrapped his arms around who I assumed to be either his brother or friend, and pulled him off of my face.

I shook my head and snorted a couple of times, and when I felt comfortable I looked back up at the two boys as best as I could in the darkness of the cave.

The blonde one that I had pinned down was standing protectively in front of the smaller boy. From the looks of him he would be around seven while the other was maybe four. Seeing such young children hiding in this cave during a raging snowstorm made worry claw at my insides. It didn't help that they were looking at me with fear.

I slowly crouched down onto my stomach, and pressed my head against the ground. The eldest was looking at me with fear now tinged with confusion. I took that as a good sign, and slowly started inching my way forward across the ground.

The blonde one tensed up, and his little brother clutched onto his shirt sleeve. I paused long enough for them to slowly relax before moving forward again.

"Wa's it doing, Fee?"

The blonde one shook his head at his little brothers question, "I don't know Kee." "Kee" slowly let go of his brothers sleeve, and held his hand out towards me.

"Kee stop!" He grabbed his brothers hand, and forced it back to his side. He pointed a finger at me, "It could be dangerous!"

His stern expression froze when a weird, smooth object smothered wet stuff onto his outstretched arm. Both boys slowly turned their heads to see me obsessively licking his hand.

With a cry of disgusted shock he pulled his hand away from my enthusiastic tongue, and I unapologetically allowed it to hang out of my mouth similar to what dogs do. The blonde one looked at me like I was an alien, but the younger one started looking excited.

I brought myself out of my crouched positing, and settled back onto my haunches. This allowed the smaller boy to rush at my leg and cling to it.

"Kee what are you doing?!" The blonde one made a move to pull his brother away from me, but I simply raised my arm off of the ground, bringing the boy into the air. This sent the dark haired youth into a fit of giggles.

"Look! Look Fee, I's flying!" He started kicking his legs his legs about, and I gently set him back down before he ended up slipping off and hurting himself.

"Kee, don't do that! What if he hurt you?" A low growl rumbled from my throat, and the boys looked at me fearfully, making me stop immediately.

"Why'd he–?" Kee's question was cut short when I gave another short growl.

The blonde one gave a thoughtful frown, "Maybe he–," another growl. "He could–," more growling. "I don't think it's a he at all."

Kee looked up at his brother, "Wa?"

"I think he's a she." I puffed a happy breath and nodded my head up and down.

My reaction made Kee wildly wave his finger at me, "Fee she nodded! Did you see? Did you see?!"

"Yes Kíli I saw," the elder boy was finally growing exasperated with his brothers actions.

The air in my lungs stilled at the name. This entire time they'd been calling each other by nicknames, but hearing the dark haired one being called Kíli by the blonde who I assumed was his older brother made me look at the two of them with a critical eye.

The only image I had to compare them to was the vague memory of when I watched the hobbit movie. Fíli and Kíli, nephews of Thorin Oakenshield, were brothers who shared an unbreakable bond. Two brothers who should currently be living inside of the Blue Mountains, but are now (apparently) standing in front of me.

Compared to my blurry memory Kíli looked fairly similar to how he would in the movie. No doubt he would grow into his looks by the time the Company is formed. And Fíli has the same blonde hair, and instead of a badass mustache he had a bit of stubble growing in on his chin. I wondered how I could have missed such a glaring feature on a small child's face.

Kíli tugged excitedly on his brothers arm, "Fee, Fee, it's the white bear!"

Fíli nodded understandingly, "Yes, Kee, I see the white bear."

"No," Kíli stomped his foot with a pout, "She's the bear from Unca Torins story!"

He looked away from his younger brother, and gave me a scrutinizing look. Squinted eyes and all. "But that happened years ago, Kee. She wouldn't be alive anymore."

"Unca Torin was there and he's still alive," Kíli oh so wisely pointed out.

"But animals don't live as long as dwarves."

"Den let's ask her!" Kíli shuffled up to me, and I lowered my head to look at him at eye level. "Are you Unca Torins bear?"

I snorted in amusement, but didn't nod. I may have been there all those years ago, but I certainly wasn't Thorins bear.

"Don't ask her like that Kee!" Fíli nudged his brother to the side, and I was able to lift my head a little bit since he was about a foot taller than his brother. "We're you at the Azanulbizar with our Uncle Thorin?"

The fact he was able to say Azanulbizar without stumbling impressed me. It took me a couple tries myself before I could get it all out at once. To answer the young dwarfs question I nodded my head in agreement, letting them know that I was, in fact, the same bear that helped their uncle Thorin.

Kíli gasped in excitement, "You saved Unca Torin's life! And Unca Frerin!"

I blinked at them second name, and a happy rumble echoed from my chest. By the sounds of it Frerin had survived his injuries and was close with his nephews. The good news was a welcome ray of sunshine in my otherwise dreary life.

"Does that mean she can help us Fee?" The question wasn't directed at me, but it definitely caught my attention.

Fíli was looking at me with calculated worry while Kíli's eyes were filled with hope, "I don't know Kíli."

Kíli huffed, and turned to me, "Can you take us home?"

I gave him a long look before moving my shoulders in the best form of a shrug I could do as a bear.

Kíli seemed to deflate at my unsure answer, but Fíli held some hope, "We live in the Blue Mountains. Do you know where those are?" I nodded because, even thought I've never been there before, I knew where they were geographically. "Can you take us there?"

That was a different question altogether. If it wasn't winter than I would just fly them back to the mountains, but because of how bad it was snowing it would be too dangerous. If I was correct then the Blue Mountains were actually rather far away from here. How these two got here I had no idea.

Seeing as how it was the middle of winter it was bitingly cold outside, and I could already see there small forms shaking from the cold of the cave. Having them ride on my back would most likely cause them to freeze to death before we even got to the mountain.

I shook my head because no, there wasn't any way for me to get them back to the mountain alive.

Fíli ducked his head, and his curtain of blonde locks hid his face from my view. Kíli's lips were openly trembling and his eyes were gaining a glossy hue.

I leaned forward and gave his cheek a small lick before turning around and walking towards the mouth of the cave. I heard an anguished cry from behind me, "Where are you going?" I looked back to see Kíli struggling to get out of his brothers arms.

I growled back at them as warning to stay put, and I hoped they got the message.

Going back out into the cold snow was the last thing I wanted to do, but I needed to think of a way to travel through these conditions while keeping those two little dwarves warm. Thankfully dwarves were more resistant than normal human children, but they weren't invincible.

When I was a good distance from the cave I shifted into my human form. I immediately started shivering from the onslaught of cold against my fur-less skin, but I determinedly took off my leather cloak and folded it so the white fur was protected from the snow. Opening my mouth as wide as it would go I bit down on the cloak before shifting back into a polar bear.

I walked back into the cave, and found Fíli holding his crying brother. The sight made me utter a questioning whine. When the two heard the foreign noise their heads jerked up, and when they saw I had returned Kíli burst out of his brothers arms and ran at me, "You come back!"

Fíli made no move to stop his brother so I ended up getting a chest full of little dwarf. The dwarf attached to my chest prevented me from moving further into the cave, but thankfully Fíli saved me the trouble by coming to me, "We thought you left."

His voice had a note of insecurity, and I gently knocked my head against his. The sudden proximity let Fíli see the unfamiliar object inside of my mouth, "What's that?"

I pressed the leather against his chest, and when he had it in his hands I gently opened my jaws. He let the material open up to reveal the white warg fur. Kíli gasped, "Oh," he ran his hand over the fur, "it's warm!" The two of them huddled inside of my cloak. Apparently my body heat was stuck to it.

Laying back down onto my stomach I tapped my nose against the cloak to get their attention. Get on my back little ones, I gestured my head to my back.

Even though they couldn't hear my thoughts they could still understand what I was trying to convey.

Fíli pulled his brother up to my side, and I felt him use my leg to push himself onto my back. Even then I could feel Kíli struggling to get a good position on my back. Thankfully Fíli had a much easier time getting up onto my back, and he could help his brother sit normally.

"Are we going home now Fee?"

I felt a twinge of guilt, and gave them a sad whine. Whatever Fíli had been about to say had changed when he heard that, "I don't think so Kee…"

Kíli cried out in confusion, "But I thought she was takin us home?"

"Not yet Kee," Fíli whispered to his brother as he tightened the cloak around their shoulders, "not yet."

Since the mountain was so far away I wouldn't be able to make it there before we all either froze or starved to death. So instead of risking all of our lives I decided to go to the Shire. The journey there took two finger numbing days, but eventually I saw the dim lights coming from hobbit holes in the hills.

I trudged up to the top of the highest hill, and scratched at the frosted door. It opened to reveal Belladonna Baggins née Took. Apparently she'd married Bungo in the years since I last saw her.

She almost shut the door on me, but when I removed the cloak from the children on my back she ushered us inside and placed us near the fire. The blue tinge to Fíli and Kíli's lips slowly faded as the fire warmed their skin, and the beginning signs of frostbite melted away.

Belladonna doted on the two boys by wrapping them up in fuzzy blankets and drying off my wet flank with a towel before laying them against me.

When they woke up Belladonna was more than happy to give them food and drinks, but when they went back to bed I could hear her arguing with Bungo. He didn't want such a dangerous creature living in their home, and apparently taking care of two dwarf children was more trouble than they were worth.

Of course as the saying goes, happy wife happy life.

Fíli, Kíli, and I stayed in the Baggins household until the beginning of spring. By then all signs of snowstorms had passed by, and we could safely travel over Middle-Earth without the danger of starving or freezing to death.

Belladonna sent us off with packs filled with food and pouches of water. Bungo even gave us a wave farewell because he just couldn't resist the adorableness that was Kíli Durin.

There was still a good amount of snow on the ground when we left the Shire, but with the spring sun warming up the air it slowly melted into slush.

Journeying with two young and impatient dwarves was by no means an easy feat. They may have been twelve and seven years old, but in dwarvish that's only about six and maybe four. It's not easy keeping those two by my side, but I was able to manage it.

By the time the Blue Mountains were in sight the ground was just about dry, and the two dwarflings on my back were squirming with excitement.

We were getting closer and closer to the mountain when I got an mischievous idea. I stopped walking to look at the impatient dwarves riding on my back. They had my leather cloak draped over their bodies to keep out the chilly spring air, but the wet fur was on the outside instead of the inside.

Perfect. I stretched my neck to uncomfortable lengths to grab the corner of the cloak, and gently move it so it covered their bodies. Kíli whined about not being able to see the mountain, but when he tried to peek out from beneath it I growled.

When I finally made it up to the front gate of the mountain I was greeted by a very stern looking dwarf. When he demanded to know what I was doing there I felt the boys stiffen. There really wasn't any way for me to answer so I just sniffled his hand, and prayed to God he didn't cut my head off with his rather intimidating ax.

"Isn't this the bear that fought in the Azanulbizar?" They looked at me strangely, "The stories never said anything about her being so…disfigured."

I knew the disfigurement they were talking about was Fíli and Kíli who were actually blending in underneath my cloak. The white warg fur allowed the cloak to be barely detectable.

Never more thankful for Thráins lessons in Khuzdul I nodded at the stern dwarfs companion. The action shocked them, for they hadn't expected to receive an answer.

"I heard she was intelligent, but I believed them to be only rumors…Come!" The stern dwarf started walking towards the slowly opening gate, "You would be a most welcome visitor for the Durin family. They've had a hard winter."

Hearing those words made me look back at the two lumps squirming on my back. They had enthusiastically shared their story with Belladonna during our stay at Bag End. Apparently they had decided to skip their studies and go play outside, which was forbidden. So naturally they went out without telling anybody, and wandered too far from the mountain. When they decided it was time to head back they got caught in that snow storm and wandered for hours before finding the small cave where I'd found them.

That had been sometime in the middle of the winter, and now it was well on its way to mid-spring. They've been separated from their family for a couple months now. No doubt everybody thinks their dead.

I internally snickered, anticipating the moment when everybody realized they were actually alive. Hiding them was a way for me to build tension. Not to mention if everybody in the mountain saw the princes we would be swarmed. That wasn't something I wanted.

It took us quite a while before we finally reached a set of regal doors. Our journey there caught the attention of many dwarves, and word spread like wildfire that the white bear from the Azanulbizar was here in the Blue Mountains.

When we stopped in front of the doors my dwarf escort loudly knocked three times before pausing. There was a deep 'enter' that came from someone inside of the room, and the dwarf pushed open the doors wide enough for me to fit through.

"Your majesties," the dwarf bowed low, and I looked over to see two dwarves near the fireplace, "we've received a visitor that I believed would like to see you."

"You believed they wanted to see us?" The familiar baritone voice came from the dwarf standing next to the fireplace, "Did you not ask…" Whatever Thorin was going to say died on his lips as he turned around to see just who his visitor was. "Fròthi," the name was nothing but a whisper, and I internally cheered when I realized the name they gave me was Khuzdul for guardian.

The blond dwarf sitting in one of the armchairs lifted his head from his hand, and when his hazel eyes found my grey I could see his entire expression light up, "Well I'll be damned."

"Language," Thorin lightly chastised his brother, but there was no real heat behind it.

Naturally Frerin ignored his brother and stood up from his chair, "I never thought I'd see you again!" He walked up to me, and I noticed a limp in his leg. The same leg he broke in the Azanulbizar.

He noticed me looking at his leg, and laughed, "I ended up breaking it a second time. I'm now cursed to limp forever." I could feel the two little dwarves squirming on my back, and I shook my body to try and get them to stop before they were noticed.

"What are you doing here, Fròthi?" Thorin joined his brother to stand in front of me.

I grunted, and looked at the dwarven guard who was still in the room. There was no reason for him to be in here.

Thorin saw the glance, and sighed, "You are dismissed." The dwarf bowed low with a mumbled, "your majesty," before sweeping from the room.

"Alright snowflake," Frerin clapped his hands together, "what brings you to Ered Luin."

I turned myself to the side at the same time I gave a low cry, and the dwarflings on my back took this as their green light to fling my cloak away from their bodies. They gave simultaneous shouts of "uncle!" and swiftly fell from my back in their haste.

Thorin and Frerin were frozen in their shock, but when their nephews arms wrapped around their legs they jolted back to the present. Seconds later the two dwarflings were swept into giant hugs by the usually stoic dwarves.

Watching the two grown dwarves bury their faces in the hair of their nephews was enough to make me feel like I was intruding on a special moment. When I saw the tears slowly start falling down all of their cheeks I decided now would be the time to look away.

When a large hand set itself on my neck I turned to look into Thorins glassy eyes, "You found them. You saved them, and brought them back to us. We will forever be in your debt."

The word sent a pang through my heart. It reminded me of when Thráin braided my hair to show that I was friends with their line. Knowing that I was a part of their line in some way was already enough for me, so I shook my head because I had no need for their debt. I did what any other decent human being would do.

Thorin immediately sent for a guard to fetch his sister. When the dwarf entered the chambers I could see a visible strain in her features from thinking she lost both her sons. But when she saw her children safely in the arms of her brothers she cried, no, wept with joy. I wouldn't be surprised if the entire mountain could hear her.

I couldn't pretend to know what it was like to lose a child, not to mention both of them at once, but I could at least try and understand what she was going through. If Thráin suddenly appeared after all of these years of believing he was dead I would weep tears of joy as well.

While there was nothing but love saturating the air I could still hear the three dwarves scolding Fíli and Kíli for scaring them so badly. Each thinly veiled threat to spank them until they couldn't move from her sight never failed to extract a snort of amusement form me. The scene made me wonder what would have happened had I made it here with Thráin.

My musing was interrupted by a small body climbing back onto my back, "Fròthi saved us!" I looked to see Kíli had been the one to climb in my back, and he was telling his mother, with the help of Fíli, what had happened.

Dís, Thorins sister, slowly approached me. She pressed her forehead against mine, "I cannot thank you enough," her voice was thick with emotion, "I had thought them to be dead, but you brought them back to me. There is nothing worse then being forced to accept your children's death. It's like having the floor ripped from underneath you, and all you can do is try to survive in a never ending void of despair."

My chest rumbled in a comforting gesture, and I gently knocked my forehead against hers, before shaking Kíli off of my back and making my way for the door.

"Where are you going?" The worried voice belonged to Fíli.

"Will we ever see you again?" I looked down at Kíli, and nodded my head as regally as possible.

Sooner than you think little one, I pushed passed the growing crowd of dwarves and ran from the mountain as fast as I could go, Sooner than you think.

AN: Alright happy chapter! And the best part is that we're starting The Hobbit storyline next chapter, so we'll be meeting the company.