Chapter 10

Authors Note- Sorry if I was a little late updating, I have been really sick lately and wasn't able to write a chapter, hopefully I can make it up to you guys with this chapter. Thanks for all your support and reviews.

Ally P.O.V

It has been 5 months since me and Austin first met, god it feels like it was only a week ago. Back then if you had told me that my life would turn out anything like this I would have laughed in your face, but it was real, this was happening, like I'm living out a dream. Austin and I have been seeing each other for about a month now, and I have never felt so…alive. I say seeing each other instead of dating because we haven't actually said anything about being an official couple, but that's probably because he wants to keep taking it slow for me. Being with Austin has opened my eyes to many new and exciting opportunities I never would have thought possible with my old self. We have almost finished our song and it sounds really good so far, sometimes I think he doubts himself because Austin says he can't write songs, but he came up with most of the lyrics and I did most of the melodies and chords. He is really talented and he is very capable of achieving great things.

Meanwhile I'm sitting here in my living room in my apartment watching the clock tick, sounding like the beat of a heart which was more unnerving than relaxing. I was waiting for Trish to come back from work, which is funny because she never actually gives off the impression that she actually works, I swear she has a new job every 5 seconds. I wanted to talk to Trish about something that has only just seemed to open in my train of thoughts; I realized just a few days ago that I hadn't actually told Austin the whole story about my past, I think he figured it out when he saw pills in my drawer but that's only scratching the surface. I need to tell him, because whenever I look at him I feel like I'm lying to him and that hurts

Trish arrives wearing her usual animal print or bright clothing. I felt so relieved when Trish walked in. She walked towards me and sat next to me on the sofa. "Whats up Ally, you texted me right in the middle of work, not that I care about work but anyway whats the problem".

"Trish...Austin and I have been…umm seeing each other for a month now and he still doesn't know anything about me, I feel like I'm lying to him about the real me and it feels wrong". She placed a hand on my knee for support. "Ally I know you are going to get tired of hearing this but you need to tell him, it will make you feel better". I knew she was right but I'm not sure I have the strength to tell him. "Trish I know you are going to say he cares for me and he would never leave me, but what if he does".

"Ally don't you think if he was going to leave he would have left by now, he cares for you too much Ally, he wrote a song for you Ally, if that doesn't say he cares for you I don't know what will". I looked out the window, looking at the raindrops having a race down the paneled glass. "I guess you're right Trish I need to do this, it wouldn't be fair on him not knowing". She smiled. "You two are so cute together". I felt my face flush. "Thanks for the advice Trish".

"You're welcome Ally but you would have known the right thing to do anyway".

Austin P.O.V

I still can't believe that Ally and I are together. I also still can't believe that such a beautiful and kind hearted soul like Ally could hold such darkness and hurt. It just goes to show that the kindest hearts have felt the most pain, cause they know what it's like to feel hurt and they don't want anyone else feeling like they did. But for Ally that's not all she is and I can see that, she is gifted, talented, beautiful, kind and generous. She is so sweet and I really really like her, man whats wrong with me.

Ally P.O.V

I was heading my way to Austin's apartment to tell him everything, he needs to know, and the guilt has been eating me alive. The memories of us together were getting lost in a myriad of tangled thoughts. I loved being with him, he makes me feel happy and secure, like the world is not crashing down on my shoulders, like I'm weightless and breathless.

I arrived at his apartment and got out of my car. I had the nerves bubbling up inside my chest like hot lava. I walk up the steps to the apartment each step feeling like I'm lifting a brick up and down.

I head up the elevator to his room and knock on the door. He opened up and he greeted me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. "Hey Als". I smiled at him. "Hey, can I come in". My heart was thumping against my ribcage. "Sure, come on in".

"Thanks". I walked into his apartment room, it felt homely. I sat down on the couch and Austin came by with a cup of hot chocolate, aww. "Here you go, I was just making some and I thought you would like a cuppa". I took the warm cup in my hands and it sent warmth through my body like a tidal wave. "Thanks Austin you're sweet".

"I know". We laughed, that innocent laugh, the laugh that can make you forget about everything and the world is good for a while. "So Austin I need to tell you something, it's kind of important and it might be a bit of a shock". His eyes widened. "Is everything okay"? I put my hand on his knee as a sign of reassurance. "Yes I'm fine Austin, I 'm here with you". He grinned. "That's sweet, so what did you wanna tell me". I had forgotten I had said I was going to tell him something. "Umm Austin I haven't been completely truthful with you".

"Oh no you're not a vampire are you"? I rolled my eyes at his humour and laughed. "No I'm not, but I need to tell you something that is really personal to me and I really want you to know". He looked at me eyes filled with concern. "What is it Als".

"Umm here goes, I'm just going to come right out and say it". I took a deep breath, I had never been this nervous to tell Trish. "When I was 11 my mum was…murdered". I was going to say brutally murdered but I think that was pushing it on the sensitive subject. "And then a month later my dad committed suicide, I was so upset and depressed, and then my Aunt took me in and homeschooled me until I was 15 and then I was severely bullied by my classmates, it got so bad I turned to not eating and umm…self harming and even attempting myself". Each word felt like I was choking. "And then my…aunt took me to the doctor and I got diagnosed with depression, PTSD and social anxiety". He looked stunned. "That's why you found a picture of my mum in my drawer, because she is my inspiration to keep going…my hero". Suddenly a flashback flew into my mind

Flashback

"Mum, Mum, I have written a new song would you like to hear it". 11 year old Ally was running into her house and was stopped short from her father at the door, looking pale and scarred. "Dad where's Mum". Ally's dad stepped out of the house and he looked glad to as if it was a haunted house. "Ally I need to tell you something". She sat down on the front porch with her dad. "What is it Dad". He looked like a ghost, like a distant memory. "Ally, you're mothers not coming back to us". He sounded like he couldn't get the right words out, but how do you explain to an 11 year old child her mother has been murdered. "What do you mean"? She wasn't sure she had heard him correctly. "It means that your mother has been…murdered". That last word would forever haunt her, forever be a part of her, a part of her tortured memories. At first she didn't believe her Dad, but it's her Dad, he would never lie to her. "You're lying to me ". He looked shocked and if possible whiter than what he was before. "Ally I am not lying… I'm so sorry darling".

Reality

"I don't really remember anything after that; everything was a blur, emotions and feelings colliding into one. I couldn't believe what my dad had said but at the same time I had to accept it, but I couldn't bring myself too, losing someone you love at any age is difficult but I was only 11 years old, and now I'm 19 and I still haven't gotten over it". Austin's eyes were sparkling with tears, I had never seen him cry, and it was oddly comforting. "Oh Ally that's terrible, come here". He pulled me into a hug and it felt warm and inviting. He rubbed my back up and down, which is my weakness to be honest. Before he let go of the hug he kissed the top of my head.

"Ally words can't explain how horrible that is, but I'm not going to go on about how sad it is even though it is, cause Ally you're strong and you can overcome anything you set your mind to, your parents would want that for you. We should never live our lives in the past, sure we can honor our memories and we will always have them in our hearts but we can become stronger and wiser from our pain, convert your pain to strength. The ones that truly love us Ally never really leave us; they are with us all around". I was stunned I had never ever thought of anything like that, he is so deep. His way with words gets me every time. "Austin, thanks I really needed to hear that, thanks so much". I said half smiling half crying. He smiled.

"I'm here for you Ally always".