Joe's Note: Despite her not even appearing in this chapter, I had at least one scarily obsessed Star Wars fanboi review the previous version to comment about this. For the record, yes, I know that Zule Xiss is listed as a Falleen officially. Yes, I know that when confronted about their fuck up, the continuity chief at Lucasfilm staunchly defended that. I also know that Falleen are a reptilian species with clawed fingers, very distinct facial features, scaled skin, and they bleed green rather than red like Zule Xiss. And so for taking the 'we'll be illogical rather than admit we messed up' path out of their problem, Lucasfilm and Leland Chee can kiss my ass.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Ken, Thyatira, William, Wil, Invernos, Jack, Pat, Warren, Chris, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

"I've come to the conclusion that the light side and the dark side are but words, Cordelia. The Force is neither good nor evil, it simply is. Even the abilities we derive from our connection to it are inherently neutral in nature; the true difference lies in the people who use the Force. They are the ones who are good and evil… light and dark…"

"Chunky and creamy…"

"What?"

"Oh, sorry. Just another joke that's a lot less funny when you're not from my planet." Cordelia nodded as she watched the blue blade of her opponent whirl around her body in an arc, stopping the incoming slashes of one of her own blue blades and then the other. "But I totally agree. That's exactly what I've been saying all along. I mean, think about it. In my last life, I worked with a vampire with a soul and a half-demon who drank a lot. Which… probably doesn't mean a lot to you, but is totally relevant to this. Because it taught me that the world - or around here, the galaxy - is mostly made up of shades of grey. Not much pure black or pure white to be found. But whenever I bring up something like that during my training, whichever master I'm working with just pats me on the head and tells me that I don't properly understand 'the complexities of the true nature of the Force' yet. And then I get told to stay away from the younglings."

Chuckling, Barriss continued to twist her lightsaber around her body in tight, smooth arcs to deflect Cordelia's twin blades away each time the brunette lashed out at her. "I believe that our superiors' desire to keep you away from the impressionable youth of the Order has less to do with your belief in the Potentium, Cordelia, and more to do with the multiple ways you bend or break the Jedi Code on a daily basis." Cordelia blew a noisy raspberry at the Mirialan before thrusting both lightsabers forward, only to have them neatly shunted off to one side as Barriss twisted out of the way. "But as I prepare to leave my apprenticeship under Master Unduli behind for advanced training with the Medical Corps, what I've been learning only reinforces something I've been pondering for years. Mostly because almost all of the new abilities I'm learning can be used to heal in a way that borders on miraculous… or perverted to kill my enemies."

"The important thing is that you believe that. Because while you totally suck at caring for small fish and houseplants, I'm pretty sure that you don't have a single mean bone in your body, much less a killer one." Cordelia giggled as the Mirialan blushed before thrusting her lightsaber in the brunette's direction, slipping into one of the rare offensive bursts that were a part of Soresu. "As long as we're on the subject of deadliness, though, you're getting better and better with that lightsaber of yours. Your offense still needs a bit of work, but your defense is solid. In other words, a typical Soresu user. Which… I'm a bit conflicted about, to be honest. On one hand, I'm happy for you. Dangerous galaxy, you're now safer in it, et cetera, woo. On the other hand, I've been getting out of some really boring meetings with these sessions. If you're beyond my ability to help, I go back to being Yoda's grab and carry girl."

Barriss chuckled softly as she extinguished her lightsaber, clipping it to her belt before offering Cordelia a bow. "Thank you for both the practice and the critique. I spent all afternoon treating Zule Xiss…" She trailed off at Cordelia's look of confusion. "The Zeltron girl that you've never gotten along with? 'Harmony: Space Edition', I believe you've called her? She lost an arm on Ohma-D'un while dueling with Asajj Ventress. It made me realize that if I'm assigned solo missions that take me back to the front lines once my training is officially complete, battle droids and Separatist sympathizers aren't the only threat out there on the battlefield. And since you practice Makashi…"

"Who better to practice your saber-to-saber combat skills on? Makes sense to me." Deactivating her twin blue blades, Cordelia gave each a ninety degree spin and pressed them against her sides, the white plastoid hilts slipping into a series of matching clips that ran along each hip. There was a series of clicks as her weapons locked into place, and then… voila. Behold the amazing disappearing lightsabers! It was a brilliant idea if she did say so herself: she didn't want one heavy metal object banging against her thigh as she walked, much less two, and disguising them would help put people at ease around her because she wouldn't be as obviously armed as her fellow Jedi. Granted her current versions were quick, flash fabricated shells with training saber innards bouncing around inside them, but since the idea had proven sound? She would definitely be employing it for her real sabers. "Not that you need an excuse with me. Anything that gets me up off my butt and doing something is good in my book. Besides, I've been looking forward to seeing how you look in my present. Which you still haven't actually said you like, you know…"

One of Barriss's slim black eyebrows rose at that. "Yes, Cordelia, I've been wearing it all my waking hours every day since it's arrived because I think it's repulsive and I hate it."

Cordelia countered by raising an eyebrow of her own. "Barriss? It was delivered directly to your quarters. This is the first time I've seen you since you took said delivery. Up until I saw the neck of the bodysuit in your message earlier, I didn't even know that you'd unpacked it much less tried it on."

"Oh. Right. My apologies. It's… amazing." Blue eyes widening, Barriss bounced lightly on her toes in excitement before gesturing to her plastoid-clad body. "I've worn Jedi robes, my dresses, and all sorts of other outfits while on missions or working in the Medical Corps Infirmary. But this armor? I'm not going to lie, it took me a while to acclimate to wearing something so… different. But now that I am used to it? It's me. As an outfit. I can't find a better way to describe it: it feels like an extension of my body, and not just because it was made using incredibly thorough three-dimensional scans of me, either. I've got more than I'd find in a medkit on me at all times, which cuts down on how often I have to dash to a storage locker or use telekinesis to grab something from across the room. Your clones are definitely going to be better off than the clonetrooper medics, that's for sure. Although I noticed there's a lack of…" Trailing off, Barriss leaned to her right and gestured at Cordelia's rear.

Looking back over her shoulder, Cordelia tried to figure out what Barriss was trying to draw her attention. What did Cordelia's armor have that… oh! "It's a kama. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to italicize it when I write it out; the guys put some heavy emphasis on it. It's a Mandalorian thing. At first, the ARC troopers seemed a little offended but they seemed to warm up to me after Emokin made a rude comment about the questions I was asking them and I introduced my foot to his crotch. On a related note, I'm glad you guys aren't supposed to breed because I'd be a little worried for his future with all the damage I'm doing down there. But no, the Phase II-M armor doesn't include a kama because it would get in the way of the extra storage compartments in the cuisses. It'd also add back some of the weight that's been shaved off. My armor is pretty close to the trooper Phase II armor; the armor that you're testing for the clone nurses is something like seven and a half pounds lighter. Less protection, but it'll allow them to be more nimble when dashing across a battlefield to go treat someone."

Barriss made a soft humming noise before thrusting her hand out and summoning her blue cloak from where it hung on the wall. Slipping it on, she pulled up the hood as she made her way over to the door, pausing in front of it and gesturing for Cordelia to precede her out. The brunette rolled her eyes as she brushed past the Mirialan; the Jedi were too polite by half. It was cute when Hiskari did it because… well, they were dating. The rest of them, Cordelia kept expecting them to go 'm'lady' when she passed… perhaps tip a tan fedora or something. After all, they were the galaxy's nice guys. Slipping into place beside Cordelia as they walked down the hall, Barriss cleared her throat. "Since you've given me the opening, your impending 'spare selves'. How is that going?"

"It's going. I'm not monitoring things too closely because I've never been the micromanaging type, but they messaged me the other day to tell me that the first banks of Spaarti cylinders had officially been fired up along with their own cloning hardware. So… I'm technically no longer one of a kind. I feel like I should have some sort of existential crisis about that soon." Cordelia pondered that for a few seconds before shrugging. "Eh. I'll just take the ridiculous amount of credits they're throwing at me and buy myself a giant pile of pretty stuff. Because they can make all the copies they want, but there's still just one Queen C." Drifting to a stop, she tilted her head to the side as something occurred to her. "Does this mean I'm going to be a mom? I kinda hope it does. Because then technically I'll be a MILF, and probably the hottest MILF ever at that. No stretch marks, no cellulite… I'll have it going on even more than Stacy's mom." At Barriss's baffled look, Cordelia groaned in exasperation. "Earth reference. So is MILF. I'll explain things when you're older."

"You are a strange girl, Cordelia Chase."

"Aww, you say the sweetest things."

"Yoda! Hey, Master Yoda, sir!"

The voice made Yoda let out an uncharacteristic groan of unhappiness and look back over his shoulder. Hurrying along behind him was Cordelia Chase, clad in what was quickly becoming her new signature outfit of clone-inspired Kaminoan armor. Armor that was going to become a far more regular sight in a year or so, if they couldn't figure out how to convince the cloners to abort their newest experiment. "Padawan Chase. Learning undesirable things from you, the younglings are. Know how much wood a 'woodchuck' could 'chuck', I do not. Wish they'd stop asking me, I do."

Cordelia let out a brief snicker before composing herself. "Well, that's what you get for asking me to babysit them. I told you that I wasn't any good with kids. Figured that giving them some brainteasers would be a good way of making them shut up so I could get some peace and quiet. And you are the wisest of the Jedi… you should consider it a compliment that they're all seeking your advice as to the answer."

"Hmmph. You have a question, I sense." Yoda turned his hoverchair around to face her directly and raised it so she wouldn't have to look down at him. "Ask it, you may."

Nodding, Cordelia jerked a thumb back over her shoulder in the direction of a retreating figure in a blue cloak. "I've been working out with Barriss again and we've been talking about the stuff she does around the Temple. I was wondering if I could go hang out with her in the MC Infirmary. With the whole 'growing a hundred thousand nurses that look like me' thing the Kaminoans have going, I've been getting kinda curious about the idea of helping people like that. Who knows, I might finally find something useful to do with myself. Lord knows I don't have anything better to do with my time, especially with the Temple being emptier than MC Hammer's bank account these days."

For some reason - perhaps because he'd spent considerable amounts of time with her lately - Yoda found it difficult to believe that Cordelia was suddenly developing an altruistic streak. Unfortunately, the brunette had taken the High Council's last admonition to heart and put considerable effort into tightening her mental shields, to the point that even he had difficulty reading her now. As for her growing interest in Barriss Offee, since Yoda doubted that Cordelia was genuinely interested in helping her peers recover from injuries sustained on the battlefield? It was potentially troubling, but at the same time it presented him with a very valuable opportunity. While the High Council had yet to come to a final decision, it was possible that Barriss would never be allowed to train a padawan of her own due to her beliefs in the nature of the Force, forever stagnating her at the rank of knight. Once she achieved it, of course, although Master Unduli assured them that said time was fast approaching. At the same time, Barriss was a dependable enough Jedi that she could be counted on to moderate some of Cordelia's more outrageous behaviors… and two knight teams weren't unheard of, especially when neither had a padawan. "Provisionally approve your request, I do. Confine yourself to Padawan Offee's ward, you must. Speak to the other healers regularly, I shall. Remove you if necessary, I will."

Grinning widely, Cordelia bounced on her toes as she clapped her hands together in excitement. "Sweet! Thanks! I'll leave you alone now. For now. Maybe I'll go shopping tonight. Barriss evidently likes wearing her new armor to work, but she's also got nurse armor. Mine's not going to cut it, and I'm definitely not wearing any of my pretty jumpsuits to the Infirmary. I'll need work clothes. Maybe something in white… white is a nice, medic-y color in this universe too, right? Well even if it isn't, people should still be comforted by it after spending so much time on the battlefield with their clone minions. Hmm. Maybe some cute white dresses? They probably won't assign me any important work because I'm not really trained for it, so form can still be more important than function…" Still muttering to herself, she turned on her heel and wandered off toward one of the turbolifts, absently waving back over one shoulder at Yoda.

Yoda shivered for reasons he couldn't quite comprehend. What had he done?