Authors Note:

Happy Holidays! Anyone else excited to see Sam and Santana fight over Brittany in Glee? I am but I wont get my hopes up because well.. It's Glee.

"Oh. And Naya is the mother of my triplets after that video, so I'd appreciate it if you left our family alone, don't pull a Sam Evans (using your fic against youuuuu)"

I am so happy you're back! You always make me smile! P.S. Make an account so I never loose you!

Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!

Love,

JMO

My stomach feels like it's tied in knots but not in the usual good way. Our week alone after we got into our big fight was weird and awkward. When have I ever felt awkward with or around you? Christmas was sweet as usual but it didn't feel the same. We made sure to be all lovey dovey in front of the girls because they don't need to know when anything is ever wrong between us. What is wrong with us San? We got Val and Ava matching Barbie electric cars and I love video taping them when they're riding in them. I always wanted one of those things when I was younger so it always makes me smile. It's Sunday and Ava and Val have school off until January 7th so they're cuddled up on the couch drinking hot co-co and watching Christmas movies. We both haven't had much time off of work so it's nice watching our babies lay around and enjoy the small things except you're not home yet and it's 8pm.

I've tried calling you but the line is always busy. I tried texting you earlier but you simply replied with "Working. Ttyl." You didn't even sign with the usual "Xoxo" Or "I love you." Sometimes when you actually do come home early enough when we're both here and you look like you're going to explode we sit down and try to talk but if it's not Valerie who needs something it's Ava. If it's not Ava it's your phone ringing for work, if it's not your work then it's mine. I'm dealing with a lot at the studio. They want me to take over and make it mine but I don't think I can handle all of that responsibility. I feel like right now every time you need me I can seem to find time. What kind a wife am I that I can't find time to spend with you? You walk in quietly and hang your coat on the coat rack and slip off your boots. I get up and walk over to you, "It's snowing?" You just nod and keep your head down and I frown and whisper, "What's the matter Baby?"

You shake your head no and put your brief case down on the counter and walk over to the living room to lean over the couch to give our girls a kiss on the cheek which results into two adorable squeals, "Eww Mami you're cold!" and a sweet soft voice from Val, "It's okay Mami, you can kiss me even if there is boogies drippin' on my face." You laugh at that and it's nice to hear you laugh so genuine. You go to say something but your phone rings and you let out a frustrated sigh and pick up your phone from the counter, "Hello?" I sit down and watch you speak, "Yeah Q." You lower your voice in a hushed tone, "No. Still the same…" You clear your throat, "Next subject… If they want yeah I'll ask them." You moved your face away from the phone and you look at me, "B, Quinn and Rachel want to take the girls to another Broadway showing.. That okay with you?" I shrug my shoulders, "If they want to." You turn your directions to the girls, "Hey munchkins Auntie Q and Auntie Rach want to take you two to another showing. Cool with-" They interrupt you with excited screams, "Yes! So fun! Yes!"

You giggle softly. "Yeah I'll have them ready early tomorrow. Goodnight, Love you." You hang up and I can't help but feel upset that you told Quinn you love her but you havent even said it to me all day. I brush it off and get up, "Alright kiddos, you have an early morning so off to bed." We tuck them in together and when they fall asleep we quietly sneak out. I clean up the house a little then walk into our room to find you just laying on the bed in your robe, hair still wet, and usually this would turn me on to no end but you look so sad. I lay next to you and move your hair our of your face and whisper as if it were a secret, "What's bothering you?" You shrug and whisper back, "Just really exhausted." and with that you get up and slip on some shorts and a sweatshirt and hop into bed under the covers.

The next two days the girls aren't home and right now we're both at work. I just finished up two classes and now I'm sitting with Ben, the owner of this studio. "Mrs. Lopez look, I've seen you dance millions of times. You're the best dancer I have ever seen. I can't keep running this studio though but I know how you feel about the kids you work with and introducing them to dance. If you don't take up this offer we're shutting this down. Just think about it." I smile at him calling me Mrs. Lopez. I take a second to think about it, "You can call me Brittany Ben. I've known you for years now. Give me a couple more days and I'll let you know okay?" Ben smiles at me and hugs me then walks away. I sigh and pick up my phone to call you, I'm actually surprised you picked up.

I put my feet up on a chair, "Hey Babe." I can hear you settling down and moving papers around, "Hey. What do you need?" My smile faded, "To talk to my wife?" You let out a frustrated breath, "Britt I'm busy that's all." I shake my head, "You always are now Santana." You scoff, "Don't do that. Don't use my first name like I'm one of your students or something." I roll my eyes, "Don't pick up the phone like I'm one of your clients." We don't argue. This isn't us and suddenly I just want to cry. I let out a shaky breath, "I'll see you at home." You're about to say something but I hang up. I feel like I'm loosing you and that's something I can't handle.

It's 10pm and you're still not home. Everything is off in the house except the downstairs light so you don't slip and fall when you walk in the house because of the snow outside. I've been laying here for about two hours wondering how to be there for you or how to fix us. Ten minuets later I hear movement downstairs and I know it's you. You walk into the room and you hiccup softly. You're drunk. You sit on the dresser and turn on the light to look at me. You're looking down and your hair is covering your face. I expected your words to be slurred but they're just soft and sad, "Britt." I sit up, "Yeah?" You're biting your lip which means you're trying not to cry but after a while you let it out and you start to cry, "I uh.. I know everything has been hard and stuff and uhm.."

You look up and I might throw up because you look so lost and conflicted and I feel like it's all my fault, "Do you still love me B?" I quickly slide off the bed and whip your tears then run my hands through your damp hair and cup your face in my hands so we're looking in each others eyes, "Baby, I could never stop loving you. I am still so in love with you that it drives me crazy. Why would you think I don't?" You start to cry again, "I told you I would let it go but I just feel so fucking insecure because when your phone rings I'm afraid it's Sam. I don't want to be so hard to love that you have to talk to him ever again." I feel the tears sting my eyes and I go to talk but you keep going, "Abuela came that day to say sorry again and I want to let her in so bad but I'm so scared. I'm so sorry about today on the phone, I didn't mean to give you an attitude. Defending this asshole is the hardest thing I've had to do and I was frustrated and I took it out on you and I'm sorry."

I let go of your face and pull you into a tight hug, "Baby you're not hard to love. You were raised to think that and I know that but loving you comes so naturally like peeing." You giggle, "Peeing?" I smile softly, "Yeah! Maybe I should have said breathing… Anyway, I could love you for the rest of my entire life. You mean everything to me. Sam's number is blocked and deleted. I'm never talking to him again. I love you so so so much." You hold onto me tighter and whisper, "I just don't want you to give up on me." I shake my head, "I would never give up on you. Giving up on you means giving up on us and I could never do that." You pull away and dry your tears and slip your hand in mine and lead me downstairs. I don't ask any questions, I just watch you. You take out two whine glasses and set them on the table as you pull out a bottle of whine.

You smile at me, "How about we stay up all night, drink and talk about everything new or something?" I smile at you, "I'd love to." You go to sit down but I quickly grab your hand and pull you against me as our lips meet. I still get butterflies. I let my hand travel up and down your back as yours wrap around the back of my neck pulling me closer. After a while we pull away and you lean your forehead against mine. You smile the biggest you have in a while as you give me little pepper kisses all over my face until we're both giggling like two fifteen year olds. I love you more than words can express and I'm going to do everything I can to make it known again. I never want to loose you Baby.