A/N Ok so I really had a tough time deciding if I wanted to let Bo and Lauren get together at this point in the book or not. There is a lot going on for Bo and I thought it might be to much for her to handle but in the end I said what the hell, why not. So I hope you enjoy. Coming up in the next few chapters, Bo is going to find out a lot of secrets that have been kept from her so keep reading. Thanks!

Chapter 9

Bo

I got up and walked over to where she sat and stood directly in front of her. She looked up at me with a confused look. I didn't say anything, I just held out my hand, hoping she would take it. When she did, I pulled her up and instantly took her in my arms. I didn't really have any idea what I was doing but it just felt right. I felt calm and safe and I hoped that I could make her feel the same way. After a few seconds, she pulled away just enough so that she could look me in the eyes and I saw that she now had tears streaming down her cheeks. I didn't know what to do or say. So I simply wiped her tears away with my thumb while staring deep into her eyes.

When I did find my voice, I tried to calm her. "Shh, doc it's ok. Whatever it is, it's ok."

She finally broke her silence saying, through her tears, "No, Bo it's not ok! It is all my fault! I'm so sorry, I never should have left. Everything you have been through is all my fault. I should have been there to protect you and Dyson!" Then she broke down again, only this time sobbing uncontrollably and I didn't know what to do. I had no clue what she was talking about and right now I didn't care. I didn't like seeing her upset like this! I can't just stand here and do nothing. I pulled her into a tight embrace and just held her while she cried.

All I could think about in think about in this moment is that having her in my arms felt right. I don't know how to explain it but it felt like this is where I was supposed to be! I didn't care about age or what other people would think, I just want to have her in my arms, forever. As she seemed to get control of her emotions, I loosened my grip enough so that I could look into her beautiful brown eyes. As I looked at her, she no longer looked like the strong, confident doctor that I knew. She looked beaten and broken and I couldn't take it!

I slowly closed the distance between us, until our foreheads met and said the one thing that I had been trying not to, "I know there are so many reasons against us but right now the only thing I can think about is you. In fact, ever since I woke up in your hospital that day, the only thing I think about is you. I have never felt this way and I can't control it and it scares me more than anything you have told me or still have to tell me. I don't know what happened back then but from what I know about you, there is no possible way that it was your fault. The only person responsible is Malachi and him alone. Whatever story you need to tell me can wait, right now all I want to do is be here with you and do this…" I quickly finish closing the space between us before she can say anything to make me lose my nerve and press my lips to hers. The kiss is gentle and full of all the emotions I have been feeling these last few weeks. In this kiss I hope to convince the doc of so many things; it wasn't her fault what happened to me, I truly care for her and right now I hope to show her how much and finally, everything will work out somehow.

I move my tongue across her lips slowly asking for permission to deepen the kiss but terrified that she is going to pull away. I had a million thoughts running through by head but the only thing that mattered in this moment was us, right here right now. She slowly opened up and allowed me in and she returned the kiss with what I could only describe as a want or need. It was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced in my life. The electrical shock that I felt every time we touched, was magnified tenfold. As quickly as it started it ended.

She did exactly what I expected her to, but hoped she wouldn't. She pulled away! I looked at her and could see her shutting down her emotions just like she did at the hospital the day she took out my stitches. I couldn't take it. I quickly pulled away from her grasp and ran for the door. I couldn't stay here any longer, I couldn't breathe. I was going to lose it and I didn't want anyone to see me as weak. If you are weak you will lose, if you lose you most likely die. I wish I had just died in the ring! At least then I would never have had to feel these emotions. I reached for the door but somehow she got there first. She was between me and my freedom. I was feeling so many different things right now, I didn't know what to do. I was embarrassed that she had pulled away and angry because I had let her become my weakness. There were just too many emotions flooding through me at once and I didn't want to show weakness to anyone, especially not her.

I had to get out of here and quick! "Get out of my way, I need to get some air!"

"No! What you are attempting to do is run, which is what you always do when it comes down to dealing with emotions that you are not used to."

"Look doc, right now I don't care what you think right now, just get the fuck out of my way!"

"Or what? You going to fight me, that's what you are used to doing if running isn't an option, right?"

"Look doc, you wanted me to share what I was feeling for you so I did. Then, for some stupid reason, I thought I would show you, as well, and you pulled away. How am I supposed to feel? I'll tell you what I feel, rejected and angry. Now get out of the way!"

"Do whatever you need to do but you aren't walking out that door until we get things settled!"

"Look, we have both seen firsthand what happens when I get angry so please just let me leave and blow off some steam."

"No, you need to learn how to talk things through instead of running or fighting and now is as good a time as any to learn."

"I would prefer not to have to go through you, but I am leaving! So please just get out of my way."

"Bo, I said no and I mean it. We need to talk now more than ever."

"If this is the way it has to be, so be it. Just know that whatever happens is on you."

I grab her by the shoulders to shove her out of the way, surprisingly, she didn't budge! I thought maybe I was taking it easy on her on a subconscious level, so the next time I used more force but had the same result. This was just making me angrier! I could feel the anger starting to boil in the pit of my stomach, just like it did with Ben. I know that I won't be able to control the monster inside for much longer. I need to get out of here before I do something that I will regret. I take a couple of steps back to get a little running room, then run at her like a football player trying to tackle the QB. She still didn't even move. This is getting ridiculous now, I can't figure out how she is doing this but I can feel the monster taking over and there is nothing I can do now to stop it.

I turn and walk a few steps away, the quickly turn taking a running start and launch a flying superman punch that land squarely on her right temple. This staggers her and I quickly follow it up with a left uppercut that finds its' mark right under her chin. This drops her to the ground but now the monster has completely taken over and I can't stop it. All I can see is Mendez, so as she starts to get up I catch her with a hard kick to the ribs. This picks her up off the floor a bit and she lands on her back. I quickly mount her a throw and elbow to her forehead which opens up a cut. Before I can throw the next one she bucks me off and gets me in a bear hug from behind.

She begins to whisper in my ear for me to calm down, but I don't understand what is happening. I let my body relax enough so that she thinks it's over. When she loosens her grip, I spin around in her arms. Once I am facing her she screams my name trying to get my attention. That's when I see the blood running down her face and realize that it's the doc and not Mendez.

As the adrenaline leaves my body I am able to reign in the monster. I can't believe I've hit her again. I am mortified. Luckily I was the closest to the door, so I make a run for it. Just as I grab the door knob, she grabs me from behind in another bear hug. I immediately scream for her to let me go be she doesn't. She just holds me tighter and whispers in my ear for me to calm down but I can't. I begin to cry, not only did I kiss her, I hurt her again. What kind of monster am I?

I scream at her through my tears, "Please just let me go! I have to get out of here before I do something else I can't control. I don't know what is wrong with me."

She whispers in my ear again to calm down, take a few deep breaths, we will get through this, together."

"Doc you just don't get it, I don't know how to fit into this world. All I know is how to fight. All these emotions the social interactions are too confusing and downright terrifying. I wish I would have just died in the ring!"

The doc spun me around so fast that I didn't have time to react. She held me by my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes, "Bo, I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again! Understood? I couldn't let you die in there, especially since it was my fault you were there to begin with. I had to save you and Dyson, I only wish I could have done it sooner."

I just stand there looking into her beautiful hazel eyes more confused than ever, but even after everything that just happened, all I could think about was kissing her. What is wrong with me? It's then that I notice she is bleeding and it is because I hit her, again.

I reach up and wipe the blood with my thumb and let my hand lingered a little longer than I should and mumbled, "I'm sorry, doc all I seem to do is screw up around you."

I guess she heard me because she leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips before saying, "Its ok I forgive you."

Before she can pull away from me completely I grab her face and pull her into another deep emotion filled kiss. I don't know what is going on with me but the one thing I do know is that I never want to let the doc go. She feels so right in my arms. As I finally need air to breath, I rest my forehead on hers and say, "Crap doc, I'm really sorry for everything. I didn't know it was you, all I saw was that last fight replaying in my head and once the monster takes over it is hard to get it under control."

"It is ok Bo, I know you would never hurt me on purpose."

"That's just it doc, it might not be on purpose but I still hurt you and had no idea that I was doing it."

"We can talk about that later, how about we go get cleaned up and have that talk. What do you say?"

"I think I would just prefer to go home. This has all been a bit much for me to handle right now, or maybe ever."

"Bo, leaving is not an option but we don't have to talk about your past, just know that I am here for you when you are ready?"

"Ok doc, let's get you patched up and then see what's on TV. Oh, by the way, for what it's worth I am really sorry."

She gets this evil smirk and says, "For what, beating me up or kissing me?"

"I will never be sorry for kissing you, it was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced, but I will never forgive myself for hitting you."

"It's ok, Bo, I know you would never hurt me on purpose, but the fact that you had another flash back does worry me. You seem to have a very short fuse lately that seems to be getting shorter. We need to get control of that before you seriously injure or even kill someone."

"I know doc, all these new emotions seem to really be setting me off. It's like I have a monster inside me just waiting to get out and it is getting harder for me to control."

"I really think you need to see someone about this before it really gets out of control."

"The only problem is that I really don't like people and I definitely don't want to talk to some stranger, who is going to judge me about feelings that I don't understand. Can't I just talk to you? I actually like you and pretty comfortable talking to you."

"I want you to know that I'm glad you feel that way and you can always talk to me about anything but I really think you need to see someone more qualified and less emotionally involved than me about this."

"Ok doc, for you, I will do anything so if you say I need it than I will do it but…"

She gives me a questioning look before asking, "But what, Bo?"

"Never mind, it's stupid. Let's just get you cleaned up and watch some TV or something."

"No Bo, you just said you were comfortable talking to me, so what is it?"

"I just need to know… can there ever be anything more between us?"

"What exactly do you mean by more, more what?"

"Lauren, don't make this harder on me than it already is. You know what I mean! I know that I'm new to emotions and social interactions but there is something that draws me to you and every time we touch there is like the electrical charge, which makes me want to kiss you and so much more. I understand the reasons why we can't now but is there any chance that in the future… just forget it. I'm doing nothing but rambling. Let's just get you cleaned up."

I head to the bathroom to get the first aid kit, with the hope that we can just relax and watch TV together and forget about the last hour or so. As I turn to walk away, I felt her hand on my shoulder.

I turn to look at her, she gives me that thousand watt smile and says, "Bo, the timing for us is just not right, for now, but maybe in a few years after you finish college and have explored, not only your feelings but the world, then we will see what happens. Until then I will always be here for you."

Then she leaned in and kissed me like I have never been kissed before. The kiss was soft, slow and said more to me than her words ever could. I knew in that moment she held the same feelings towards me as I did her! It was just as hard for her as it was me, not to take things further, but at the same time it also felt like a goodbye kiss and I couldn't help but feel that our relationship was about to change drastically, and I wasn't going to like it one bit. When the kiss ended, she had a sadness in her eyes that confirmed what I was feeling, something was about to change.

Before I have time to think, I say, "Hey doc, remember earlier tonight when you said what happens here tonight stays between us?"

"Yes, what are you thinking, Bo?"

I give her a devious smile, "Oh nothing much doc, just promise to go with it. I kind of have a feeling you have something you aren't quite ready to tell me and I have an even bigger feeling that I'm not going to like it. So humor me ok? No one else needs to know and if it never happens again so be it. I just need to know what I will be missing."

"Bo, you aren't really making much sense!"

"I know that doc but it's just the way I feel all the time confused and frustrated because I don't know what to do with all the emotions I am feeling but right now I am just going to go with what my heart wants and I hope that you will allow it."

"Bo…I'm not sure exactly what you are saying but…"

I cut her off mid-sentence when I capture her lips in another kiss. This time as I kiss her, I lift her up and much to my surprise she immediately wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I don't think, I just react to what I am feeling. I carry her down the hall to her bed room and lower her down on the bed. Only then do I break from our kiss.

As I stand there looking down on her, I can only think one thing and that is how much I need her right now. Ok maybe two things, will she let this happen or will she stop me but there is only one way to find out.

So I ask, "Lauren, I know you have told me why we shouldn't but…I just need to know what it feels like to make love to you. Will you let me?"

She looks at me with dark hazel eyes, darker than I have ever seen them before. "Bo, I just don't think we should…"

"But I can tell you want it just as much as I do, so why can't we just have this one night for ourselves and then worry about everything else in the morning? It's like you said everything we do here tonight stays between us, no one will find out." I lean down and kiss her again.

"Bo…we really shouldn't…" she says as I began kissing her neck and then nibbling her ear lobe. She lets out a low growl and says, "Oh the hell with it!" and she flips me onto the bed with such quickness that she is on top of me before I even know what's happening.

I laugh and say, "Does this mean I win?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much, Bo?"

"Well sure. Dyson says it all the time."

"So how about we talk less and do more of this…" she says as she kisses me again.

I stutter, "Ok but wait doc there is one more thing I need to tell you."

"Can't it wait until later?"

"Well not really."

"What?"

"I…uh well I have um this is my first time."

She stops what she is doing and looks at me with her amazing smile and says, "Bo, it is ok. Just do what comes natural and stop me if you get uncomfortable or if something doesn't feel good. Are you sure this is what you want because if we go much further I won't be able to stop myself."

"Oh I'm absolutely sure I want this. I just don't want to do anything wrong."

"It will be fine just do what feels right and don't do anything you don't want to and you can always tell me to stop. I want you to enjoy this as much as I am going to. Now stop talking unless you want to stop."

She then pulled me up to a sitting position so that she could pull my shirt over my head. Once that was out of the way she just sat there for a second and stared at me then mumbled something that sounded like, wow what an amazing body you have. I decided to follow her lead and removed her shirt. As I sit there looking at her amazing body, I find myself mesmerized by it. Even Jay's amazing six pack is nothing compared to the one I see in front of me right now. There is just something different about it on a women. I have to let my fingers explore it. Her skin is so soft and her muscles so tight. I have that burning sensation below my waist and I can feel the wetness soaking through my boxer shorts. I think to myself I hope these feelings are normal.

Lauren smiles as I continue to slowly rake my fingers over her abs. I try to get up the nerve to remove her bra but instead, I start to kiss her neck slowly. I want this to last forever and I want to be able to remember every touch, kiss and feel that I can because I don't know if it will ever happen again. As I kiss her neck, she pulls me in close and kisses me deeply as she breaks the kiss she pulls my sports bra over my head and quickly tosses it on the floor. Again she pauses to enjoy the view. Now I am getting a little nervous, the more of my clothes she removes the more nervous I get. I flop back onto the bed. She tilts her head and looks at me with a questioning look.

"Bo, what's wrong? Do you want to stop?"

"No, no definitely not. It's just…I don't know what it is. I'm definitely enjoying myself but I'm nervous you aren't going to like what you see and…"

She interrupts me, "Bo there is nothing to be nervous about especially that. You have an amazing body that takes my breath away when I look at you. Would it make you feel better if I were to get naked first?"

"I don't know doc, there are a lot of things running through my head…"

"That is the problem, Bo. Don't think feel."

"Ok!"

She then reaches around and unsnaps her bra and throws it on the floor to land near mine. As she does, she gets off the bed and slips out of her shorts and panties in one fluid movement. I can't help but think how graceful her movements are. As she stands there in front of me completely naked, there is a vulnerability in her eyes I can't resist. My eyes travel from her face to her collar bone, delicate in the semi-darkness of her room, then to her breasts. Without anything on the sit a little lower, more natural, less close together, each so perfect and molded to her form. I don't linger to long, just enough for her to see how beautiful she is to me. It's her eyes I want to see and my hands and lips can do the rest.

As she stands there, I too get off the bed but only to finish undressing so that we are standing in front of one another with nothing left between us. I can't take it any longer. I step towards her needing to feel her. I gentle grip her face and pull it toward me and kiss her deeply, a low moan escapes one of our mouths and I'm really not sure whose. She pushes me back on the bed and once again she is on top of me, only this time there are no clothes to get in the way.

She uses her right thigh to spread my legs apart and moves her knee up to my core. I gasp as the connection is made. It feels amazing. She looks deep into my eyes and smiles brightly as she leans down to kiss my neck. As she does, she whispers into my ear are you ok? I can't speak so I just nod. She chuckles until I grab her cheeks with my hands and pull her down to allow for more pressure to be put on my core while I kiss her. She begins to kiss my neck and down to my collarbone. I think I am going to explode. Again I grab her cheeks and pull her toward me so that I can kiss her.

She laughs, "Slow down Bo let me show you the way."

"I can't! I need to feel you, I need…I don't know what I need…"

Again she chuckles, "I know what you need just relax. I want you to enjoy your first time, we have all night."

She leans down and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips and smiles, then proceeds to kiss her way down my collarbone to my right breast. She then circles my nipple with her tongue before capturing my hardened bud between her lips. She moves on kissing my chest between my boobs taking my left one in between her teeth before whisking it a few times with her tongue.

I couldn't take not touching her so I reached down with my hands and took her firm, perfect breasts kneading them and pinching them until she moaned as they became rigid with her desire. My action seemed to spur her on. She moved lower and lower kissing as she went until she hovered above my moist nest of hair between my thighs.

Before going any further south she looked deep into my eyes and ask, "Bo are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes! Oh lord doc, you can do anything you want to me as long as you don't stop!"

She chuckled and said, "You smell amazing!" and then lowered her mouth to the inside of my right thigh where she placed some feather light kisses and then slowly moved to the other side and did the same before moving to my very wet center. She spreads my outer lips with her fingers before giving me a nice long slow lick. I involuntarily raise my hips looking for more contact. She glances up at me and smiles as she takes hold of my hips to keep me from moving.

All I can think is that I never want this to end, then she begins to slowly circle my sweet spot with her tongue and I lose all ability to think. All I can do is grip the sheets into my fists and enjoy her touch. My hips again decide to move on their own but she takes her left arm and lays it across my waist with firm pressure to keep me still while using her right hand to slowly massage my hardened, erect nipple.

Her magical tongue then hones in on my swollen sweet spot. She slowly circles it and then teases it. I release the sheets and grab onto her head to try get more contact but it backfires. She pauses, I look down to see what is wrong and when I do she is smiling at me. Then she takes her finger and slowly guides it though my inner lips and stops when she gets right to the entrance to my honey pot. I growl, giving my approval to enter and she does.

As she enters, she drops back down to my very erect bean and sucks it between her lips and flicks it with her amazing tongue all while keeping a nice slow rhythm with her finger. I feel like I am going to explode. All I can do is surrender to her touch while panting and holding on for as long as I can. My hips start bucking by themselves asking for her to go faster, she can barely hold me down my need is so great. Her tongue stops its assault on my nub but she continues her penetration.

She looks up at me and all I can do is growl and say, "Oh god don't stop, please Lauren, I need to feel you, all of you!"

She answers by continuing her rhythm of short licks and slow long penetrating thrusts. As I feel myself begin to tighten around her finger, she begins to move her kisses up my tight abs to my collarbone, neck and finally my lips. As our lips touch, she inserts a second finger and makes a come here motion with them. She deepens the kiss while continuing with this motion along with using her thumb to massage my nub. My stomach begins to convulse as I buck wildly, she can no longer hold me down but matches my movements with her thrusts while kissing me with such desire. I can't hold out any longer I yell out her name and grab on to her butt cheeks, as I tighten completely around her fingers. As I begin to see stars then fireworks my fingers dig into her back as I try and hold on as long as I can to this amazing feeling. Just as I think I might pass out something inside of me explodes. I fling my head back into the pillow and raise my hips high and scream. She continues using her fingers to massage my insides and draw out this amazing feeling before kissing me tenderly while slowly extracting her fingers from my sweet honey pot.

I open my eyes to see her staring and smiling down at me. She is propped up with her head on her hand while she drags her fingers slowly across my abs. I can't speak for a moment, all I can do is look at her and smile. As we lay there she asks, "Are you ok?"

It takes me a minute to find my voice and her smile is replaced with a worried look. Finally I find my voice, "I am more than ok, I'm great. Lauren that was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you."

"Bo you don't have to thank me, I'm just glad you enjoyed it."

"How could I not, it was amazing."

She begins to laugh and gives me a chaste kiss. I snuggle in close as she lays on her back. I rest my head on her shoulder and she absently runs her fingers ever so lightly up and down my back. We lay in silence for a few minutes. I begin tentatively running my finger ever so lightly around her perfect breast. I make large circles at first around her entire pert buds. Her breathing begins to pick up, so I continue making smaller and smaller circles until I am circling her hardened nipple. She gasps as I roll it between my thumb and finger before giving it a little pinch. She rolls her head to look at me and I reach up and kiss her softly at first then it becomes needier. As we kiss I allow my hand to roam over her body, slowly exploring everything within reach. As my fingers circle her belly button, she pulls away from the kiss.

She takes my roaming hand in hers while looking deeply into my eyes, "Bo you don't have to…"

I interrupt her, "But I want…oh you don't want me to?"

"Oh god yes, I definitely want you to but don't feel like you have to. Your first time can be a bit overwhelming and I want you to be comfortable and not feel like you have to…"

"Lauren, has anyone ever told you that you worry too much," I say with a smile.

"I have heard that a time or two."

"I would really like to…if that's ok with you."

She smiles, "I would really like that as long as you are comfortable with it. Don't feel like you have to do anything."

"Ok doc, although you might have to talk me through some of it. I want to make you feel like you made me feel."

"Bo just go with what feels natural," with that she leaned in to kiss me.

We spent the entire night exploring and learning one another's bodies until we fell asleep in each other's arms around three in the morning. When I woke up, I reached over to find the bed empty. I rolled over and saw a light coming from a crack in the bathroom door. I laid there for a minute reminiscing about last night when I heard the doc's voice whispering to someone. I try to hear what is being said but can't, so I get up and walk over to the door. I still can't hear because it sounds as if she has started the shower.

I gentle knock on the door and say, "Doc, is everything ok?"

She opens the door more and that is when I realize she is still butt naked and looks even more amazing today than she did last night. As I stand there looking over her amazing body, she begins to laugh. I quickly look away and begin to stutter, "Uh…um sorry, doc. I heard you talking and just wanted to make sure everything was ok."

"I'm fine Bo, I had a call from one of my contacts in Africa and I didn't want to wake you. You looked so adorable laying there asleep."

"Oh…ok."

"How about you let me grab a quick shower and I will tell you the story I was supposed to tell you last night while we make breakfast?"

"Sure that sounds good. Do you mind if I watch TV until you finish?"

"No go right ahead, Bo. You don't have to ask, just make yourself at home."

"Thanks."

As she turns to walk away, I notice that she has an amazing tattoo covering the majority of her back. I will have to ask her about it sometime for now I just head back to the bed and flip the channels until it's my turn in the shower.