He was procrastinating.
It had been five point two hours since he and the Captain had beamed back aboard the ship. He did not seek out his intended. He headed straight for the science labs, his experiments taking top priority in his mind. As he poked and prodded at the vine they had extracted from the mission before Jim's capture he inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent of minty freshness which leaked out of the brown interior. The internal liquid of the vine a pure, translucent colour.
Curious, that such a little plant, when used correctly, could have such devastating effects to a host's body if ingested. Its functions were purely to stop growth and inhibit hormones or chemicals alike from being released. If consumed over a long period of time it could potentially lead to multiple organ failure and the results were therefore considered to be deadly.
If mass produced this plant could surely render an entire eco system non-functional if it was introduced incorrectly or with malicious intent. He studied a slide under his microscope and marvelled at how similar the cells were to an earth plant.
Pennyroyal, he believed it was called.
The smell of mint clung to the roof of his mouth and illogically he wondered if the replicators could produce a version of tea with this flavouring. He banished the thought from his mind. He permitted himself a small sigh as he once again berated himself for procrastinating. It was illogical to feel apprehensive about conversing with Nyota, however the Captain had surmised that the news and the questions that he would need to ask of her, would not be received well. Surely no one could fault him for wanting to avoid confrontation where possible, especially with his future wife.
He sighed again.
Utterly ridiculous he cursed as he stood up from his chair, he ran his hands down his tunic, frowning as he spotted a loose thread at the hem of his uniform shirt and his finger idly twirled the blue thread around. He realised that he had been standing there for five point three minutes in a complete stupor. He let out a soft growl in irritation.
He took one last calming breath and reaching for his PADD, he sent across a message. He knew Nyota was currently on the bridge and while he disliked the thought of interrupting her work, he found that the need to speak to her was more pressing than her monitoring sub space communications.
From: Commander S'chn T'gai Spock
To: Lieutenant Nyota Uhura
Nyota, may I enquire if you would be amenable to meeting with me for supper tonight in my quarters at 1900 hours?
As he hit send, he made his way back to his quarters intending to shower and refresh himself. Supper would take place in just under an hour's time and he hoped to enter a light state of meditation before her arrival. Reaching his rooms, he stripped his uniform from his body and coming to the conclusion that the Captain was not currently using their shared bathroom, he padded nakedly into the room and stepped into the shower. The sonic waves beat gently at his skin, the feel of water on his body always eliciting responses that he found irksome. He allowed the beating against his body to cleanse him and after six minutes exactly he stepped out of the shower only to stop at the connecting door. He could hear Jim's laughter from the other side, her animated chatter. He could almost envision the smile on her face as she conversed with whoever it was that she was speaking to.
His gut clenched. Who was entertaining her so? Why did she always give so much of herself to others? In truth when she had revealed that she was one of the Tarsus nine, he had had so many conflicting emotions overflowing inside of him that he simply given in and decided not to delve too deeply into the sudden urge to take her into his arms. When she had continued to breach his personal space, going so far as to lean her head on his shoulder he was equally humbled and equally frightened of what may pass between them through his telepathy.
To say that he was indeed surprised to find that he felt nothing but glimmers of her emotions, sadness, affection and trust, seeping through his shields was startling to him. Considering the nature of the topic they were discussing, he was expecting to be hit with a slew of heart-wrenching agony and grief. She must have extraordinary shields in place he surmised as he spent a moment longer listening to her continued laughter.
Curious, how he did not mind that she so often touched him. Perhaps it was because he knew she would never intentionally transmit emotions across to him that he would find uncomfortable. To allow someone into his personal space took an inordinate amount of trust in the other party and he was pleased that this was the case when it pertained to her. He left the bathroom with a mild feeling of unease gnawing at him as he heard a loud un-lady like snort come from her quarters and he huffed as the doors closed behind him. He dressed quickly and seating himself on the floor, he checked his PADD for any incoming messages.
From: Lieutenant Nyota Uhura
To: Commander S'chn T'gai Spock
Hi Love, yes I'll meet you at seven. Is it a special occasion?
He considered her message with a furrowed brow. Could this be a special occasion? Indeed, it was not every day that one asked one's intended to allow the other to impregnate another woman. His right eyebrow did a series of up's and down's while he considered this further. No, perhaps it was unwise to look at the situation that way. It was a special occasion…for him perhaps, or for Jim… however Nyota would not view it as such. He pursed his lips together as he sent back a reply.
From: Commander S'chn T'gai Spock
To: Lieutenant Nyota Uhura
Negative. It is not a special occasion, as such. However, your presence is always appreciated.
He moved the PADD out of his line of sight and folding his limbs accordingly he tried to examine his mind and the emotions that had bested him.
It came as no surprise that his Captain was at the forefront of everything.
''Nyota, punctual as ever I see.'' He stated as she stepped through doors. He had long ago given her free access to enter at her leisure.
''Hi, Love. God, it was such a tiring day on the bridge today. Boring too, without the captain there to bark orders at everyone and generally make a nuisance of herself.'' Uhura snorted and Spock frowned.
''It is her prerogative to as you say 'bark orders' as she is the captain of this vessel.'' He reminded her and she rolled her eyes at him.
''Ugh, I don't want to talk about the Captain today.'' She said wearily and seated herself at the small table opposite his bed; she toed off her boots and stretched her arms high above her head as she yawned.
''I see. Perhaps we should dine first before we discuss the matter I asked you here for.''
''Ah. It's going to be one of those conversations is it?'' she said and she rubbed her eyes.
''I do not understand what you mean to imply by 'one of those'. I merely have a small matter that I would like to converse with you about. Your input is required.''
''Alright… '' she said suspiciously and when he retrieved their meals from the replicator he joined her at the table.
The atmosphere was one where the Captain would fondly state that you could 'cut the tension with a knife'. A fascinating phrase and yet he was hard pressed to describe the situation in any other way. Their conversation consisted of his latest lab experiments and the few oddities she had heard over her communication waves.
Stilted, awkward conversation meant that eating was difficult for him, his earlier apprehension at speaking to her had been dispelled through his brief sojourn into meditation, however now that she was sitting in front of him, the need to as the captain would say to 'get it over with' was warring inside of him.
''Nyota. I trust that we have a relationship that can withstand and overcome any obstacles. I would like to clarify that what I have to say next, what I need to ask of you, is in no way a reflection upon yourself, or my regard for you. You are my intended, therefore what I reveal to you now, here, is a secret that the Captain has asked me to keep. I could not share this with you, until this moment.'' He stated and he heard her intake of breath, watched her arms shake as she clenched her fists together.
''The captain has expressed her desire to start a family. She had been perusing a list of sperm donor candidates, until recently, which she would have then used to impregnate herself by means of artificial insemination.''
''W-what…? I mean - how…how does this relate to you?'' he heard a tremor in her voice and he took a moment to pause.
''Spock. Answer me. What has this got to do with you?!'' her hand shook on top of the table.
''The captain, Nyota, has expressed a desire to have a vulcanoid child.'' He says softly and he hears a small laugh come from her. His head snaps up fully to look at her when she starts wheezing, her laughter making her whole body shake, her hands are clutching at her stomach and she has bent herself over the table.
''Nyo-''
''Absolutely not! No! No fucking way! You cannot be asking me to give you an okay on this? Are you out of your mind?'' She shrieks as her closed fists slam down on the table. He winces as the shrill high pitched sound of her voice penetrates his ears, the rattling of their dinner plates loud in the room.
''Nyot-''
''Is this because I can't have children? Why you anyway? Why the fuck does she want my fiancées baby? Can't she just have a human baby? What the fuck?!'' she growls as she pushes herself away from the table, reaching down to put her boots back on.
''Where are you going Nyota?'' he queries in irritation as she stands and heads to the bathroom door.
''Isn't obvious? I have a captain to kick the shit out of!'' she yells and he stands quickly from the table, chair falling to the floor as he grabs her arm and pulls her roughly back into the middle of the room, releasing her when she gives a frustrated scream at him.
''Nyota!'' he raises his voice and she jumps, never having heard him shout before.
''I had wished to discuss this calmly with you, in a rational and logical manner. There is no logical reason that I can find to deny her this child. You and I are unable to have children together, yes, but that is not the reason why I have chosen to make this decision! The captain would have asked my counterpart for his assistance however; since we share the same DNA she would essentially still be having my child! As humans would say 'this is the lesser of two evils'.'' He huffed out, unaccustomed to experiencing anger in her presence.
''I don't care Spock! I don't care about what Jim wants. She can go fuck a thousand Vulcans and have their children… why does she want one with mine!?'' she spat at him and he fumed internally at the realisation that Nyota cared nothing about his captain or how he felt about his friend.
''You do not care? Then why is this matter even being discussed? If you do not care that a f-friend of mine needs my help, your captain, the woman who died for yours and the crew's, no, the entire galaxies safety, then I see no reason to ask your permission for this at all. You are obviously not the woman I thought you were if you cannot even take a moment to consider this.'' He growled at her, his voice dripping with acid.
''I knew this was going to happen. I knew you would leave me for her. Fuck destiny I said all those years ago, now look at it coming back to bite me in the ass!'' she hissed as she wrapped her arms around herself and he lifted a brow in confusion.
''I do not know what it is that you speak of. I have never mentioned the words destiny, nor do I believe in them. I am not, contrary to your beliefs, leaving you or ending our romantic involvement to take on a new one with the Captain. Had that been my intention, I would have simply terminated our relationship, as it is not logical to stay with someone when you are enamoured with another!''
''But you want to give her a child!'' she threw her hands in the air.
''Affirmative.''
''Do you have any idea how much that hurts to hear you say?'' she whispered and he balked when he saw her tears form in the corners of her eyes.
''Nyota, I do not wish to ever hurt you.''
She stepped back from him and dropped her arms, her nails scraping the insides of her palms. He smelled the blood the crescent moons of her fingernails caused.
''Will you end our relationship if I don't agree to this?''
''Negative.'' He whispered, an onset of exhaustion making itself known in the form of a headache.
''But you will resent me for this won't you? If I say no?''
''I… I… will not.''
''Liar.''
''Nyota, ashayam… please.'' He intoned, weary beyond belief at that moment.
''Fine.''
''I beg your pardon?''
''Fine. Go ahead. Do what you want.'' She hissed.
''Please clarify your statement. Are you agreeing to me assisting the captain in having a vulcanoid child?'' he asked, not daring to breathe for fear that the euphoria he was currently feeling would escape with his next breath or Surak forbid, in the form of a smile on his face.
''Sure. Why the fuck not. If you can be this unreasonable, by asking this of me, I think I'm allowed to be as equally unreasonable. I have one thing to ask you in return.''
''Very well. I will consider your request, as I have asked you to consider mine.''
''If you do manage to get her pregnant then I feel I am justified in asking that when that time comes, you and I resign our posts from the Enterprise and make a new life together somewhere else.''
The breath he had been holding released from his lungs, in a similar way to someone punching him in the solar plexus.
Surak … are all women this illogical?