CHAPTER TEN: Nudity, Stink Bugs, and the Knicks
May slept until noon, then set about her regular routine, tv blasting her favorite shows while she cleaned, though there wasn't much to do as the turtles had been hospitable houseguests and cleaned up after themselves. When evening rolled around, she walked the four blocks to the hotline. Despite the sadness of the callers, May's spirits were uplifted.
Just after eleven she left the building and headed home. Out of habit, she glanced upward, hoping to catch sight of a ninja, but sadly, there were no such shadows. She had barely gotten into her apartment and secured all the latches when there was a familiar tap on the window. Racing across the room, she lowered the lights and opening the window to allow Leo in.
May glanced behind him, but he was alone. "Where's the guys?"
"Patrol," Leo said. "Wanted to make sure you got home alright before I join them."
May adored her big green defender. His protectiveness was quite charming.
"Were they wired up after the games this morning?" May asked.
"Actually, we all slept in. Master Splinter said he checked on us twice to make sure we didn't slip into comas." Leo laughed. "Oh, and Mikey offered to pay for that thing he broke with his pizza allowance."
"It's really no big deal." May waved him off. She had been trying to think of something to solidify her win, but nothing had come to mind. Other than menial housework. And somehow that didn't seem right. Suddenly, an idea occurred. "Hey, you said you like basketball, right?"
"Yeah," Leo said, crossing his arms over his plastron and regarding the short woman skeptically. "Why?"
"Do you like the Knicks?"
"Yeah," Leo said slowly. He was starting to get worried.
"Well, for losing in the tournament, the four of you must go to a game with me."
Leo wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. It was a sweet gesture. But not wise on the execution. "We'd love to, but we can't exactly sit in the stands. People will freak. They aren't fearless and accepting like you. They'll scream, faint, and stampede to get away."
"Have people done that to you?" May asked, placing her hand on his arm.
Leo stared at the tiny white hand in stark contrast to his own dark green skin. It didn't seem fair. But then again, nothing in life was promised to be fair or easy. He sighed. "A few times, yeah."
Heartache made May want to smack the people who had acted so callously toward Leo and his brothers. They were only turtles, for crying out loud! It wasn't as if they were giant spiders or praying mantises. Those would be horror beyond imagining. But...turtles?
"I'm sorry people were so cruel to you," she said, her thumb stroking his forearm. She marveled at his scaly skin. It amazed her that he was so warm. And strong. All muscle and bundled cords. Strength enough to crush her in a single blow. Yet, never using that strength against her.
"Humans fear what they do not understand." Leo parroted his dad's wisdom. He lulled into a relaxed state, eyes drifting closed. A sense of peace and safety covered him like a blanket.
May suppressed a giggle at Leo's lethargy. She was sure he'd start purring in contentment at any second.
Leo cracked open his eyes, coming out of his trance.
"Sorry, thought you were going to nod off," May quipped.
Leo shook off the warm blanket that had fallen on him. "I better get going. The guys will wonder where I am." He opened the window. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," May said. "Oh, and Leo?"
"Yeah?" he asked, half in, half out. His mouth was quirked in a grin. He knew what was coming.
"Be safe out there."
"Yes, Ma'am," he said softly, disappearing into the dark.
The next afternoon, May took several trips down the ladder, bags of food swinging from her arms. She learned her lesson about cumbersome pizza boxes. From now on when she brought food, it would be bagged. She was almost in the lair when it struck her how easily she navigated the sewers and how quickly she had adapted to using them. Despite the smell, which wasn't as bad as she thought, considering it was mostly storm drains, it was quite peaceful below ground. The sounds of traffic and yelling people were muted to a hum in the background.
She rounded the corner and heard a hearty splash coming from the next room. Bags swinging on her bony arms, she followed the sound until she saw a green head pop up out of no where. She just gained the edge and noticed the turtle wasn't wearing any mask, and as she neared; his shoulders, chest, and waist came into view, he wasn't wearing anything else.
Totally naked turtle.
"Bad time?" she said, before she saw something she'd regret.
There was a scared yelp, then the turtle completely retracted into his shell. It wobbled on the stone for a moment then settled inert on the edge of the pool.
May stepped forward, seeing the lonesome shell and wondered how in the world such a large person could fit into such a compact space.
"Dammit, Mikey," Leo snapped, storming over to the couch and removing a blanket. He went to the unmoving shell and draped the blanket across the lower half.
Head and arms appeared, then in a move so fluid and graceful it was shocking to find it coming from a turtle, he rolled to his side and over, dragging the blanket around him. Legs popped out and elegantly gained his feet and ran to his room, the blanket wrapped expertly around his waist.
"He keeps hoping April will catch him," Leo said, shaking his head after his brother's retreat.
"Not to worry," May said, holding up her arms to cue Leo into helping her. He immediately rushed to her, taking most of the bags. "Wouldn't be the first naked body I've seen. Just didn't want to embarrass him." She winked at Leo.
"Highly doubtful," Leo informed her, leading her to the kitchen. "What smells so good?"
Splinter entered the room, his long nose twitching. "My dear, you do not need to feed us every time you visit. You are perfectly welcome here without bringing food."
"Leo saved my life. Food is the least I could do by way of reward." May shooed Leo to the side and began to empty the bags. "I have two buckets of fried chicken. Mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, two dozen rolls, some sort of broccoli and cauliflower with cheese casserole thing, and I stopped at a bakery and bought five dozen assorted cookies and an apple pie."
"Such things are unnecessary," Splinter said, scowling when Raph appeared and began to open containers. The red clad turtle paused, giving his father a sheepish expression. "I taught my sons to do what is right, regardless of reward."
"And they do," May assured the rat. "But this is something I wanted to do. Don't you get tired of pizza all the time?"
"Bite your tongue," Mikey said, fully dressed, joining their group, his eyes zeroed in on the abundant food. "Nothing can beat pizza, but this sure makes a turtle think."
"Well, if it isn't our favorite exhibitionist," May grinned, earning a jaw drop from Mikey. "Surprised you didn't jiggle in here wanting your shell buffed with turtle wax."
Mikey recovered quickly, face splitting into a grin. "Well, I have some, if you'd be so inclined."
May smacked him on the shell. "Well, I'll do the bonnet, but you get your undercarriage!"
Laughter filled the room. Mikey scooped May up and nuzzled her neck, making her squeal. "How I told you lately I love you?"
May played along, completely immune to the flirty turtle. "I know, dear, but my heart belongs to a stink bug."
Mikey sighed, setting May down. "Well, as long as he treats you right. Hey, Leo?" He shoved May toward Leo. "Be a good stink bug and thank your girlfriend for the food."
Leo sputtered, brain not quite catching up to form coherent words. May noticed his discomfort and decided to torment him further. She threw her arms around his waist, as far as she could given the size of his shell, and smiled up at him.
"You're my favorite stink bug. But if you cheat on me, I'll leave you for a caterpillar," she said, somehow managing to keep a stern face.
Unfortunately, Raph couldn't contain his laughter. His chest shook with mirth and his eyes began to water from the sheer terror on Leo's face. It was beyond priceless. Even Master Splinter was laughing.
"Did I mention I crawl really sexy?" Mikey put in hopefully.
May laughed, giving Leo a hug before releasing him. He blinked, frozen into place, the memory of her hug lingering.
"Dig in guys," May said, accepting a plate from Raph, who grinned mischievously at her. "Oh, and before I forget," she pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Raph, who took it, squinting at the paper as if it had offended him, "that's a seating chart of Madison Square Gardens. Since I won the tourney, I decided my prize. You guys have to watch one game of the Knicks with me this coming season."
"And why do we need a map of the Gardens?" Raph asked, opening it to indeed find a seating chart. There was also a red line that ran from one side, all along the upper deck that lead to a far corner with a small space highlighted.
"To find your way around," May said, putting a couple drumsticks on her plate. Leo dropped a scoop of mashed potatoes next to her chicken, then ladled out his own portion. Mikey handed her silverware and a wide, innocently wicked smile. May ignored him. "You're going to see the games. Live!"
Raph exchanged a glance with Leo. They already saw the games live. Only no one else knew that.
Leo sighed. "May, I told you, we can't let people see us. They'll freak out."
Mikey's jocularity subsided at the admission.
"Duh! That map is the way to get my skybox. You can sneak in and out and no one will see you," May said, grabbing four white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies and placed them on her plate. "You're going to watch the games with me. As my guests. It's my box. I can do what I want with it."
"You?...You have...?" Mikey was slow to process the info. The other turtles were slow too, including Donnie, who had arrived in time to hear the announcement of a private skybox.
"Well, I prefer the Rangers, but I've slowly evolved into a Knicks fan." May ventured to the table where Splinter was already seated. He regarded her in a mysterious way. "Bought the box about two years ago. Season ticket holder for Rangers and Knicks. So I can use it whenever I want."
Mikey dropped to his knees and crawled over to May. "This caterpillar humbly begs for the beautiful maiden to marry him and take him to live far away, high in a skybox."
May laughed, planting a kiss to the top of Mikey's head. "I would, but your father disapproves."
Mikey cast a dirty look to Splinter, but the rat held his ground.
"She's taking advantage of your youth," Splinter said, playing it up and earning hearty laughter from May and the other turtles.
Mikey crawled to Splinter and stage whispered. "I know. I was kinda hoping she'd take advantage of me."
Splinter sighed at his youngest and most incorrigible son.
"Cheating on me already?" came a female voice.
Everyone turned to find April standing in one of the tunnels. April's arms were crossed, her full lips pouty.
Mikey's humor faded, remembering she was now dating Casey. "Well, you cheated on me first, so I'm on the rebound."
April smirked at the craziness of Michelangelo. She waltzed into the kitchen, sniffing the banquet that was displayed in take-out containers. "Since when do you guys prefer chicken over pizza?"
"May kindly brought us some lunch," Raph said, filling up his own plate and seating himself next to May. She all but hid in his shadow.
May sensed his change in attitude. She touched his arm, brow creased with worry over what had him so upset. His hardened expression softened drastically as he gave a little jerk of his head to ward off any questions. May bumped his shoulder affectionately and took one of the cookies from her plate to put on Raph's.
"Oh, you must be the girl Leo likes," April said, stepping forward and holding out her hand. "Bout time we get some new blood around here. Testosterone is stinking the place up. I'm April."
"May," she said, shaking hands with the pretty brunette.
"Wow! All we need is June," April laughed.
"That's what I said!" Mikey piped up, finally collecting some food.
"And Augusta," May added, looping an arm around Raph. "For Grumpy here."
Raph made a noise between a laugh and a growl.
April's penciled brow arched. Raph wasn't the easiest turtle to get along with, let alone be comfortable enough to joke. He could be extremely aggressive and mistrustful, and in April's personal experience, slow to forgive. There were times when he was cordial toward her, then other times, like now, he was cold, aloof. She learned to give him space when he was in such a mood.
"You hungry?" Donnie asked, loading up a plate. "There's plenty."
"No thanks," April said. "I stopped by to tell you the curator said there was one thing missing from the list of stolen items," April removed a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Donnie, "it was from a private collection, so the curator didn't add it to the main manifest."
Donnie put down his plate to open the paper. There were pictures from every angle, along with a brief history of the piece, but it appeared to be a plain, heavy basin. Exactly as the countless others, only slightly larger. The pictograms were the same as what had been found on other pieces of recovered pottery, Donnie practically memorizing the crude shapes from going over the data several times in search for something he may have missed.
"I'll run it through the computer, see what pops up," Donnie said, tucking the paper into his pocket and grabbing a glass of tea from the fridge.
"Appreciate it, buddy," April said, then narrowed her eyes at Leo, who was piling up a plate full of casserole. "And one more thing, has Casey mentioned anything about you guys following me on assignments?"
Leo paused, knowing he was in dangerous waters. He didn't want to give anything away and betray Casey's trust, but if April was already aware, he didn't want to appear disloyal.
"He stopped by earlier and inquired of your safety, but I assured him, the watch Donnie made has a homing beacon and panic button. You push it, we'll be there within minutes."
April regarded the blue clad turtle for a moment. Finally deciding he was telling the truth, she nodded. "Good. I told him there's nothing to worry about, but he doesn't believe me. He thinks I can't take care of myself."
Turtles and rat remained quiet on that issue. No way were they going to dispute the woman.
May however, didn't completely support her gender. "Most times, women can handle themselves. Other times," she smiled at Leo, "we need to be rescued from the bad guys."
April sighed in disagreement, but held her tongue, as Leo was smiling at the small red head. It was strange, seeing him so relaxed and happy. Usually he was wound too tight. Always putting his brothers through training exercises and barking orders to correct their mistakes. He was more of a drill sergeant than a team member at times. It was strange to see an easy going, laid back, domesticated Leo.
Wanting the attention on himself, Mikey piped in. "You should have been here earlier, April. I was taking a bath." He waggled his brow suggestively.
"Oh my!" April feigned intrigue. She knew Mikey was all bluster. "I don't know if my heart could have taken the sight!"
May leaned out from Raph's shadow, winking at April. "You didn't miss anything."
"Ah!" Mikey visible deflated. He stared incredulously at May. She blew him a kiss and a cheeky smirk. "That's harsh."
"Accurate," Raph grunted, finishing his plate to grin at his little brother.
"I'll make it up at the Knicks game," May said. "Pizza, nachos, hot dogs, popcorn, drinks."
Mikey's eyes grew wider by the food selection. "Deal!" He cocked a grin toward April, "May here has season tickets to Knicks and Rangers in a skybox. Maybe you should tell Casey. I'm sure he'd love to go to the games with her."
April frowned. She knew Mikey would joke and pretend he had a chance with her, but he knew she was serious with Casey. It bothered her he would try to set her boyfriend up with someone else. She was going to have to have a long, stern lecture with him.
"Actually, I would rather have you guys," May said, then nodded to Splinter. "And Splinter too, if you wanna come to the games."
"Your generosity is appreciated," Splinter said kindly. He used his tail to smack Mikey under the table without anyone noticing. "However, sports do not appeal to me."
"Well, if you wanna go, you are most definitely welcome," May said, finishing off her food and leaning back. Her chair rocked slightly with the motion.
April checked her watch. "Errggg, gotta go. Going on location to the local zoo for another puff piece. Boss thinks all the reporting I do on the thefts is bad for ratings, so now I have to go interview a zookeeper."
"Stereotyping, huh?" Donnie smirked. April did tend to cover stories with a darker nature now that she was considered a 'serious' reporter. She had taken several pictures and video during Krang's invasion, omitting the turtles, but when she showed the footage to new woman in charge of Channel Six, she had gotten her old job back. With a small raise.
"As long as we maintain ratings, who cares, right?" April quipped. "If you find out anything, you know how to get a hold of me."
Donnie waved. Mikey let out a dreamy sigh.
"Nice meeting you," April called to May.
"You too!" May emerged from Raph's shadow, waving genially.
Leo glanced around to the now empty plates and said, "Training time."
Three voices groaned in unison.
"We'll start with an hour of meditation, then go from there," Leo said, rising from the table to put his plate in the sink. His brothers followed his lead, moseying behind him into the training room.
Mikey lagged behind. "Want to come watch us work out, babe?"
May sniggered. "Some other time."
Mikey opened his mouth to speak but someone grabbed his shell and dragged him away.
May pointed to the sink full of dishes. "I'll wash, you dry?"
"Agreed," Splinter said, picking up a dishtowel.
When they were finished, May left without saying goodbye to the turtles, citing the need for them to concentrate and not wanting to disrupt their routine. Splinter escorted her to a drain several blocks away. She gave him a gentle hug and took her leave to get ready for her shift at the hotline later that evening.