(I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Twilight Zone)

~Chapter Nine~

I don't know why I said that. It wasn't like I actually wanted to leave him, not by a long shot, and I really did love him. I don't really know, but it was almost like... just the idea of him sticking around with me, with everything so fucked up with Yami and my parents and him having to put up with all that shit also made me feel incredibly guilty. Yeah, yeah, it's stupid reasoning. I also sort of felt like maybe... I dunno. Like I couldn't handle having a boyfriend, or like it was just one more thing to worry about. I'd had my doubts, at times, about how much he actually liked me as opposed to sex with me, but at times like this, I knew that I was stupid to worry. He was treating me so nicely, but it also kind of made me uncomfortable, the way he was walking on eggshells to not upset me.

"You sure I didn't do anything wrong?" He asked, sounding just a little pathetic.

"I already told you, you're amazing," I reassured him for the hundredth time as we lay there on the living room floor.

"Y-yeah, but... I'm kinda an ass. I'll make it up to you, I swear... just stay with me." He was begging. This was so uncharacteristic, it was making me slightly nauseas.

"Bakura, relax," I sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, I'm kinda a wreck right now."

"But... I don't wanna hafta be without you..." He sounded so sad that I turned to look at him, searching his face for any hint that he was messing around at all. Nothing. His cheeks were tinged pink, and I could tell that saying such heartfelt things were hard on him, but he was dead serious as he looked into my eyes. I pulled him closer to me, sighing.

"I love you." I told him forcefully, kissing him softly. He pulled away after a moment, nuzzling into my neck as he held me tightly. Was he shaking? No, he couldn't be... "Bakura, are you crying?" He glared at me, but he couldn't hide the wetness in his eyes.

"NO," He hissed, but his defiance was rendered moot by the tear that escaped despite trying to suppress them. Dear god, what had I done?

"Bakura, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." I brushed his hair away from his face, and he leaned into my hand.

"Stop feelin' sorry for me," he mumbled angrily.

"I'm not. I'm feeling sorry for upsetting you," I clarified, and he rolled his eyes.

"Same fucking thing."

"Only a little." I wrinkled my forehead. "Whaddaya think Yami's going to say tomorrow?" He groaned.

"Shit, I don't even wanna know. He'll probably kill me..." I couldn't hold back a little giggle.

"Yeah, you're probably right..."

"Jeez! Don't sound so happy about it!" He laughed, punching my arm lightly. I pouted, but I must have looked a lot more angry than I really was, though, because suddenly his face took on a horrified look. "Sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you or anything..."

"Bakura, what the fuck?!" He flinched- yes, Bakura flinched- from me. "Bakura, what's the matter? What's going on?" He looked cornered.

"Nothing! Nothing is wrong, I just- I don't know how to act. I don't want to freak you out, and I don't wanna piss you off. Shit, Yugi. I know I'm a shitty boyfriend, but you gotta give me something to go on here. I don't know, and I don't wanna fuck this up any more than I already have." He was getting so worked up now, and acting even more... emotionally unstable than I would have expected, even in this situation. Usually when this kind of thing came up, he just got angry and lit stuff on fire...

"Bakura, is everything okay with Marik?" The look on his face told me that I'd hit the nail on the head. "Bakura, what's wrong? Tell me! You can talk to me," I pleaded, but is expression just sort of closed up.

"N-nothing. Just, you know, the normal shit..."

"No, I don't know. Talk to me. It's obviously bothering you..." He swallowed nervously.

"But... it's not like it really matters... I mean, it doesn't affect you directly, so you shouldn't worry about it. I don't want you to get upset for no reason..." Shit, it sounded like something really bad had happened...

"Bakura, it affects you a lot, so it obviously affects me. It's okay to talk to me, Bakura. I wanna know. Okay? I mean... unless you don't wanna tell me, but... I really care, and you're upset..." and I was rambling like a moron again. He laughed a little bitterly.

"Yugi, it's not that big of a deal..." His voice cracked towards the end.

"Bullshit! This is the second time in ten minutes that you've been near tears. Bakura, what the hell happened?!" I was really starting to get freaked out; something was seriously wrong. He pulled me tighter against his body, holding my head to his chest and stroking my hair, almost as if to comfort himself.

"He... Shit, Yugi. He got really worried about causin' us trouble. You know, the other day? 'Cuz we were s'posed to go out, but then we had to help him instead, you know? Well... 'parrently, he was freaking out about causing trouble for everyone and about being like, a burden to all of us, and he-he-" His voice broke again, and I felt his chest shaking with sobs that he was unwilling to release. He buried his face in my hair, and I hugged him tightly.

"Shh, it's okay... it's okay..." I actually had no idea whether or not it was okay; I had no idea what was going on, but I needed to comfort him. He was in pain, and it hurt me to watch him hurting so much.

"Y-Yugi, he-he tried to kill himself again, Yugi," He managed to choke out. Shiiiiiiiiiit.

"Bakura..." I didn't know what to say, but I held him tightly as his body heaved with silent sobs.

"He promised me he wouldn't try any shit like that again. He promised me, Yugi, so what does he do? He goes up in the bathroom and slits his fucking wrists. I... his mom said that they wouldn't let anyone but family in to see him. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do, Yugi. I don't know how to help him. I-I-I-"

"Shh, Bakura," I tried to sooth him as he approached hysteria again. "Bakura, it isn't your fault. You know that. It sucks, but it's not your job to take care of him; it's not your responsibility to make sure he's okay. Hell, you're an amazing friend to him. You take such good care of him, but love, there's only so much you can do. You know that." I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to say; I mean, what can you say to that? I had to say something, though, because he was just getting more and more upset by the moment.

"B-but you don't wanna be with me either, and obviously he fucking doesn't; he'd rather fucking die than be with me, and I don't fucking know what I'm supposed to do-" Shit. I had fucked up big time. Now I knew why he was reading so much into this, but I didn't know how to convince him that I loved him.

"That isn't it, Bakura. That isn't it at all. We need you. Okay? I know Marik needs you, and I sure as hell need you. I told you, I'm so sorry about what I said; I wasn't thinking. I didn't actually want you to leave. I want more than anything to stay with you, but I don't want you getting caught up in my family's shit. I don't want you to get hurt any more than is absolutely necessary. Marik... you know things don't always make sense logically to him. Don't you dare think that he doesn't love you, because I know that you're his best friend, and you're the most important person to him. I don't even spend that much time with him, but it's pretty fucking obvious how much he cares for you. As for you being a shitty boyfriend, what the fuck?! Of course you aren't a shitty boyfriend. You take better care of me than my own parents take care of me. You love me more than my own parents love me. You're amazing, and don't you fucking say any differently," I finished, out of breath. Damn, I was on a roll. He had stopped crying, at least, and we just lay there for a while, holding each other. "I mean all of that, too," I promised. "I love you so much, and I didn't mean to hurt you." He sighed heavily.

"Shit, Yugi. I feel fucking pathetic right now," he admitted, laughing humorlessly. "Look at me. I'm all fucking, like, crying and shit. What the fuck?"

"Bakura, of course you're crying. I'm being totally retarded, and your best friend almost died. You aren't pathetic. In fact," I added, smirking at him, "I think you're rather adorable." I knew that would get to him. Sure enough, he pinned me to the floor, his arm across my chest crushing my lungs.

"What did you just call me?" he growled menacingly, a smile threatening to break through.

"I believe you heard me," I replied breathlessly. "You're adorable." I reached up to pat his hair. "Like a bunny!" He growled again, baring his teeth playfully.

"I'm not a fucking bunny!" He sighed. "But seriously..." The air rushing into my lungs almost hurt as he rolled off of me. "This is just so... so fucked up." Yeah, it was. Me, comforting him? What was this, the Twilight Zone?

"Well... I mean, he's gonna be okay, right?"

"Yeah... luckily, the doors on the bathrooms don't lock anymore, so Malik was able to stop the bleeding before he lost too much blood... it was still pretty bad, though, I guess. I talked to him this morning. He was really freaked out..." He rubbed his temples. Come to think of it, Malik hadn't been at school the last couple of days...

"So what're they going to do with him?" He shrugged, looking weary.

"Who knows? It's all just the same old shit. They just try to fix the symptoms, never actually focus on the whole thing. But it isn't like the things he does are the cause of everything; it's just like..." he was having a hard time explaining. "It's like, he does shit because of something bigger, but they're just trying to fix the smaller things without even looking at the cause. It doesn't do any good to just treat the symptoms and not the cause. Shit. I suck at explanations. You know what I mean though?" I nodded.

"I think so..."

"They keep him drugged up all the time, but that obviously doesn't help much. Then when he goes off the fucking deep end, it's even worse 'cuz they've got all the meds fucking with him too. It just sucks." He looked thoroughly depressed. "He's a good guy, too. Why does he have to have all this shit happen to him? It doesn't make any fucking sense." He sounded so pathetic, it really got to me.

"Aww, Bakura, I know," I murmured as I hugged him gently. "It's total bullshit, but that's just kinda how things go. We can't do anything about it... it totally sucks. Trust me, I understand." And I did. It wasn't like I had the same things going on, but... I knew how much it sucked to have someone you loved going through so much trouble, and being totally powerless to help them. To have to watch, day by day as they suffered, to see their pain, to know how bad things were, and not be able to do a fucking thing... I knew that feeling all too well. He looked at me, and his eyes were so full of sorrow for poor Marik and love for me that I had to look away. "Let's go to bed," I suggested, yawning. "It's been a long day..."

A/N: Thanks for reading... it might be a while until I update again... I just found one of my rats, Fannie, dead... now Phoebe is all alone... I'm really sorry. I'm quite upset.

~alex~