Chapter um, 10, I think? It's been awhile-blush-

Naruto and all characters © Masashi Kishimoto

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Sasuke was beginning to think that life was an endless parade of tortures, one right after the other, with no time to get past the ferocity of the many torments which came before. He closed his eyes while leaning against the door, grateful for the freedom of the darkness and emptiness which surrounded him as he did. Is this what death is like? He wondered. Is this what you're experiencing right now, Hinata? He thought. Nothingness?

Lately he had been developing a maddening habit of talking to her in his mind, and the more he tried to stop himself, the more he found himself doing it, much to his embarrassment. At first, he'd been seriously afraid for his own sanity, but then he realized that for most of his life, he had never been what one would call sane. Itachi had made sure of that.

He opened his eyes and looked at the blood all over his hands, on his face, and on his clothes, most of it dark and sticky, but some of it still bright red and running down as if it had been freshly shed; a morbid reminder of his latest assignment. Tsunade had grudgingly allowed him to go back on missions with ANBU so long as he was carefully watched so that he didn't try to escape from his village once again. He was surprisingly thankful for that.

However, his comrades often commented that he got a little too "into" his missions, resulting in a little too much uncontrolled bloodshed, but Sasuke paid them little attention.

This was mostly due to the fact that ANBU were expected to finish off their enemies quickly and cleanly, yet Sasuke vented out all of his frustrations on whatever poor, unfortunate soul they were ordered to capture or kill. The way he would have so gladly done to his own brother had he been given the chance.

The thought occasionally entered his mind during these missions that he could always just kill those who were watching him and be free to escape Konoha once again, to finally kill Itachi, and to kill Hinata's captors as well. He was sure that he was skilled enough to pull it off. The only thing that stopped him from committing such a crime was the knowledge that he'd be following in Itachi's footsteps by killing innocent people for selfish purposes.

So he now had pretty much nothing to live for other than those few sweet moments of violent release. At the moment, he didn't even have "reviving" his clan to worry about. Hinata was gone, end of story, and it would be proper to mourn her for at least a year or so, although he knew that he would still think about her every day, just as he still thought about his parents every single day. Just as he still thought about his cursed brother every single day. Or every minute more like, he thought with a shrug as blood dripped down to the wooden floor of his home.

"Uchiha-san!" For a moment, Sasuke was startled out of his thoughts to hear a high- pitched female voice greeting him home, until he remembered that he had hired a young girl, Hotaru, to take care of things around the house while he was gone. It was hard enough trying to find someone who was willing to work in the home of "cursed" Sasuke Uchiha. He had heard people talk in the streets when they thought that he wasn't listening.

"He's cursed you know. Everyone he loves ends up dying sooner or later. That's why he stays away from everyone." They would whisper while trying to sneak looks at him.

"Well I'll take my chances to get close to him," the occasional giggling fangirl would answer back, but Sasuke would have little to do with their kind. Even Karin had started to be too much for him to handle lately.

He had chosen Hotaru to stay with him in part because as a side branch member of the Hyuuga clan, she too had a "curse" that she was trying to escape from, and working for him was her way of temporarily escaping from her dark cage. He had another reason as well, though he would never admit it to anyone. When he looked into the girl's submissive white eyes, some of the loneliness left by Hinata's absence faded conveniently away, and he could imagine, if only for a moment, that things were as they had always been, and that nothing had ever changed.

He would hopefully always have a sweet and pretty Hyuuga girl to greet him in the morning, whether it was Hinata or not didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Or at least that was what he tried his hardest to believe.

But as Hotaru began to carefully wipe the blood from his face, he saw something else in her eyes. Something that he intensely hated. In her pale eyes, he could clearly see pity. He would've preferred fear, disgust, or anything else to that. He never, ever wanted to be the object of anyone's pity. Especially a woman's.

This woman in particular was especially deserving of his pity, what with that horrid seal barely hidden beneath her silky brown bangs. He no longer wished to look at her or be near her.

"You may go now Hotaru. I'll do the rest myself." He ordered her in a voice that came out harsher than he intended it to, but the girl took no offense. She was used to such behavior from others within the Hyuuga clan, and knew better than to argue when given an order. After a nod and a slight bow, she was gone as quickly as she had come; leaving Sasuke alone in a room that seemed far too bright and cheerful for his taste. The blood on his hands suddenly seemed so bright he could barely take it. He could taste it, smell it, just as he did on that horrible day when he was a child. Just as he did on the day when Karin coldly informed him about Hinata's end.

His heartbeat echoed loudly in his head and he wished that it would just stop. Stop completely. Forever. 8888888

Hinata struggled to get back up from the ground on her hands and knees. She could taste the sharp and bitter taste of blood in the back of her throat, but it didn't bother her one bit. She couldn't remember when the last time was that she felt so challenged and alive.

"Had enough yet?" Itachi asked while looking down on her with barely concealed surprise. She shook her head defiantly, wiped her bleeding face with her hand, and got back up, as her sister had done for her father all those years ago, and as she had desperately wished to be able to do for herself back then. With Itachi, she was becoming all that she had ever hoped to be. It was an addictive, floating sort of feeling.

She was aware that he was only training her like this in the hopes that she would join Akatsuki, which was suffering from a shortage of members due to a shockingly high death rate in battle. Indeed, some of their brightest talents had died years ago.

And so she went along with it. But in the back of her mind, she secretly hoped to try and escape him once she finally became strong enough.

Hadn't Sasuke used Orochimaru in such a way, she thought, becoming stronger before killing him and then leaving Otogakure to finally pursue his own goal? She wished to achieve something similar, only she had no desire to kill Itachi or anyone. She would leave that goal to Sasuke if he still had hopes of achieving it.

The only things that she wished for were freedom and strength of her own, two things that she felt she still had yet to experience. So with those thoughts fresh in her mind, she charged at Itachi, blissfully ignoring the sharp pains in her body and the blood staining her small, white hands.

END

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Okay, okay, I know it's been almost a month, but yes summer is over, meaning I have WAY less time to write. Hardly any, but I'm not giving up though.

I liked writing this anyways. Writing bloody, emo chapters is fun, lol. And there's an OC! Yay.

I tried to contrast Sasuke's feelings of hopelessness with Hinata's new sense op hope and purpose by tying it together with the blood or something of that sort. So I hope that at least one person likes reading it as much as I liked writing it. Probably not though. I got mixed reviews for that last one.

Anyways, I'm not quite sure where to take this story. ItaHina or SasuHina? I'm seriously torn. I started this out as an ItaHina in my head but I've read some really awesome SasuHina stories lately. They made me ashamed of my mediocre writing skills,lol

REVIEW!!! But don't be too mean. I can't handle harsh criticism,-giggle- I love you all, God bless-kiss-