Dear Doctor Turner,
I was thinking about you and thought I would write another letter. While wearing my habit and at a crossroad in my life, I will write what is truly in my heart and mind to you. I am sure I will wonder if I am doing the right thing, but the Lord knows what is going on in my head. If anything, I am sure it will ease the burden if I write it down.
When Nurse Franklin came to visit, with Timothy's butterfly, as she was walking out the door, she told me that she almost forgot but "Dr Turner sends his regards. Cheerio, Sister!" I had been trying to ask without asking how you were and there went the opportunity. I had asked how everyone was and hoped she would tell me about every individual and get to you eventually but she did not. I knew all I had to do was open your letters but, as I was not ready at that time.
In my last letter, I said I was experiencing something more powerful than the longing for activities I cannot participate in as a nun. The truth is, doctor, when I see you, think of you, look into your eyes, I have to remind myself to breathe and I can hear my heart beating in my eardrums. It's so strong, I wonder if anyone else can hear it too. This has been coming on pretty gradually and I am tired of trying to fight it. I thought it would be enough to love God and I would be content with only Him. I do love God but there are other kinds of love and I cannot help but love you.
I am so glad you persevered with writing. Now that I read them, they comfort me and lift my spirits. I wish I felt I could mail these letters to let you know that I do indeed care for you but I cannot tell you that right now. I still do feel guilty about the idea or breaking by vows, but less so as I consider God's plans for me.
I am thinking that, if you were to receive these letters in the future, I would no longer be a nun. Perhaps I should sign them with the name my parents gave me, Shelagh. After all, that is what you and everyone else would call me. I do so wonder what the "P" stands for that you sign your letter with, Doctor "P" Turner. I may find out one day.
With love,
Shelagh
Please review. I'd love to know what you think. By the way, I slightly edited chapter 6 as I wanted to put something else in there about why Dr T loves Sis B.