Chapter Ten: Chef Salad
Starting over was scary for her. She hadn't been on a first date in almost seven years. As she stood in front of the mirror applying the last of her makeup she couldn't ignore the feeling of butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Once she finished, she looked down at her outfit and took one final glance in the mirror before smiling to herself and heading back downstairs where she knew he was waiting.
He paced in the living room unable to get his nerves in check. He had gotten a second chance when he knew he didn't deserve it and he was not going to blow it this time. It scared and comforted him that he could see a future with Brooke. He hadn't felt that way about someone since Kate and he didn't want to get his heart broken again. The sound of heels clacking down the staircase brought him out of his trance and he looked to see her making her way toward him. His eyes bulged and he thought his heart had stopped beating for a few seconds. She looked stunning.
"It's too much, isn't it?" She asked self-consciously when she saw his reaction. "I can go change if—"
He reached out and squeezed her arm gently preventing her from going anywhere. "You look beautiful." He told her. The purple dress she had on hugged her body in all the right places and hit just above her knee. Her perfume was intoxicating and Julian could not get enough of it.
"So," She smiled. "Where are we going?"
He reached for her hand before leading her out of the house. "You really thing I'm going to tell you?" He grinned.
He pulled into an abandoned lot and he smiled when Brooke turned to look at him with a confused look on her face. "Can you tell me now where you're taking me?"
"You'll find out soon enough." He replied as he slowed the car down.
It came into view and her jaw dropped. "No way." She said as she looked out her window, at Julian and then back out the window.
He put the car in park, swung his door open and trotted over to her side of the car where he opened up her door and offered her his hand. She squeezed tighter as they approached the dock but instead of following him down the plank she stopped short. "C'mon," he encouraged as he held his hand out for her to take hold of again.
She shook her head. "I can't." She said as she stared down at the teal colored water.
"Don't worry, it's my boat. I didn't steal it." He joked but when he saw the seriousness in her eyes he stopped laughing. "Brooke, what's wrong?" He asked as he made his way back up the plank.
She shook her head and folded her arms over her chest as she looked anywhere but at him.
"Brooke," He pressed.
"It's embarrassing." She said quietly. "I feel so stupid."
He placed his hand on either side of her face forcing her to look at him. "You're not stupid, tell me what's wrong and I can fix it."
"I'm scared of the ocean." She said after a few moments of debating on whether or not she should tell him.
"You are?"
She nodded. "Yeah, ever since I was a little and a kid in my swimming class jumped off the dock and never resurfaced. It just swallowed him up."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "How come you didn't mention this before? We've been to the beach together."
She stared at the yacht. "That was different. Being safe on the shore and being on a boat in the middle of the ocean in deep water are two completely different things. What if I had to jump off the boat because something happened? What if I don't come up like that little boy? I'm scared to—"
"We don't have to go out on the boat." He said wrapping his arms tighter around her. "There are plenty of other things to do."
"No, you went through so much trouble of planning this. I'll be okay."
He didn't believe her. "It was no trouble at all. We can go down to the beach and have a picnic if you'd rather. I don't want to do something that is going to make you uncomfortable."
She looked at him and then at the boat. "Maybe it's time that I get over my fear, though. I mean, it's been 20 years."
"You're sure?" He asked skeptically.
"Only if you promise to keep me safe and let me squeeze your hand when I get scared which will probably be every ten seconds."
He grinned as he extended his hand to hers which he gently squeezed when she took hold. She was counting on him to protect her and keep her safe and he wasn't planning on letting her down. They neared the boat and he watched as she inspected it out of the corner of her eye. When she saw the name of the boat written elegantly she smiled and somehow felt safer. Olivia Rae. She squeezed his hand when the boat slightly rocked as the captain and crew got on. "It's okay." He said softly as he led her to the bow.
"And you said you went through no trouble at all." She laughed when she saw a table set elegantly for two at the bow of the boat. His yacht was massive, she had thought to herself as he led her through it. He could easily fit a hundred people on it comfortably yet she doubted he ever had more than a couple friends on at a time. "Brooke?" She shook her head at the sound of her name. "What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" He smiled.
"Have you brought the previous nannies onto your yacht?"
Her question had completely caught him off guard. He stared at her for a few seconds and contemplated on whether he should buy himself some time or just be upfront and honest with her. "Yes." His voice was low and shameful.
She let go of his hand and stood up but instantly regretted doing so. The reality of being on the boat hit her and she started to panic. "I need to get off!" She yelled. "I'm going to drown! Get me off!" He was by her side within seconds and even though he knew it was the last thing she wanted, he picked her up and carried her down to his cabin where she wouldn't be able to see the ocean anymore. "I can't breathe!" She cried as she began gasping for air. He instantly reached for the paper bag he kept by his bed in case of seasickness and held it up to her face and told her to breathe into it as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. Her breathing took a few minutes to return back to normal but when it did he couldn't help but smile at her and breathe a sigh of relief.
"What just happened?" She asked as she took in her new surroundings. "Where am I?"
He saw the panic return to her eyes. "You had a panic attack and you hyperventilated." He explained as he placed his hand on top of hers. "I brought you down into the cabin so you'd be away from the water. It's okay now. You're okay now."
She nodded at his words as she started to remember what had happened a few minutes earlier. She remembered why she had begun to panic and it was his fault. "How many?" She asked.
He eyed her. "How many what?"
"How many of them did you bring here?"
"All of them." He replied sheepishly.
She buried her head in her hands and the sight nearly broke his heart. "This isn't a game to me, Julian. What I feel for you is real and if you don't feel the same way about me then just let me go. Don't let me fall even harder just so you can rip the rug out from underneath me in a couple weeks or months when you get bored. I don't want to be just another nanny you bring onto the yacht that you wine and dine and romance. I'm not that kind of girl and—"
He pressed a finger against her lips, instantly shushing her. "You want the truth, right?" He asked softly. She nodded. "I brought them onto the boat because I wanted to show it off; I wanted them to see that I had more money than God, I wanted them to envy me. But with you, it's different. I know you could care less about how much money I have or don't have; you're not interested in any of that…you're interested in me and that's what scares me. No girl has ever been into just me and not me and my money. I wanted to do something special because I think you deserve it. I've never had Pierre make dinner to be served out on the bow at a table set for two. I've never been so nervous to take a girl onto the boat until tonight because I've never had so much to lose."
She had never seen him so sincere before; the way he spoke to her made her realize how much he cared about her. There was so much conviction in his voice. So what if he had brought the previous nannies on the boat? That was his past and she wanted more than anything to be a part of his future. "I'm sorry." She said softly as she rubbed her thumb against his.
"For what?" He grinned.
"For constantly bringing up the past," She replied as she shrugged. "I know I shouldn't because it doesn't do anything but put us at odds but sometimes I just can't help myself."
He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "It's okay. I'd be curious too if I were you."
"You would?"
He nodded. "Are you okay here by yourself for a couple seconds?" He asked as he stood up.
"Yeah," She said from her spot in the middle of his bed. "I should be okay."
He smiled before heading into an adjoining room. "Julian?" She called a few moments later. "Do you have any Chap Stick I could use?"
"Yeah," He called back. "Top drawer next to the bed."
She leaned over careful not to lose her balance as the boat rocked back and forth slightly. She pulled the drawer open just as Julian returned. He saw her paled skin and he looked down into the drawer where her eyes were fixated. He felt his stomach flop and he silently cursed himself. The date was turning into a disaster all because of him and his stupid past. "Brooke, I can explain—"
"I don't think you have to." She replied as she looked up at him for the first time. "It's pretty self-explanatory." The Chap Stick may be in the drawer but there was no way in hell that Brooke was going to fish through the dozens of empty condom wrappers to find it. He leaned down and closed the drawer before looking at her. To his surprise she didn't look angry or upset, instead she was staring at something else.
"You ready to go back up to the bow?" He asked as he offered her his hand.
"Only on one condition." She smirked.
Ten minutes later they were seated at the table on the bow of the boat looking out at the ocean waiting for Pierre to serve the first course. "Are you going to take that thing off?" He asked as he reached for his beer.
"No way!" She exclaimed.
"Brooke," He laughed. "You look ridiculous."
"It's keeping me safe. You should have one on too, you know."
"The boat is keeping you safe not the lifejacket. The only time the lifejacket will keep you safe is if we have to jump into the ocean because, god forbid, something happened to the boat." He explained.
She shrugged. "I haven't freaked out yet, have I?"
He shook his head and couldn't help but laugh. He had thought she was joking when she had asked if she could put on the bright orange lifejacket down in his cabin but she had been dead serious. "You're something else, you know that?"
Brooke nodded proudly. "So," She said after taking a sip of her wine. "Does Olivia know that you named your yacht after her?"
He shook his head. "She doesn't even know I have a boat."
Brooke raised her brows. "She doesn't?"
"No, believe it or not we really didn't have much of a relationship before you showed up."
"You don't say," Brooke teased.
The sun was setting and Julian couldn't help but notice the glow the setting rays cast on Brooke. She looked like an angel and he felt like the luckiest man in the world as he sat next to her holding her hand. He squeezed it gently. "How are you doing?"
"I'm okay. I feel safe."
He smiled. "Because of the lifejacket?"
"No, because of you."
He couldn't resist her any longer, especially after the way she had just looked at him. He let go of her hand and cupped her face before leaning in to kiss her softly. Her hands snaked up to his face and he smiled into the kiss as she began to deepen it. When they finally pulled away from each other, they were surprised to see their chef salads sitting in front of them. He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently which made her smile.
The boat suddenly lurched forward which caused Brooke to cry out in fear. The look on her face was pure panic as she reached for Julian. "You're okay," He assured her as he wrapped her in his arms. Gary, the captain's right hand man, quickly made his way toward the couple. "You need to get downstairs!" He yelled.
"What's going on?" Julian asked. The sky suddenly changed; the sun had disappeared and black clouds took its place. Thunder boomed overhead and it smelled like rain.
"We're headed into a storm, choppy seas and high winds." Gary responded.
"Can't you tell Alan to turn around?"
Gary shook his head. "We're too far in. We're just going to have to ride it out, we'll probably be back to shore sometime tomorrow morning."
"Tomorrow morning?" Brooke repeated. Julian could feel her body starting to tremble. "It's going to be okay." He whispered into her ear before kissing the top of her head. "Let's get down to the cabin."
The rain started to come down in sheets. Within seconds they were both soaked and Julian quickly stood, scooped Brooke into his arms and headed toward his cabin. "What are we going to do?" She asked once they were out of the rain. "Are we going to crash?"
He shook his head. "We're in the middle of the ocean, there's nothing to crash into."
"What if the boat flips over? The wind and choppy seas could do that, couldn't they?"
"Brooke," He said as he placed both of his hands on her shoulders. "We are going to be fine. Alan is one of the best captains and he's not going to let anything happen to us. Everything is going to be okay."
He handed her a pair of his flannel pajamas and an oversized t-shirt which she took uncertainly. "You're soaking wet, you need to change." He explained. He led her to the bathroom where she struggled to maintain her balance and she cried out to Julian several times. He opened the door to see her sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and her face in her hands. She looked adorable in his pajamas even though she had that damn lifejacket strapped on over them. This was by far the worst first date ever, he thought to himself, as he bent down and picked her up. Carefully, he laid her down on his bed before walking to the other side and climbing in. "I'm scared." She cried as she moved closer to him.
"I know." He whispered as he looked at her. She snuggled up against him but the lifejacket made it uncomfortable. "Do you trust me?" He asked and smiled slightly when she nodded. "Do you think you could take the lifejacket off? I promise you'll still be safe." He waited and smiled even more when she unclasped the buckle. He tossed it onto the floor as she scooted closer to him, eventually settling in with her head resting on his chest and her arms wrapped around his muscular body. He held her tight as the boat continued to rock hard from side to side. "Favorite movie?"
"Pretty Woman." She whispered as a smile spread across her face. The question put her at ease and brought her back to the day on the beach when they first started asking each other different questions in order to get to know the other better. Ever since then it had become their thing, it had functioned as an icebreaker, a truce, and now a distracter. "Favorite holiday?"
He smiled down at her in his arms. He would ask her questions all night if he had to in order to keep her mind off of what was happening with the boat and the storm. Seeing her as vulnerable as she had been ever since they had gotten on the boat made him fall even more in love with her. Ever since he had met her, she had been strong and independent but today was different. She had to depend on him to keep her safe, she had to trust him. She had showed him a different side of herself, a softer side, a side he found to be incredibly human and surprisingly irresistible. "Julian?" Her voice brought him back. "Sorry, Fourth of July." He grinned. "Favorite class in high school?"
She suddenly sat up. "Nothing's going to happen tonight." She motioned toward the top drawer that was full of open condom wrappers. "I may be scared and vulnerable and in your bed holding onto you for dear life but I'm not—"
"I know." He said as he sat up and rubbed his hand down her arm. "Holding you in my arms and knowing you're not going anywhere is more than enough for me." He pulled her into a hug and felt her warm tears fall onto the back of his neck. "I will never pressure you into having sex, Brooke." He said as he looked into her eyes. "I know how important it is that you save yourself for marriage and I would never make you sacrifice that."
"Thank you." She smiled through the tears.
They settled back into bed, her cradled in his arms, and picked right back up with their questions. The boat continued to rock back and forth and at times he would feel her whole body tense up. When that happened, he pulled her closer and rubbed circles on her back. "Favorite season?" When he didn't hear her respond he looked down to see her sleeping peacefully against his chest. He smiled at the sight before gently kissing the top of his head. Being with her was easy; he didn't have to pretend to be somebody he wasn't. He didn't have to put on an act. He didn't have to impress her with lavish things. She could care less about that kind of stuff; all she cared about was him and the man he was on the inside. Maybe, he thought as he started to doze off with her in his arms, this wasn't such a bad first date after all.
-x-x-x-
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