Chapter Nine
[BEFORE]
By the time she gets home, the photos are laid out on the kitchen table for all to see. The girls aren't there; Cassie is staying at Lewis and Tess' and Nora has a sleepover, and for that, Kate is grateful. Never, in a million years, does she ever want her children to see them.
You can't see his face in the photos – clearly he wasn't the object of their interest. Or maybe they'd deliberately left them out. Maybe they'd thought it would cause more conflict. Who knows? All Kate knew was that there were three A4 photos of her, one of her kissing him as they backed into a taxi. One in the elevator on the way up to the room. One of her pressed up against the hotel room door, his lips on her neck. Each one was taken with his back to the camera, but there was no mistaking that it was her.
She picks the pictures up, her bag falling forgotten to the floor with a dull flump as all focus is on those. The only evidence of a night that... fuck. The night that shouldn't have happened.
"They came today." Mike's voice murmurs flatly from the shadow, almost as flatly as Cassie's always is. Kate jumps, hot tears springing to her eyes. Tears of humiliation and anger and annoyance and guilt.
He said...
I had a crush on you in high school.
(And her mind had flashed DANGER DANGER but what did it matter? And she'd leant closer to him, so close that she could smell the alcohol on his breath, the sweat on his skin. And she'd smiled.)
And she said...
I always thought you were a jerk.
She's going to throw up. Her head is spinning, the whole world is spinning, like the horrible teacup ride at the park that Cassie loves and always gave Kate a headache. Spinning, blurring. Her whole life is slipping away, out of her grasp.
She said...
I'm married. I'm married.
(Again and again as his hands traced up and down her spine, and she ran her fingers through his hair)
So am I. It's okay. Just once. They'll never know. Electric. We're electric.
She begins tearing the photos into confetti pieces as though it will make a difference, as though by destroying them now, she can erase the memory of them too, erase the memory of that night, his touch from her skin. Mike leans forward and snatches the last photo, the one against the door with her legs wrapped around his waist, before Kate can take shred that. "Where is this?" He jabs the photo, so hard that his nail scratches an impression into the back of his head. "When?"
"It was just once, Mike." She whispers. "Please-"
"I didn't ask that." He spits, taking a step closer. Kate throws out a hand, trying to take the photo. She wants it to burn, to disintegrate. She wants it gone, away from her husband and her house and her life, but Mike jerks his hand backwards, so that her own closes over thin air. "Where is this?"
"Some hotel." Kate whispers. "I don't know the name."
"Did you screw him in our bed?"
"No!" Kate cries, clutching at the table for support. "It was just one night. I got drunk and... please, Mike, I'm sorry. It was just once."
"When?" He demands. "When did this happen?"
"Last month. After the Naval Gala. I-"
"So he's Navy then?" Mike snarls and she flinches at the anger in his voice. "Who the fuck is he?"
"Just one night." Kate murmurs, running a hand through her hair. "It was just…"
"It's not just anything when you fucked someone else!" He bellows, and Kate takes a step back. He flings the photo at her and it lands face up in between them, so that they can both see the way that Kate's head tipped back, his fingers on her thighs.
"Mike, please."
"Come on now. Where's the excuse? The explanation? The justification? Princess Perfect always has the answer. Don't you remember?" He takes a step closer to her and Kate takes one backwards, her back hitting the wall.
"Stop." She begs. "Mike, I'm sorry." She's scared, backed up against the wall while he advances closer still to her. "Mike, you're scaring me."
He stops, his face dark like a thundercloud. "You think I'm going to hit you, Kate?" He whispers. "You really think I could do that to you?"
"Mike-"
"I came home early from work full of some ridiculous notion of taking you out to dinner while the girls are out. Of having a night to ourselves. And I come home to this. My whole life is falling apart. My family. And you're scared?" He shakes his head. "I can't even look at you." He hisses. "You cheat. And I'm the bad guy." Several seconds later the front door slams, and Kate sinks to the floor and sobs.
[]
No. Kate tries to say as she watches Jessica disappear. No. No. But she can't make the sounds, can't speak at all. All she can do is cough and splutter and retch as she fights to stand up, fights to get up. She can't feel her legs. She can't move her hands. She can't even see properly. Her whole body is numb, swaying. She feels seasick. Drunk. One foot touches the ground and crumples, and she looks down to see thick bandages.
"Ma'am." Someone runs over to her, someone she doesn't recognise. The same someone who just pulled a sheet over Jess' head. "Ma'am, you need to rest."
Jess. She tries to croak, but nothing comes out. She looks desperately to the sheet, eyes wide and horrified, and the man touches her shoulder. "Ma'am, we tried everything we could. But she… she was too badly injured. Her airways are too badly scorched all the way to her lungs, and she's got burns to approximately 80% of her body."
Mother. Kate thinks. She was a mother.
She looks around, tears leaking from her eyes. Her face feels heavy, lopsided. She wonders whether there are bandages on her face too.
"Ma'am?" The man hovers, and Kate guesses that he's unsure whether or not to leave her. Her crew. She needs her crew. After a moment he shrugs and lifts her back onto the bed. "Rest."
Where… but again, she can't talk. All that comes out is a fresh bout of horrible hacking coughs until she's wheezing for breath.
"Ma'am, rest. You're in pain and-" Kate shakes her head. Pain is the one thing that she has none of at the moment… at least, not physical pain. The sailor frowns. "Your body's running on adrenaline. Once that wears off…"
Who else? She mouths desperately, one hand catching his arm. Who else is dead?
He gives a sad smile and steps away from her. "I don't know, Ma'am." He whispers, taking a step backwards. "Rest."
[AFTER]
Tess wonders whether there's any truth to Cassie's claims. She knows her daughter-in-law (marriage be damned - that girl is family) well enough to know that she would never, ever put anything above the safety of her crew. But something terrible had happened. It was all over the news, and apparently it was Kate's fault.
And Cassandra kept going on about that... Commander Brixton, that he was the one to blame, until Tess has no idea what the ideal outcome would be. Because if he is guilty, and Cassie exposes him... she would be at risk too. And if anything was to happen to Cassie, Tess knows that she would die.
The front door closes and Tess jumps.
"Hello?" Tess' head pokes out from the kitchen in alarm. "Lewis? Is that you?"
"It's Cass." Cassandra calls, and Tess feels a rush of relief. She isn't sure what she had been expecting; that Brixton would be here to threaten her? Cassie drops her bag on the kitchen table. "I need somewhere to work. And Mike won't let me at home. Can I sit? Thanks." She collapses into the chair and begins pulling things from her bag – sheets of paper, pens and a the laptop computer covered in stickers.
"Cassie…" Tess edges into the room. "I wasn't… I mean… shouldn't you be at school?"
"I got expelled." Cassie murmurs, not looking up from her computer.
"Expelled?" Tess repeats. "Cass-" She isn't sure what to do. Call Mike? Call the school? Lewis? Kate. Kate would know what to do. But she was... somewhere. Somewhere far away from all of this.
"I need to clear Mum's name, okay?" Cassie explains, her fingers tapping away at the keys on her computer, typing in a password that looks to be at least 20 letters.
"Cassandra, if Mike said no…"
"Exactly." Cassie twists around. "Mike said no. So Dad would have said yes. And you're Dad's parent so…" She frowns at the look on her grandmother's face. "I thought you'd have been proud. I'm looking out for my Mum-"
Cassie opens up her emails, scanning through the spam and junk-mail and focusing on an email that had come in the last half-hour. Her eyes flick to the signature. Logan Royal.
"Sweetie, I love having you here but…" Tess' words are cut off by a knocking at the door. "Hold on."
"I'll be here." Cassie murmurs flatly, not looking up as she scans the email.
Still searching. Brixton's hiding something but I'm not sure what. All the maintenance logs from Hammersley are gone.
And then Tess returns. "Um… Cassie?" She begins, clearing her throat.
"Yes." She mumbles, eyes still fixed on the screen.
Maintenance logs. Maintenance logs.
"Look up." Tess commands and a moment later Cassie pushes herself to her feet angrily.
"What are you doing here?" She demands angrily.
Nora ducks her head, her lopsided plaits falling over her shoulders. "I want to help." She mumbles, tugging on the collar of her school dress. "I want to help Mum."
"Well, you can't." Cassie hisses, anger coursing through her veins. She'd just walked her to school, watched her run up the front drive to find her giggling school friends. "Go back to school." She demands.
"No." Nora stamps her foot. "If you can help her, so can I."
"Oh yeah?" Cassie challenges, gesturing to all the paper on the table. "How can you help?"
"I…" Nora stutters, but then swallows hard, drawing herself up to full height. "I… I can bribe people."
"Bribe?"
"You heard me. Sometimes you have to give money to people to get them to give you answers. And you have no money. But I do. I have…" She touches her fingers. "… one hundred and twelve dollars and twenty five cents in my piggy-bank. Plus two-hundred and forty five dollars and thirteen cents in my bank account." Nora takes a step closer. "I watched James Bond with Dad. I know about how to get people to talk."
Cassie splutters at the look of determination on Nora's face. "You're too young."
"She's my mum too." Nora cries. "I love her just as much as you. And I don't want her to go to jail." Nora drags the chair out next to Cassie and clambers on top. "So what do we do now?"
"The girls are up to something." Mike murmurs, his eyes fixed on the stairs.
"What?" Maxine mutters distractedly, looking up from her paperwork. "I'm trying to help you sort out Kate's insurance-"
"They're in Cassie's room. Together. For over an hour now without any screaming."
"So the girls are getting along." Maxine shrugs. Apparently the social interactions of Cassie and Nora were of no interest to her. "They're sisters, Mike."
"No." Mike shakes his head. "They're half-sisters, as they both remind me all the time." And it was true. From the moment Nora was born, Cassie had been overprotective of her mother.
"So… what?" Maxine sighs and drops the pen to the table and rubs the sore spot in her head. "You want to go up there?"
"No. I…" He sighs. He has no idea what to say to them anymore. "Sorry. You were saying about insurance?"
"It's Brixton." Cassie drags the photo she'd printed off the RAN website to the top of the papers and taps the bridge of his nose.
"He gave me a lollipop once… when I went to Mum's work." Nora recalls happily as she too looks at the photo.
"He's the enemy." Cassie sighs. "Okay, Nora? He's the bad guy. He's… Raoul Silva."
"Who?"
"Skyfall. You said you watched Bond with…" Cassie exhales and holds up her hands. "You know what? Don't worry. We'll figure it out later." Cassie pores over the papers scattered in front of her.
"So what?" Nora mumbles, sliding onto her belly, elbows holding her chin up. "We bribe someone at NAVCOM?" She questions, tugging her piggy-bank closer to her.
"We don't need to bribe anyone." Cassie sighs. "Not if we're smart. We just… need to look at the evidence. Okay?"
"Okay." Nora nods her head, looking back down at the papers in front of her. "Cassie?" She frowns.
"What?" Cassie demands.
"Why didn't the sprinklers go off?" Nora mumbles, her gaze on the blueprints of an Armidale Class Patrol Boat. "I mean, they're supposed to, right? So why didn't they?"
Kate dreams of heat, of sticky, sweaty pain. She dreams of Aisha Tyler, with grease marks behind her ears and a grin on her face. She dreams of how she used to play cards, dealt fast like a pro– how she was the only one who could ever beat 2Dads at cards. She dreams of her fiancée waiting at home, the wedding that they'd been planning for years.
She dreams of Bird, drunk with exhaustion but more happy than ever, newborn baby Clara grasped securely in her arms and Ryan, standing next to her looking so proud.
She dreams of Mike. She dreams of his face after he saw the photos and she wakes screaming and flailing.
The man, 2Dads, is long gone, kicked out by the nurses after Kate's panicked flailing. He'd practically scurried out of the door anyway; it was clear he'd never seen her like that before. Stay, he silently urged the man. Stay. She needs someone.
And now she's all alone again, fighting the demons in her sleep, and Adam can't do a damn thing to fix it except to watch.
She jerks awake, sitting up in her bed coughing and wheezing, and for one wild moment he's sure she's having an asthma attack. Does she have asthma? Surely you can't be a naval captain with asthma.
Her coughing slows, her breathing growing more controlled, and before he can even let the relief flood through him she'd flicked the light on, blinding him.
"Are you okay?" He'd asked stupidly, as though there was anything that he could do to help her.
In shaking hands she scoops up the whiteboard and writes something in her sloped left-handed scribble.
Stop staring at me.