Chapter 10- Team Trouble and Testosterone: The Doctor and Robin (Robot of Sherwood Part 3)

The Doctor and Robin would not stop arguing and they've been arguing since I woke up, chained, between Clara and the Doctor, in a dark and dingy, medieval, jail cell. The cell floor was covered in dirt and straw, and the only light came from a tiny window that was shaped like a cross. Their continuous bickering did nothing to help my throbbing headache that came with waking up after having been knocked out by a raging evil robot. I had half a mind to yell at them to stop acting like idiots, but I was in no mood or shape to overexert myself.

When I had first awoken, the Doctor told me he had checked where I had gotten hurt and that, although I would have a nasty lump, I shouldn't have a concussion. I was thankful for that information, and for the fact that he seemed to have convinced the guard who chained me up, to make it so that my head rested on his shoulder and my hands tied next to his instead of to the floor. He kept turning his head to check on me, through the corner of his eyes, as if he thought I wouldn't notice. It was a little adorable. Clara was fussing over me like a mother hen, in between her scolding the boys like an exasperated school teacher. Robin had seemed a little concerned about my well being once I had woken up, but soon after, acted indifferent toward me and focused his energy on arguing with the Doctor, who, although being the way older adult, argued back with just as much passion. I muttered to Clara under my breath, "You can practically smell the testosterone. They're such trouble to my head right now, kinda wish I could kick one of them."

She giggled, and nodded in agreeance. "Yeah, but they make quite the team," she mused, irritated, and I shot her a dubious look. "Team trouble and testosterone," she added, glaring at the boys and I grinned.

"The Doctor and Robin?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. She nodded again. "True, it's like they're both five years old," I declared, each word louder than the next, making sure they both heard me.

"You know, this all so splendid!" Robin expressed to Clara sarcastically, pointedly ignoring my comment. "We're chained and trussed like turkeys! Thanks to your friends," he added the last bit while shooting a glare at the Doctor and me. I wondered while he was angry, but didn't have the chance to ask as the Doctor quickly told him to "watch it," darkly. Happy he had my back, I decided to have his. "Yeah, shut it Hoodie," I told him, although not too loudly like I would have done if I were feeling normal.

Robin still ignored me and continued talking. "I had the situation well in hand."

"A long-haired ninny versus robot killer knights? I know where I'd put my money." I could just tell the Doctor had rolled his eyes while saying this. He almost radiated frustration.

"If the lass had not fallen, I would have been triumphant!" Robin remarked and I sighed, noting the part where he blamed me.

"You would have been a little puff of smoke and ashes," the Doctor countered, making Robin laugh in disbelief. He kept going. "You'd have been around in tiny, little laughing bits in people's' goblets."

"Balderdash! Ha!"

"Oh right, here we go. It's laughing time!" the Doctor exclaimed, throwing his head back and nearly knocking into mine. He quickly turned his head, giving me an apology. I frowned at him, but didn't say anything. I was fed up with his and Robin's back and forth slew of insults and complaints. He noticed my annoyance and scrunched up his eyebrows, wondering why I was upset. As if I'd tell you right now. Suffer or fix your childishness.

In the middle of a weird stare off between the Doctor and me, Robin continued voicing his thoughts and laughing. "You amuse me grey, old man!" I almost groaned in indignation when the Doctor turned back to Robin to retort and yell for the guards. It was time for Clara and I to share looks, and it seemed we had a silent conversation as I was sure she and I both agreed that if this bickering continued on any longer, one of us would end up strangling either the Doctor or Robin, or both, somehow. We also both silently decided who would speak up first. So, sitting up straighter, expression sharp, Clara yelled out, "Oh, you two! Shut up!"

Both men stopped arguing, shooting startled glances Clara's way. I decided to add in, "Do either of you realize, in any way at all, that there isn't actually a guard out there?" Both gazes were then turned on me, and I swear that they're so similar in their childishness, it was almost funny. Almost.

Clara gave them her best scowl, muttering bitterly, "The Doctor and Robin, locked up in a cell. Is this seriously the best you can do? You're determined to starve to death in here squabbling."

I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but her focus was on the two fools, so that's where I kept my focus as well. Before either of them could speak up, I asked them if there was any ideas on how to get out of here.

The Doctor, still giving me concerned glances, spoke up first. "Yes. I have a plan, of course."

Robin, not wanting to be beat, said he had a plan too. These two will be the death of me yet. I sighed, wanting this all to be over already. "Okay, fine. Robin, you first," I conceded.

The concern the Doctor had for me now turned to shock, and if I had been able to concentrate and look further, hurt. "Why him?"

Clara interrupted so I wouldn't have to explain. "Doctor, shut up. Robin, your plan?"

Robin puffed out his chest a little, but soon he shrunk into himself. "I am biding my time."

Clara groaned and turned her attention from him to the Doctor. "Thank you Prince of Thieves. Last of the Time Lords?"

The Doctor, still staring at me intensely, responded that he had a plan, but I cut him off before he could explain any further. "Can you explain the plan without using the words sonic screwdriver? Because Clara told me the sheriff took that away." When he didn't respond, giving me a desperate look I didn't understand, I turned my gaze from him to Clara, who was rubbing at her eyes.

"It's always the sonic screwdriver," she mumbled. Irritation rolled off her in waves, and in a way, I couldn't really blame her. This whole situation was fruitless. Deciding to drop the subject, I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to relax, head still leaning on the Doctor. Trying not to disturb me, he told Clara to let Robin's plan be explained. "You two need to seriously learn how to make up your minds," she said, and I could not agree more.

Suddenly, the sound of the door being unlocked set off Robin and the Doctor again, both of them quarreling over who knew about the guard and for the guard to get rid of each other. I opened my eyes, mostly in annoyance, and winced at the guards appearance. He reeks creepy, and I mean, I know toothbrushes and toothpaste don't really exists yet, but should his teeth really be so dark?

The guard grinned mischievously in mine and Clara's direction, sending chills down my spine. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Doctor shooting him dirty looks as the guard spoke."The sheriff himself commanded me to listen, to find out which of you is the true ringleader."

"How wise of him," the Doctor muttered, still frowning at the guard. Robin took this as a chance to gloat. "Excellent! He will get nothing from me, seeing as I am the leader."

The Doctor turned his frown on Robin, scoffing at him. "Excuse you. I believe you mean he will get nothing from me! Since this is will most likely lead to an interrogation, I assure you that this is where I always turn the tables! You see, that's my plan," he finished smugly. Unfortunately, while the Doctor and Robin bickered, the guard came and unchained Clara. Once she was standing, after dusting off her dress and shooting me a sympathetic glance, she glared at the boys. "Seriously?" she asked them, disappointment lacing her words.

The guard, with Clara in tow, turned to give us one final statement before taking Clara away. "I would have taken the lass in green, but seeing as she's not really in the right state right now, I suppose second in command will have to do." The guard gave me another gross grin and I scrunched up my face in disgust. Robin and the Doctor protested loudly about Clara being the leader and the guard taking her away, but the guard didn't listen and their protests were met with a closed door. I didn't protest because I still didn't feel up to shouting and I already knew she would be chosen, although the guard thinking of me as the first leader unnerved me a bit. Also, I had a lot of faith in the impossible girl.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed while Clara was gone, but luckily, Robin and the Doctor didn't argue as badly as they had before. They were now using their bickering to try and come up with an escape plan, and although it still counted as bickering, at least this time it was almost useful.

Robin had the first escape idea and it was shot down immediately by the Doctor. Robin suggested that if I was well enough, since the guard seemed to have taken a fancy to me, that maybe I could "charm him to let us go." I was appalled at the suggestion, mainly because I was seriously disturbed by that guard, and because I was starting to feel quite dizzy, making me question the Doctor's diagnosis of "no concussion." The Doctor objected vehemently and I was pleased that he cared so much about my well being. Robin mocked the Doctor for being so hard to work with and passionate in his objection, but since we both didn't agree with his idea, Robin decided to think of a new one, telling the Doctor to start having a fit.

"A fit? Why?" I questioned. Robin let his head drop, tired of explaining things, but seeing no other option, he looked back up again and explained that he needed the Doctor to act sick.

The Doctor squinted at him, confused. "I'm sorry?"

"Beat your breast. Moan and groan as though twenty devils has possessed you," Robin described. The Doctor still seemed perplexed, but I got the hint and encouraged him to do it. He furrowed his brows at the both of us. "What for?"

Robin rolled his eyes, gesturing toward the door with his head. "So as to the attract the attention of that gargoyle-faced guard."

I laughed at his description, earning a disapproving glance from the Doctor. "It's your plan, you moan," he retorted.

"No, no, no, it won't work," Robin argued and the Doctor asked him why. "Because," he continued, "you're clearly more advanced in years and you have a sickly aspect to you."

I let out a "Oi!" but the Doctor was still confused. "I have a what?"

Robin clarified for him, "You're as pale as milk. It's the way with Scots, they're strangers to vegetables."

The Doctor finally got the message and shook his head. "I'm not moaning. You moan."

Relenting, Robin agreed. "Fine, if you want something done," he trailed off and then gave out a booming moan. I grimaced at the noise, closing my eyes and trying to tune out the noisy exchange between him, the Doctor, and the guard who came into the cell to check on Robin.

The Doctor went on to the guard about Robin's "ailments," and when it seemed like the guard was starting to lose interest, he mentioned the reward for Robin. This seemed to grab the guard's attention, and I opened my eyes to watch the scene that was about to unfold between these three fools.

Once the guard started questioning Robin about the reward, Robin got him close enough to headbut him, face to face, to where the guard was knocked out flat, dropping the keys by our feet. I bit my cheek to keep from laughing, and chastising, Robin and the Doctor as they fought over who got the keys, eventually kicking it so that it fell in the drain on the ground in front of us. A distant plink could be heard, telling us that the keys had landed in the water far below. At least the boys had the decency to look ashamed.

Trying to stay positive, the Doctor added, "Well, there is a bright side."

"Which is?" Robin asked him.

"Clara didn't see this," he answered and I grinned, ready to mock them both. "Yes, but I did," I declared in a sing-song voice. Both men sighed.

Instead of being released from chains, the Doctor and Robin decided to lift the cement that held us all chained together, and we walked out of there, me a little slowly, but surely. We had found a blacksmith's forge after a bit of searching and after a few good minutes with the right tools, we were released from bondage. Robin laughed at this small triumph and I was starting to side with the Doctor on trying to get him to stop laughing all the time. We still needed to explore this castle we were in more, to hopefully find Clara, so as we set off once more, the Doctor looped my arm through his, encouraging me to "take it easy." I don't know why he was being so kind to me, as he's been doing since I first arrived in this universe, but I was very grateful and not willing to question it.

As we searched, we came across on odd metal door, one that wouldn't normally be in a medieval castle. Robin suggested going inside to see if Clara was in there, but I could tell when the Doctor agree, he had other ideas on his mind. Upon entering the room behind the metal door, I was instantly hit with how cold it was. The walls were the same material and silver colour of the door, and down the small hall from the door to a bigger metal room, right in the middle was a glowing white sphere that screamed alien technology, or technology from the future. There were two stands by the sphere and they seemed to hold what I thought to be computers. The room was bright from the lights on the walls and the light coming from the sphere. Two windows could be seen on the wall behind the sphere, but it was dark outside, so they didn't provide much Doctor walked forward with me toward the sphere, saying "At last, something real. No more fairy tales."

I gave him a pointed look, but didn't comment. Robin looked around the room in amazement. "What is this place?"

"A spaceship," the Doctor explained, stopping near one of the stands. "More twenty-ninth century than twelfth. Data banks… Where was this ship headed?" He asked aloud while typing it into the computer. The screen showed "the promised land," and the Doctor furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. "The promised land," he mused and the computer beeped. "Like the half-faced man, but more sophisticated. It disguised itself as a twelfth century castle."

Robin walked up behind us and the Doctor continued as we all watched the screen. "It merges into the culture, tries to keep a low profile so no one notices. That explains the robot knights- but the engines… They're leaking radiation into the local atmosphere, creating a temporary climate of staggering benevolence."

Robin was stumped, staring at the two of us, dumbfounded. "I beg pardon?"

I let go of the Doctor's arm and he walked around as he talked, just like he did in the Tardis as his past regenerations when talking. "I thought as much. It's too sunny, too green here. And there is an evil sheriff to oppress the locals. This explains everything, even you," he said the last part facing Robin. I slowly made my way to lean against one of the windows, enjoying the fresh air that came through, even if I was cold. Robin was still confused and asked the Doctor for further explanation, which he gave, while still pacing. I had half a mind to tell him to be gentle to Robin with what I knew was coming, but was so wiped out with this adventure, that I just continued to rest by the windows, admiring the view of the ocean below.

"Well, what does every oppressed peasant workforce need? The illusion of hope. Some silly story to get them through the day, lull them into docility, and keep them working. Ship's data banks- full of every myth and legend you could hope for, including Robin Hood," he paused, taking a breath and marvelling the sphere, before turning back to Robin, who was staring at the screen. I remembered that he was watching images of Robin Hood in the stories that came up and I felt slightly guilty for not stopping the Doctor. "Isn't it time you came clean with me? You're not real and you know it. Look at you! Perfect eyes, perfect teeth- nobody has a jawline like that." Sure, whatever you say Doctor. You're probably just remembering 11. "You're as much a part of what is happening here as the sheriff and his metal knights. You're a robot!" the Doctor accused and Robin looked angry.

He wagged his finger at the Doctor, furious. "You dare to accuse me of a collusion with that villain, the sheriff?" The Doctor dared, making Robin even angrier. "You false-tongued knave! I should have skewered you when I had the chance."

I was about to tell Robin off for threatening the Doctor, when the door flew open and in came the sheriff, pulling along Clara, and surrounded by four metal guards. Robin took steps back, shocked, and the Doctor took steps forward, thinking he had everything figured out. I wanted to yell at him for being so blind, but was cut off by the sheriff shouting for our surrender.

The Doctor raised his hands in a "come on" gesture. "You can drop all that stuff now sheriff."

I was tempted to hit my head in frustration and Clara looked at the Doctor, baffled. "Doctor?"She was struggling in the sheriff's grip, trying to get the Doctor's attention, but he was on a roll. A stupid roll. The guards started approaching Robin, who got closer and closer to where I was.

"He's not what you think he is. This is all play-acting," the Doctor told assured Clara, not paying attention to what was going on behind him, but Clara noticed and her eyes grew huge. "We can't just let them kill him and Beth!"

The Doctor whipped around to see Robin holding me in front of him as we stood in front of the window, slowly backing up. I tried to push him away as the Doctor yelled out, "What the hell are you doing?"

The guards were very near us, and we were dangerously close to falling out the window. Wasn't this supposed to be Clara? What the hell? Robin tightened his grip, grinning at the Doctor with a bit of malice. "Surviving!" He shouted out as he leaped backward, pulling me with him. I screamed as we fell down to the water. The Doctor raced toward the window and I missed the Doctor's wail of pain as Robin and I sank below the water's surface.

Thanks again to everyone reading! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!