Author's Note: We're nearing the end now. Three more chapters left after this one. I hope you all like this part.
Rachel and Puck were doing a very good job of pretending that they hadn't almost had sex a few weeks earlier. Puck still showed up for his babysitting duties and didn't act like anything had almost happened between them, didn't even let it show that he'd admitted to being crazy about her. He even still showed up unexpectedly on days he wasn't babysitting Finn, just to hang out with the both of them. He didn't push to talk about what had happened, what almost happened, about her freaking out and throwing him out of the apartment. She pretended she didn't notice his lingering and longing looks, so basically everything was back to normal.
"Hello, Rachel?" A man asked on the phone, sounding uncertain that it actually would be her. She recognised the voice from somewhere but just wasn't sure where from or who it was. "I got your number from Blaine, I hope that's alright." The man added and she rose her eyebrows in surprise, wondering why this person would have gotten her number off of one of her best friend's boyfriend who also happened to be her babysitters best friend.
"Well I'd be able to tell you if it was okay if I knew who this was." She told him, not sounding as harsh as the words were. She was more curious than anything else about who this man was, why he was calling and why he'd gotten her number from Blaine,of all people.
"Oh sorry. This is Will. Will Schuester. Puck's friend." He explained in embarrassment. The face came back to match the voice she hadn't been able to put a name to at that and she smiled. She knew who he was now, remembering the charming nightclub owner Puck had introduced her to on that infamous night. She wondered why he'd had to get her number from Blaine instead of Puck himself.
"Of course. I'm terribly sorry for not realising. How are you, Will?" She asked. She still didn't know why on Earth he was calling. Oh God, she hoped that he wasn't calling to ask her out on a date. Not only would that be terribly awkward because he was friends with Puck but also because she just wasn't interested in trying for a relationship right now.
(Like that wasn't completely obvious from the whole Puck fiasco.)
"No, it's no problem. I should have said who I was from the beginning." He told her. "And, um, I'm good. How are you, Rachel?" He asked. He seemed nervous and she was now sure that he was calling to ask her out on a date. She felt that she had to put a stop to that immediately.
"I'm very well, thank you Will. If I could just be blunt for a moment?" She asked and he hummed in agreement, sounding a little curious. "While you seemed like a very nice man and certainly attractive, I feel I must inform you that I'm just not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you." She told him as gently as she could. She was surprised to hear him burst into laughter in response.
"Okay, I can see where you would have gotten the impression that I was calling to ask you on a date, but believe me when I say that's not the case at all. I'm married, actually. Very happily married." He said with a chuckle. She frowned because in her experience that didn't really mean anything where men were concerned. She realised Jesse may have messed her up even more than she'd thought. "Plus I don't have a death wish." He told her, talking about the obvious interest Puck had in her. She either didn't understand what he was talking about or chose to simply ignore it.
"So why are you calling me?" She asked in confusion. There had to be a reason for him calling.
"Right. Well, I'm sure Puck told you all about the reasons I'm not a performer as soon as you left, right?" He asked and she hummed the affirmative. Truthfully that was her fault for prying but he didn't know that. "Well I still have some of my contacts from back then and... well I was talking about you and you're just so good..." He said, trailing off. She rose her eyebrows, wondering where he was going with this.
"Thank you. But what is it you did?" She asked, wanting to get him to stop rambling. She had a feeling he was rambling because he was nervous.
"Puck would kill me if he knew I was doing this without first making sure you were ready but... I got you an audition for something." He explained and while that was a confirmation of her suspicions (and an explanation of why he'd gotten Blaine to give him her number instead of Puck) she still gasped.
"I don't know what to say." She told him honestly, looking over at Finn playing on his play mat and biting her lip. She honestly wasn't sure if she was ready. But then again, if she wasn't ready now when would she ever be ready? She didn't simply want to be a vocal teacher for the rest of her life, Broadway was her dream.
"How about saying you're ready to jump back in and thank me for getting you an audition?" He offered teasingly.
"You're right. Thank you so much for getting me an audition, Will." She said, a bright smile coming to her face.
He gave her the information for the time and place the audition was going to take place. Thankfully the audition was taking place on a Wednesday morning. She had an afternoon dance class that day and Puck babysat for her, she was sure that if she asked him to that he'd come earlier, even if he had to take Finn out with him in his cab for a little while. She wasn't going to tell him about the audition yet, or anyone for that matter, because she didn't want anyone getting her hopes up too high. This was just an audition, nothing more, and she might not even get the role. Heck she didn't even know what show it was for. She figured it didn't really matter because this was just something she was doing to jump back in there.
On the morning of the audition, Puck arrived early to pick up Finn. He was going to have to ride around with him in his cab for a while until the time he usually went to Rachel's to babysit. She'd told him she had some errands to run to explain why he needed to take Finn for her and he believed her (why wouldn't he, really). Once he was gone she got ready for the audition and left as soon as possible, arriving there early. The casting agent told her they just had to wait for the director so she sat and waited patiently.
Her eyes widened when Jesse walked in. He didn't look surprised to see her and she knew that he'd known that the person who was auditioning for him was her while she'd had no idea he was going to be there. She got up hurriedly, turning and storming out of the room. She really wished that she'd asked for specifics about the play now.
"Rachel, please wait." Jesse begged, running after her. He grabbed her arm in the hallway and held her back. "How's Tim?" He asked, giving her the same caring look that used to make her swoon. Now it just made her want to punch him in the nose.
"Finn. Your son's name is Finn, not Tim." She told him angrily. When she'd first gotten out of the hospital she'd sent him a picture of their son with his name and birth details on it so he couldn't ever claim she hadn't at least tried to let him be a part of his son's life. Obviously it hadn't done any good because he couldn't even remember his name and hadn't attempted to get in contact with them even once in the year Finn had been alive.
"Finn. Of course. I'm sorry." He told her, sounding sincere, but she knew better now than to believe he was actually being sincere. "I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am about everything that happened with us. I think about the two of you every single day." He told her, sliding his hand down her arm until he could take her hand in his and thread their fingers together. She didn't have the energy to pull her hand away.
"Well we haven't had any clue of that. You've never called or come over to see him. Not even once." She pointed out and he nodded.
"I know. And you can't even begin to understand how much I wish I could go back and change all of that. I know I was wrong." He told her. This was always the problem with Jesse, he always knew exactly what to say to make her melt. "Do you have a picture of him? I'd love to see what the best of me and the best of you created." He told her and she sighed, reaching into her bag to pull out her phone so she could show him the pictures on it. She found a really good one of Finn laughing.
She remembered that day, she'd come home to find Noah putting on a puppet show behind the couch with a couple of Finn's toys. The boy had been having the time of his life watching Puck make his toys come to life and it was clear that Puck had been enjoying it as well.
"That's your son." She told him icily, angry at him again now that she was thinking that a man who'd been a complete stranger was more of a father to his son than he was.
"He's so big." He said, looking at the picture in awe. "Is he talking yet?" He asked, looking up at her. She shook her head because despite her best efforts he had yet to utter one word that wasn't baby gibberish. "Crawling?" He asked.
"Walking." She corrected and he smiled, looking at the picture again.
"I remember when Bernadette started walking." He said fondly, talking about one of his daughters with Sunshine. She frowned and yanked her phone out of his hand, shoving it back into her bag.
"I'm really not interested in hearing a story about how you're such a good father to your other children. Goodbye." She said angrily, whirling around again and going for the exit.
"I still love you, you know. I never really stopped." He called out and she froze. "And I know I made a mistake with everything that happened. You have no idea how much I wish I could go back and do everything differently. I wish I'd left Sunshine for you and that we'd raised our son together." He told her, walking over to her again and putting his hand on her shoulder. She dropped her head down, a tear sliding down her cheek. That's what she'd really wanted for Finn.
"I wish that had happened too." She admitted. He smiled and tried to pull her against him but she shrugged him off. She was in no way ready for that.
"Can I meet him? Our son?" He asked and she sighed. She knew she didn't have any right to keep him from his son if he wanted to get to know him. Besides, Finn deserved to get the chance to be able to know his father and she knew she had to think about him and his best interests.
"We'll be home this afternoon. You can come see him then." She told him before continuing on her way out, needing to compose herself without him watching.
She still had time to kill before her dance class because she hadn't auditioned. She went and got herself a cup of coffee and tried to process everything that had just happened. She wanted to find where Finn and Puck were so she could hold her son tightly for a little while but Puck would be able to tell something was wrong with her and ask questions. (He could always tell when she was upset.) She really couldn't handle any questions right now. She settled for walking around the city until it was time to head to her dance class. She just really hoped that Santana wouldn't ask any questions about the mood she was in because she knew her best friend would not approve of letting Jesse come to see his son, would not approve of her letting Jesse back into her life.
That afternoon Puck was sitting in the kitchen with Finn playing cards. They'd started out playing Fish but Finn couldn't ask for what he wanted so it had kind of turned into a game of Blackjack. The kid was actually really good at it which was surprising because he couldn't even count yet to add up his cards.
"Listen kid, you gotta put in a good word with your Mommy for me." He told him, putting a card down for both himself and Finn. "She keeps pushing me away and I just... I love her, okay? And I love you. She won't listen to me but I know she'll listen to you." He told him sadly.
"Okay, I'll do my best. And I love you too. Now hit me."
Finn slapped his cards, wanting another card, and Puck rose his eyebrows.
"No, you've got nineteen. Let it ride, Dude." He told him but Finn slapped his cards again.
"I said hit me again."
"Okay man but it's your funeral." He agreed, putting down another card. His eyes widened when the card was a two. "Whoa, twenty one. You're not counting cards, you are? I'm not gonna have to call the establishment's security here to rough you up, am I?" He asked, waving towards two of Finn's larger Teddy Bears that were acting as security.
"Nah, I'm just good at this game. I told you I could play."
Puck chuckled at Finn shaking his head at him and babbling. That's why he never talked down to him, he was sure he could pick up more of what they were saying than it seemed. It was one of the reasons he was trying to keep his language clean around him. While it would hilarious in an abstract way for a swear word to be the kid's first word, he wasn't going to risk it because he was sure it wouldn't be as funny in reality. Besides, Rachel would legit kill him if that was her son's first word. Sometimes he did mess up and let one slip out, but to be fair, a lifelong habit was hard to break and he really was trying, that had to count for something. He started shuffling the cards again for another round, Finn babbling at him again.
"So I've been thinking about this Daddy thing. I want you to be my Daddy."
"Is that right, little dude?" Puck asked, humouring him. He'd noticed that Finn really reacted when they talked back to him when he was babbling like that.
"Yeah. Now I know Mommy might be a bit of a problem but don't worry, I'll take care of it. She can't say no to this face."
Puck chuckled when Finn grabbed his hand and gave him a puppy dog look. Man, he really wondered what he was talking about with his gibberish that had led to that look. There was a knock at the door and he frowned in confusion, not knowing who it could be. Santana usually pounded at the door, Kurt and Blaine usually called first and Rachel's Dad's were away on a cruise.
(Just a cruise not a gay cruise. Rachel had gotten all offended when he'd asked if they were going on a gay cruise, saying gay people could go on regular cruises as much as a straight person could. Then she'd started in on a rant about society's misconceptions about the gay community and segregation. She was so cute when she was being crazy and when she was in Momma Bear mode.)
"Who is it?" He called out curiously.
"Rachel?" A man called back in confusion and Puck rose his eyebrows. He definitely didn't recognise that voice.
"Sorry, try again. You don't sound anything like Rachel." He snarked. Something about the guy's voice had his hackles up and he didn't know why. The guy huffed in annoyance, like his mere presence was an inconvenience to him.
"Is Rachel there?" He asked, sounding put upon. Puck frowned, a bad feeling settling in his stomach.
"No, she's at dance class." He explained. God he hoped she hadn't found some guy she thought was worth her time over him.
"Is Finn there?" The guy asked and Puck shot up out of his seat. If this guy was some kind of a stalking pervert he was going to rearrange his face.
"Wait, me? Who is that guy and why does he want me?"
"Who wants to know?" Puck asked, clenching his fist. Now that the guy had mentioned Finn he was in total protection mode.
"Not that it's any concern of yours but I'm his father." The guy said haughtily.
"He's my what now?"
Puck's eyes widened and he opened the door, staring at the guy. He was dressed in what was obviously an expensive suit and everything about him screamed class and money. When his eyes landed on Puck his face soured, as though the mere sight of him offended him.
"Are you the frozen pop?" He asked curiously, wondering how he'd tracked them down.
"What are you talking about?" The guy asked in confusion.
"Are you the sperm donor? Rachel was artificially inseminated." He asked. The guy chortled and shook his head.
"I can assure you that there was nothing artificial about Finn's conception." He told him, sounding amused. "I'm Jesse, Rachel and I have been together for years." He added off handedly, Puck's eyes widened because he sounded like he was telling the truth. "Look, I even have a key." He pointed out, taking his keys out of his pocket and jamming one in the lock, locking it and then unlocking it. Puck swallowed heavily because this sounded legit. But still...
"Yeah, well, we're changing it." He told him firmly. He was still trying to tell himself that this guy was a stalker or something, but it was looking less and less likely. That Jesse guy turned to look at Finn but Puck clenched his teeth and stepped to the side, blocking his view and stopping him from getting further into the apartment. He was bigger than that guy so he knew he could take him if it came to a fight. And man was he itching for a fight with this guy.
"Let me through. You have no right to keep me away from my son, whoever the hell you are." Jesse said angrily but Puck shook his head, blocking him when he went to pass by him again.
"I'm the Goddamn babysitter, that's who the hell I am." He snarled at him. "If you're his father you'd know a few things about him." He pointed out. "When's his birthday?" He asked, arching an eyebrow. The guy smirked.
"July fourteenth." He said, trying to pass him again. Just because he knew one thing didn't prove anything so Puck cut him off again.
"What does he do when he's really tired and you're holding him?" He asked and the guy stared at him blankly, obviously not knowing. "He plays with your hair. It's why I grew mine out." He explained, even though the guy couldn't possibly know he'd had a Mohawk until a few months prior when he'd gotten involved in Finn and Rachel's lives. "What's his favourite band, The Beatles or Journey?" He asked, arching an eyebrow. "The Beatles, right?" He asked and the guy nodded.
"Exactly." He agreed. Puck snorted, this guy knew nothing.
"Wrong! It's Journey. The little freak loves Journey." He said fondly. "Quick, what colour are his eyes?" He asked, blocking him from his view so he couldn't peek.
"Blue." Jesse said, wagering that his son had his eyes like his other children did.
"You're pathetic. They're brown. But not exactly Rachel's brown, but more like his grandfather's brown." He said knowingly. The guy huffed.
"Look, whatever she's paying you I'll triple it, okay? Think of all the video games or lapdances what whatever the hell you could want that you could get with that." He said, shoving a couple hundred dollar bills into shoulder patronizingly. Puck ground his teeth together and shoved the money violently back into his hands.
"That's it, you're outta here you punk." He told him, grabbing him and pushing him back to the door.
"Unhand me you heathen!" Jesse called out and Puck frowned deeper. He definitely seemed like the type of guy Rachel should be with, especially saying things like that. He continued manhandling him out but Jesse fought back, knocking some things off the entrance table and onto the floor in the scuffle. Jesse got a couple of lucky shots into Puck's face so he punched him back.
"Get him Puck! Hit the body, the body! Leave my Daddy alone you curly haired poop head."
A teddy bear came flying at them from where Finn was sitting, hitting Jesse square in the face. Puck used that distraction to bend and charge at his stomach, picking him up slightly and pushing him out of the apartment. He slammed the door shut behind him and bolted it with the chain, shoving a chair under the handle so the guy couldn't use his key to get back in.
He slumped against the door and breathed heavily, looking up at Finn sitting on the table. He frowned and stared at the kid, seeing some of that Jesse guy's features in him, now that he thought of it. If this guy was telling the truth, as it seemed he was, it meant that everything he'd thought he'd known about this family was a lie. He didn't know if Rachel was still seeing Jesse, but he seemed to be under the impression that she was, and that hurt. Everything they'd gone through recently was just like she was playing with him. She really didn't seem like she was the type of person to do something like that, string him along and lead him on like that, but he obviously didn't know her as well as he'd thought.
Rachel came home from dance class a little later than usual. Practice had run over so she hadn't been able to leave on time. Everything that had happened with Jesse earlier that morning was still playing on her mind but she was determined not to let it show. She felt like she was doing a good job of pretending nothing had happened because Santana hadn't noticed anything was up and asked her about it. If she could keep up that facade to Puck she knew she'd be in the free and clear.
She walked into her apartment and found the entrance area a mess, things knocked over, a picture half hanging off the wall and the glass bowl that usually held her keys when she was home shattered on the floor. She rose her eyebrows and stepped over the mess, turning towards the kitchen. Finn was sitting up on the table with Puck sitting in front of him on a chair. The child had a pack of ice in his hand and was pressing it against Puck's face while the man groaned pitifully in pain. She gasped and hurriedly put her things down, rushing over to him.
"Oh goodness, what happened?" She asked worriedly, grasping his face and turning it to the side so she could inspect the black eye he was sporting. "I told you that you encouraged Finn to play too rough." She added, shaking her head at him. He frowned and pulled his face away from her.
"Finn didn't do this." He snapped at her, making her frown in confusion. She didn't know why he seemed so angry with her. "You wanna tell me who Jesse is?" He asked angrily, getting up and standing over her, glaring down at her. Her mouth dropped open in surprise.
"Was... was he here?" She asked worriedly, her eyes darting towards the entrance way again.
"Is he Finn's father?" He asked, ignoring the question. Her lip quivered and she looked down. She absolutely could not look him in the eye at that moment. Her actions spoke louder than a thousand words and he felt more anger surge through his body. "So you lied to me. About everything." He pointed out, stepping away from her.
"Not everything." She assured him, looking up at him again.
"You lied about being inseminated." He pointed out and she winced because that was true, she had lied about that. "Why? Why would you lie about that?" He asked in confusion. Nothing about this situation made any sense. If she was with this Jesse guy then why had she lied about there being no father, why had he never even seen a glimpse of him before? She bit her lip and looked down.
"He was married." She explained and his eyes widened. He definitely hadn't been expecting her to say that.
"I don't even know who you are." He told her. He'd never thought that she would ever sleep with a married man.
"You don't understand..." She started but he cut her off.
"So what have I been, huh? Just a fun little game for you? The schmuck you've been stringing along? I must have been so entertaining for you and your married asshole boyfriend." He said angrily, a little embarrassed when he felt hot bitter tears welling in his eyes. "Look at that loser taxi driver, he thinks he has a shot with me, he's acting as the surrogate father for a kid who doesn't really need one. A real barrel of laughs for you, wasn't it?" He asked and she frowned.
"No that's not... he was with someone else and we were over. He hasn't even met Finn and I only met up with him again today. It was the first time I'd seen him since the day I went into labour. Everything between us was real, I swear. I'd never laugh at you, and you've been so amazing for Finn... and for me." She assured him. He wasn't sure if he could believe her but he so desperately wanted to. But there was one huge thing that he had to know.
"Do you love him?" He asked, clenching his teeth together. He didn't want to think that she might even possibly love this guy when he loved her so fucking much.
"Excuse me?" She asked in shock.
"I said do you love him?" He repeated.
"I... I don't know." She admitted and he shook his head, taking another step back from her. "I don't know who I love." She added honestly. She had thought that she was completely over Jesse, but then he'd said all the right words and acted the way he should have from the beginning and she was back to being confused. And with Puck... she'd been confused about how she felt about him for a while now, but she was pretty sure that her feelings might be something like love. "I just want what's best for Finn. And Jesse is his father." She pointed out and he clenched his fist.
"He's never even seen him before. What kind of a father is that? What kind of example is he setting for Finn?" He asked and she frowned.
"But he's a really good father to his other children." She mumbled but he heard it clear as day.
"I don't want him seeing Finn. I don't want him in his life." He told her and her eyes widened.
"Noah..." She started but he cut her off.
"No. I'm not going to let it happen." He told her. She was always trying to protect Finn from things that might not even happen and now he had to protect him from this guy. He could tell that this guy was never going to be the father Finn deserved, not like Puck would be, and that he'd just end up hurting both Finn and Rachel in the long run.
"He has a right to see his child. And you're..." She cut herself off but he could guess what she'd been about to say.
"And I'm what? Nothing to him? Is that what you were going to say?" He asked angrily. He was definitely something to Finn, he was the closest thing he'd had to a father for over a year now, he wasn't nothing.
"Of course I wasn't going to say that. You're just not his father." She pointed out.
"Yeah well, I'm the closest thing he's got." He yelled at her angrily. "And I... I could be his father." He added, letting a little vulnerability show through. He really wanted to be Finn's father, as much as he wanted Rachel to be with him. Rachel couldn't help but scoff.
"Please. You're like a big kid yourself, Noah." She told him and he took another step back as though that had physically caused him pain.
"I love him. That's more than I can say for that jerk." He told her and she frowned. That wasn't fair because Jesse hadn't had the chance to love him yet. She was ignoring the fact that he could have gotten the chance to love him from the moment he was born (or even before that) but hadn't taken it, while Puck had loved him pretty much from the moment he'd laid eyes on him. A voice whispered that Puck's total devotion and love was better material to be Finn's father than Jesse in the back of Rachel's mind but she ignored it.
"Are you responsible enough to be anyone's father?" She asked and he frowned.
"You're one to talk. Is it really responsible to get knocked up by a married man?" He yelled at her. He could not believe that she was going there and was on the defensive. Had he not been responsible with Finn from day one? Hadn't he protected him with all his might and loved him all this time?
"Stop it." She begged him softly.
"No you stop it." He yelled back. "You're being stupid, Rachel. And if there was one thing I thought you weren't it was stupid." He told her. She stumbled back as though she'd been slapped across the face with those words. "You know, I've seen you use Finn as an excuse to push guys away. You even did it with me." He pointed out and she frowned at the reminder. "You're so scared of being happy for a change that you're running back to that ass who hurt you and made you like that in the first place. It's pathetic." He told her, shaking his head at her.
"I don't have to listen to this. I don't want to hear what it is you think you know about me." She told him angrily.
"Fine then. Get out!" He yelled.
"I live here." She yelled back.
"Fine then, I'll leave." He said angrily, grabbing up his jacket and storming out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. Rachel let out a sob and wrapped her arms around herself. She couldn't believe this had happened. When she'd told Jesse he could come by she hadn't thought Puck would still be there, she'd thought it would just be her and Finn. She'd thought that Puck never had to even find out about it, which she realised was stupid. But deep down she'd known that it would lead to a fight and she hadn't wanted that.
"What just happened?"
Finn started crying from his spot on the kitchen table and she snapped her head up to look at him. She'd forgotten than he was watching that whole thing. Obviously he was scared and frightened about seeing his mother and his father figure fighting that way. She rushed over to him and scooped him up in her arms, holding him tightly.
"Shh, Baby, shh. It's okay." She assured him, running her hands up and down his back.
"Where'd Puck go? Why'd he leave like that?"
"Don't you worry, Honey. Your Daddy is going to make everything better. I just know it. Everything will be okay." She whispered to him soothingly.
"How? You just made him leave."