A/N: Soooo sorry that I haven't updated in awhile. Real life has been very stressful and there have been a few family emergencies. Thanks to all for sticking around and being patient. Please do enjoy!

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

-"Ever the same" Rob Thomas

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Stepping through his apartment door, Booth stretched his sore muscles, the ache of walking all night overtaking the pain of his bruised knuckles. Noticing the glow of his hall lamp, the tired man wandered curiously towards the object, taking in the warmth of his home. A shadow lay strewn across the white carpet, his bedroom door ajar. Booth peeked into the room, a gasp of surprise breaking the stiff air.

Splatters of color haloed her sleeping form, her arms twisted around an expensive, tearstained suit. Waning glow from the full moon sifted past the wood shutters, lighting the scene in a gloomy white.

Booth stumbled forward, falling on his knees, her shallow breathing drawing him closer. He was hooked. Her scent driving him crazy with lust, the shine of her smooth skin blinding all thought into a distant emptiness. Clamping his wavering mouth shut, Booth edged backwards, his back one with the wall, as far away as possible.

Suppressing the gathering urge to hold her, to love her, Booth shoved his head into the trembling, confused hands of a lost man. Grinding his teeth, Booth angrily wished for his conscious to reappear so a fate of cataclysmic proportions would not be shattered by a voiceless beat of a selfish desire. His head not his heart was meant to decide the road traveled.

A whimper caught Booth's attention and he cinched forward on his hands and knees, a cautious worry in his movement. Brennan fidgeted in the nest of crumpled clothing, her pale, icy fingers gripping the red tie hanging limp from her neck.

The whimpers climaxed into high-pitched wails. Kicking and punching as she fought off her nighttime terror, Brennan's ashen cheeks became drenched in cold tears as Booth pulled her up out of the bundle of clothes. Booth pressed her squirming body flush against his, his urgent voice stealing her attention, the frightening hysteria forgotten in the mysterious crevices of her dream.

Gently falling to the floor, Booth cradled the sobbing woman, his hands drawing comforting circles across her back, her pajama's damp with sweat.

"Bones…hey…are you alright…"

Bones. My god. Halting all movement, Brennan clung to the enigmatic man in silence, unable to break from her shocked trance.

"Bones…"

Gulping audibly, Brennan slowly let go of his warm body and gradually backed away from his shoulder and into his view. Blue met brown. Buried sparks of sexual desire resurfaced as shaking lips formed hollow words. She couldn't breath. The weight of his gleaming, brilliant eyes piercing her soul swept her out of reality and into the eternal hallway of doors leading to thousands of fabricated dreams. This was one of those doors. One more lie. One more attempt at making her miserable.

Eyes still searching his unblinking ones for an answer, Brennan brushed her fingers over his face making him quiver.

Yet, when she touched him he didn't vanish, he didn't fade away into the scenery as if he'd never been. She could feel his hot breath, taste his fervor, see the life in his black eyes; this was real.

"You're alive…" Her lips lurched forward, driven by an inescapable passion. Instead of meeting her delight, Booth tore himself out of her hold and scooted backwards into the shadowed corner.

Bathed in the dull white moonlight, Brennan cocked her head to the side, sitting in dumbfounded silence. "What…Why…"

Pacing along an invisible line, Booth struggled to answer her questions. "This can't happen. Us. I can't let it happen."

Angry and confused, Brennan stood up, hands settled on her hips, eyes holding back an ocean of misery. "What are you talking about Booth?"

Stumbling for a momentary second at the sound of his name, he continued his nervous tirade. "Bones, you've moved on. You're with Liam now and…"

"That's not…"

"Stop. Let me finish. I don't fit into your life anymore Bones and to expect you to just start over because I'm back…I just…it's a lie." Brennan could hardly comprehend what Booth was telling her.

"Booth stop…"

"No! When I left that night Bones that goodbye…it was meant to be forever. I was supposed to die, but instead I somehow escaped that fate and now I'm being punished for my sins."

Brennan stared at Booth incredulously. "Punished?"

Booth grabbed at his head, the aching buzz in his ears causing trails of stinging droplets to leave behind red streaks across his skin. "My mind Bones! I'm losing my fucking mind; I'm going crazy trying to cling to any ounce of sanity that's left! I can't think anymore and it hurts…my god it hurts! It's torture Bones and I have to live with it because I'm a goddamn murderer!"

Rushing over to Booth, Brennan placed her hands on his cheeks, attempting to calm him. "Booth you're not a murderer! This country asked you to kill people. It wasn't your choice it was your duty as a soldier!" Eyes wide, Booth shook his head dubiously, backing out of her reach and toward the doorway.

"You said yourself Bones that there is no gray area when it comes to killing people—innocent or not! Why should you look upon me any different than the rest of the murderers out there, I don't deserve your sympathy!" Booth relaxed his body and looked disgracefully at the upset love-of-his-life standing absently in front of him. He was going to tell her the biggest lie to ever pass his lips; one that would severe all hope. "I wish I could take back everything that happened between us that night. Everything." He said it. The stunned look on her face was killing him, tearing him to pieces, but she would understand soon enough that what he was doing was for her benefit. He was putting them on the right path, the right future. Booth turned away from her, incapable of meeting her gaze and walked out of the bedroom and into the hallway. "Goodbye."

He was leaving her; abandoning her once more. The rage of having her heart broken by this man left her in a shattered mess like the broken glass of the mirror lying dead on the floor. Brennan sprinted towards Booth, yanking his arm around so he was facing her. His eyes were still glued to floor and she had to push his chin up so she could see what he truly felt. His eyes were the gateway to his emotions, but all she saw was black.

"Take it back Booth. You don't mean it; I know you don't mean it!"

"Yes I do."

Brennan shoved her finger into his chest, pushing him against the wall, the small lamp rocking under the pressure. "How dare you say that you regret what happened between us! How dare you rip away the one thing that has kept me going these past three years! The only thing that's given me hope! Why won't you look at me!?" Booth squeezed out of her restraint once more and tried to walk towards the front door, but Brennan intercepted his attempt.

"Damnit Bones, I'm stuck in the past! I can't move on, there's no future with me! Why don't you understand that!?" The angry pair was on the verge of losing all control. Their faces centimeters apart, hands running up and down each other trembling arms, eyes closed against the waves of desire riding on their ragged breathing.

"Booth, don't think about the consequences. Just show me that you feel something…anything."

"I've forgotten how to feel."

"Than let me help you remember."

Lips colliding with his, Brennan gave way to the bursting flood of yearning that had been drowning her, drinking him in as if she'd die without his taste. She was all over him; an aggressive fervor she'd never been privy to dictating her every move. Lips, jaw, neck, her assertive kisses claimed every inch of his face, while her dancing hands roved hungrily under his shirt, ripping the offending article off his chest.

Lifting her head, Brennan groaned with pleasure as Booth peppered her neck with heated kisses. Picking her up in his bare arms and kicking off his shoes, Booth carried the smiling woman into the bedroom, her eyes clouded over with lust. Falling onto the bed, the pair laughed with passionate glee as the shirts billowed around them, encircling them in a cloud of black and white.

Tugging off the rest the clothing, Brennan noticed the life returning to Booth's eyes, the gleam of love eclipsing the dark becoming something she could no longer resist. Tired of years of emotional and physical distance and with body's openly begging for each other, Booth pulled the pleading woman to him, finally uniting the restless pair in a burst of elated ecstasy.

She was his antidote; his relief from the poison that had seeped deep within his body and soul. Layers of pain, death, rejection, stripped away with every healing touch. He could feel his sanity returning with every kiss and he thanked her by giving himself to her, by satisfying their longing and loneliness through his passionate loving. Together they were alive, together they were capable of love, but Booth knew the minute they were apart his punishment would seek vengeance for disobeying the chosen fate and incur its wrath on the lives of the two lovers.