SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! Had stuff to do and what not, anyway after the events that happened not so long ago Jazz tries to fix things and Sentinel comes up with his own plans...also this chapter is a little short...sorry

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS REFERENCES TO RAPE AND A LITTLE MECH ON MECH LOVE. DO NOT READ IF THIS OFFENDS YOU! YO HAVE BEEN WARNED!

A Woeful time

The Steelhaven had never felt so dark and depressing in all that time the white ninja 'bot had served on it. The once bright hallways were now dim with glum and the buzzing sensation the ship gave off no longer had that enthusiastic effect it always gave it's crew. Looking around with lost optics, Jazz was almost certain this was the not the same ship he had joined many stellar cycles ago but, of course, his logic circuits confirmed that it was, the mood had just been affected. There was an old Cybertronian saying that the if the Commander of the Ship was in a bad mood then the ship itself would be in a bad mood, thus the morale of the crew would darken. Since the ship and it's Commander shared a unique bond with each other, they could feel each other's joy or pain...this time, however, it was misery.

Sighing, Jazz stood before the large door, that lead to the office of Magnus, with a heavy and almost unbearable weight in his Spark. Looking at the large door that loomed before him he could already detect the terrible depression that was coming from within. He himself was getting affected by it and it was making him so depressed that he could not find the will to knock and enter in fear that he would only stir the dark flames of misery. However he knew that he was the only one who had a chance to put them out...if he could. To be honest he wasn't even sure if he could. However he had to try. He had to.

Last night...every thing had gone wrong...horribly wrong.

Last night Jazz had convinced Ultra Magnus to confess his feelings to Optimus...and it failed. Yes it was rushed but he believed there wouldn't be any problems with that. He planned a quick party, tried to get everyone to loosen up and have fun, help Optimus to relax, help Ultra Magnus feel calm and prepared. Managed to somehow get Optimus alone up on the roof of their base, got the Magnus to follow him up there and chat with him. Every thing was going according to plan. The mood was set, the two 'bots who were looking for love were there, Ultra Magnus confessed in a cute yet wonderful way...so what the frag went wrong?

Why did Optimus reject him? Why did he turn him down so harshly? Why? It didn't make any sense!

The ninja 'bot was certain that everything would go according to plan. He wouldn't have thrown Magnus in there if he wasn't certain. He had studied their actions, listen to what the Magnus had told him, watched Optimus when he could, pushed them to get together and talk together. He had so much experience in the past he was sure that it would happen! That night was supposed to be the night it would all come together! It was going to be their night! Optimus would listen to the sweet words from the Magnus. He would return the elder mech's embrace and and fall for him. They would have a happily ever after, become mates, maybe have some sparklings and spend a wonderful eternity together!

So what did go wrong?

There was something...something he did not see...something that was affecting the whole thing but he could not see it...but what was it? What was the fault with Optimus Prime?

So many questions and no clue where to look for answers. All could do now was to try and give the Spark-broken mech some hope. Knowing he was going to have to do this sooner or later he gently knocked on the door. It didn't surprise him that he got no answer the first time although he was kind of hoping fo a grunt or a growl at least. Sighing he knocked again and once again he go no answer. He knew he could hear him but it was obvious now that he did not wish to answer. Making a small grunt and bracing himself for the worst he opened the door, regardless of the fact no one was answering him.

Opening the door slowly and as quietly as he could he peered in.

Inside the grand office it was dimly lit and the darkness was only adding more to the depression he was already in. Looking around the dark room he finally spotted the Magnus, sitting at his desk with his head hanging low and his mood as foul as ever. A couple of large empty containers of strong Energon sat right next to him, meaning he had been drinking. His whole frame was deathly still and if were not for the fact he was still blue and silver, Jazz would have assumed he was off line. His hammer was lying on a nearby couch but he did not seem to care about where he put the proud symbol of leadership. Jazz had to admit he was a little scared. He had seen Ultra Magnus when he was in a foul mood and it was usually something he tried to avoid or even prevent.

Taking another deep breath he stepped in and made a noticeable cough, which of course got no response.

'Ultra Magnus, sir?'

Once again no response.

'Sir?'

Still nothing. Jazz sighed and shook his head. He wasn't going tp bother with the small talk for he knew it would be pointless. He had a feeling what he was about to suggest to the elder mech would be pointless, but he had to try.

'Sir! Ultra Magnus sir, would you please lis-...'

'Listen to what?' hissed the Magnus.

The tone he used and the way he glared at Jazz as he raised his head almost frightened the poor ninja 'bot, but he held his ground.

'Sir, please...I...I am sorry about last night...b-but we can fix this!'

'Jazz...'

'If I just talk to him...'

'Jazz...'

'I know I can find out why-...'

'JAZZ!'

Ultra Magnus suddenly rose from his desk and slammed his fists into the table so hard he almost broke it. Jazz almost jumped back out of fear but, as it was his duty to care for the well-being of the Magnus, he continued to hold his ground.

However now that he was up and looking at the ninja 'bot he could see him clearly he could see how angry and how upset he really was. His optics were full of pain and confusion to the rejection he had received. The terrible emotions had taken over and the elder mech was lost in his own storm of bitter feelings and misery. His mouth was quivering as he was trying to hold in curses and words of pain that he did not wish to utter. His was weary and exhausted meaning he had been up all night and his breath reeked of strong Energon meaning that he was either drunk or suffering from a bad hang over. Either way Jazz had to be careful. Real careful.

'Sir please. I am sorry for what happened...but...but I believe I can resolve this!'

Ultra Magnus growled and shook his head.

'No Jazz...I want you to forget every thing! This is no longer your concern!'

'But sir-...'

'BUT NOTHING! I was a fool...I never should of...forget it...just forget it.'

The Magnus sighed and sank back down onto his chair. He hid his face behind a heavy hand and issued an order to the Elite Guard that stood before him.

'Jazz, we will be leaving in a solar cycle and I want you to make sure the necessary preparations are completed before we leave. Make we're well stocked and make sure the Autobots here are given a good supply of Energon and stasis cuffs...and send a report to Optimus Prime...along with an apology...and inform him that I will trouble him no further.'

Jazz's optics widen with horror. Was he just giving up? On a mech he dreamed about and cared for with all his Spark?

'B-but sir-..'

'THAT...is all Jazz. You are dismissed.'

And with that he spun his chair around so his back was towards him.

Wanting to scream and plead with him to reconsider, Jazz stood there refusing to budge from his spot. This couldn't be real! The Magnus was just giving up? Just like that? He was the one who chased the Decepticons away from Cybertron. He was the only Autobot the Decepticons were too afraid to name. He never gave up in the heat of battle, never turned down a challenge and never gave up even when defeat was staring at him in the face. Yet now...now after being rejected the love he wanted from a mech he cared for Primus knew how long...he had fallen...he had been defeated by the cruel face of love.

Maybe he was just still depressed over the sudden rejection, he could not blame him for that. It was natural for him to be like this, he wasn't a cruel Decepticon who had no Spark for these sort of things that only an Autobot could understand. It would take time but hopefully he would calm down and get back to normal, hopefully willing to try and win Optimus's Spark again. Of course by then Optimus may have tried to find a way to keep himself away from the Magnus. However he needed to leave Ultra Magnus alone for now and let him have some thinking time, hoping it would help him see that there would still be a chance. Until then, Jazz was going to find out why Optimus Prime rejected a mech that he so clearly liked enough to fall in love with.

Taking his leave he quietly stepped out and closed the door, praying to Primus that he would watch over the troubled Magnus in this woeful time. Taking another deep sigh he turned round and was almost startled to see Prowl standing there in the hallway, leaning against the wall and looking at Jazz with concern.

'Is the Magnus alright?'

Jazz nodded and smiled as best he could.

'He's takin' it hard...but who could blame him?'

The two ninja 'bots sighed and continued to linger in the hallway.

'So...how are the other 'bots?'

'All of them have hangovers, including Sentinel, who is sleeping on one of the conveyor belts. I do not have the Spark to wake him. Sari is over-sleeping as any organic child would so she won't be a bother for a while. None of them knew what happened last night between Optimus and Ultra Magnus.'

Jazz figured as much but was thankful that none of the other 'bots didn't find out about the drama. Last thing they needed was the whole group to find out that the Magnus had a love interest in the young Prime and get some strange ideas.

'...and Optimus?'

Prowl shook his head.

'He's...been in his room all morning. He hasn't answered any of my comm requests nor sent me any. If...if this does keep up I will have to inform Ratchet the REAL reason he's gone into hiding.'

The white ninja 'bot was desperately hoping it wasn't going to come to that. He didn't want to the other 'bots to know what happened in case they got the wrong idea. Of course eventually they were going to have to get Optimus out of his room if they didn't want the other 'bots to know what happened between him and the Magnus. The only option right now was to go to Optimus and find out why he rejected the Magnus. Still...a small part of him was frustrated over the whole thing.

'I...I just don't get it Prowl...I've seen hundreds of couples fall in love! I watched how we fell in love! I can see the signs when I know that couples are ready to announce their love! It's become a second nature to me! Optimus clearly likes the Magnus...so why did he reject him?'

Growling in frustation he slumped against the wall and uttered a low huff of disappointment.

Prowl watched him and sighed as that troubling thought began to creep back into his mind. The one Ratchet had put into his CPU out of concern not too long ago. Something that he prayed would just be a terrible mistake, a wild theory and nothing more...but now Prowl was beginning to wonder. Could it be that the reason Optimus rejected Ultra Magnus was because he liked another mech? Was that other mech Jazz? His Jazz?

Looking up at his beloved Jazz he could see that this was troubling him greatly. He didn't do this for fun, he did it because it made him happy to see two 'bots fall in love with each other and to see that he helped bring them together made him feel that he was a good and decent mech. Maybe...maybe he should just tell him...tell him, but state that it was only a theory that he and Ratchet came up with to explain Optimus's attitude towards the black and gold ninja 'bot.

'Jazz...there is something I think you should know.'

The white ninja 'bot looked up with a curious look.

'Yes? What is it?'

Prowl sighed as he straightened up and scratched his helm.

'Well...I...I think I might know the reason Optimus rejected Ultra Magnus.'

He did not know how long he had been lying there nor did he wonder if he would ever get back wasn't even sure he wanted to get back up ever! Rolled onto his side and curling up in a protective shape he laid there for cycles and cycles, trying to rid his mind of these thoughts and those memories. From the early evening to the early morning he had laid there without refueling or recharging, his optics wide open, filled with confusion and fear. Gripping the sheets upon his berth, almost tearing them up as he held them for dear life. His whole frame had been trembling all night and he ignored the frantic pulsing of his hungry Spark.

Those words...those words would not leave his mind, nor vanish from his memory. No matter what he did they kept bouncing back and ringing in his audios.

'I love you.'

Uttering a small sob he rolled over and covered his audios with the makeshift pillow Sari made for him. However no matter how hard he covered his audios he could still hear those, almost painful, three words. They echoed around his CPU until it ached.

Why would the Magnus love him?

Optimus tried not to but he kept thinking back to that moment last night when Ultra Magnus held his hand and told him...told him...that he loved him. His optics were full of fear yet they were sincere. He was scared but he showed his honesty. He wasn't sure what scared him the most, the confession or the way Ultra Magnus looked at him. He didn't know what to say or do. He was still trying to understand what was being said to him by a mech who could get any 'bot he wanted. Why him? He wasn't a Tower 'bot. He didn't have a fancy career. The only reputation he had was a bad one. Why would the Magnus want him?

Before he could even begin to ask these questions, Ultra Magnus suddenly pulled him into a tight embrace and...and...he kissed him.

The moment he found himself bound by those powerful arms and silenced by that sudden kiss...Optimus started to panic. He felt scared, trapped and almost horrified. He couldn't feel the love that Ultra Magnus was trying to express, he could only feel fear and panic that his mind was projecting. The sensation of being trapped in the arms of another mech did not at all change his mood into becoming romantic. All he could feel was fear...fear and pain.

Memories of being trapped and all alone took over, he was unable to handle it. Soon he started seeing red optics, dark hands reaching out from the darkness to try and grab him, a terrible laughter filled his audios and a fearful voice could be heard. Images of terrible memories flashed across his optics, the pain that he thought had vanished long ago began to resurface and for one sickening moment he thought he was back in that dark forest with that terrible Decepticon. Something took over and before he knew it he had forced himself out of that hold and smacked him across the face.

He had smacked the Magnus across the face like some common 'bot.

For committing such an act he could get in serious trouble and locked up in the stockades for assaulting the Magnus. The High Court wouldn't even look into the fact that the Magnus had done something that had caused him to do such a thing. They wouldn't even believe it was in self defense. A mech like the Magnus could get away with murder if he wanted to and everyone would turn a blind optic. The Magnus had so much power and respect that no one would dare find a fault with him and if something were to anger him he would have the mech or femme who wronged him arrested.

However, so far, Ultra Magnus had not sent one of the Elite Guard's to come and arrest him.

So many thoughts were going through his mind it almost caused his CPU to crash. Ultra Magnus liked him. Ultra Magnus had confessed to him that he liked him. All that time they spent together was the Magnus...thinking about him...like that? Wanting to hold him, embrace him and treat him like a lover? He...did admit that Ultra Magnus was indeed a handsome mech, old but with a unique charm, and was rather appealing...but because of his rank Optimus had never once thought about him like that. He had never once considered about having a mech like Ultra Magnus for a mate.

He was strong, dependable and was definitely a mech that Optimus would want to be with as a mate...however...

He couldn't be his mate...he couldn't be the mate of Ultra Magnus. Ultra Magnus was a well loved Autobot throughout the Cybertronian Empire. All of their colonies, bases and occupied planets all loved the Magnus for who he was. He was respected by all, loved by many and was a mighty war hero that everyone wanted to meet. He inspired so many and brought hope to those who needed it. He was a god among mortal mechs and they say that Primus himself had blessed him with his love. A mech like him deserved a mate who was perfect for him...someone other than him. A mate who was equally loved by the public and who everyone would instantly accept. Someone like a pretty Tower 'bot or a highly respectable politician. Ultra Magnus deserved a 'bot who was worthy of him.

Optimus didn't fall into that category...he was not worthy enough to be the mate of the Magnus. He was lowly repair 'bot with a poor record, kicked out of the academy and hated by a great majority of the Elite Guard, no thanks to Sentinel. If he did accept Ultra Magnus's love and become his mate...he would ruin his reputation. He would only drag him down his pit of shame and dishoner. The Autobot's of Cybertron would hate him for stealing their beloved Magnus, the Elite Guard would accuse him of seducing the Magnus so he could get a powerful position and also...he couldn't be with the Magnus, even if he wanted to.

When Ultra Magnus held him...he panicked. When he kissed him...he felt fear. He could only feel fear, pain and a terrible ache in his Spark. It was shortly after that experience, that he realized that even if he became his mate, or anyone's mate, he wouldn't be able to handle it. Even after being held in a lover's embrace and kissed so tenderly he...he was unable to handle any of it. All he felt was pain and shame. It made him feel sick...instead of feeling loved he felt nothing but shame and disgust. He even almost believed that he was back in the terrible arms of Megatron and was trapped for eternity.

Also...if Ultra Magnus found out that he had been beaten and raped by the Decepticon Warlord and now carrying his Sparkling...he would be disgusted with him, call him a disgrace to the entire Autobot race and feel disgusted with himself that he had been attracted to such a failure. He might even throw him the stockades for deceiving him or hand him over to some lab 'bots so they could preform experiments on him and his Sparkling. He would forever hate him and lock him away to never see the light of Primus ever again. He wouldn't blame him...who would want to be with some Decepticon leftover? Who would want to be with an Autobot who was carrying a Decepticon Sparkling?

There were so many reasons as to "why" he could not be the mate of the Magnus...he didn't deserve to be with him, he was not worthy...he was disgusting and tainted with Decepticon filth covering his entire being and Spark. There was no way he could ever be with a mech like the Magnus.

As he laid there on his berth, he heard a knock at the door.

'Optimus Prime? Are ya in there?'

Optimus suddenly sat up, panic flooding his Spark. It was Jazz and with the way he was addressing him it meant that he had come here for some official business. Could it be that Ultra Magnus had sent him to arrest him? Or have him stripped from his rank for assaulting a Magnus? He knew this was going to happen but...he wasn't expecting this so soon. Whatever it was...he had to face it sooner or later.

Getting off his berth, cleaning it up and making sure that the room and himself were presentable, he walked over to let the white ninja 'bot in. He gripped the handle tightly, before pulling. Opening the door he could see that Jazz had a serious expression that he only ever used when it was official business.

'Can I help you?' he asked, trying to be polite, despite his inner hatred for the ninja 'bot.

Jazz sighed and stepped in, his arms folded and his mood seemed to be grim. Optimus felt a small spark of panic run through his frame, had he come to arrest him? Come to put some cuffs on him and drag him to the Steelhaven to be thrown into the brig? The white ninja 'bot sighed and looked up towards the ceiling.

'Look Optimus...I...er...need to talk to ya 'bout a few things.'

Optimus blinked, closing the door and facing Jazz, fearing what was about to come. With the way he was speaking it sounded personal and nothing to do with the Elite Guard. Did that mean that Ultra Magnus had not yet issued the order for his arrest? But why did Jazz want to speak to him about some personal matters? Wasn't that what Prowl was for?

'I...er...before we start I need to let ya know...that I knew about Ultra Magnus' attraction to ya. I was even tryin' to help bring au two together.'

Hearing this made Optimus' optics widen with shock. Jazz continued to stand there with his back to him, as if he did want wish to face him after reveling this sudden truth. He KNEW that the Magnus liked him? And that he had been been trying to get them together? W-why? Why would he do a thing like that?

'I know this is quite sudden but...he has liked ya for quite some time now. He's just been holdin' back in fear ya might reject him...but last night I pushed him to confess his feelings to ya and..well...his worst fear came true...there is just one thing I don't understand.'

Jazz suddenly whipped around, with a demanding expression on his face.

'First off...is there someone else ya like?'

Optimus now looked horrified and confused. Is that what he came here for? Just to find out why he rejected the Magnus?

'W-what the frag do you mean?'

Jazz suddenly stepped closer to Optimus, looking a little hurt.

'Is there another mech ya like? A mech...ya can't have 'cause he's with someone else?'

The ninja 'bot was now standing right in front of the young Autobot leader, leaning right up and looking at him straight in the optics, as if he was trying to study them. He seemed angry, frustrated and, a little, afraid for some reason. Why was he acting like this? What right did he have to come in here and demand such things from him? Even though he claimed that he was helping Ultra Magnus with his love life, why the frag should he tell him if he did like anyone else?

'I-I have no idea what you're talking about! Who do you think you are? Asking these things from me?'

'I want to know the reason ya rejected Ultra Magnus! Is it because ya hate him? You like someone else? Is there someone else ya like? Someone in this base?'

Optimus snarled slightly, he was not in the mood for this, especially from Jazz. Why did he want to know if he liked someone else? That seemed to be what he was aiming at, but for what reason? Why would he care?

'What are you implying?'

Jazz suddenly gritted his denta, baring them a little and lowered his head. His fists were clenched and trembled.

'Do...do ya...like me?'

For a split second Optimus thought that the universe had finally turned inside-out. Jazz...thought that he...liked him? Jazz was asuming that the reason he rejected Ultra Magnus was because he liked the white ninja 'bot? Anger and fury began to build up at the very idea of being with this mech...this mech who had caused his whole world to turn to chaos!

'W-why...WHY THE FRAG WOULD I LIKE YOU?' he snapped.

Jazz looked hard into Optimus's optics. He was clearly angry, a little embarrassed and confused with what had just been said. However he could see something...something deep within them that he was trying to hide. Something that Jazz could now see but was still unsure what it was.

'I just want a straight answer...someone got the wrong idea and...I just wanna confirm it 'cause I'm with Prowl and-...'

'Didn't you just HEAR me? I do not-...I am not attracted to you at all!' snapped Optimus, trying to tone it down but small sparks of rage shot up every now and then.

The ninja 'bot suddenly looked a little relieved, despite the harsh tone. After looking into Optimus' optics he could see, although he was quite angry and confused, he was sincere with his loud and angry answer. After Prowl had told him what Ratchet had informed him, he started to freak out. He knew that he was attractive but the very idea that he was the reason that Ultra Magnus lost his chance with Optimus made him panic and fret. He had been trying to get them together and now there was a chance that Optimus preferred him over the Magnus, which of course was not part of the plan. Prowl was equally concerned and also a little angry that Optimus was treating them in such a way but if they wanted to resolve the issue one of them had to talk to the Autobot leader.

Jazz decided to go and do the deed, since Prowl also confessed about the time when Optimus snapped at him, well it was more like a loud and offensive rant. He was horrified that Prowl had never told him about it before, he had guessed that Optimus was a little stressed but didn't realized how stressed he really was. He was a little mad that Optimus would say such a thing but for Ultra Magnus' sake he was going to ignore it for he was taught to never provoke the rage of an already angered solider. Of course the black ninja 'bot was still worrying about it and didn't want to trouble Jazz with it. Now he had speak with the young Autobot leader and find out why, if and who.

Optimus still looked angered after hearing what Jazz had said, so now he had to quickly calm him.

'I-I'm sorry...it's just that someone assumed that ya might of-...'

'WELL THEY ASSUMED WRONG!'

The poor young mech was angered that someone would just assume that he liked Jazz! Why would they? He hated both him and Prowl! Whoever it was that just decided to "assume" that he liked that fragging white ninja 'bot should get their optics re-checked! Primus, why was this happening to him? First Ultra Magnus reveled that he was attracted to him and now someone assumed that he was attracted to that accursed ninja 'bot!

Jazz seemed to be picking that up now and now he was also curious as to why Optimus got angry when he saw Prowl and himself together. Sure he knew the other 'bots got annoyed when they saw them together, acting like a lovely dovey couple, kissing and hugging like there was no tomorrow, but Optimus was getting angry at the very idea of seeing them together. Also Optimus's rage was only causing his own rage to grow even more.

'Well then why do ya get angry when ya see me and Prowl together? Someone just assumed you were jealous! The way you shouted at Prowl yesterday gave everyone the wrong idea so don't blame us for that! Did we do something to upset ya? What did we do to ya?'

Optimus opened his mouth but nothing came out. Even though he really wanted to tell Jazz right there and then what he and Prowl had done to cause him so much pain and suffering he knew he couldn't. He didn't want Jazz to know what had happened to him in fear he would start telling the other Autobots. They would all look at him in anger, disgust and horror. His team mates would demand that he'd leave. Sentinel would find a new excuse to further ruin his reputation. Ultra Magnus would finally find out why he got rejected and drag him back to Cybertron to be thrown in the stockades.

He couldn't let them know, no matter what.

Turning his back on Jazz he folded his arms and uttered a low snarl.

'You got your answer, I'm not attracted to you, now please leave!'

Jazz almost snarled himself, but quickly calmed down. He had come here to get answers and to try and Optimus calm down. So far he was messing up but now he had to calm Optimus down for Ultra Magnus's sake.

'I'm not done yet. For Ultra Magnus's sake I need to know...why...why did ya...reject him?'

Optimus flinched slightly as the fresh memory of Ultra Magnus confessing to him reminded him of past events. In truth...he didn't know how to explain what had happened last night on the rooftop with the Autobot Commander. He was confused, scared, shocked, afraid...he got lost in whirlpool of emotions and something unlike him took over. He could have just pushed him away and turned him down gently...but he couldn't even see himself doing that. Truth is, even now, he was still horribly confused with the whole thing. His emotions were in a mess and he couldn't find a solution on what to do.

'Look...I...I'm just...I don't even...'

'Ya like him, right? Ya enjoy spending time with him?' asked Jazz, trying to sound calm and a little persuasive.

The young Autobot pondered about this for a moment. It was true that he enjoyed being around Ultra Magnus...but...back then he saw him as a friend. Someone to talk to, someone to be with...he...never once hated being around him.

'I...I...'

'Ya had fun, ya smiled around him,' cooed Jazz, stepping forward slightly.

'Ya had this bright look on your face when he called ya by name. Ya were like another 'bot around him! Didn't ya enjoy his company? Didn't ya love bein' around him?'

Optimus looked away as he pondered about these thoughts. His memories began to wander back to when he was sitting in Ultra Magnus's office, talking to him and sharing small jokes to pass the time. Assisting him with minor repairs to the ship, spending Energon breaks together...it was those moments that helped eased the pain. He sat with him after he had cried, he told him his dreams could still be achieved. It made him forget what he had been through. It made him feel better about himself. The young Autobot had believed he found someone who would be able to stand by him in his time of need.

However now that he thought about it...all that time...Ultra Magnus had been interested in him. He had looked at him whilst thinking about him as a lover. When they sat down to talk and drink Energon, he had been listening to his voice and loved it. When he patted him on the back, held his hand or even touched him by accident he had touched him whilst thinking about him as a lover. The Magnus had looked, touched and spoke to him whilst thinking about him like that...like...a mech he wanted to be with...like a mech he was...in love with. A mech he wanted to hold...to kiss...to...interface with.

But...

He couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle being in the arms of another mech or even kiss him. It scared him, made him feel insecure and afraid. He could not feel any love or affection and the very idea of interfacing with another mech...scared him. Even if it was with another mech he would not be able to forget the pain from that terrible night. Yes, Ultra Magnus was attractive, kind and dependable and, maybe, one day, he could fall for him if he tried...but he just couldn't handle it...and it would only cause him and the Autobot Commander more pain in the end.

Also the Magnus didn't deserve to have such a failure for a mate. If he found out about that he had gotten raped by a Decepticon and carrying his Sparkling, it would break his Spark even more, the pain would become more unbearable for him. The poor Magnus would feel sick with himself, hate himself and would fill up with so much grief that he would burst with depression and drown in his terrible sorrow.

He could only hope that he would just forget about him and move on.

'I...I can't be with him. H-he deserves to be with someone else other than me.'

'He doesn't WANT to be with anyone else! He doesn't care about your record or your rank! He loves ya for who ya are! He's loved ya for so long I couldn't believe he never made a move on ya til' now!'

'I can't be with him!'

Jazz made a low snarl of frustration as Optimus continued to deny what he wanted. Optimus was clearly in denial here, he knew that he liked being around the Magnus, despite the sudden realization that he now loved him. The way he was trembling, his optics shivering and his lips quivering him. He could see that he was lying, he could see that what he was saying was false, he could tell that what Optimus was saying was false...but why...why was he denying this? What was he hiding?

'Why? Why can't ya be with him? He doesn't care what the citizens of Cybertron will think of him! He'll protect ya, he'll care for ya, he'll-...'

Optimus suddenly turned and glared down at Jazz.

'You came here for answers and I gave them! I...I can't be with the Magnus...he deserves someone better! Now please leave!'

Oh no...Jazz wasn't gonna give up that easily. He could see that the young mech was in denial here, he could see that he liked the Magnus but he was refusing to accept it. It was almost like someone had handed him a piece of the AllSpark fragment as a gift but he was refusing to take it. Something was holding him back, something was keeping him from accepting the love from the Autobot Commander. What was it? What was he hiding in the depths of his Spark? What was it that he did not want others to know? The fact that he was a lowly repair 'bot? That he was afraid that his own reputation would tarnish Ultra Magnus's own? That he was afraid of going into a committed relationship with such an important mech? What was he afraid of? What was he hiding?

'Ya can't do this to him! He loves you Optimus! He loves ya so much, he'd give up his Hammer for ya! Just...please...tell me what's wrong! Tell me why ya can't be with him! Are ya scared? Worried? Please I must know!'

Why? Why did he want to know? Couldn't he just give up and leave? There was no hope for him or Ultra Magnus.

'Just leave,' he asked, in a low yet demanding tone.

'No! I want to know Optimus Prime! Why? What is holding ya back?'

'I said leave!'

'Why are ya being like this? I mean...he loves ya and-...'

'STOP! Just stop!' bellowed Optimus, turning round and walking over to the door, opening it and gesturing Jazz to leave.

'I do not love him! There! Happy? Now leave! Next time you visit me it better be OFFICIAL Elite Guard business! I don't want to be part of one of your stupid little love games! Now unless you have a good reason to be here I suggest you leave!'

The room was filled with a very stern silence. An almost unbearable silence that could not shatter. Jazz just stood there with a defeated look upon his face. He looked at Optimus as he stood there, his face demanding him to get out of his sight and go. To take his business elsewhere and play his little games with someone else. He had clearly given up on the matter and no longer wanted anything to do with the Magnus unless it was official business. It was almost like he didn't give a dam about what the poor elder mech was going through. As if his feelings did not matter, as if they were nothing more but fictional devices that no one gave two clicks about. A golden opportunity had just been handed to him and he was just throwing it out the door like a used Energon cube.

Why was he doing this? Why was he just throwing this away? Like it didn't matter? Why didn't he want to be with a mech he so clearly liked and cherished? He enjoyed his company, he loved being around him, but here he was not wanting it, as if he refused to accept what was so obviously true! Seeing the pair of them together, Jazz swore he saw a loving aura around them and yet Optimus was denying its existence. Didn't he care for Ultra Magnus at all? Wasn't he even considering his feelings at all? Was this all just some sort of joke to him? Was this...nothing to him?

Jazz could not contain his anger. He had worked hard to get this mech to fall for Ultra Magnus and here he was, showing no gratitude or even any remorse for what the poor Autobot Commander was doing through in this woeful time. He just thought that he was playing some stupid game with him and didn't even care what was going through both his and the Magnus's mind. Maybe Prowl was right. Maybe Optimus was nothing more than a rude, ungrateful coward!

'Ya know what? Fine...have it your fraggin' way!' he snapped, stomping towards the exit.

'I don't know what the frag he saw in ya, 'cause I sure can't see it! All I see is a selfish, ungrateful coward! I truly believed that ,maybe ya were a decent 'bot for him, that ya truly were the one 'bot for him...but ooooh no...I now see what ya really are! I see that ya are some little immature mech who's too afraid to accept the truth! A Mech who doesn't care for anyone but himself! He's hurtin' right now, but ya don't care, do ya? Ya just don't care about him at all! Well once he gets over this, which I doubt he will, I hope he finds someone else who won't treat him like some...some...some nobody!'

And with that Jazz left, snatching the door from Optimus's grip and slamming it behind him, leaving Optimus all alone in his room.

The ninja 'bot couldn't take it any longer. It was now painfully clear that Optimus did not care at all about Ultra Magnus. The young mech was so wrapped up in his worries and problems that he was ignoring the pain he had caused to the Autobot Commander. He didn't care about anyone else but himself, and he was a fool to believe that he was the mech for the great Autobot Commander.

The room had turned into a unsettling silence after Jazz had left. For a while Optimus stood there, staring into nothingness, not knowing what to do. It must of been true. Ultra Magnus was in pain after being rejected from a mech that he apparently had liked for so long. He didn't know for how long but it must of been a while. The elder mech must of been looking forward to becoming his mate, so he could share his love with his, share his dreams with him and cherish him forever. He only wanted to be with the mech he adored but then he suddenly got rejected by the one mech he wanted to share those dreams with. He had hoped, dreamed and wished so hard that maybe one day the mech he loved would love him back. He would love him and be there for him for all eternity. But now...now he had lost him and was suffering...alone.

He knew how he felt.

He knew what it was like to have all your hopes and dreams crushed. To have someone come in and snatch away the very essence of your beliefs that maybe one day he would get the things he desired. That one day his wishes would come true and everything would be perfect. However everything had come tumbling down. Everything he had tried to accomplish had shattered in his hands and slipped through his fingers, turning to dust upon the ground he was unable to stand on. The dreams, hopes and wishes of Ultra Magnus had been destroyed, taken from him in such a cruel way and he was left ruined and lost in despair.

But this time...it was caused by him.

Optimus didn't care if anyone would walk in on him. He just fell to his knees and cried. Everything that Jazz had said was true...and it hurt.

Sentinel groaned as he staggered through the hallway to try and locate the washrooms in the pathetic excuse for a base Optimus had here. The blue mech's moans of discomfort were so loud that they were giving him a headache. His optics weren't focused and he was having a hard time trying to get his bearings right. His CPU was still in the process of rebooting and the extra Energon that was still flowing wildly within him was in the process of getting purged from his systems. It was there, he decided, that drinking both oil and Energon wasn't at good for his systems. Especially if he was drinking with a bunch of loud and unorganized group of lousy repair 'bots.

He couldn't remember all of the events from last night. He did remember watching Ultra Magnus go after Optimus before he agreed to play that strange organic game with the large idiot of a mech. Not long after Jazz and his lover 'bot sneaked out whilst everyone was distracted to either make out or watch what would unfold between Optimus and the Magnus. The music he could remember and it wasn't nice, the stupid commands the organic creature gave him he could remember faintly. He couldn't remember much after that. He had consumed to much oil and Energon that he got overcharged and passed out.

What really, really ticked him off was the fact that when he came back online he was lying on top of some crummy, rough and terribly uncomfortable conveyor belt, covered in what he hoped was plain Energon and his back struts were aching like there was no tomorrow. No one had bothered to take him back to his ship after he had passed out! They just left him there like some...some...peice of trash! Who did they think he was? He was next in line for the title of Magnus!

All he could think about now was finding those accursed repair 'bots and turn them all into spare parts...after he got cleaned up. He smelt like stale oil and used Energon and he didn't want to go back on the Elite Guard ship smelling like that. Last thing he needed was getting a boring lecture from Ultra Magnus on how a Sub-Commander should behave.

Speaking of Ultra Magnus, he wondered how he got on with Optimus last night? Did he confess? Did they embrace? Did they...argh...kiss? It wasn't like he had seen two mechs or two femmes kiss before, there were tons of couples like that back on Cybertron, but he was mainly into femmes. He didn't know why but it was their curves that got him excited and so graceful compared to mechs, who were mainly bulky and large. The real reason he didn't like to imagine those two together was because...well...Optimus was way yonger that Ultra Magnus. That and he had know Optimus for so long that it was rather weird for him to imagine him with another mech or femme...that and he hated him.

Anyway, he didn't really care. As soon as he and Ultra Magnus got lovely dovely on each other, become mates and return to Cybertron as a couple, Ultra Magnus would have to give up his title and hammer so he could spend time with his new mate and start a family. According to Jazz, that was what most Magnus's did once they got mated, which was why Sentinel was planning to stay single for a very, very long time. Besides, being a Magnus meant he had access to the exclusive pleasurebots, or "Escort 'bots" as the Council called them, to satisfy his needs. He was pretty sure that Ultra Magnus had been with a few of them but now he wanted to settle down, which was fine with him!

Everything seemed to be going to plan and pretty soon Sentinel would be the rightful owner of that grand hammer...as soon as he got cleaned up of course.

Walking as best he could, he tried to locate the washracks when he suddenly slammed into someone.

'Hey! What the fr-..watch where you're going you-...'

Upon stumbling back and after his optics finally focused correctly, he found that he stood before a rather stressed out Jazz. The white ninja 'bot seemed angry and frustrated, clearly not in a good mood but that never stopped Sentinel before.

'Oh...w-where the frag have you been? Why did you leave me on that...that thing?'

Jazz made a disgusted expression after his olfacatory sensors got a whiff of the drunken breath of his fellow Elite Guard.

'Geez SP, I wouldn't take ya anywhere with that smell!' he snapped.

Sentinel rolled his optics and tried to speed up his rebooting process.

'Well thanks for nothing! Anyways...are those two lovesick 'bots done making out?'

Jazz let out a deep huff that was full of frustration.

'No.'

'Oh...they're still at it?'

'No you idi-...ARGH...they aren't even...Primus why am I even talkin' to ya?'

The white ninja 'bot let out a sigh.

'Optimus...rejected him.'

Now Sentinel was fully online and he looked down at Jazz with wide open optics.

'What?'

'Ya heard me! Optimus turned him down!'

Sentinel almost fell back onto the wall behind him from this sudden turn of events. Most 'bots he knew would never turn anything down from the Magnus and he knew that Optimus would never turn anything down from him...but Optimus refused to accept his love? Why? Jazz said that the pair of them were clearly in love with each other.

'W-why? I thought...you said they were-...'

'Well I was wrong!' snapped Jazz, cutting him off.

'He doesn't love him nor does he care.'

As Jazz stood there with a defeated look on his face, Sentinel was slowly starting to come back full operational and now able to understand what this meant. If Optimus had turned down the lovesick Ultra Magnus, it meant that the current Magnus was not only Spark-broken but this meant it might take him forever to get over it and by the time he decides to find another mate it would be too late for him to take over his position! This...this wasn't part of the plan!

'You said that they were going to fall in love! You promised me I would become Magnus quicker!'

Jazz suddenly glared up at the Sub-Commander.

'I never promised anything, Sentinel!'

'You told me they were gonna fall in love, become mates and Ultra Magnus would give up his Hammer to me! What the frag did you do?'

'I didn't do anything!' snapped Jazz.

'Then what went wrong?'

For a moment Jazz was silent. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He was unable to answer that question and he looked away, unsure of what to say. Sentinel, however, had plenty to say. He was furious that the white ninja 'bot was unable to get a pair of mechs to fall for each other when he boasted about his past experiences so frequently.

'You said you made hundreds of couples fall in love! So what happened with this one? I thought you were the love master or whatever! Why the frag did that idiot turn him down? What did you do wrong?'

The white 'bot sighed and looked down.

'I...I honestly don't know. I don't know what went wrong. I don't know what happened.'

The hallway got silent again and Sentinel found that he was out of questions to ask. He wasn't expecting this. Then again, not too long ago, he never expected that his Commander was in love with a lame Autobot such as Optimus. Of course, the only thing that he cared about the whole thing was the fact that once those two got hooked up he would become the Magnus sooner rather than later. However something had happened. Something had ruined the whole thing and he didn't know what.

'Well...what's the next plan then?'

Jazz suddenly snorted and looked up at him.

'What next plan?'

Sentinel blinked.

'The plan to get those two together!' he bellowed.

Jazz shook his head and turned to walk away.

'There is no next plan SP. It's over.'

Dumbfounded, Sentinel watched as Jazz walked away.

'What do you mean it's over? You said that they would get together! You said I would become the Magnus once those two got hooked up! Jazz! Jazz! Get back here right now! I'm not finished with you yet!'

Jazz ignored him and walked off, probably heading off to spend some zen time with his beloved Prowl or something and leaving Sentinel standing there like some idiot. Sentinel let out a deep growl of drunken frustration and had a sudden urge to punch the wall. This wasn't part of the fragging plan! This wasn't part of Jazz's accursed plan! That dam ninja 'bot must of screwed up or something and now his plans to become the Magnus quicker was ruined! That dam Jazz! That dam Optimus! Why the frag did he turn down Ultra Magnus?

Everything was ruined! Ruined! The damn plan was ruined and it was all because Optimus refused to become Ultra Magnus's mate! Frag it, that dam mech WAS a coward! A big fragging coward and this proved it! Why didn't he just go along with it? He would of been set up for life, despite being trapped in an unbreakable relasionship with a mech who was a few generations older than him. Primus, why did Optimus refuse? Was he scared? Wasn't he attracted to the Magnus? Dammit, why didn't he just go along with it? Many rich Bondmates, like the Tower 'bots, would lead double lives and hardly spend any time with their mates! That idiot! He was always screwing up his life!

Sentinel clucthed his fists and gritted his denta's so hard they almost broke. This was why he hated relasionships within the Elita Guard, they messed everything up including his chances of becoming the next Magnus. All because Optimus was a coward and too scared to become the mate of a Magnus. Why the frag didn't he want to be his mate? Didn't he like the idea or something?

Although...

He did remember something from a long time ago. A very long time ago, back when he didn't think of Optimus as a coward and was his friend. When the femme he cared for was still functioning. Back then he and his beloved Elita-1 used to sneak out of the Autoboot Camp to go on little dates and have some fun. Optimus agreed to cover for them, telling anyone who asked for their location, that they were training and did not want to be disturbed. He did miss those days but he had told himself that looking back was for the weak.

When he and Elita-1 went out on their dates, she would always talk about their future. The pretty yellow femme wanted to one day become someone's mate and she was hoping that, one day, Sentinel would ask her. Sentinel thought she was just playing around and told her to knock it off, but then she would pout and say,

'Well Optimus wants what I want too, you know! We both want a Bondmate to grow old with.'

She later reveled that Optimus had a romantic dream, a dream to one day settle down with a mech or femme he loved and become bondmates, have some Sparklings and spend the rest of his days with the 'bot he loved. Sentinel found it hilarious but Elita-1 begged him to keep it a secret for Optimus didn't want the whole Adcademy to know that he was looking for someone. At the time Sentinel realized that if he did go around and told everyone about his friend's little fantasy, the whole base would go after the poor young mech. Although he didn't want to admit it, he knew that Optimus was pretty attractive back then...and he still was.

Now that he recalled this little event from the past he found it strange that Optimus wouldn't jump at the chance to become the Magnus's mate, since it was what he wished for. He wanted to have a mate, it had only been a, what, a thousand stellar cycles since Elita-1 reveled that information to him. He was pretty sure Optimus would still be hanging onto that dream since it was the only one he was likely to achieve. Was he afraid? Afraid of what? Ultra Magnus was a good mech, stern and strict, but a decent mech, the perfect 'bot Optimus would want for a mate. Plus Jazz had told him that Optimus had enjoyed his company. So what held him back?

The only reason he could think of was the fact that maybe...Optimus was too afraid of the Magnus. Too afraid to be with him as a mate. Unable to see him as a possible lover. That, in Optimus's optics, he only saw the Commander of the Autobot forces and not a mech he wanted to be with. That must of been it! That dam good for nothing Autobot was unable to veiw him as a possible mate because he couldn't see him as one! Dam! Why the frag did Optimus have to ruin everything! Groaning in frustration, he really did hit the wall and managed to form a small crack within the soft organic substance.

However...an idea came to him.

Slowly raising his head, an idea formed within his CPU. An idea that began to take over until he saw that it was the only possible and succesful route to take! An idea to get Optimus with the Magnus, only this time it would work! An idea that Jazz would never think of! Yes! This would work! This plan would so work and his goal to become the next Magnus quicker would be achieved! Ha, why didn't he think of this before?

Turning round, fully awakened and fit again, he headed back to his ship and back to his quarters. Shutting the door behind him, he locked it tight so no one would walk in on him. Quickly moving to his personal locker, he punched in the security code and opened it, pushing aside his personal discs and belongings. He rumaged around until he found what he was looking for and pulled it out, smirking as he saw that he had plenty left. This...this was going to make Optimus become the Magnus's mate, no matter what!

What the devious Sub-Commander had in his hands was a very powerful chemical, created by the infamous Wheeljack, known as the "Spark Desires" drug. It was perfectly legal for it acted, for the Cybertronian race only, as a strong aphrodisiac to help increase the sexual arousal of anyone who consumed it. Many 'bots he knew had tried it and he himself tried it and, wow, those were some pretty wild nights he had. The drug was rather special for it tricked the Cybertronian body into thinking it was in it's "heat" mode, causing his interfacing equiment to produce a heavy amount of transfluid and fill his CPU with erotic thoughts and urges. He had expirimented with it once on a scared little virgin, who was in to him, and after she had it, she went wild and rocked his whole night.

However this one in his hands was the very, very strong one. Recently brewed up by Wheeljack, who tested it on himself and someone else he refused to name. It went on the shelves before he left Cybertron to go search for Optimus, his crew and the AllSpark, and he had wanted to try it out on a member of his crew. He was dissapointed, though, that when he got on the ship he found that there were no femmes on board. So he locked it up and planned to use it when he returned home, so he never got the chance to read the instructions on the side of the bottle.

Flipping the bottle over he carefully read what was printed.

'Spark Desires EX! Turn you and your partner/mate into an interfacing maniac with this elixir of desire and lust! Turns the timid untouched virgin into a pleasure addicted pleasurebot within a few clicks! Created and tested by the second head of the Cybertronian Science and Research Department, Wheeljack! Consume three drops MAX with a mild Energon! More than three drops is not advised! Caution! Not advised for mechs or femmes who have suffered interfacing trauma!'

Sentinel smirked, gripping the bottle in his hand. He assumed that Optimus was still an untouched mech. He knew that he wouldn't be attracted to any member of his current crew and that he was the type who would save himself for his future mate. He was probably a timid untoched virgin waiting to become a pleasure addicated pleasurebot. Well with this little chemical he was going to become one alright. All he had to do was place three drops of the powerful aphrodisiac into Optimus's Energon, send him to Ultra Magnus's office with some paperwork and by then the Spark Desires EX would kick in the moment he reached his office! Those two would be fragging their CPU's out till dawn!

Oh yes, this plan would most definitely work. Much better than Jazz's plan. By this planet's afternoon, Optimus would be in the arms of the Magnus and after the whole interfacing he would then agree to become Ultra Magnus's mate. Sentinel could not help but chuckle as he got up to carry out his plan. This was going to work out so well. It wasn't as if he was going to hurt Optimus...he was just going to give him a little push.