Chapter 10 – Fitting the Crime
Carlisle:
"Let me guess who filled my lab coat with bells…Jake, this had to be your idea, followed by Emmett, and the little sewing bees would be Bella, Rosalie, Alice and Leah. Is that right?" I asked my snickering children before me.
"Darling, you're so cute when you jingle like that," Esme said snickering herself.
"Don't encourage them, dear," I said to her.
"Even when Dad's about to lay into us, they can still be sickening," Jacob said.
"You better watch your step there, my boy," I said warningly to Jake. "Am I correct in guessing who is responsible for my day full of children running up and wanting to 'ring Dr. Jingle', Jacob Cullen," I asked glaring at him.
"Hee hee hee hee hee, uh…that would be correct Daddy Jingle," Jake said and then broke out laughing along with everyone else. They couldn't hold it in any longer. My loving, supportive wife also let loose.
"I hope you are all enjoying yourselves," I said to them. "I had kids climbing on me and shaking me and yelling 'ring' out at me all day long! Plus, now the nurses want me to wear this lab coat tomorrow when we have a children's flu shot party to keep them entertained," I said to them. All this did was make them all laugh more.
Jake was falling on the floor, Emmett was practically rolling back and forth grabbing his middle section laughing, Seth and Edward were leaning against each other laughing, Jasper and Alice were laying back on the couch shaking they were laughing so hard, Rosalie, Bella and Leah were leaning into each other laughing and giggling uncontrollably, and my beautiful, loving wife was just as bad.
"AHH HA HA HA HAH HA! Dr. Jingle! Jake this is the greatest idea you had yet," Emmett roared with laughter. "I'd give anything to see those kids shaking Pops to make him ring! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
I just stood there letting them laugh and get it out of their systems before I informed them of their upcoming punishment. The only trouble, every time I moved, I jingled and that made them laugh even more. It didn't help when Esme came and joined in the festivities.
"Carlisle, my love, I just have to see for myself," Esme said as she grabbed my arm and shook me. Of course, I jingled. "Ha ha ha ha, oh darling, I always knew you could ring my bell," Esme said and dissolved into laughter.
"Oh gross, gross," Jake said acting like he was heaving.
Finally, they all got themselves under control and their laughing finally came down to a few giggles. If I moved, they would start again, but finally they were settling down.
"Finished with your laughing, are we?" I asked them still with my arms folded over my chest.
"Wait a minute, ha ha ha ha ha, okay, now I'm done," Jake said grinning.
"Good, because now I can inform you of your punishment," I said to them as they all began groaning together.
"Come on Daddy, it was a fun thing, no one was hurt or anything," Rosalie said trying to appease me.
"Yeah Dad, we didn't think you were going to wait to put your lab coat on at work," Bella explained.
"Yeah, so it's your fault for not following your usual pattern," Jake said with confidence.
"I'm with Jake on this one, Pops," Emmett announced.
"You guys are so dead," Edward said shaking his head at us.
"So, for your punishment…" I began and was interrupted again.
"Yeah, we know, go to our rooms and wait for you to call each of us into your Medieval torture dungeon," Jake said sullenly and stood up.
"That's not what I was going to say…torture dungeon! I have a good mind to hand out this punishment and then take you up there, my little jester, and show you what a dungeon is!" I scolded him.
"You mean you're not going to tan our hides?" Jake asked smiling.
"I have something I think will be the perfect punishment for this little feat of yours," I said looking at all of them.
"Oh no, what is it?" Emmett asked.
"Tomorrow, Bella, you will stay here and do any chores in the house that your mother tells you to do. The rest of you, Rosalie, Alice, Leah, Emmett and Jake, my little bell ringers, will come to the hospital and keep the children entertained at the flu shot party with crafts, games, whatever, while they wait to get their flu shots. It should be a fun filled day for all of you," I said looking at them with my eyebrows raised.
"What? Oh no, not me. I'm not doing crafts," Rosalie said. "Dad, I hate crafts."
"Me too! I'd rather get my butt beat," Jake said making his way toward the stairs. "Come on, bring the manacles," Jake said to me.
"Get back here, Jake. You're going and you're going to like it, all of you," I said now giving them a stern look.
"Hey, how come I have to stay here and do housework? Why can't I go and play with the kids. I'm good at that," Bella complained.
"It's too risky with you being in a hospital with all the blood smells. You will have to stay here and do the chores the girls usually do, at human speed," I said to her.
"Aww, come on Dad. That's not fair," Bella complained.
"Sorry baby girl, but that's the way it has to be. I can't be watching out for you and doing my job at the hospital and the others will have their hands full with the kids," I said.
"Crap! The one punishment I would like to do and I'm stuck at the house again," Bella mumbled.
"By the way Jacob, you will get to meet little Ricky Brown. I think you should have him to keep an eye on all to yourself," I said smiling at him.
"Why? Who's Ricky Brown?" Jake asked.
"Hey Pops, is that the little brat you swatted last year because he was going around kicking the doctors and nurses?" Emmett asked.
"Yes, one and the same," I said smiling at Jake.
"Oh man, good luck Jakey," Emmett said clapping him on the shoulder.
"Thanks, thanks a lot Dad. I hope the kid tries to kick me. He'll break his toe on my wolf skin," Jake said rubbing his hands together.
"Make sure he doesn't get the chance, Jake. That's all we need," I said to him.
"You're loving this Daddy, I can tell," Rosalie said smirking at me.
"Well, don't think I'm not doing my share. The hospital is insisting I wear this jingling lab coat you doctored up for me," I said flapping my arms and ringing the bells.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You have to wear the coat," Emmett laughed.
"Hush up Emmett, or I'll make you wear one of those fluorescent Hawaiian shirts from our trip tomorrow," I warned him.
"Yes Pops," Emmett said shutting down the laugh factory.
"Oh this will be fun," Alice said excitedly.
"You would think so," Rosalie said to her sister.
The Next Morning:
Carlisle:
"Children, come on get a move on, we're going to be late," I called to my 5 groaning children. You would think they were going to a prison camp.
"I'm ready Pops," Emmett said unphased by the task that awaited him.
"Me too, Dad," Rosalie said.
"Here I come Dad, now your day is complete," Jake said carrying on.
"Where's Alice?" I asked.
"Still trying to pick out an outfit, as usual," Rosalie sighed.
"Alice! Come on, we have to go," I shouted up to her.
"Coming Daddy," Alice said bounding down the steps. "How do I look?" Alice asked. She was dressed fit to kill in a new designer outfit.
"Where do you think you're going dressed like that? You're in Forks, not Paris," Jake said to her.
"Well, one should always look their best," Alice said primping herself.
"Yeah, I can't wait to see what that outfit looks like when those kids get through with it," Jake laughed.
"Daddy, listen to him and look how he looks," Alice said to me.
"Sorry Little One, but this time, Jake is correct. Now come on, we have to get going," I said ushering them out to the cars.
Hospital:
"Oh Dr. Cullen, you brought your children, how wonderful," Marcie said grinning at them.
"Yes, they are going to look after the children at the party so the rest of us can devote our time to administering the flu vaccines," I explained.
"Oh wonderful, this will be so much help to all of us, let me show you where we are having it," Marcie said now leading the children to a ward that was set up just for this. "Here are all the crafts, games over here, toys and coloring books and books you can read to them are there also. They can play with anything. We even have water paints and glitter and glue and craft paper," Marcie said.
"Oh joy," Jake said sullenly.
"Oooooooo, I love glitter," Alice cooed over seeing it all.
"Just keep it away from me," Rosalie said with her snarl.
"Don't worry, the kids will keep you hopping," Marcie said as she walked out.
"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Jake griped.
"It's only for a few hours this morning. I certainly think 3 vampires and 2 wolves can handle a group of children," I said to them shaking my head. "Just relax and enjoy it, you were young once too." I reminded them.
"Yeah sure, say that to us. How long has it been since you were a little kid? People walked around carrying clubs and saying "ug", Jake said.
"Ha ha ha ha ha! Pops as a caveman! I bet he would have somehow found a way to make a suit! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Emmett laughed.
"Watch it Young Man! You can always sit down and have them draw for you," I suggested laughing as I was making my way out before the chaos would begin in here.
"Just because you drew on the cave walls," Jake called out at me as I left the room. I couldn't help but chuckle at their reluctance for this. Marcie was all smiles.
"Great idea Dr. Cullen, now we don't have to deal with that little Ricky Brown. I feel sorry for your children," Marcie said laughing.
"Oh goody. Just the kid for my son, Jacob, to look after. I almost wish I could be in there to see that," I said thinking about it.
"Oh heavens Dr. Cullen, don't even think that," Marcie said laughing. "That kid is something else."
"So is Jacob," I said to her. We both laughed.
It wasn't long and the children started arriving. I had to make my rounds yet and so did Mark Jansen. We were the only doctors on call today. The nurses and nurse's aides began ushering the children in by my children. The fun would be starting any minute now.
"Oh look, the kids are starting to arrive. Isn't that little girl cute?" Alice said looking at the little girl. Alice ran up to her and knelt down to talk to her. The little girl was a mini-Alice, dressed like she went shopping with Alice. "Oh, don't you look pretty today. Take my hand and come with me, we'll have a lot of fun," Alice said sweetly to the little girl.
"Get away! I don't wanna shot! I want my mommie! MOMMIE!" The little girl screamed and pushed Alice.
"Oh I'm sorry, her mother went to the restroom. She said she will calm down after a bit," the nurse's aide said handing her off to Alice.
"Get away! AAAAHHHH! WAAAAHHHH!" The little girl screamed.
Alice grabbed her and picked her up and the little girl began kicking and squirming trying to get away from Alice. She did everything and then shrieked in Alice's ear.
"Stop it!" Alice shouted at her. That really made the girl cry.
Then a couple of little boys about the age of 5 came charging in and made a B-line for the toys. Emmett decided to tackle them.
"Hey, you guys wanna play with the toys," Emmett asked.
"Yeah, get away giant man, these are for kids," the one boy said giving an evil grin to Emmett.
"What a little brat," Emmett said to him.
"I'm not a brat. I'm gonna tell my Daddy you called me names," the kid shouted at Emmett.
"Yeah, I'll call you a name, alright," Emmett said.
"Babe, they're just kids," Rosalie said coming up to Emmett.
"What's your name little boy?" Rosalie asked him.
"I'm Timmy and that's my twin Tommy," the other boy said.
"My Daddy calls us TNT cause we're like dynamite, whatever that is," Tommy said.
"Oh great, explosive kids," Jake said shaking his head. "Dad sure stuck us with a punishment," Jake groaned.
Then little Ricky Brown came in. Marcie brought him in to me before unleashing the holy terror on my children. She wanted me to take him in so he knew I was at the hospital today and maybe he would behave.
"Dr. Cullen, look who's here," Marcie said sweetly to me.
As I turned, I spied the little monster glaring at me. When he saw me, he ducked behind Marcie and started screaming and stomping his feet.
"No, no! I don't want Dr. Spank! No, no, no," Ricky shouted.
"Come along Ricky, I'd like you be meet my son, Jake," I said grabbing him by the arm. The kid flattened himself on the floor so I couldn't pick him up and started kicking his feet.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Ricky shouted. Marcie and Mark were laughing. I gave them a glare.
"Yes, yes, yes, you are coming with me," I said scooping him up and throwing him under my arm and carrying him in to meet Jake and the others. "Oh Jacob, I have a special project for you," I said as Ricky was still kicking and carrying on under my arm. I plopped him down on his feet right in front of Jacob.
"You would," Jake said.
"Meet Ricky Brown," I said to Jake laughing.
"No, no, no, Dr. Spank is mean," Ricky yelled.
"Yeah, I hear ya kid," Jake said to Ricky.
"Ricky, this is my son, Jacob. He will be looking after you today," I said to Ricky. Ricky immediately ran and tried to shove Jake. Jake didn't budge so Ricky screamed and tried to kick Jake. I grabbed Ricky before his foot came into contact with Jake's hard wolf body.
"Ricky! You stop it right now," I scolded him. "You behave yourself or I will come in here and deal with you," I warned him.
"I'd do what he says, kid. My Dad will warm your bottom for ya," Jake said to Ricky.
The room was beginning to fill up and Ricky was putting on a show and then ran up to Jake and started to climb up on him.
"Hey kid, let me show you something. Want to sing a song with Dr. Spank, I-I mean Dr. Jingle," Jake asked him. Immediately all the kids yelled yes and ran up to me. Jake was in his glory.
"Ja-cob!" I said giving him a warning look.
"Okay kids, follow me. Everyone grab hold of Dr. Jingle's coat," Jake said to all the kids. They immediately grabbed me and squealed with delight when my coat jingled.
"Jacob! I'm warning you, you are treading on thin ice," I said to him. Emmett and the others came over and joined in also.
"Yeah, well let's break the ice. Ready kids?" Jake asked.
"YES!" They all shouted.
"Okay, start shaking Dr. Jingle," Jake said and they all shook me and I was jingling and standing there glaring at Jake with my arms crossed.
"Jingle bells, Jingle bells," Jake began and continued singing the song and was joined by all the kids and my own children while they all shook me to accompany the song with my bells. All I could do was glare at my children. I am going to wallop these children of mine. Then Jake was behind me doing who knows what and the kids were laughing and singing. Marcie and Mark came in because the kids were so loud they were wondering what was going on. Finally, the song ended and I just walked up to Jacob and my children.
"You know, we all live in the same house and we are all going to be home tonight!" I said as I turned to walk out. As I was walking, my children began laughing, as did Marcie and Mark. "What's so funny?" I asked my colleagues.
"Nothing. Oh Carlisle, you have to bring these kids of yours more often," Mark said as we walked back to the treatment room.
"Mark, my friend, you have no idea what you are asking for if I bring all of my children to this hospital," I said patting Mark on the shoulder.
As we were walking, everyone I passed began laughing and when I would turn around, no one would say anything but stop laughing and when I turned away they began laughing again. It was like this all the way down the hall. Even the patients were laughing.
"Why is everyone laughing as I walk by," I asked Mark and Marcie entering the room.
"You need to see for yourself," Mark said and took me into the doctor's lounge where there is a mirror so we can make sure we look okay before going out. I looked in the mirror and Mark turned me around and gave me a hand mirror and said to look at the back of me. As I did, my eyes widened in horror.
"JACOB CULLEN!" I yelled aloud. "I'm going to blister that child," I said as I finally found out what the others were laughing at.
Jacob had painted a red bull's eye on my rump and then written above it in red: "Flu shots here!" with an arrow pointing to the bull's eye. No wonder everyone was laughing. I began taking my lab coat off.
"Oh no, Dr. Cullen, you have to keep it on. The kids are expecting Dr. Jingle," Marcie said.
"I don't care, I'm not walking around with this on," I said as I began slipping it off.
"Oh come on Carlisle, just stay in here and keep your back to the wall. Most of the kids can't read anyway," Mark said.
Back with the Children:
"Hey! You little monster, get off of me," Emmett yelled at one of the twin Dynamo kids. "Look at this kid, he's scaling me like a mountain," Emmett called out to us. "Get him off of me!"
"Hey, I got my own problems, this Ricky is pushing every kid in his way, down on the floor." Jake called out. "Hey, let that glue alone…don't squeeze it…no….whoa…you little monster…don't you throw anything at me again," Jake yelled to Ricky.
"My daddy said I'm I can do what I want so I can throw anything I want, yan yan," Ricky shouted at Jake and made a face at him.
"Rosalie, look out behind you," Jake called to Rosalie.
"Oh no, I'm not falling for that one, Mutt," Rosalie said.
"No Babe, he's right, look out," Emmett called to Rosalie.
"Don't you start too…hey…what are you doing?" Rosalie yelled turning around to see little Polly Tanner pouring green paint and glitter on the back of Rosalie's hair. "Look what you did!" Rosalie shouted at her. Little Polly immediately starting crying.
"Waaaahhhhhh, I want my Mommie!" Polly cried.
"Mikey, Mikey, get off that bookcase," Leah called to a little boy who was climbing up the bookcase and throwing all the books on the floor. Leah reached out and grabbed him off the bookcase. Mikey chomped on Leah's finger. "Hey, the kid bit me!" Leah shouted. "He didn't hurt me but I think he hurt his mouth!"
"Good, that's what he gets," Jake said laughing. The kid came over and kicked Jake in the shin and then howled in pain as his foot collided with Jake's tough wolf skin. "Ha, do it again," Jake dared him.
"NO! Get away! I'm telling my Mommy you hurt me," the kid threatened.
"Where's Dr. Spank when you need him?" Jake said aloud. "Funny how he always catches us."
"Look at this kid hanging on me," Emmett called out with Timmy hanging off Emmett's arm which he was holding out straight. His twin Tommy started climbing up Emmett on the other side. "These kids are like orangutans," Emmett said. "Hey, get off that fan," Emmett called as Tommy reached up and grabbed onto the ceiling fan blade.
Emmett grabbed hold of him and tried to yank him down but Tommy kept hanging onto the fan. The fan wasn't on but with Tommy hanging on it, the fan then began turning and Emmett had to turn with him trying to get him down. Then the twin Timmy, started hitting Emmett on the back and screaming at him.
"You leave my brother alone! He can hang on that fan. Let my brother alone," Timmy yelled in Emmett's ear.
"AAHHH! Look what Jill and her brother did to my outfit," Alice shouted horror struck at her new outfit which now had the added decorations of kids handprints of dark purple and yellow all over the back and front of her outfit.
"I told you not to wear a good outfit here! These kids are out of control," Jake said now chasing Ricky as he was throwing glitter everywhere.
"These kids need a dose of Pops every day of their lives," Emmett complained. "Get off that fan you little monkey," Emmett yelled at Tommy.
"I'm telling my Daddy you yelled at us!" Timmy shouted in Emmett's ear.
"Kid, you yell in my ear one more time and I'm going to tape your mouth shut," Emmett warned.
"He's gonna hurt me," Timmy yelled.
About that time, Mark, Marcie and I went into the room to take 3 of the children to get their shots. We were stunned to see the havoc these children were causing. I actually felt sorry for my children. Ricky was especially terrible.
"What is going on in here," I called out loudly. This got the kids attention and Ricky immediately came running at Mark and Marcie.
"I hate doctors and nurses," Ricky called out running straight at Marcie.
I knew what he was going to do. He was going to kick Marcie and Mark. I stepped in front of Marcie and Ricky ran right into my hand I held out to stop him.
"Don't you dare kick my nurse or Dr. Jansen. You behave yourself, little man, or I'll turn you over my knee! That goes for all of you children! Now settle down in here. We can hear you all over the hospital and there are sick people in here," I scolded them.
"Look at this room," Marcie called out.
"Look at us," Jake said to her.
"Get down off that fan, young man," I called to the little boy Emmett was trying to pry off the fan blade.
"Waaaaahhhhhh, he yelled at me," Tommy cried. "WAAAAAHHHHH! I'm telling my daddy on you, WAAAHHHHH!"
"Oh shut up kid!" Emmett yelled at him. Then the kid really did cry and so did his twin.
"Enough in here! You children are going to clean this mess up and this room better look better the next time I come in here," I scolded them some more. "Now get busy!"
Surprisingly the kids stopped whining and actually did try to help clean up. We began taking the children in little by little and gave them their shots. Of course they were screaming when we got the shots out. Eventually, we had everyone, and then my kids and the nurses cleaned the kids up as best as they could. We finally finished and I told my kids we would be going as soon as I finished up a few patients. We then left for home.
As we walked into the house, Bella and Esme were there to greet us. Edward, Seth and Jasper came down too. My children and I looked like we had been to a warzone. Jake walked in the house and went into the living room and fell face down onto the floor.
"What happened to you guys?" Bella asked.
"Lil Sis, you were the lucky one staying at home," Emmett said collapsing on one of the couches.
"That was the worst day of my life," Leah added.
"Look at my outfit," Alice complained.
"Your outfit, look at my hair!" Rosalie shouted.
"Carlisle, what happened to your lab coat?" Esme asked seeing Jake's artwork on the back. Plus I had kid's handprints all over my lab coat also.
"Kids at the hospital," I said to her now joining my children and flopping on the couch opposite Emmett.
"Those weren't kids, they weren't human! They must be some kind of imps or hobgoblins, the little devils," Emmett complained.
"That Ricky kid could be used as some sort of secret weapon with the military. That kid could bring a nation to its knees in no time," Jake said still not moving.
"No kidding. I feel like I fought a war," Emmett said.
"I've never seen kids like that; that kid with the glitter, she cried if you looked at her," Leah said.
"I'd rather kiss the Volutri on the lips than be with those kids again," Emmett said.
"I can beat that, I'd rather kiss Prune Face over there on the lips," Jake said motioning toward Rosalie.
"I'd rather kiss weasel over there," Rosalie said pointing toward Jake.
"I was so happy Pops came in and yelled at them," Emmett said.
"Dad, if you ever make us go and watch those kids again, we're running away from home," Jake said still unable to move. "I ache all over."
"Well, we are extending the flu shot drive tomorrow yet, and Marcie was hoping you could come back tomorrow. The kids that were there today won't be there tomorrow. Any takers?" I asked them.
"Not me," Jake said leaping up and running out the door.
"Forget it Pops," Emmett said. "Jake! Wait up!" Emmett called running after him.
"Never again," Alice said running out also along with Leah.
"Don't even ask," Rosalie said as she flashed out. The rest of us all laughed after them.
"I can't believe those kids got the best of 3 vampires and 2 wolves," Edward said laughing.
"Care to see if you can handle them? I think it would be a good experience for you, Seth and Jasper," I suggested to them.
"No way! Wait for me!" Edward said flashing out the door.
"I'd rather fight in the Civil and Southern Vampire wars again then go meet those kids," Jazz said running toward the door. "Ali, wait for me!"
I then looked at Bella.
"Uh…I'd rather go through another newborn year," Bella said walking over by Esme.
"I'd rather face those kids than go through another newborn year! Kids, here I come!" I shouted putting my jingle coat back on and running out the door!
END OF STORY!
PLEASE REVIEW!