Author's Note: And there we go! A chapter that has been long awaited for! I am super sorry about the wait, everyone! I have absolutely no excuse! But I just love hearing all that you have to say, and it has really helped spur me on! I really appreciate it! Anyway, let me know what you think! I'm going to bed now! Night!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the OC's I create.
Warnings: Language, OOCness, un-beta'd.
Word Count: 5,141
Itachi frowns, staring at Madara who stood across from him. The Uchiha and Senju, gathered for Itachi's birthday, sit around outside the barrier that was erected around their mini arena. Itachi rubs the back of his neck, dreading this moment. Not so much the fight with Madara, he's trained with his oldest brother plenty of times before, but he doesn't like the spectacle. He just didn't like being the center of attention. It was bad enough that his birthday happened to fall after their alliance was formed - well the first of the two families - but he was extremely against everyone staring at him.
It was abhorrent enough that his brothers seem to make him the sole focus in their lives, nine out of ten times, and it was just another time to add to his list. It just tires him out. And with the other half of his exhaustion stems from his declining health.
A few days ago, when Itachi had his talk with Hashirama, he told the Senju clan leader that it was okay, that he knew that Hashirama would try his best and be able to find the people responsible. But somewhere in the back of his mind, Itachi wished that he would hurry. Itachi never really thought about death - which is surprising considering he's from a warring clan therefore surrounded by death, and his own near-death experience as a young boy - but now that his health is steadily declining more and more, he's becoming more aware of his own mortality.
Itachi does believe that Hashirama is very much capable of being the one who will crack the code and figure out who's responsible for Marume and Kawarama's deaths, but Itachi just wished it was coming along quicker. He knows that Hashirama is doing the best he can, but Itachi is starting to get anxious. Darker and darker thoughts keep creeping into the forefront of his mind.
What if Hashirama can't crack the code within the seal in time? What if Itachi doesn't live long enough to be able to stop them? What is they are too powerful for him to stop them? Who else, or what else, will Itachi lose before this is all said and done?
Itachi's fingers twitch anxiously.
Madara gives a long winded speech about the pride of the Uchiha and what this coming of age ceremony for the main branch means for the future of the clan and how he had high hopes for Itachi, as he did with Izuna. Itachi just held onto his left elbow loosely with his right hand, politely listening to his brother talk, eyes scanning the crowd, their faces. No one looks familiar to him from the Senju other than Hashirama, Tobirama and Itama, and then there was his family. Everyone looking between him and Madara in anticipation.
Itachi's eyes lock with Izuna's. His older brother is staring at him with a smirk. Itachi smiles back faintly.
Izuna wasn't originally happy about the alliance with the Senju, but he's been getting better with it, in fact, he's not so mad anymore. He has actually been relaxing more and more since they formed the alliance. It's was a bit odd at first, since Izuna didn't really know what to do with himself without having an enemy in the Senju, but now that he's gotten use to it and is evens starting to see them less as allies and more as friends, his entire demeanor, especially when dealing with the opposite clan, has become a lot more positive and forthcoming with them.
"Are you alright?" Izuna mouths to him. Itachi nods.
"I'm okay," he mouths back before turning his attention back to Madara, who's finally finishing what he was saying.
"Alright," Madara says, turning to Itachi. "Are you ready, Itachi?"
"I am, brother," Itachi says. "Whenever you are."
Madara brings his left hand to the back of his right and touches the seal there. His armor doesn't appear around him but his gunbai fan and scythe are clenched in his hands. He nods over at the Uchiha in charge of the protective barrier. They set it up and nod to him when it's up and stable.
"Alright, Itachi," Madara says, smiling over at his youngest brother, "let's dance, shall we?"
Itachi shakes his head, unable to stop the smile crossing over his lips. "Very well, brother, let us see how much better you've gotten since your battle with Izuna."
Madara grins. "Prepare yourself, baby brother."
Itachi nods, pulling out his own set of kunai, knowing that they wouldn't stand against his brother's main weapons of choice, but felt better having them out anyway, he had to think quick. This was a big deal to the Uchiha. Madara was going to make him work for his victory, if he can get it. Itachi didn't really mind one way or another if he won or lost.
But it's important to his family, so he will try hard to make them proud. Well, more specifically Madara and Izuna. He loved his family, a lot, but the ones that meant the most of him was his two remaining brothers.
Madara charges at Itachi immediately, gunbai fan swinging around, whizzing through the air, slicing it open, flying past his face and limbs and narrowly avoiding his chest and stomach. Itachi immediately regretted not really picking up any skills in the sword like Izuna or a fan and scythe like Madara. While his brother had become afficient at swinging that large fan around, Itachi was still quick enough to avoid it.
And that's just barely.
Itachi puts as much distance between himself and Madara for a moment, throwing his kunai to occupy him for a split second, before doing a series of handsigns before spitting a ball of fire. But unsurprisingly, Madara already had one of his own prepared, breathing it out at him as well. When the two flames mashed into one another, the inferno roared. The air immediately warmed up, getting hot in moments.
Itachi was strong, he had a strong affinity for fire. But not nearly as strong as Madara's affinity, and Itachi was feeling it. Madara was breathing actual fire rather than chakra that took on the form of fire, like Itachi's.
But Itachi was unique in the sense that his weakness element is water, which is also his natural element. He's a duo elemental one being the weakness of the other. It's a source of great pride for his clan. It's useful in a shinobi sense for him, but it's not something that needs a bunch of hot air being blown around for. It really wasn't that big of a deal. Not really.
His clan were experts of blowing shit out of proportion. It drives Itachi crazy.
Itachi and Madara dance around one another for a few moments; quick jabs here, wide swipes there and even a few thrown and deflected kunai and shuriken. It didn't take long for Itachi to realize that he was tiring quickly. He didn't have the energy to let this battle draw out, even though that was kind of the point of the entire thing.
People whisper and ohh and ahh watching over the two bothers fighting. Itachi wasn't much of a jutsu specialist in comparison to a lot of other Uchiha. While it is natural that he has quite a few jutsu in his arsenal, he wasn't like Madara, he didn't focus a lot on that aspect. It was more genjutsu that was Itachi's specialty and unfortunately for him, that wasn't something that he was willing to use on Madara. But on the plus side, with their arena being so small, Madara wasn't able to use a lot of his area-of-affect jutsu to try and catch Itachi off guard. it all had to be very small and precise.
Itachi takes a wrong step, pausing for a brief moment before Madara's leg rockets out and lands a solid, exceedingly painful blow right to the gut, sending Itachi flying back. He landed onto his back and rolled over the top of his head and onto his hands and knees. Normally such a blow would have knocked the wind out of him but wouldn't have done much more than that.
But Itachi could only be thankful for, in that moment, that he was already doubled over in pain because it took all of his will power not to let out a cry of pain as his eyes watered and blood filled his mouth. He slowly spits out the mouthful of blood and just stays there on his hands and knees, frozen in place for a moment while he tries to force the pain in his stomach away. It was as if all of the gods and goddesses that the Uchiha prayed to were all mocking him with that somehow justified kick to the gut.
Never before has Madara ever aimed for such a vulnerable part of the body, especially on Itachi, it seems only fated that it would happen now that Itachi wouldn't be able to take the hit without feeling like he tripped and fell into his grave with only moments to scramble out before the dirt fell over it. Itachi's stomach has been hurting him for a long time but he's been able to start ignoring it, but this was a very, very painful reminder that it wasn't something that would easily be forgotten for long.
Itachi squeezes his eyes shut tightly. He takes in deep, shuttering breaths, trying to calm down his racing heart beat and ache within his stomach.
There is a moment of pause, where Itachi realized that he was doubled over for too long.
"Itachi?" Madara calls out. He takes a few moments to look down at his baby brother before taking a few steps closer, eyebrows pulling together in worry. Itachi couldn't really hear anything over the rapid, heavy pounding of his heart and the roar his blood in his ears.
Itachi takes a deep breath, spitting out the last bit of drool and blood from his mouth. It's only when Madara is right in front of him that Itachi remembered that he couldn't stay this way. He had to move now, or then everyone will know that something is very wrong with him.
Impulsively, something that is foreign to Itachi, he reacted on instinct. He couldn't let any of them think that he was hurt too badly from that strike. He had to make it seem like this was all a trick. Without thinking, Itachi summoned the bones of the orange god to push Madara done to the ground, pinning him in place and no doubt catching him off guard.
Itachi smoothly slides up his brother's body, pointing a kunai to his throat, staring down into Madara's wide red eyes. As soon as Itachi's mind clears a bit from the pain and slight panic, he realized what he did and his eyes widen. Instead of the worry, his attention morphed completely into horror and shame. Itachi drops the kunai next to Madara's head and sends the Typhoon God away, hands shaking.
"I'm sorry," Itachi whispers, red eyes shifting back into their regular black color. "Madara, I am so sorry. I... I don't..."
Absolute horror coils around Itachi's entire being as his eyes widen as far as they can go, shimmering with tears. He turned Susanoo against his older brother. Every action against his brothers have always been precise and planned and perfect in their own way to make the fight real enough without actually really running the risk of hurting his brothers in a way they wouldn't heal from, but not that moment. Not that move. That was all instinct. Itachi was ready to kill Madara in order to save himself, feeling like he was legitimately in danger.
For that moment, Itachi saw his life as more important than Madara's.
That chilled Itachi to the bone and made him feel like the most disgusting creature on the planet. For a single, split second, Itachi was ready to kill his brother in order to protect himself. And that just isn't acceptable.
"I'm sorry," Itachi whispers, dark eyes shimmering with tears. This dark, evil wiggling thing in his gut and in his mind is poking and gnawing at him, as if tauntingly the more he thinks about it. He didn't mean to, and he would never live with himself if he ever did, but he was going to hurt Madara. He was going to protect himself enough where he'd either hurt Madara or kill him.
Had it been a more serious fight, Madara may have saw that coming and been perfectly fine, but it wasn't. Itachi was never in any danger in a battle against his big brother yet this sickness inside of him was messing with his wiring.
Itachi closes his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself down. He shoves down the feelings of pain and worry and self-hatred because he doesn't want to feel it now, surrounded by all these people. Not looking down into the eyes of his holder brother, no doubt his face is belying all of those things to the Uchiha clan leader. He didn't want Madara to see anymore than he already has.
"I am sorry, brother," Itachi whispers to Madara.
Madara sits up slowly, not seeming to care that they had an audience. "Itachi..."
Itachi holds his hand out for Madara to take. He does and pushes himself to his feet, dusting off his regular dark blue clothes, branded with their family crest on his back. He sends his fan away, starting down at Itachi with this look in his eyes that says that moment didn't go unnoticed. That Itachi's physical distress didn't fall on blind eyes and even if no one else in the world saw the shift in Itachi, Madara did.
Which always seemed to be the case. Even though Marume was Itachi's twin, and they were connected in a way that almost unnatural because of their place as twins, there was something about the connection Itachi had with Madara that was beyond natural understanding. There has been this connection to Madara that Itachi has been able to feel since the moment he lost his memories. No one else in the room, not even his own twin brother, resounded in his mind as much as his eldest brother did.
Itachi doesn't remember what his relationship with Madara was like before he lost his memory, but according to Izuna, Itachi was Madara's. Madara has always been a very loving person and always preferred the company of children over adults anyway. He may not be very good with them and while interacting with them wasn't something he was good at. He just prefer to sit back and watch them, ensure that they are safe and happy.
Perhaps that is why Madara has such a connection to Hashirama. Hashirama is basically a small child trapped in an adult's body, most of the time.
Anyway, Itachi was Madara's. Everyone always said that. Itachi was enraptured by Madara and would follow him everywhere. Itachi was perfect to Madara. He was like a large adult, trapped in a small child's body. If Itachi ever wanted anything, Madara was usually the one to get it for him, more often than not. So long as it was something within his power to be able to get or do, Madara would do it for Itachi.
A part of Itachi wondered if that had something to do with the connection between them, but he didn't know for certain.
Madara has always been his go-to brother.
Itachi bows his head and listens to his eldest brother give some kind of ending speech to the spectators to close out the ceremony. Itachi just stood there for a long time, listening to the sound of his brother talking, not able to even lift his chin a centimeter because of the maelstrom of shame spinning around in his gut. He just couldn't believe that he struck out against his own brother. Against Madara.
As much as he would like to joke and say he may take a swipe at Izuna once a blue moon, it wasn't in him. He never wanted to hurt any of his brothers. They were too important to him, and yet he attacked Madara. While that was the point of this coming of age ceremony, Itachi never really thought to take this seriously because he didn't really care what the rest of his family thought, especially about him.
If he had the choice, he wouldn't have done that fight at all, but it was out of respect for his oldest brother. It was something that Madara cared about it, so Itachi was going to play along for his brother's sake.
But now he wished that he hadn't. Itachi wanted nothing more than to run away and hide in a hole that he would never have to come out of. Even if the people around him thought it was a great battle and that Itachi was victorious, they were wrong. Itachi was no better than dirt on the ground. He should not be out here, doing this. He was not feeling well and today was one of the bad days and now he has this settling on his conscience.
Itachi's stomach is still throbbing painfully. Nothing that he couldn't ignore, but each push against the inside of his belly was light adding a thousand pounds to Itachi's mood, and it adds to the lump in his throat.
Itachi's eyes peak up just once to lock eyes with the kind brown of the Senju clan leader. Hashirama has a look on his face that Itachi didn't understand, but didn't want to. He knew the moment he saw Hashirama that the man had seen perhaps more than most others had and that just wasn't something that Itachi wanted to deal with either. Madara and Izuna are going to be bad enough, but no matter how much he liked Hashirama, the man was too good to have to deal with someone like Itachi.
That and maybe Itachi just didn't want to deal with his own problems, having already resigned himself to his painful, lonely end at the metaphorical hand of the sickness in his body. While he may have accepted it, he knew his brothers wouldn't and Hashirama was too kind to.
Once it was over and Madara had said his peace, Itachi didn't wait a moment before rushing away, too ashamed to be able to stay by his brother's side. Itachi just had to get away, especially since he knew that his brother was not going to let this go. While Itachi was no longer close to tears, he still felt like he was paper thin. He was too tired and scared and just wanted to be alone, which he knows isn't something that his brothers aren't going to let go.
As Itachi had suspected, it didn't take long for his brother to corner him just outside of the boundaries of the village. Itachi just brushed past Madara, not wanting to talk to Madara, but he knew that wouldn't fly. Madara caught his arm as he walked past and held him in place.
"Itachi..." Madara says, sounding as if he had so much he wanted to say, but the look on his showed that he just didn't know how to put it all into words.
"I'm sorry, nii-sama," Itachi says softly, turning his head away from Madara. "I can't believe I used Susanoo on you. I didn't intend to do that. Forgive me."
"I don't care about that," Madara says flatly.
"What the hell was that, Itachi?" Izuna asks, stepping up next to Madara. "Itachi-"
"I'm fine," Itachi says, closing his eyes. Madara and Izuna don't respond and for a moment, Itachi wondered if they were just going to turn and walk away but he knew such thoughts were too good to be true. After today, there was no way they weren't going to badger Itachi until he spilled all of his dirty secrets. Until he admits to what is happening to him.
"That's it," Madara snaps, swinging Itachi around until he's got a steel grip on both of Itachi's arms so that he can't move and has no choice but to stare, surprised, into the eyes of his big brother. "Itachi, I am sick of this bullshit. Tell me what is wrong right now." He glares down at Itachi.
Itachi looks away, spotting Hashirama standing off to the side, large brown eyes worried but unreadable otherwise. There is something in there that Itachi can't understand. But there is also pleading. He wants Itachi to be okay and is respectful enough to Madara to let him try and deal with this himself. But Hashirama will remain close to help Madara because that's the type of friend that he is.
"Itachi," Izuna says, when Itachi opened his mouth to protest once more, "we saw the blood. There was a lot." His voice is hitched a bit in worry. "Please, just tell us what's wrong. Did Madara accidently hit you in your bout? Are you mad about something else?"
Itachi shakes his head. "I can't say," he says, voice soft with shame. He hates that his brothers would have to worry about him like this. He wish there was something that he could do to turn their attention elsewhere, where it belonged. "We have to focus on Marume..."
There is a strained silence that follows. Not even Izuna, who always has something to say, says anything. He doesn't even move, yet the air around them grows tense and strained.
"Itachi, let me tell you something," Madara says, voice eerily calm.
"Yes..?" Itachi says quietly, staring at the tiny patch of grass between their feet.
"Dammit, Itachi, look at me," Madara snaps.
Itachi obeys, raising his eyes up to Madara's. Itachi was always a good boy. He always did as he was told and never talked back to Madara or their father. Itachi was never chastised or yelled at. He's not used to someone raising their voice like that to him, which was odd for a sixteen year old boy.
"I love Marume," Madara says, voice flat. "He is my little brother and I love him and miss him like you wouldn't believe. It is my job, my privilege, as an older brother to take care of my younger siblings, and one of them is now gone. I would give just about anything to have him back and when I find the fuckers who killed my little brother I will skin them alive and throw them into a salt mine. I will put them in Tsukuyomi and torture them until I can't think of any more ways to destroy them. Then, I will allow Izuna a chance, and when he can think of nothing more, than you. That is my promise to you, Itachi. That is the fate of the people who took my little brother away from me."
Itachi didn't know what to say. Staring into Madara's eyes now, the devil stared back at him. All of the gods that the Uchiha prayed to all stood at Madara's side, as if they were enraged by what happened to Marume and were acting out their anger through Madara. He was the embodiment of it. Madara was a man, no longer in those moments, but a weapon that is ready to slice through it's enemies without the slightest hitch.
Madara's rage simmers again, but the tenseness in his body, like a wild animal preparing to strike, remains. "I will tell you what I won't do," Madara says, staring deep into Itachi's black eyes with his own. "I will not sacrifice you. Marume is dead. It is cruel and unusual and should be a horrible nightmare, that I wish every day I would awaken from, but for now, he is dead. Nothing can bring him back. And whatever is happening with you is not going to help bring him back or avenge him quicker. If you do not get help, then I will not hunt for Marume's killer."
Izuna and Itachi stare at Madara as if he had lost his bloody mind - and it's obvious that he had!
"What are you saying?" Itachi asks, eyes wide and voice strained. "You will not hunt for those that have killed Marume?"
Madara shakes his head.
"Madara!" Izuna gasps. "What the actual hell is happening right now?"
"Listen to me, both of you," Madara snaps, looking between his two younger brothers. "I was only given three bothers in this world and I've already lost one of them. I will not sacrifice either of you for Marume. He will not come back even if I did. You can hate me for it, but this is my family. This is my clan. This is my choice."
That was unbelievable. Madara had never used the clan leader card on them. Ever.
"You can't do that!" Itachi protests, shaking his head. He couldn't believe his ears.
Madara stares down at Itachi with the coldest, most angry look, Itachi has ever seen. "Try me," Madara growls. "I am the clan leader. If you want to do it differently, fight me, kill me, take my title."
Itachi submits immediately. That was definitely not going to happen. Izuna is cowed too. He wasn't going to physically fight Madara, either. Especially not to the death.
"No?" Madara asks, haughtily. "Good. Now listen to me closely. We are going to get these bastards, Itachi, but we all need to be in tip-top shape to do it. We don't know who they are or what they have at their disposal, so we have to be prepared for anything. Do you understand me?" He looks at Itachi, but glances over at Izuna to show that he wasn't in any way not included in this.
Both brothers nod slowly.
"Now," Madara looks back at Itachi. "What is wrong with you? What can you not tell me?"
Itachi's throat swells closed and he couldn't speak. He didn't want to admit what was happening to him - in fact he wished it wasn't at all so that he wouldn't have to ever think about it - but even though he knew now for certain that Madara wasn't going to let him leave this place without knowing the answer, Itachi just couldn't find the words.
His watery, dark eyes flicker over to Hashirama, who was staring back at him, as if trying to see something but it wasn't making sense to him. There was just something about Hashirama that was so alluring to Itachi. His dark eyes held this unbelievable power and assuredness that Itachi isn't surprised that he is such a successful leader, loved by his allies and family while feared by his enemies. Hashirama was like hurricane; unpredictable and devastatingly powerful, but there was a calmness about him. A beauty that wasn't easily described.
Hashirama's eyes promised him something, in that moment that their eyes connected. Hashirama promised to help him, no matter what it was. Hashirama was called a bleeding heart by many, Itachi's brothers and even Hashirama's brothers being the foremost runners, and it showed. He could be the kindest, most gentle person in the world, capable of intermixing with the local wildlife and fauna that lives and grows in the Land of Fire, but he was also very dangerous. The moment he learned the truth about his own brother's death being one of those moments.
That was just a shadow of Hashirama's power, Itachi realized. And when the moment comes when Hurricane Hashirama blows through, Itachi isn't so certain anyone will make it out alive.
It was that stark contrast that compelled him. Hashirama was nature. He was beautiful in his peaceful and serene moments, and in his dangerous and deadly ones. It's no surprise that he has such a strong connection with nature. It's who he is.
Staring into Hashirama's eyes gave Itachi a form of strength that was always bubbling inside of him that only showed itself when he really needed it - like now. And even though he still didn't want to do it, didn't want to say and give a name to what was happening to him, he knew that he had to. While he would never agree to calling off the search for those that killed Marume and Kawarama - and a part of him is willing to believe that if he was really daring he would probably be able to call Madara out on his words - he knew that his older brother was right.
If Itachi wanted to tare the people who killed his brother limb from limb, then he had to be strong enough to take a hit to the belly by his older brother who went into that battle with the intension not to cause too much physical harm.
Madara was right. Itachi had to be strong.
"What can't you say?" Izuna asks, mistaking Itachi's long silence as fear for speaking rather than gathering the courage to do so.
"Itachi?" Madara says softly, the dangerous look in his eyes, posture and words gone now as he reverts back to the man he has always been. Itachi's unyieldingly loving big brother.
Itachi looks between Madara and Izuna, voice terribly soft and broken, feeling the weight of his words heavily on his shoulders. It brings his physical pain to admit it, but he knows he has to. He will never let the people who killed his brother get away with it. "I.." Itachi says slowly, steeling himself before saying, "I am in an unbelievable amount of pain right now."