Truths and roses
Sorry for the long wait for new chapters. I've been writing quite a bit since Chapter 9. I just never felt I had the time and patience needed to do proper edits before posting more chapters. I hope the written word is as good as the version in my head. Enjoy!
Chapter 10
A week after the funeral, I started to breathe easier. I find that perplexing due to the circumstances. From the moment the bullet entered Barlow's chest he lost the ability to hurt my loved ones, or me, or anyone really. In that same moment I lost my last opportunity to avenge Martha's murder. Now there would never be an arrest, charges, trial, or sentencing. There would never be a man to man discussion with the self-seeking bastard who ordered and paid for my wife's execution. I'd been robbed of my right to have that "talk" with Barlow Connally. The one where the grieving husband snuffs out the cowardly piece of crap like a cheap cigarette under his cowboy boot. I would have been satisfied with either, I think. And now, I'll never know.
I think I was holding my breath after the shooting, thinking that as long as he was alive there was a chance even the slightest of chance that Barlow would recover enough for some form of justice. Now that the bones of this degenerate were rotting in the dirt, I've started to accept the finality of it all. And, from there I am finding some relief.
Vic generously shared her take on my calmer outlook. The fact that she had a theory to share is no surprise, but I surprised myself when shared my inner thoughts with Vic. A step I do not regret. Vic explained that for the longest time I wouldn't let myself off the hook. I was determined to find justice for my wife. True. Vic described it like I had been running down some treacherous road to get to that mythical land where I solved the crime, the bad guys went to jail wrapping up the whole story like some best selling mystery novel. Actually, I believe she specifically referred to the Hardy Boys books, but she was likely being silly or sarcastic or both.
The road came to a dead end for sure. Not before kicking my but a few times and dragging my loved ones along for the ride. Vic's analogy rings pretty true. Now I'm coming to terms with the fact that the resolution isn't what I envisioned. Of course, I also never envisioned Martha being killed, or her cancer diagnosis before that. Never saw myself as a widower. And certainly, I never envisioned falling in love again.
The arrest and formal charges against Jacob Nighthorse add to my new less unquiet norm. The Prosecuting Attorney of Abaroska County has been as transparent as he can be with me. In this case, I'm the victim's husband, and I really shouldn't be afforded the same privileges as a Sheriff. But Jack Holter is a good man. I think Jack probably looks at his own wife of 35 years and tries to do for me what he'd want done for him if he were in my shoes.
In addition to the restlessness, I've noticed the appeal of confronting Nighthorse dwindled. Vic and I talked about the wisdom of me traveling to see him. I could sit across a metal table from Nighthorse in one of the interview rooms at the county lock up. I could detail Branch's finding that Nighthorse received money from Barlow and that Barlow confessed this was for the express purposes of having Martha killed. Then Jacob would say, what he always says, that he knows nothing, wasn't involved, it's my prejudice making connections that aren't there, and so on. It's entirely possible he didn't know what David Ridges was hired to do. As I told Vic, that doesn't absolve Nighthorse or prove he's innocent. Vic then re-read the list of charges against Nighthorse, and the possible prison time for each, all to remind me that arrogant son of a bitch with his smug face will never grace my county again.
Vic. (Sigh) We're enjoying our new normal. Since that night at her home, there haven't been anymore declarations of love or discussions of what the future holds. We both seem comfortable living each day as it comes. Of course each day only adds up to nine and a half days since our talk on Vic's sofa. But, I'm optimistic.
Tonight is a big night for us. I'll be taking Vic out for our first date. I'm rather proud of all the planning I've done for our date. All that's left to do is ask her. Funny how I can feel so comfortable with her in so many ways, then be nervous about asking her out on a date. Guess I'm still a little bit afraid I'll do it wrong. I haven't asked anyone out in over 20 years. With Lizzie, our dates came about either by chance or her initiation. Vic may seem all alpha, but I know better. When it comes to romance she expects "to be treated as a lady." I know because that's what she told me. And in case I forgot, she scribbled the same message on a sticky note signed in all caps 'VIC' and underlined 3 times.
A door slams somewhere on the second floor causing every door and window in our offices to shake. Vic's back. I reckon it's time to man up and ask a lady out to dinner. Boy Howdy!