Hmm, I've been under a non-writing spell lately ^^;
More 'suspense' until the tests I guess! Don't worry, it'll be coming soon! (I hope .___.'')
Hirata was laboring away in the kitchen when Sasori bombarded into the steam filled room. "What brings you here, Danna?" Hirata asked, wiping her forehead and smiling in satisfaction, examining a bubbling pot on the stove. Sasori didn't anticipate approaching her so loudly, he had meant to come in silently and surprise her by asking her what she was making over her shoulder, but seems it didn't work out. "O-oh…" He said in shock ogling at all the food that was already made. There was a rice cooker next to the food pantry that was emitting steam; it smelled good. Readily sitting next to it, 12 pairs of chopsticks were resting on top of 12 small bowls that were stacked up to equal the height of the rice cooker. When you looked across the room, Hirata was still inspecting the stove for any mishaps that might happen to the bubbling stew that was on it. She turned down the heat on the stove and picked up a knife that was sitting on a cutting board next to it. Hirata spun around and pointed the knife at Sasori, with a wink, she said, "Or should I say, what has thou brought you here, most valued Danna?" in a childish medieval tone. Sasori didn't really know what to say, he stepped back nervously and said, "U-uh… I don't know, just wanted to see what was cooking." With that he turned around and tried to rush out the door. But before he was even partially outside the doorway, a knife had soared dangerously close to Sasori's face and stabbed the doorframe. "Aw, I missed~" Hirata pretended to pout with a playful grin on her face. When Sasori turned around and stared with huge stunned eyes at her, Hirata giggled. "You don't have to leave Danna, in fact, I was kinda lonely. Besides, I could use some help." She informed Sasori, walking across the room to try to yank the kitchen knife out of the shabby doorframe. Sasori just nodded with the same stunned eyes on his face.
Then he noticed there was no longer the puppet head dangling off of Hirata's finger. "What'd you do to the puppet head?!!?!??" He screeched, making Hirata turn her head to face him with a guilty smile. "Well… um… You see," Hirata tried to explain with worried laughs in between her words, a sweat drop appeared on her forehead and she scratched the back of her head, "It would be too much of a hassle to cook with it attached to my finger you know… So I, uh…" She hesitated and Sasori gave her an expectant glare as he crossed his arms waiting. "I burned it off." Hirata finished with a surrendering sigh; she lowered her head and waited for Sasori's punishment. Surprisingly, he laughed, making Hirata raise her head in curiosity. Sasori looked down at her with an evil smirk and crouched down so he was eye level with her. He then raised his arm with a fist above her head; he let his fist fall with a thud on her head before she could do anything about it, it bounced off afterwards and he said, "Baka." He got up from his crouched position and waited for Hirata to say something. She was rubbing the spot she had been hit and was pouting immensely, "But Danna~" she whined, "You couldn't think of anything to do with it." Sasori realized it when she said it and felt a pang in his stomach, a fatal blow by Hirata. So he lowered his head in shame and let the purple swirls engulf the top part of his head. Hirata realized her victory and smiled evilly, "So you're going to help me, right?" She asked with the same smile on her face. Sasori just glared up at her and gave in; he straightened up once more and allowed Hirata to instruct him about what to do.
"Well," Hirata started as she skipped to the middle of the kitchen, "Since you have no idea in the least of how to cook, you will call me Sempai in this field of skill!" She finished triumphantly, putting her hands on her hips and nodding. Sasori was definitely in despair, he followed Hirata farther into the kitchen and mumbled, "What do you want me to do…" Hirata waited expectantly, Sasori looked at her with a frown, "Sempai…" He submitted. Hirata beamed at his cooperation and started to shoot orders at him, "Alright, Sasori, start with scooping the rice into the bowls. Make sure they're all equal, and when you're done with that, start chopping up some carrots and leave them in a bowl for me to put in the stew. You can organize the pots and pans too, I only cleaned them just now." With that, Sasori sulked off to the rice cooker and lifted the lid; the steam erupted from the cooker and into his face, making Hirata giggle behind his back. When he spun around to glare at her, she was stirring the stew and suppressing further laughter.
Deidara meanwhile had gotten back to his room, and was continuing his nonchalant conversations with Miyuki. "So you sure you're not worried about all the other tests, un?" Deidara asked, sitting cross-legged on his bed with his hands on his thighs palms up, Migi and Midari had currently been in the conversation. Miyuki was sitting on the floor directly across from Deidara; she was propped up on her hands and laid back. "Well, as long as the people involved don't try to kill me. Other than that, I'm sure I'll pass with pure wittiness, Sempai might think of something else though… I'm not sure, she takes a long time to think…" Miyuki replied with a confident look on her face, when she mentioned Hirata, she lowered her head in thought. Deidara really didn't care much about Hirata, so he commented, "She'll probably pass out of sheer stupidity, un. She doesn't seem to look very impressive, save the fact she claims she can cook, un." He mimicked Miyuki and propped himself up on his arms as he leaned back, he looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "Don't judge a book by its cover, Deidei-Kun." Miyuki said in the silence, surprising Deidara and causing him to look back at Miyuki, her brow was still furrowed in thought. "Hmm, whatever un…" He waved off the remark, it just added to one of the mysterious things he didn't care to even think about. Even though most of the things she said puzzled him, she seemed like a brilliant, protective, caring, and talented girl; Hirata didn't seem like much to him. She seemed like the clumsy, disoriented, absurd, and stupid type. Not interesting to him, he personally believed life should be interesting and full of color with swift, powerful moments of beauty. He knew Miyuki agreed with him, which fascinated him more, but he was curious why Miyuki would care so much about Hirata of all people.
So he decided to ask, he was too lazy to think it out, "Neh, Miyuki-Chan, why do you like Hirata anyways, un?" Miyuki glanced up at Deidara and raised an eyebrow; she answered bluntly, "She's my friend, why?" Deidara hoped he didn't offend Miyuki and went on, "Well, it just seems different from you in a lot of ways, un. Plus and minus don't match, friends are supposed to match, aren't they, un?" He prayed he didn't upset Miyuki in any way. To his surprise, she smiled, "But we do match, Deidara-Sama. You're only looking at a small part of the whole scenario, human beings are much more complex than most things. And you guys keep calling her stupid and stuff, one day she'll knock you out cold and surprise you. She likes doing that a lot," Miyuki giggled to herself, "If she can. Anywho, Sempai likes to surprise people based on knowledge of what people already know, and abruptly change it, or rarely do something out of the ordinary. I like to vary with my emotions and mess people up, that would be being out of the ordinary all the time, and randomizing things a lot." Miyuki preached, she tried to make it as simple as possible for what she said is true; human beings are very complex. Deidara seemed to grasp the concept, and inquired, "Oh… Guess Sasori needs to learn that then, un." Miyuki giggled. "We should go visit Sempai in the kitchen then." Deidara asked why, Miyuki giggled some more, "'Cause that's where Sasori would be. Or should I say, the 'Sexy-Puppet' is most likely with Sempai, in the kitchen, let's go." She kept laughing and got up from the floor, she headed for the door and Deidara followed, he had no idea what the 'Sexy-Puppet' business was about.
Back in the kitchen, Sasori had finished most of his chores and was assembling the pots and pans on hooks on the wall using chakara strings. He finished right when Hirata commanded, "You forgot to chop the carrots, Danna." Sasori grumbled, but he inwardly was having a little bit of fun helping Hirata out. "I feel like we're playing house or something…" He mumbled as he walked across the room. "I should not have to stoop so low." He continued, stopping beside Hirata and staring blandly down at the knife he was supposed to pick up. Hirata was peeling potatoes and replied, "Not house, real life. Get used to it, Danna." She started to hum and smiled while she continued her work. Sasori remained stubborn and was getting quite annoyed, "Why are you using that tone of voice with me? You're the one of lower rank here." Hirata looked sideways at Sasori, "Would you like to be head cook for probably the rest of your life?" She set down a fully peeled potato and faced Sasori; he just realized she was wearing a green apron with the white silhouette of an apple on it. "Listen here, life is a game, basically, that's what it is. This game has a lot of complex rules, you know. Different equations have different outcomes. This particular part of the game goes like this: Danna plus cooking equals listen to Hirata. Got it?" Hirata wasn't impatient, she just didn't want Sasori to just quit on her like that, and she hated quitters. Sasori was just staring back at her with his bored eyes and an annoyed expression. "Well, listen here, Hirata plus acting big equals annoyed Sasori." He said dully, and when Hirata sighed in reply, he stomped on her foot; which was still bare might I add. Hirata yelped and jumped up in pain, she clutched her foot and started hopping around in circles; Sasori nonchalantly looked over back at his station and picked up the knife, starting his chore.
That's when Deidara and Miyuki marched in. Deidara opened the door and popped in through the doorway, with a big grin he said, "Heya, un! What's cooking?" Miyuki popped in through the doorway under Deidara and with an equally radiant grin she added, "Yeah! It smells good!" Sasori was staring with raised eyebrows at them both with a skeptical look. Hirata was continuing rubbing her foot in attempts to make it feel better; Sasori stomped on it pretty hard. A/N ~ I mean really, his foot's made of WOOD! D: (And those shoes? Why wouldn't it hurt?) She was seated on the floor under the stove and next to Sasori's feet. She was the last to realize everyone else's presence. Deidara abruptly broke the peace, "Never thought you'd stoop so low, Sasori no Danna, un…" At that, Sasori was enraged. He gripped the knife he was holding in his hand and was aggravated to the max. Hirata looked up at him with worry, she muttered, "D-Danna… Don't do it…" Miyuki also was looking at Sasori with frightful eyes, Deidara seemed to not notice his rage and kept staring at Sasori with the same astonishment in his eyes from the fact he was 'cooking'. In midst of the heat, Deidara let out an 'un' questioning what the stressed silence was about as he looked around. Sasori cracked and sent the knife flying across the room towards Deidara's head. Too bad for him it hit the metal part of his headband; right in the middle of the village insignia too. Deidara was in mild surprise, but laughed when Sasori started cursing like a maniac. The sounds he made were frustrated ones signifying his pure agony, Deidara clutched his stomach and laughed harder, Miyuki couldn't help but join in. Hirata meanwhile was wrapped around Sasori's leg preventing him from doing any more damage. "My- GOD, SASORI, UN!!!" Deidara gasped between fits of laughter, the knife still jammed in his headband, enraging Sasori even more. It became extremely hard for Hirata to keep him down; Miyuki's equally loud laughter didn't help either.
Hirata attempted to talk Sasori out of his rage. "No! Danna, it's ok, he didn't really mean anything! It's all right, he's probably just jealous; he didn't really mean it, right, Deidei-Chan? Seriously, just stop it with this killing intent, really! WE NEED THE AKATSUKI TO CARRY ON!! Come on, Danna, he's a human, not a puppet, they're two different things!! SASORI!!" Hirata said with distressed words. Deidara ruined it all, "Ha, you think, un? Sasori no Danna must be malfunctioning or something, un!" He burst out, continuing his bellowing laughter. "I'M- GONNA- GET YOU, BRAT!!" Sasori roared. Not leaving Hirata's grasp, but dragging her with him, Sasori charged at Deidara and he started to run. Deidara was still laughing like an idiot while the knife remained in his headband, Sasori was dragging Hirata on the ground as he pursued him, but when he sharply turned a corner, Hirata was flung off of Sasori's leg and into the wall across from the kitchen's doorway. The two grown men were speeding down the hallway, one bawling and taunting his chaser, while the other was cursing loudly with many annoyed marks surrounding his head. Miyuki continued laughing for she enjoyed the Akatsuki theatre; it included a lot of grown men fighting, which she found absolutely hilarious. She turned her head to see her companion in a lump. "So- you and Deidara just cost me my worker." Hirata mumbled in despair. Miyuki smiled, even though Hirata couldn't see it, and replied, "Yup!" Miyuki beamed enjoying what just happened. Hirata shifted "Well then-" She got up completely and was still facing the wall, there was something about the eerie way she was speaking that frightened Miyuki. "S-Sempai?" She stuttered, Hirata just laughed a low-pitched and menacing laugh. "Well, workers gotta be replaced, don't they, Yuki-Chan." She turned around abruptly and started to walk slowly towards Miyuki with her head facing the ground and eyes black and sulking, Miyuki was staring at her with wide eyes. The next thing she knew she was being dragged by her collar into the kitchen to finish preparing lunch.
They were done in a manner of minutes; Hirata seemed pleased when they were all gathered around at the same table examining her food. "Looks good…" Itachi mumbled, scooping some of his rice out of its bowl, inspecting it for any glass shards. "Oh thanks! Couldn't have done it if Miyuki and Sasori weren't there to help me." Hirata replied with a radiant beam as she stared at Miyuki, who was laughing nervously and Sasori, who was sitting next to Deidara, who was equipped with a cast, bandages, and many bruises. After glaring at Deidara, Hirata went back to smiling at the rest of the Akatsuki, "Dig in!" she called out, and all at once, the Akatsuki replied, "Itadakimasu!" They started feasting on the food that took over an hour to make, when it only should've taken 20 minutes. It tasted good nonetheless. The quite hum of chatter started in between the Akatsuki members, and it seemed like they were having a good time enjoyed the privileges of having a prepared meal for once. Hirata and Miyuki were conversing about their test strategies in the midst of the merry conversations. "I'd like to make an announcement," Miyuki said as she rose out of her seat, the Akatsuki quieted down. "We're going to split up the tests between Sempai and I, she'll do the first three, and I'll do the next three," She paused, "But when the 7th test comes up, we'll have to do that one together. The final two will be separate." Miyuki finished with a nod, "That is our strategy. We'll just have to hope it works out for the both of us." Tobi was happy they were so into his plan. "But Hira-Chan, Miyu-Chan, there's 10 tests, not 9." He pointed out, literally pointing with his chopsticks. Miyuki glared at Tobi with a face only Deidara could've pulled off, "There were only 9 on the paper you gave us." Miyuki replied with an agitated tone. Tobi solved this problem quickly, "The last one's a surprise I guess~!!" Miyuki sighed and nodded, she seated herself and continued her meal. Hirata seemed pretty happy, she merrily shouted, "Just you wait, we're not gonna become your maids just yet!!" With that, the two girls nodded to each other and continued their meal with a strange feeling of triumph.
Ha, what a wonderful feeling of... Relief?
Hey look! They're in smaller paragraphs this time!! 8D