Disclaimer: Are you as sick of hearing this as I am?
Author's Notes: Yay! I got my new chapter up sooner than last time! 3 If anything seems a little bit odd about it, please blame the beef rammen that I'm currently eating.
Bob: Amaya, do I have to remind you every time when to send in a new patient?
Gasp, I'm insulted! Just for that, I'm not going to even bother with the next person.
Bob: What? No! The whole reason I came here was to tend to patients!
You mean call everyone crazy and bar them in a glass case?
Bob: Well, that too. But I had no idea everyone would be crazy, anyhow! Come on, send the next person in!!!
Apologize first.
Bob: Why should I? It wasn't that insulting.
That's it, you're on your own, pal.
Bob: No, WAIT!!!!!!
Bob runs up to the narrator box and wraps his arms around my waist.
Bob: I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry! Please just send in the next patient!
…say I'm incredible.
Bob: No!
Suit yourself, I'm leaving.
Bob: (tightens his grip) Wait, no! (sighs) You're incredible.
You didn't sound very sincere.
Bob: But I was! Honest!
Then say it again.
Bob: Fine. You're incredible, Amaya, oh finest narrator on the planet next to whom I am but a worthless mortal.
Getting better. All right, you can let go now.
Bob: Promise you won't leave?
Promise.
Bob: Okay!
Bob lets me go and runs all the way back down to his armchair and that weird futon thing that all Shrinks have.
Enter Hatori
Bob: Right then, sir. What seems to be the problem?
Hatori: (glances at the crazy people case) Why do you have half my family contained in a glass case labelled "Crazy People"?
Bob: (sweat drops) Ha-half your family? Are you related to all of those people?
Hatori: No. Just Yuki, Kyo, Shigure, Kagura and Haru. They're my cousins.
Bob looks nervously at Hatori, at the glass case and back again.
Bob: Well, um…what's the matter? I guess.
Hatori: My fiancée and I loved each other for a really long time and she made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But then she found out about the Sohma family curse. Still, it didn't really matter to her, she still loved me. Of course Akito wasn't very happy about it, so he yelled at her and made her feel like total shit. Then Akito made me erase her memory to ease her pain, so we couldn't be engaged anymore and then she went off to marry some other guy and it sucks bad 'cause I still love her.
Bob: Wait, what?
Hatori: Do you want me to say it again?
Bob: No, that's fine. You can erase people's memories?
Hatori: Yeah. I'm a doctor.
Bob's eyes widen and he stares at Hatori for a while.
Bob: You're a doctor?
Hatori: Well, yeah…
Bob: HOW ON EARTH CAN ANYONE WHO'S A DOCTOR BE AS CRAZY AS YOU????
Hatori: Excuse me? I have a perfectly reasonable problem! How dare you call me crazy? Just because I say something that you may not believe doesn't mean I'm crazy! Is all you take as evidence? What about how my brain's working? Wouldn't that contribute to anything? To determine if I'm crazy or not, you'd need to…(rattles off a long boring list of technical doctor stuff)
While Hatori is totally pwning Bob, let's watch this short video about drug prevention. Akito and Naraku both run onto the screen.
Akito: Hey, Naraku, do you want some heroin?
Naraku: NO!
Akito and Naraku: SAY NO TO DRUGS, KIDS!!!!
And now back to our regular program. Hatori's just about done, now.
Bob: (extremely looooooong pause) I still say you're crazy.
And of course the buff guys come and all the lovely crap associated with them happens.
Bob: I'm so friggin' glad that's over.
You hate it when you meet people smarter than you, eh?
Bob: (glares) Shut up and send the next person in.
Enter Momiji
Bob: (eyes widen) You sent me a transvestite?
Momiji is NOT a transvestite, you jerk! It's not a girl's uniform, just a girly uniform.
Momiji: Um….why is no one asking me about my problem?
Bob: Oh, sorry (ahem) What's on your mind?
Momiji: Well, actually not much. I'm just a half German, half Japanese, cursed Junge. Mainly, I hate the curse.
Bob: Junge?
It's German for boy.
Bob: And you would know this how?
I speak German.
I stick my tongue out at Bob.
Bob glares back at me.
Bob: (turns back to Momiji) So you're cursed? Is that all? I'm running into a lot of cursed people…
Momiji: (thinks) Well, Kyo keeps beating me up for no good reason…
Bob: Ooh, you're getting abused?
Momiji: (shrugs) I suppose you could call it that…
Bob: Do you have any idea why he enjoys beating you to a bloody pulp?
Momiji: Well he never goes that far
Bob: Just answer the question!
Momiji: 'Cause I annoy the crap out of him, I guess
Bob: Ahh, that would cause quite a bit of anger, I see.
Momiji: (cocks head) Are you prone to anger Herr Shrink? Maybe you should go to a therapist about that…
Bob: (anime vein) I AM A THERAPIST YOU MORON! I DON'T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course you don't, Bob. That's why you're screaming like a maniac…
Bob: Shut up! This is none of your business!!!
Actually, it is, seeing as I'm NARRATING IT!
Bob: That doesn't mean you have to make smart-ass comments!
Oh, but it does, it actually does.
Bob: SAYS WHO????
Says ME you idiot, I decide what goes on here, remember?
Bob:….damn.
Momiji: Excuse me? Aren't you supposed to be helping me?
Bob: Oh, very well. I'm sure you turn into a cow or something when a girl hugs you, right?
Momiji: Well actually, a rabbit. Haru's the cow.
Bob: Either way you're still crazy. Auf Wiedersehen!
The buff guys come and do what they do best.
Hey, Bob, when did you learn to speak German?
Bob: I looked at your unfinished homework
Shh, no one knows about that…
Read and Review! PLEASE????? (really cute anime chibi pleading eyes)