Wow. It has been a realllyyyy long time since I last updated this story. As I was re-reading this story the other day, a few ideas popped into my head about what more I could do with this story as I really really liked this storyline. So I've written this so far. I will continue to write until I think this story is done. I hope someone reads this and enjoys it. Please let me know what you think in the reviews and if you have any ideas please feel free to let me know.
Disclaimer- I only own my OC.
"Payten! Rise and shine breakfast is ready!" Carolyn Shepherd shouted from the bottom of the stairs that led up to Amelia's old room where Payten had been staying.
Rolling over to check the time on her phone, Payten saw that it was only half past six. Groaning she stretched under the duvet and let out an audible yawn. She didn't manage to get much sleep as it seemed like her son would rather kick her ribs throughout the night than let her rest. Sitting up in bed, she immediately texted Josh and wished him a good day. She could hear her name being called once more by her grandmother and made her way slowly down into the kitchen.
"You're quite the sleepy-head aren't ya?" Carolyn teased.
Yawning, "Maybe if I was actually allowed to sleep at night, I wouldn't be so tired." Payten stated rubbing her hand around her belly.
Carolyn laughed, "Your father never slept much during the night when I was pregnant with him either. I would try to drink ice-cold water to settle him down but that would only get me about a thousand kicks in the bladder instead."
Carolyn finished flipping the last few pancakes and turned off the stove before heading to the dining table where Payten was patiently waiting. The two enjoyed eating their breakfast together in a comfortable silence.
"How are things with you besides being pregnant? How is work? Are you planning on returning to school once bub is born? Are you still involved with the father?" Carolyn asked.
"Well.. I'm not gonna lie, things haven't been so great at home lately. With mom and dad at least. Work is good, I really enjoy making my own money and the responsibilities that come with working. If I'm being honest, I've never had anything to be responsible for before. I'm most likely going to return to school when baby is around six months I hope, Mom and Dad said they will help with sorting daycare, Aunt Amelia and Owen have offered their services as well." Payten stated.
"I'm sure they would love to have him as much as possible, I was the same with you." Carolyn said stroking Payten's hand from across the table.
"And Josh, the baby's father and I, are doing really well. He's working at the hospital as an orderly at the moment. He's got his own place and has really stepped up since he found out we were going to be parents." She told her grandmother proudly.
"That is great news sweetheart, I hope you know honey that I am truly proud of you. It doesn't matter how old you are or what you have or haven't done yet, you will be an amazing mother. With everything that you have been through already and all the challenges you have overcome, you have still put that baby first. That already tells me the kind of mother you are and will be." Carolyn smiled.
For the first time in a long time Payten felt overcome with emotion, "I.. Thank you. I really needed to hear that."
"It is nothing but the truth, dear. As for your mother and father, they will overcome their obstacles to I'm sure. Those two have been with each other through hell and back. I don't know if there's much they haven't been through together actually. There's no denying your mother and I haven't always seen things eye to eye, but she is one hell of a woman. The only woman for my son." Carolyn assured.
"I know. They just need time alone to work things out and I don't help being a nuisance to them all the time." Payten said.
"I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with anything you've done young lady. You can always live with me you know?" Carolyn winked.
"I'll think about it nana," Payten giggled.
"Let's get these dishes done before we head out for the day huh? Liz will be here in about half an hour to pick us up!" Carolyn said grabbing theirs plates from the table as Payten followed her over to the sink.
Back in Seattle
A couple of months had passed since Payten returned home from her trip to New York. Derek and Addison were doing a lot better after Payten's return as Derek was working towards dealing with his depression and Addison was doing her best to support him. Unfortunately, this meant keeping talks of their unborn child to a minimum in order not to worsen their relationship further. Addison was progressing smoothly in her pregnancy however, and was around 28 weeks gestation. It would most likely be at their next scan that they would find out the baby's gender as Addison was hoping Derek would eventually come around and join her at one of her ultrasound appointments.
Payten and Josh on the other hand were still holding strong and had recently overcome an incident involving Josh's drug addiction. He had briefly relapsed while hanging out with a few of his old friends. He immediately checked himself into a rehabilitation center, but the damage had already been done to his relationship with Payten. She understood his challenges but that didn't stop her from feeling devastated by his actions. As hard as it was for her to accept and move past his mistake, she knew if he ever made the same mistake twice, she would need to put herself and their son first, which would mean leaving Josh and ending their relationship. Drugs suck.
Amelia was a great rock for Payten to lean on during this time which brought the pair even closer. Amelia had confided in Payten about her and Owen trying to conceive a baby. The couple had held a very small ceremony at the courthouse that consisted of Derek, Payten, Josh, Meredith and Alex and were married after their 3 month engagement. Their marriage had been smooth sailing so far but Amelia seemed to never escape drama for long. Addison and Amelia were still not on speaking terms and didn't give one another any attention. Neither of them planned on reconciling in the near future either.
Payten, Derek and Josh had set up all the furniture in the nursery and Payten was spending a lot of time getting everything ready for his arrival. There wasn't much longer to go and the overwhelming feeling of excitement meant that she was obsessing over every detail and design when it came to his nursery. As Payten was nearing the end of her third trimester, she felt as though everything needed to be perfect. She had worked really hard to make sure everything that the baby needed, he had. The time was just around the corner that she would bring him into the world which meant everything had to be ready for his arrival.
Present-
"Hey, you got a minute to talk?" Owen said after chasing Amelia down in the hallway.
"Owen, there's nothing to talk about." She shrugged.
"But you love to talk, and you're not talking about this at all." Owen joked.
"Hear my words and just take them at face value." Amelia exclaimed mildly annoyed.
"And I know I wouldn't mind talking." Owen admitted.
"I am fine," Amelia promised although she knew it was a lie.
"It's j-just Why the rush, you know?" She chuckled.
"What?" Owen asked puzzled.
"Well, I mean, w-we were barely engaged, and now we're barely married, and we're already trying for kids? Why all the pressure? Let's just be us for a minute. You know, enjoy us and feel what it's like to be two people in a marriage, newlyweds, before we add to it, right?" Amelia explained.
"If, um.. If that's what you want. Great. I just wish you would've told me sooner," Owen stated clearly upset and slightly angry.
"I didn't know before.." Amelia said trailing off.
"I just wish we could talk about this. Properly. Just sit down and have a conversation. I feel as if I just can't get through to you. Can we please just talk?" Owen said, his voice rising slightly.
"I don't want to talk to you, Owen. I don't know how much clearer I can make it for you. I don't want to fucking talk!" Amelia snapped back, she could see the hurt and devastation on his face. She had really hurt him and it truly wasn't his fault.
Without another word Owen stormed away defeated, Amelia let out a deep breath and turned the corner of the corridor into the attendings lounge before breaking down in tears. Already inside, Alex got up from the couch in confusion and made his way over to where Amelia was now slumped on the floor in front of the door.
"Are… you okay?" He questioned still puzzled by the abrupt ordeal.
"I had a baby. A baby boy. I had a son." Amelia whimpered wiping the tears from her cheeks and looking up at Alex.
"Had?" He asked.
"When I was living in L.A., um, he was born with anencephaly but without a brain. So he lived for, um.. 43 minutes. And I held him. I got to hold him. And then it was time. He donated all of his organs. And then I let him go. And it almost killed me." She confessed still weeping quietly.
"I didn't know." Alex stated sympathetically.
"No, you wouldn't. Um.. I never told my family. Not Derek, not Addison. No one. I haven't told Owen all of it. And I don't think I can. He wants a family so bad. How do I tell him that. He won't look at me the same way." She said looking up at him.
"Are you kidding?" Alex chuckled.
"He's gonna hate me." She stated.
"I don't think so. It's Hunt." He shrugged.
Sighing with a sniff, "I took a pregnancy test last night. I, um I thought I might.. and, uh, as I sat there waiting for the result, I just watched him get more and more excited. He wanted it so badly. And the longer I sat there, the more I felt like I was dying. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. And when that stick was negative, Owen's heart broke. And I was so relieved. I could breathe again."
Sniffing again she looked up at Alex, "See. Now look me in the eye and tell me that he won't hate me."
Derek's POV-
Finishing up work for the day, Derek grabbed his lab coat off the hook and made his way towards the OB/GYN unit of the hospital. He decided that it was time he stepped up and faced the reality that in the next few months he would be having another child of his own. Walking through the empty halls he ran into Meredith Grey.
"Hey, Derek." Meredith said sheepishly.
"Meredith, How are things?" He responded nicely.
"Good. I'm really good. And you?" She smiled.
"I'm just on the way to Addison's ultrasound." He said unenthusiastically.
"Don't look to excited. Congratulations by the way.. That's …great news." She said.
"Yeah.. Thank you. I should get going. It was nice to catch up. Maybe we could grab a coffee sometime?" He said genuinely.
"Yeah. Maybe.. It was good to see you anyway Derek. Have a nice time.. At the uh.., ultrasound.." She stuttered.
Smiling, Derek made the rest of the short trip to the ward and when he entered the room, Addison was already lying on the exam table waiting for Robbins. Payten sat in the corner of the room rubbing her belly. Walking straight over to his daughter, he placed a soft peck on the top of her head before making his way to his wife's bedside. He immediately grabbed her hand and also gave her a quick kiss.
"Where were you? I thought you might miss it." Addison questioned him.
'"I finished surgery half an hour ago and had a bunch of paperwork to finish. I rushed over as soon as I could." He said defensively.
"Ok I was just saying, I could've rescheduled if you were busy.. that's all." She said simply.
"I'm not busy, Addison. Where is Arizona?" He asked, turning the watch on his wrist to check the time.
"She's just gone to get some more gel, she should be back in a minute." Payten quipped.
Just then Arizona Robbins walked through the door with a bottle of gel in hand. She made her way over to the other side of Addison's bed where the equipment was ready and waiting.
"I'll just get you to pull your shirt up a bit and we'll get started. Nice of you to join us Derek." She said as Addison followed her instructions and Payten made her way over to the monitor.
Within a few minutes the growing baby appeared on the screen. Arizona went through the usual ultrasound protocol of measuring the baby's growth and development. Once she had finished all the important things she needed to do, she asked the couple whether or not they would like to find out the baby's gender to which the couple readily agreed.
"Well.. It looks to me like you will be having another little girl! Congratulations!" Arizona exclaimed happily.
Derek and Addison looked at each other in awe. For the first time since Addison announced she was pregnant, Derek felt truly happy. Payten let out a hoorah! A little sister! She couldn't wait for her son to be here and have a best friend that would be with him for life.
"We're having a precious little girl." Addison whispered.
"Don't you mean 'another' precious little girl?" Payten joked.
Derek leaned in and kissed Addison's soft lips before turning towards Payten, "That's exactly what she meant," He said.
The trio quickly got ready to leave the room as the appointment came to an end. Hand in hand Derek and Addison walked out feeling better than ever. Payten informed the pair that instead of riding home with them she would be meeting up with Amelia for lunch and a miniature shopping spree.
Payten made her way into the hospital cafeteria and quickly found Amelia sitting with her close friends, Meredith and Alex and also a new face Maggie Pierce who was Meredith's sister. She made her over to the table and noticed that they all seemed to be comforting Amelia. Before they realised the girl was standing at the table the group was deep in conversation.
"I know I have to talk to him, and I will. But I haven't yet, so you don't have to look at me like that." Amelia said to Meredith.
"I was just looking at my phone." Meredith shrugged but it was clear she wasn't convinced.
"Everything;s fine with me and Owen." Amelia snapped.
"Oh, yeah, it sounds great." Alex chimed in.
"It's absolutely fine!. We're gonna be married for a long time, so the baby conversation can just sit on the back burner for a while, and it'll be fine because it.. it's fine." Amelia rambled on.
"You know, you just said, "It's fine," a lot of times." Meredith noted.
"And I don't mean to bring it up again but, after the screaming match in the hallway earlier, you need to have that chat with him soon." Alex said genuinely concerned.
Amelia began to become overwhelmed and upset about where the conversation was going and the group could tell she didn't know what to say next. Tears began to well in her eyes and she let out a short sigh.
"I don't know what to say.. Where to… begin." She let out sounding broken.
Meredith and Maggie both leaned in to hug her before the group noticed Payten's arrival, Amelia sat up abit and wiped the residue from her face.
"Umm.. I'm sorry. I'll just go," Payten apologised.
Maggie gently grabbed Payten's forearm and smiled, "It's okay, you stay.. We were just leaving."
The three attendings gathered their things quickly before saying their goodbyes and well-wishes to Amelia and leaving the pair to themselves.
"Are you ok, Amei?" Payten said above a whisper once her friends had left, "Is something going on with you and Owen?" she suggested.
"Uhhh." Amelia exhaled softly, sniffling abit. She sat up properly and for the first time made proper eye contact with Payten. Amelia looked at the pretty young girls face that was filled with concern. She loved her niece so much and would never burden her with the many emotions and worries that she held inside. She tucked a stray hair behind the girls ear and smiled.
"What did I do to deserve a niece like you?" She asked.
Payten looked at her aunt, puzzled by her reaction. She really didn't look well. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair not as tame as usual. Her cheekbones looked sunken and her lips not as rosy red as she was used to seeing.
"Do you want to skip lunch and head home for a movie instead?" Payten asked after a few seconds of silence.
"Please. I need this day to be over already." Amelia said before grabbing her own things and leading the way to the car.
The duo drove most the journey to Amelia's townhouse in a comfortable silence before Payten sparked up a conversation.
"What was that about.. At the hospital?" Payten asked cautiously.
"Ughh.. Well.. last night, I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative." Amelia admitted.
"Oh I'm so sorry aunt Amei.. I had no idea. I hope you're okay," Payten said feeling awful that she had brought up the topic that was obviously affecting her aunt pretty badly.
"No. Umm… if I'm being honest with you Payten, I'm happy that it was. I don't think I'm ready to have a baby at them moment.." Amelia confessed to her niece for the first time ever.
Payten was taken back by her aunts revelations. It was not long ago that the two were having the same conversation only Amelia seemed excited that her and Owen were trying for a baby.
"Can I ask what changed your mind so suddenly?" She asked her aunt.
Exhaling deeply Amelia turned to make brief eye contact with her niece, "I thought it was something that I wanted until I realised it was something that I didn't." She shrugged.
Payten tried to process the information but it just didn't make sense to her, "I think you would make a great mom for what it's worth."
A small tear fell down Amelia's cheek. Payten noticed but decided against pushing the topic any further. The pair pulled into Amelia's house and made their way into the living room. Payten set herself up on the couch with a pile of comfy blankets and cushions and waited for Amelia to join her. Amelia was getting changed out of her work clothes when she heard her phone beep, Picking it up, the text she had received from Owen read,
'Thought it would be best to spend the night at the trailer seeing as you don't want to talk about anything with me. Your husband. I guess I will see you when I see you.'
Feeling defeated Amelia threw the phone on the bed. She had not felt this hopeless, deflated, upset and angry with herself in a very long time. After getting ready she made her way directly to the kitchen and placed a bag of popcorn in the microwave. She grabbed a coffee mug out of the cupboard and poured herself a glass of Owen's whiskey, it was the only bottle of alcohol that they had in the house. Taking her first sip she savoured the flavour and washed it back and forth over her tongue. She missed the taste, the aroma, the sensation of it all. Breathing it in, she cupped the mug protectively in her hands. Never wanting to let it go. She heard the ding of the microwave that let her know the popcorn was ready and walked back with both the popcorn and whiskey in hand to begin the movie. Not much longer now until her pain will fade away.