distinguish

-to perceive a difference

-to separate into kinds, classes, or categories

A prism of rainbows glitters over my sleeve, and I blink when I step out.

Real sunshine again instead of neon white lights or air filtered as it usually is in the hallways of the palace or everywhere in a halfway decent room inhabited by silver blooded people in the summer heat.

I don't like it. My scalp starts to tingle to stay outside again for too long.

Glass is the diamonds of our architecture, and it spans around me now in the form of a great terrace, filled up with seats and tables.

We are early, which may be because we just hurried along and down the hall. I have no words to say to her that would not result in a fight or me simply giving in and throwing her down a set of stairs.

Atara shares my disgruntlement. Seeing me accompanying her has rained on her parade again. Evil, evil me, sniffing behind her steps, always knowing better.

She crosses over and moves to the Welle girl, and I let her. I know the drill of what comes next. They'll stick their heads together again and talk about the other girls and women, and when that is finished they just greet them as if they're best friends.

I was a girl once too, even if I didn't have many genuine friends. This is just how it works. Nothing changes at that, even if you are older.
You pretend everyone is your friend if you have to, and later they can wait for you to shoot them in the back.

Another reason why allies are powerful, but friends are useless.

I hide my chin behind my collar a moment, adjusting it with both hands. The mantis moves lazily up, holding tightly to my ear.

We are animal scryers.

They are our ears and eyes and keep watch, patrolling.

The mantis will soon enough scurry under the tables on this terrace and maybe-

"One more Viper has slithered back into the nest."

Silks move silent and precise.

This one is especially proficient on it, and she is to be feared and respected.

"As always an honor." I bow slow and deep when I turn around. Grey shimmers through the rainbow prisms of light in her dark hair. "So good to see your face again, Lady Ara. The weather suits you, I hope?"

If I'd roll around on the floor in front of her showing my belly I could not be more of a submissive flatterer and savant. I thought getting on Evangeline's good side would be bruising for my ego. I didn't consider the Panther here. But I probably should have.

As I have learned, a surprise is an advantage.

If you're never were people suppose you are, you gain high ground easily.

Also, I suppose, this is as a good place as any for her right now. All the girls bring company.

The company is what counts.

Or does she have her eyes on something else? Hard to say. I can't read thoughts like my future whisper husband after all.

Her brown eyes glide over my stiff uniform like jacket and pants, unimpressed. Despite my heels, some people never fail to make you feel small.

"The weather suits us all," She doesn't let anything show. "Accompanying your cousin again?"

Ara doesn't waste too much time with unimportant weather. She asks questions she already has an answer to. It is a simple check.

She wants to tickle something out of me, she has a reason to be here and wasting her important time as the head of house Iral on me.

"Yes." I keep the answer short. The less I say, the less she can take away from it. "And you're here for your granddaughter, isn't that so?"

She is unbothered by my attempt.

I am nothing to her.

I'd be hurt if Evangeline hadn't done the bulk of threatening me and Atara hadn't made fun smirking about mental torture.

"Yes, Sonya is here to." More eyes for her, more roaming words and information, I suppose. Ara Iral just burns into every twitch in my hands and face.

"How can I be of service?" I am ungainly. If only because I am not sure what she wants.

But she just doesn't tell me. Why would she? It was a very crude attempt.

"The last time I saw you, you were claws deep in Colonel Macanthos face."

If she slapped me, she might not stun me as much. It is a simple truth people don't speak about. My uncle likes to joke about it with disgust, and my other family members hint at it ranging from worry about reputation and outright mockery.

I am the merry widow.

I am bad luck. I am claws and poison.

And yes, I started trying to beat a seasoned military figure with the ability to turn her skin to stone in a physical assault without much prowess.

But Ara isn't done to recall that, oh no.

"And if I remember correctly, she broke your nose while you promised to kill her and bring it to an end."

Slicing scars into her skin and teeth of an animal at her too until blood splattered over my face. An ugly memory.

Acid rises along with that memory in me. It burns in my throat like I need to vomit again, and it tickles on my tongue to say something harsh, something insulting, anything really.

"Luckily, I had a healer to my disposal," I try to keep every muscle in my face under control when I smile. "We were all heated and hurt by a loss that day. The gracious Lady and the Colonel both understood."

"You finally made your peace with them?"

"It took way too long." My hands wrangle with one another a moment, fingers gripping to each other tightly in front of my body. "But it is settled and laid to rest."

It isn't. They swept it under the rug, but I am never going to be finished. Not with any of them, least Ellyn Macanthos.

They all hate me. And I send them swarms of biting bugs in return for their attention.

Ara knows that. Irals are just as silently scattered through ranks and positions as my bugs are in my room, lids half open and bodies crawling. This woman and her sharp, old eyes know too much about me or anyone else, really.

She stands straight without a failure.

"Sometimes it is better to settle scores and make things even."

It doesn't sound like making peace at all.

"I like that, actually." I mean that. I would love to make scores even. "But perhaps putting myself in the front is a bad call. This is about Lady Evangeline and Lady Mareena as much as your granddaughter and my Viper cousin. Let the girls enjoy this, up until the Parting Ball." I let the rest speak for itself. Let my eyes look around. I am clearly too old to fall for the glitter or indulge in it. "No reason to steal a spotlight from the young and enthusiastic, yes? We know how it works."

She tilts her head slightly, dark hair run through with silver moving slightly. " There is a massive flaw in your logic."

Her brown eyes very aware of the way my hands cup the mantis, she only slightly pushes her eyebrows together.

"You are as much girl to me as any of the others."

"You are kind." I thank her, but it is a flat out lie, cause there isn't much kindness for me or anything in that statement. "I haven't been called a girl for a while."

Her eyes move slightly, taking in something moving behind me.

Her granddaughter has joined the merry conversation, it seems.

"What a surprise." Sonya Iral has a pleasant enough voice. I am unimpressed, even if she is very beautiful, all showing off dark skin and perfectly formed lithe body.

The mantis on my ear pinches me to keep myself in check.

"Lady Sonya, way too long since I got to see you. I just told your grandmother that the weather suits you all better than me."

She takes one of my hands, sharp grey nails burning on my skin and the edges of my sleeves. She could scratch me, digging into my skin, and she wouldn't be more efficient to make me too aware of her physical presence.

I squeeze softly. Remember how Samson squeezed my hand so hard he left bruises on multiple occasions.

"It's so exciting to see you again."

We gift each other fog and poison in smiles and words before we let go of each other.

"Likewise. I promise we will see each other again often."

Will we?

I told Evangeline I would hope so. Ara Iral picks the small doubt in my voice up easily.

"Have a drink for me at your wedding next week."

"They say wine and poison taste the same," I shrug nonchalantly, looking at my fingers.

"The next thing you'll tell me fire is hot and guns shoot bullets." She is as unimpressed as one can be.

My fingers are like some puppet master now, releasing the small green body between us. It wanders over to her, crawls along with the glass structure beside her spanning over our heads, crawling above. It's hard for the poor creature. It slips over the glass in trying to find a grip. Without a second thought and very fast, as was to be expected, Sonya Iral's hand shoots forward and catches it between her fingers. At first, I am reminded of the moths again.

But Sonya Iral doesn't exactly look as murderous. She is nonetheless holding my poor critter. I wait for another breath for her to release it.

"We will try to eat here." Ara says. "Keep your pet on your head or nose or whatever you find fashionable."

The mantis scatters and scurries over the flat reflecting plate of the ground, making the tiniest bit of noise.

I let it crawl up my boots, up my leg and my collar up to the ear again.

"Of course." I nod over to the Iral girl watching with confidence and a bit of satisfaction how I am hit over again by her grandmother. "I wish you a pleasant day."

She loses my line of sight when I make my way over to Atara and Heron. I look back over and another girl has joined in on the Iral one. Flocking together almost sorted by the tactical operations and abilities their houses have. Red hair, Haven.

I get tired and bored with all the pretty girls slowly. Meaningless as always.

The mantis moves slowly down to my shoulder. At the ready.

Not too close to Ara again, though, because she has warned me.

"Getting friendly again, cousin?" She blinks.

I do not bat an eye. "Some people care what I have to say."

Atara just smirks a bit at that, and Heron draws up her shoulders a moment as if to hold in an amused breath.

"Look at Evangeline. She will just sputter platitudes again."

Ah, they are at it again.

"Well, at least she knows what this is all about." Atara barely defends her, and if I didn't know better, I'd say she is close to rolling her eyes. She does keep her posture and relatively neutral facial expression, though. "Titanos just stumbles through."

I shift my weight, search around with my eyes, until I find a familiar silver-haired frame. Tempered in steel, that seems a fitting description for Evangeline Samos, not only for the metal bending but her whole approach and attire, posture and course, they'd talk about Evangeline, because jealousy is yellow, and as Atara so eloquently said: "she was born to win".

And of course they'd babble about our girl from the mud suddenly reintroduced as the heir of a lost house. I huff only slightly at the sight of her. Brown eyes, small thing, doesn't know a thing about what she is going to have to endure. But as always, the weather sucks any empathy out of me.

Atara and Heron hold their heads high, chattering with the same meaningless and nasty strike they often express when it gets to people that aren't them.

They feel a little cheated for their second prize, I'd suspect, because that girl just fell into the pit and unleashed something. I remember the princes both, never really cared for them more than I needed. I remember my husband talking about the older one, sometimes, but I barely know anything about his younger brother. But I'd suspect anyone can be happy neither Heron or Atara hold enough weight to marry Prince Maven. When I throw over another look , I see Ara Iral not very shyly glancing at our dear new lady at court. So perhaps that is the interest that drives her here. Curious, if she is interested in Titanos, I should be too.

"Don't throw stones in a very literal glass house, girls." That is all I say. "They beat you to be a Princess and they beat you to a marriage. But they beat you for a reason. Someone is always better, I told you."

And wouldn't I know?

"Do you think we will hear more about.."Atara chokes on the words a little. "Well, the Scarlet Guard."

"It was terrible." Heron leans closer to my cousin, birdlike face a little tense. "I heard about another incident in another city."

It fits Atara to be her friend. The Lady of birds and the girl with the name looking like a delicate one.

Yes, we all have our own share of thoughts about Reds trying to rebel. Nothing is more clear. It lurks underneath the air like it has been since the day of the broadcast, the burning buildings. And the rumors.

"Literal glass, my darlings, " I repeat.

We glare at each other, and for once I win a fight fought with eyes. Heron's eyes move away first.

Then I move on and away, heels loud and head high. I'll be having their pleasure soon enough again.

A pair of pale blue eyes follow me. I know I can't ignore it, and it sends the same tingling shiver down my spine as it did back in the box at the Queenstrial.

The Queen is watching me.

Elara Merandus.

Watching me from above in between her Sentinels and high seat, for whatever interesting reason.

I slightly bow, face twisting into the same fake smile I gave earlier.

I earn a nod. A small, sharp gesture. My heart shrivels and my pulse races.