Chapter 9

Facing reality

"He probably has someone that can control the cameras." Yayoi said, when in the next day Akane shared her doubts. "But Ginoza-san is not so sure we should share that suspicion. He probably doesn't want to raise waves before we are certain. That could make them change their tactics..."

Akane looked to Kougami, noticing his features darken; she knew he hated waiting, and worst, wait for someone like Makishima to make his move. He kicked his chair and exited the room, almost bumping into Ginoza that observed him walk away with a crease between his eyes.

"He is getting worse…" he said to Masaoka when the older man waved at him.

"I'm not so sure… I think he is getting better…" Masaoka said, biting his lip. "Ever since the missy came he has become more thoughtful and less reckless…" the Enforcer said in a low voice that made the Inspector look to the girl at the back of the room typing on her computer.

"Do you think something is happening between them?" Ginoza said, worried about how something like that could influence the team.

"Kougami is too focused in Makishima to realize what real life feels like and the missy is too innocent to do something like that…" Masaoka replied, not wanting to worry the man with his own doubts. In all truth, he wasn't so sure about his words… but if there was one thing he was certain, it was that his goal in life was to keep that man's peace of mind… In the end, he was the real cause of all the troubles he passed through while growing up… Kagari made some remarks that made him think about the relationship between Tsunemori and Kougami, but he would rather worry in silence than rat them out to the Inspector; Ginoza was an honorable man, like his father tried to be until it was too much, but he would do everything to stop that relationship, if it really existed. It was his fault his superior felt so strongly about the rules… It couldn't be easy seeing your own father lose himself to his dark thoughts and leave his wife and son behind to cope with the consequences…

"I want to visit my house…" she said bluntly while Kougami dried his hair with a towel after his bath.

He looked at her, surprised. And then, observing her eyes, he saw how they were resolute and he understood; it was the last mile step towards her fully recovery.

"I will go with you…" he said, with no doubt marring his voice.

"Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable remembering what he did to Sasayama…" Akane said, sitting cross-legged in front of him.

Kougami grabbed the towel forcefully and sent it flying towards the floor with rage. He crawled to her and grabbing her cheeks with more force than necessary he whispered with frenzy.

"I won't let you go alone! What if they are there waiting for you? We don't know how his actual puppet looks like! If they killed you…" he sighed, releasing her cheeks. "I can't lose you too, Akane…" he said and it didn't pass unnoticed that it was the first time he called her by her first name. Even if they shared their bed and their bodies with each other for weeks now, he never let that last wall fall, until now…

"Shinya… don't worry… I won't go anywhere without you…" Akane replied, with a soft smile.

He sighed again and letting himself fall against the pillows he replied: "You're going to be the death of me…" to which Akane's expression fell.

"Don't ever say something like that…" she said, kneeing beside his body and laying her head over his chest. I won't let you die, I promised to myself I wouldn't!

"They cleaned it all… It's like all of that was a dream…" she said, after opening her bedroom door. Everything was like how she left it in that fateful morning: her bed neatly made, her mirror cleaned, her walls without any trace of red ruining them…

Kougami squeezed her shoulders, his muscular chest against her back. And she sighed, walking inside the division. She walked towards the wall, where they impaled her friend and touched the paint, feeling the softness of it under her fingers. She sat on her bed and looked around, noticing Kougami's uncomfortable stance beside her mirror.

"What's going on?" she asked and he looked up, guilt written all over his face.

"I always imagined how your life was outside of work… You would have a colorful house, with a helpful robot and lots of light pouring from your windows… You would wear lacy skirts and dresses and smile and laugh with your friends…" he said, using his hands to point her girly room.

She was looking at him without realizing where he wanted to get.

"You understand that all we have is inside of that room, right? You realize we can never walk together outside of those walls? I'm an Enforcer, I can take no wife or father no children… You can't have a life with me like you would with any other man… I can't give you a ring or ask you to marry me… If anyone finds out, you will be fired and despised by your colleagues… You will lose all respect and people will you see only as the mistress of a dog…" Shinya's voice was hard and cold, the guilt and shame marring each and every word. "Are you ready to say goodbye to all this if anyone finds out?" he asked and Akane flinched with his accusatory tone.

She thought they had already surpassed this stage, but apparently, seeing how she lived made him rethink all of those moments they spent together. She rose to all her height, her hands in her hips and her face angered.

"Are you demented?" she replied, and his eyes widen; those were not the first words he was expecting to come out of her mouth. "Don't you think I thought about all of that while you were asleep beside me? Do you think I'm a child? A feeble girl with no intelligence to guide her? When I choose this job I wanted to know my place in this society, I wanted to understand why I was born, my true mission in here as an active citizen, I didn't want to see my future all written for me… I wanted to fight for it! And in that night, when we kissed for the first time, it all made sense for me! Even if I was only alive to work with you and save you from yourself it would be worth it… You are an amazing man, you work hard to protect people you don't even know, you would give your life to save another, you lost everything trying to avenge your friend, when anyone else would think of him as only a latent criminal. So, don't underrate yourself or me, for choosing you! If someone finds out, we will deal with it, in that time, with that person, but now… don't make me choose over an unreal threat…" she said, biting her lower lip and feeling her throat constrict with a lump. She made herself swallow, while expecting for his answer.

"You stupid girl…" he grumbled and closing the distance between them, pulled her against his chest and kissed her slowly.

"Come…" he said after parting from her. He grabbed her hand and pushed her behind him. "I want to show you my favorite place…"

Next chapter we are going to see how Kougami's favorite place look like and believe me, that place will have an important part towards the end of the story...