Chapter Ten

Reasons to Live, Reasons to Lie

It took over an hour for the hospital staff to get Eric calmed down and stable enough for Jackson and Melissa to finally, seven hours after the fact, be allowed in to see him. He had , fortunately, not made his injuries worse when he had fallen, nor given himself any new ones. And the jolt of Valium they had given him finally had him settled enough for Li Fang to be willing to approve a ten minute visit, in light of the horrific scene with Roslin.

" Go in and be reassuring , but don't coddle him. He has to face the reality of what he has done, of what he very nearly succeeded in doing," Fang had told them in a no nonsense way. Then, he had reached out and briefly squeezed Mel's hand gently before opening the door to the small, dimly lit room. Eric lay there, his longish hair limp from his ordeal, his narrow face still and unnaturally pale in the faint light. He was hooked up to a half dozen different monitors. His chest rose and fell shallowly as they went over to him, Melissa to the right, Cody to the left.

They stood there in silence for a time, both content for the moment that he was simply alive. Then, Eric moaned softly, a look of pain crossing his face. His chest rose as he whimpered from the pain, his hazel eyes opening as he fought it back. He fell back still, then reopened his eyes as he became aware of their presence. He worked his mouth for a fee seconds before he as able to rap anything out.

" Hey." as all he managed to get out, but it as more than enough.

Mel leaned over and kissed his cheek delicately, as if she were afraid anything more forceful would harm him. " Hey yourself, " she said, fighting back tears at how tired and wounded even his voice seemed. " You've had us all scared." she said in gentle reproof. She reached down and stroked his hair a few times as Jackson cleared his throat and spoke.

" What are we going to do with you ?"he said, shaking his head as he looked down on the younger man, a ghost of a smile taking the worst of the sting from his words. " You just don't get it. We're not abandoning you. Not ever. No matter who you are, what your mom does or how many bad things happen, we'll always be there. But you gotta start telling us what's in your head. We can't guess. Ok?" he asked, making certain Eric was listening to him and comprehending. He met Cody's gaze steadily, but there as still fear in his eyes.

Dammit, he's expecting us to come down on him like a ton of rocks, and part of me wants to so bad it hurts. He scared the fucking hell outta me and he managed to disappoint me too. But if I do, he'll never trust me the same way again. Being in love with him ad Mel may have it's good side, but it has liabilities too. I never realized just how hard it is for him to trust, thanks to his warped family. And if he thinks we've lost faith in him, he'll do it all over again. Only he'll make sure no one stops him the next time. Jackson was at a loss for the magic words, for there were none. But all at once, the memories of everything they had been through, of all the good and bad times seemed to blur and fade.

There was only the here and now. And despite the lack of faith Eric had shown and the damage and pain it and his actions had caused, the love was still there. He stopped talking and thinking and leaned over to kiss the left cheek of Eric , his right had touching the right side of the bed rail, here Mel closed her hand over his as he did so. Mel held his hand even as her other one went to Eric as she leaned into the embrace as well.

Eric's chest shook as the emotions swept through him. " I'm sorry. All I could think of was that I was a freak. That thanks to my mom, everyone will know it and they'll never let me live it down. And that when they find out what happened to us and what we've been doing, they'll hurt us. Or separate us. And I'm not strong enough to go it alone. And I'd have to."

" No. Never. Not as long as I'm alive. You'll never be alone. You have to stop trying to drive us away." Jackson sore as he stood up, Eric's hand still clenched in his, a fierce look of determination on his face.

" That goes for me too. " Mel added as she held onto his other hand, mindful of the IV in it. " Baby, it'll all come out. We know that. we'll deal with it together, like we've been doing. But we're together now, understand? . Always." And she had a look of determination on her face as well, one that seemed to match and compliment the one on Jackson's, across the small bed .

" Even after what I did?" Eric asked, in an almost child like voice, disbelief still on his face. But hope was now there as well. And need. " Even after I nearly killed myself and I hurt you two that bad?"

" Yes."

" Always. No matter what. No matter how stupid you act, on occasion. Frequent occasions." Jackson was smiling as he said it. Then he touched Eric's cheek ith a graceful gesture as Mel did the same .

They stayed the hole allotted time. Outside the door and around the corner, Tina Wu and LI Fang stood vigil over the three young adults. Li slowly put an arm around Tina, who resisted for a moment, then flowed into the embrace. Her right hand was bandaged. She had cut herself on Roslin's sharp teeth when she had punched her in the mouth.

" I cannot lie anymore to her. Not when one of her loves is being hurt in this manner by that foul woman, his own wretched mother, " Tina said, a look of fear and determination on her on attractive face as she looked into the beloved face of her closest friend, who had once been so much more. " Even if she hates me for a time, I can't lie to her, Li. We have to tell her the truth ."

Fang looked down at his oldest friend. He tensed for a moment, ready to protest from almost eighteen years of habit, then relaxed slightly and spoke with trepidation plain in his cultured voice. " You're right. It's time and past. I merely hope that your daughter can forgive us and can understand why she was led to believe that Lao was her father when I am. You said for years our past would return to haunt us one day." He looked into the ebon eyes of Tina as he pulled back, holding her strong shoulders in his hands as he faced her. " It seems the Tina Wu Prophecies are coming to pass at last." They shared a wisp of a smile as the hoary old name Lao had given Tina's vision of the future as said aloud for the firs time in fifteen years.

They returned to their vigil over the almost, but not quite, broken young man in the small e.r. room. Both were ever so slightly envious of the enormous love Cody and Mel obviously felt for him , and there was a trace of ae at the sheer power of it as well. They went into the room side by side.

Next: Find out what the Marins and McHugh's were ding earlier. And Jackson comes face to face with the man who stabbed Big J.

Author Here: Hey, Johnny Pacar has joined Holyood Knights, agroup that helps raise funds for HIgh Scools here and abroad. They also provide support for out troops overseas. He's going to Italy for a week withthe USO Mediterraean group. Check out for info or johnny's Myspace page. It's good to see him giving his time back, now that he seems about to finally break onto the A list.