Haley laid in bed staring straight up at the ceiling. It was a little after eleven in the morning. Julian, Alex, and Millie had already left to go back to California. She was going to go see Lucas, but then she remembered he was away on his honeymoon. So, she went back to the hotel. She wasn't trying to sleep. She was just laying there completely alone. And that's exactly how she felt. She felt so alone right now. Lucas was gone. Julian was gone. Alex and Millie were gone. She was going back and forth in her mind as to whether she should pack up and head back to California. Why did she decide to stay in Tree Hill? Especially this week. She knew Lucas was going to be gone. She knew Julian, Alex, and Millie were going to be gone. So, why the heck was she even still here? Before she could question it anymore, a knock sounded. She jumped off of the bed and headed towards the door. She swung it open and was surprised to see Brooke standing on the other side. "Brooke? What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Hey, Haley. I'm sorry for just showing up like this. I was just wondering...well, hoping you would maybe like to go out to lunch with me." Brooke suggested timidly.
"Oh, I...umm, I..." Haley stammered feeling a little bit off gaurd.
"Please." Brooke pleaded softly.
"Okay." Haley agreed quietly. Brooke sent her a big smile full of gratitude. Haley grabbed her purse as they both headed towards the elevator.
Five minutes later, the two girls found themselves at the cafe. To say it was awkward would be a complete understatement. Haley was fidgeting with her hands while looking everywhere but at Brooke. Brooke didn't know what to say to her. She could tell how uncomfortable Haley was. She remembered how easy things used to be between them. They used to be able to talk about anything and everything.
"What's on your mind, Tigger?" Haley asked as she and Brooke were lounging out in Brooke's bedroom.
"Nothing." Brooke replied unconvincingly.
"Brooke, you can't hide anything from me. What's going on?" Haley prodded.
"Okay, I have been thinking about something. I haven't told anyone yet, and I actually did want to run it by you to see what you had to think." Brooke began as Haley nodded for her to continue. "So, I think I know what I want to do once we graduate from high school." She said.
"That's great! What is it?" Haley asked.
"Well, you know I have a love for shopping, and..."
"More like an obsession." Haley cut in jokingly.
"Watch it, Tutor Girl!" Brooke warned as she lightly shoved her. "No, I am thinking of designing some clothes." She said timidly.
"Brooke, that's perfect for you!" Haley gushed.
"Really?" Brooke asked skeptically.
"Yeah! Why are you so skeptical? You are always putting together clothes and accessories. This is something you were born to do, and you'd be amazing at it." Haley reassured.
"I actually have some clothes designed, and I've sewn them together." Brooke said.
"Well, what the heck are you waiting for? She me them." Haley pursisted. Brooke let out an excited little squeel and ran to her closet. She came back seconds later with four different styles of dresses. "Brooke, these are amazing!" Haley complimented as she examined the dresses.
"Really?" Brooke questioned once again.
"You've got to stop questioning yourself, Tigger. These are amazing. And you would be amazing doing something like this. And you're so passionate about fashion and stuff so something like this as a career would be perfect for you. You are incredibly talented, Brooke. You can do anything you want to in life. Quit doubting yourself. You want to design clothes, find a way to make it happen. And if you struggle, I'll be there to lend a helping hand." Haley said.
"Thanks, Hales. It really means a lot to me. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and for always being here for me. I don't know what to do to ever show you how much I appreciate it." Brooke said.
"You're doing it already. Just keep being here for me. And just keep being my best friend." Haley said as the two girls embraced in a tight hug.
"So, how's it going?" Brooke asked. She immediately rolled her eyes and groaned inwardly at her lame question.
Haley couldn't help but chuckle slightly at Brooke. She knew how hard she was trying. She wished she could just easily get passed everything. She felt bad for Brooke. She really did. But everytime she saw her, she couldn't help but think about everything that happened. She couldn't help but remember how poorly Brooke had treated her. And she also couldn't help but think about how when she needed her the most, she wasn't there. "It's going." She replied.
"The wedding was really beautiful." Brooke said.
"Yeah, it was." Haley agreed. 'Gosh, can't this end already?' She thought.
"I really like your roomates. They were so friendly." Brooke stated.
"Yeah. They're great girls. They're great friends." Haley said.
Brooke nodded softly. She knew Haley wasn't saying that to hurt her. It was just a statement. But she felt horrible the second those words poured out of her mouth. "So, aside from the magazine, how has everything been?" She asked.
"It's good. My life is so different from what I expected it to be, but not in a bad way. I'm really happy." Haley answered. She couldn't help but feel as if she lied just a tiny bit with that last sentence. She was happy, but she also knew there was something missing in her life.
The two girls found themselves in another uncomfortable silence. Brooke was contemplating whether or not to apologize to Haley. She wanted to, but she didn't want Haley to start pushing her away once again either. They were actually having a somewhat civilized conversation, and she didn't want to mess that up. But she wanted her friend back. And she knew the only way they could ever be friends like before was if they had actually talked about everything. "I'm sorry, Haley." She apologized quietly.
"We don't have to talk about that, Brooke." Haley mumbled uncomfortably.
"Yeah, we do. Please, just hear me out." Brooke pleaded softly. She watched as Haley hesitated for a second before nodding her head. "Haley, I am so sorry for the way I treated you after Nathan broke up with you. I felt so conflicted. You were my best friend, but he was my brother. I felt obligated to be on his side." She began.
"I never asked you to be on my side. I understood that he was your brother. But that didn't excuse you treating me the way you did." Haley countered.
"No, I know. You are completely right, and I'm sorry. I handled that situation so wrong, and if I could go back and change what I did, I would. I hate myself for treating you that way. You may not believe me, but I feel so guilty." Brooke said.
"I just, I...I do believe you, Brooke. I really do. But it doesn't take the hurt away. It doesn't make everything okay." Haley stated. Brooke nodded her head in understanding. "I really needed you, Brooke." Haley said quietly.
"I'm sorry. I should have been here for you. I really truly regret that." Brooke said. Haley knew she was being sincere. She knew Brooke, and she truly felt horrible. "I know I don't deserve it. But is there any chance you could forgive me and we could be friends again?" Brooke asked timidly.
"Maybe someday." Haley said giving her old friend some hope. Brooke smiled greatly in appreciation. "So, I never told you congratulations with your clothing line. It's really amazing, Brooke." Haley said after a few seconds.
"Thank you." Brooke said.
"Clothes over bros." Haley said quietly.
"Clothes over bros." Brooke repeated as the two girls smiled at one another.
After lunch, Haley found herself walking through the cemetary. It's been years since she's been out here. Actually, the last time she was here was when they buried her parents. She held a bouquet of lilies in her hands. Lilies were her mother's favorite flowers. She walked through all of the headstones before finding the two she was looking for. She sat down on the freshly cut green grass. She placed the flowers in between their two headstones and smiled as she looked between the two.
"Hey, dad. Hey, mom. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit. I just couldn't which is a horrible excuse, I know. It's just been so hard to come out here. I know it's final that you guys are gone, but it makes it real whenever I'm here. I mean, I'm pretty much literally sitting on you guys. Gosh, that sounds so morbid and horrible. But it's true. I see your names engraved in two blocks of stone, and that's all I have left of you guys. I know I still have memories and pictures and all of that, but it's not the same. I want you guys. I want you here with me. It's not fair. You were both so young and had so much life left to live. You were both so full of spirit. You guys were my inspiration. Your personalities and your marriage. The love you guys had for each other amazed me. I want that.
I need you guys here with me. I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be so full of spirit like you guys, but I'm not. It's all a facade. I really do love my life, and I love my friends and my job, but I'm different. I'm not the eternal optimist that I used to be. And I don't know how to get it back. I'm afraid that I'll never get it back. People think I have such an amazing life. I have a successful career which brings in a nice amount of money. And I am somewhat of a celebrity. But honestly, I never wanted this stuff. All I ever wanted was to fall in love, get married, have a couple kids, and be happy. Everything else would be just little perks. It's amazing how different things can change.
You know, I used you guys as my excuse not to come back to Tree Hill. I mean, you definitely played a major factor in why I haven't come back home all these years. But the truth was that I was still so hurt from the past. I was still upset with Lucas for being so close with Nathan after what he did to me. I was still angry with Nathan and with Brooke for what they did. I'm full of so much pain and heartache, and I don't know what to do anymore. The one person who could help me right now is back in California. I miss him so much. He's such an incredible person and an amazing friend. He's really been here for me these past five years. I honestly don't know what I would have done if he wasn't here.
I guess, I just miss you guys. I miss Lucas. I miss all of my friends. And I even miss Brooke and Nathan. I know I'm still holding onto what they did, and it's going to take me some time to get passed everything and forgive them. But I want to. I want to have my friendship with Brooke back. She was my best friend for thirteen years. How do you just forget about that and push all of those feelings aside? I miss Nathan everyday. And not just the romantic part of our relationship. We were once friends. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust him again. And I don't think I could ever open myself up to him once again in a romantic sense, not that he would want that either. We've put each other through too much, and I don't think we could ever get back to that point. But I want him in my life. He understood me in a way that only Julian understands me now.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just not fully appreciating what I do have and who I have to share it with. I just wish things were easier and not so difficult and confusing. Thanks for listening to me. I really needed to get that off my chest. I could probably go on and on, but I'll spare you guys. I just want you guys to know how much you mean to me. How much you've inspired me. You were the most amazing parents. You were totally crazy and dysfuntional-but amazing. I wouldn't have traded you guys in for anything. And I promise that I'll come home more often. It's time to stop running from my past. It's time to face it and live for the future. Wow, I sounded like a really cheesy inpirational speaker. But really, I'm going to visit more often. I love you and miss you guys everyday." Haley finished. She didn't leave, though. She just sat there. It was actually really nice and comforting.
"Well, well...my eyes must be deceiving me. I can't possibly be seeing Miss Haley James." A voice sounded breaking her out of her thoughts.
"Oh my gosh! Hi, Whitey!" Haley greeted standing up as the two embraced in a sweet hug.
"It's good to see you." Whitey stated.
"It's good seeing you, too." She returned as they broke out of their embrace. The two took a seat on a nearby bench. "So, are you visiting Camilla?" She asked.
"Yup." He answered. Haley smiled at the look of love in his eyes as he answered her. She knew how much he loved, well...still loves, his late wife. "What about you? Are you visiting your parents?" He asked.
"Yeah. Actually, it's the first time I've visited since their funerals." She admitted with a hint of guilt which Whitey definitely picked up on. He wrapped his right arm around her. "You know, it's hard. After Camilla died, I didn't visit her grave for a few months. It seemed too real and final. And I was still in denial and refusing to accept that she was actually gone. There isn't a right time limit for how you deal with things. And there's no right way either. You have to find the way and the time that works for you. And then, eventually, it gets easier. Let's face it-death doesn't come with an instruction manuel." He said.
"You know, Lucas always jokes that I need to come with an instruction manual. He's right in a way." She said as they both laughed.
"Well, that brother of yours wasn't that easy to deal with either. He doesn't get to say anything about you." Whitey countered jokingly. "So, what have you been up to these past years? I heard you've been pretty successful." He said.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She said.
"You know, I caught that interview you did on that celebrity show thing they have on television." He said causing her to laugh.
"What are you doing watching a show about celebrities?" She laughed.
"Oh you know, just trying to keep up with the youngsters." He said.
"Oh, I've missed you, Whitey." She said.
"Me, too. So, anyway, I saw your interview. I was very proud of you. You were very poised and very graceful with your answers. But then again, you were always that way. I never understood how a girl like you wound up with a guy like Nathan. But you changed him. He became such a caring and generous man after the two of you started dating. And I have to say, I was surprised when I heard of your breakup." He said gently.
"Yeah, I was surprised, too." She mumbled but he still heard.
"That boy was an idiot for ever letting you go. I know he misses you, though." He said as she looked to him suddenly. "He does. I've talked to him a couple of times since then, and he really misses you. I think he's still in love with you, too." He continued.
"I don't know, Whitey. Right now, I'm just going to try to maybe be friends with him again. We'll see what happens from there." She said.
"How long are you in town?" He asked changing the subject.
"For a couple of weeks. It's been really nice being home again." She said.
"That's good. You know, your parents were so proud of you." He said.
"Yeah." She mumbled quietly.
"They were. A couple weeks before their accident, I ran into them at the cafe. I asked them how both you and Lucas were doing. They said Lucas was doing great. He was in his senior year at UNC and working on a novel. They said some more about him, but I won't go into detail on that one." He winked at her as she laughed. "Then, they started talking about you. They told me you were in your third year at Stanford, and you were still just as scholarly as in high school. They said if you were graduated that year, it would be Summa Cum Laude. I have to ask, did you?" He asked.
"Yeah, I did." She blushed.
"Wow, that's impressive. Congratulations." He said as she smiled. "But they just went on and on about how proud of you they were. And the way they talked about you and Lucas, was so full of pride and love. They loved you guys very much. And they are looking down at the both of you now, and they are still very proud. They're with you guys every single day. And they may be gone physically, but they're not gone. They're still living within you. And don't you dare forget that. The second you forget that is when you'll lose faith and hope. Believe me, I've been there. It's no place to be." He said.
"Thank you, Whitey." Haley said as a couple tears ran down her cheeks.
"Where have you been?" Nathan asked as Brooke walked into the house. "Nevermind." He commented after seeing her hands full of shopping bags. "Don't you ever get tired of shopping, Brooke?" He asked semi-serious/semi-joking.
"For your information, I shop to get new ideas for MY clothing line." She countered as he shook his head. "And there was a sale." She mumbled quietly.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" He asked amused.
"Shut up, okay. So, I love to shop. I have the money, and I can do whatever I want with it." She said.
"Okay, Brooke." He laughed.
"I actually haven't been shopping all day." She said.
"What else have you been doing?" He asked disinterested.
"I had lunch with Haley." She revealed.
"Really?" He asked suddenly very interested.
"Yeah. I took a chance and went by her hotel room today and asked her to go grab some lunch. She was hesitant at first, but she came. We had a chance to talk. I mean, there's still a lot we have to talk about and work through, but she said she's going to try." She said with an excited smile.
"That's great, Brooke." He said.
"So, what about you? You're not giving up on her, are you?" She asked.
"Brooke, just let it go." He said.
"You are, aren't you?" She accused angrily.
"No, Brooke. I'm just not going to go chasing her. I don't want to push her, and I'm just going to let her come to me." He said.
"Maybe you should chase her this time." She suggested.
"What?" He asked confused.
"Maybe you should chase her. In the past, you just let her go. And I get why, I really do. But Nathan, nothing's stopping you now. You love her. And even though I don't know her like I used to, I believe she still loves you. Maybe what she wants is for you to actually chase after her this time. What's stopping you from going after what you really want? You told me once that the only things you want in life is to play in the NBA and to be with Haley. There's nothing stopping you from getting her. And I think it's time for Haley to know the truth now. She deserves to know. And she deserves to have you chase after her and show her that you still love her." She said.
Nathan turned his head away from his sister. He knew on some level she was right. Haley does deserve to know the truth. But should he tell her how he feels? Sure, he just found out that she wasn't dating Julian or anyone for that matter. But she has this whole other life now. One that doesn't include him. She lives in Los Angeles. He lives in New York. How would they ever be able to make a relationship work? And who's to say she even wants a relationship with him. Her forgiving him and trying to be friends is one thing, but starting up another romantic relationship is a whole other thing.
"Well, well, if it isn't my invisible son." A voice sounded causing both Nathan and Brooke to look up. They both cringed at the sight of their father. "You're actually out of your bedroom while you're home. What's the special occasion?" He bit out sarcastically.
Nathan rolled his eyes and stood up from the couch and began to walk out of the living room.
"Oh, come on, Nathan. Stay and have a chat with your old man." Dan taunted.
"Leave him alone, dad." Brooke spoke.
"What? I just want to have a nice father/son chat. Even you can stay, Brooke. We should get your mother, and we'll make a night of it. What do you guys say?" He said.
"No, thanks." Brooke said.
"Hey, Nathan." Dan called out stopping Nathan from walking completely out of the living room. Nathan turned around and glared at his father while waiting for him to continue. "I have something for you, son." Dan said handing an envelope over to him.
Nathan hesitantly opened the envelope and pulled out a stack of photos. He flipped through them just to see a bunch of pictures of Haley and Julian together. "What the hell is this? Do you think this is just a sick little game to you?" He shot out angrily.
"What? I'm doing you a favor, son. I'm just proving to you what a great decision you made back then. She's moved on. It's time for you to do the same. Look at the pictures, Nathan. The pictures don't lie." Dan said.
"Take your damn pictures and stay the hell out of my life!" Nathan warned while hurling the pictures in his father's face.
"Oh, don't be upset. It's not like Haley will actually forgive you for breaking her heart anyway. What you did all of those years ago is completely unforgivable. She's better off without yo..." Dan was interrupted and fell to the ground after Nathan threw a hard right punch into his jaw.
"You don't look at her! You don't talk about her! And you don't even comprehend to think about her! You understand me? Stay the hell away from her, and stay the hell away from me!" Nathan warned angrily before hastily leaving the room. He grabbed the keys to his rental car and ran out of the house ignoring Brooke's calls for him to stop. He felt like he was suffocating. And quite honestly, he feared he would actually kill has father if he stayed in that house for even a second longer. He peeled out of his driveway and just drove. He took the back country roads and sped. He dared any cop to pull him over at the moment.
An hour later, he found himself sitting on a picnic table on the Market Street Dock. He was sitting on top of the table with his feet planted on the bench. His elbows were resting on his thighs with his chin placed in his hands. He gazed out at the water. How did his life get to this point? Most people would think he has the perfect life. He's one of the hottest NBA stars right now. He makes millions of dollars a year. He lives in New York. He has great friends. He has great family-with the exception of his father. But those people would be wrong. The one thing he wanted in his life, he didn't have. She was the only person who he truly felt one hundred percent happy with. He closed his eyes plagued with memories of her and them together. And for the first time in years, he cried. He didn't know how long he cried nor did he care. And he didn't care who saw him crying. He needed to let out everything he was feeling. He needed to cry. Though, what he really needed right now-was her.
"Nathan?" A voice sounded.
He looked to his left and was left speechless at who he saw.
"Are you okay?" She asked with her voice full of concern.
"Haley." He whispered almost inaudibly.
Haley cautiously walked closer until she was standing directly in front of him. "Nathan, are you okay?" She asked softly while placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. She waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He stared at her for a couple seconds before he quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him as he cried into her shoulder. She was caught off gaurd, and she didn't quite know what to do. As much as she wanted to run away, she couldn't. She wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his hold on her tighten as he drew her in even closer to him. Neither one said anything. They just held onto each other as if they would never see each other ever again.
I know, don't hate me for where I left off. The next chapter is going to be most Naley. There will be come flashbacks as well as in the present. It wasn't quite as long as I was thinking, but I wanted to leave off there. And I was going to include a Dan/Brooke scene, but I think I'm going to save it for the next chapter. Anyway, let me know what you guys think. Hopefully, I'll have another chapter up tomorrow.