A/N: YES! FINALLY! I've been wanting to get to this chapter for AGES! WOOHOO! And now that I'm here… I… didn't really know how to do this chapter…

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

…Okay, sorry about that. Since the last few chapters have been fairly serious, these next couple of chapters will be more light-hearted, a little break before things get dark again. Tortuga is an actual planet in the ME universe, it appeared in ME: Galaxy, but since I was unable to find very much information on it and I've never played Galaxy, I have taken a few liberties. Oh, and be forewarned, I've been playing the latest Saints Row game and I fear it has corrupted my brain. (Must… kill… aliens… with… Dubstep.)

10: TORTUGA HO!

Ashley popped out from behind cover to take a few potshots at the krogan terrorists. Ducking back behind the crate again, Ashley activated her com "ECHO team, we're pinned down! What's your ETA?"

"There in a couple minutes ma'am" Vega's voice boomed from the other end of the link. "Just hold out a little bit longer."

Ashley grit her teeth, popping out to lay down more suppressing fire. As she took cover again, she felt her omni-tool vibrate. Frowning, she looked down to see that she had an incoming call from the Citadel marked as urgent. Strange, John knows not to contact me on a mission unless it's an emergency. Slightly worried, she accepted the call "Hello?"

"Mom! David just tried to kill me!"

"That's a lie!"

"You threw a Warp at my head!"

"It wasn't a Warp it was a Throw! There's a difference!"

"Like hell it was!"

"ENOUGH!" Ashley snapped, raising her rifle to fire blindly around the crate "Lily, how many times have I told you not to call me on a mission unless it's important?"

"But this is important!"

"How many times?" Ashley repeated.

"…37"

"Right, now what exactly made you think that- Rodriguez, get that fucking barrier back up! –that this time would be any different?"

"He tried to kill me!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Ashley grit her teeth, she could already feel a headache coming on. Taking a deep breath, Ashley said more calmly "Why don't you tell your father?"

"He always sides with David!"

Ashley had to admit her daughter had a point; John did tend to side with David more whenever the siblings were fighting. Granted it didn't help that those fights were usually Lily's fault in the first place, but he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt. "Sweetheart, I'd love to help-" she paused to lob a grenade at the terrorists "-but I'm kind of a little busy right now!"

"Please?" Lily begged "I promise I'll never call you on a mission again."

Fat chance. Ashley thought, still she said "Alright. David, did you throw a Warp at your sister?"

"It was a Throw!"

"The lamp melted!"

"Stop it! David, answer the question."

"…Yes. But Lily punched me!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Ashley sighed "Lily, is that true?"

"He called space westerns stupid!"

"Cause they are!"

"I said STOP IT!" Ashley growled. She did not have time for this. "Lily, I don't care what he said, you do not hit your brother!"

"But Mom!"

"Ha!"

"And David?" Ashley said darkly "Stop provoking your sister, and under no circumstances are you allowed to use biotics on her. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good," Ashley looked up to see that Vega and the rest of ECHO team had arrived "Now I will be calling your father to tell him about this incident, and I will be letting Jack know about this outburst David. Understood?"

"Yes mom." Her kids said simultaneously.

"Good." Ashley nodded to Vega as he joined her behind the crate "I have to go, love you." With that she cut the connection.

"Trouble with the kids?" Vega chuckled.

"Don't even start."

…

Carn gazed out the viewport in the cockpit down at the planet below. Tortuga was an arid planet located deep in the Nemean Abyss, an area of space beyond the Terminus Systems that was about as far away from Citadel space as you could get and still (technically) be in the galaxy. The planet had one major city: a large starport, built atop the remains of an old batarian science facility, making it one of the few bastions of "civilization" in this dark pit of space. The planet was apparently a haven for the scum of the galaxy, and according to Lily, would be the perfect place to hide for a few weeks.

"I hate this place," Nyn grumbled as she flew the Hermes around towards the dark side of the planet "If Omega's a whore and Illium's a courtesan then Tortuga is their nutcase uncle who nobody wants to talk about."

"Who also happens to be the life of the party!" Lily added merrily from the Captain's chair.

Before Carn could ask what she meant, Erin entered the cockpit. Immediately, she rushed to the viewport, practically placing her face on the glass as she looked down at Tortuga. "Oh wow! I've never seen a planet from orbit before!" she looked at Carn "Isn't it amazing?!"

Carn took a quick glance at the planet below, subtly backing away "Um… sure…" then, when Erin turned to look back at Tortuga, Carn rushed out of the cockpit before she started asking questions. During the four days it had taken to travel to Tortuga, Erin had not left any of them alone for more than a few seconds, asking questions on everything from how the ship ran to what grass felt like. The worst part about all her questions was that it was impossible to resist answering them. As Lily had so aptly put it after Erin had pestered her for three hours on her pistols "She's like a puppy. A giant fucking puppy begging with those big fucking grey eyes and that fucking cute little face all needy and- FUCK!" It didn't help that whenever she turned to look at him, Carn got this strange feeling in his gut that made him want to get away from her as fast as he could.

As he entered the cargo bay, Carn froze as he heard someone giggling. Looking over the railing of the walkway, he saw Sara and Mars talking down on the first floor. Sara was sitting on one of the crates, swinging her legs under her while listening to Mars animatedly go on about his adventures with Lily, a bright smile on her face. Carn had to admit he was a little surprised. Sara had hardly said anything to him or the others since coming aboard, and had barely left Alec's side. To see her actually away from her brother and smiling was a nice change of pace.

"Looks like Mars has made another friend." Carn turned to see that Kal had come up from behind to join him.

Flashing the quarian a grin, Carn nodded "He seems to do that pretty easily."

"He's certainly a lot more friendly than any AI I've ever met." Kal added, snorting a moment later. "Dex took offence to that." He said to Carn's questioning look.

Carn turned back the way he'd come, deciding to give Sara and Mars a little privacy, Kal following him. Once they were alone in the hall Kal spoke up "So, how're you holding up?"

Carn cocked a brow-plate at the quarian as he leaned against the wall "Alright, I guess. Why?"

Kal shrugged "No reason, it's just that you were sort of kidnapped, held against your will for a week, and found out that you actually aren't the only human/turian hybrid in existence. In your shoes, I honestly would be having a heart attack right about now."

Carn thought for a moment before answering "Honestly? I don't really know how to feel about it. I mean, yeah it's kinda nice not to be the only one of my kind, but the past few years, I've never really thought about it. It just sort of… stopped mattering." He neglected to mention that he'd only grown past his discomfort with what he was thanks to a certain red-haired girl.

Kal nodded "Yeah, I guess I understand." He paused for a moment before saying "So… about Sara…"

Carn gave him a confused look "What about her?"

"It's just… you know… you're a male human/turian hybrid, she's a female human/turian hybrid. I thought you might…"

Carn gapped at Kal in disbelief then promptly burst out laughing "I think her brother would rip my fringe off if I even thought about making a move."

Kal chuckled "Yeah, probably. Still, she's kind of cute. And the girl certainly knows her way around a computer system."

Carn smirked "Sounds like you're the one planning on making a move."

Kal shook his head "No way. I like my face intact thank you very much." He hesitated before asking "Hey, do you know if Lily and Mort are… you know, together?"

Carn frowned "I don't think so. Why?"

Kal shrugged, folding his arms across his chest and leaning up against the wall across from Carn. "No reason, they just seem really flirty with one another is all."

Carn smirked "Lily is flirty with everybody. Mort just flirts back."

"Huh," Kal glanced away "She talked to me a few days ago."

"About what?"

Kal shrugged "She just wanted to say thanks for my help finding you. Said that they probably would never have located the station in that nebula if it wasn't for me and Dex." Kal shifted uncomfortably "She um, she also said that I was welcome to stick around, if I wanted to."

Carn's eyes widened "Really?"

Kal nodded "Yeah. She… she wasn't nearly as straightforward as that, but yeah, basically."

Carn whistled "Wow… so are you 'vas Hermes' now?"

Kal blinked at him, his eyes going wide beneath his faceplate "I… I don't really know. I'll admit, part of me has enjoyed working with her and the others these past few days. It's been an… interesting experience."

Carn snorted "That's one word for it."

Kal chuckled in agreement "Still, we can't run forever, and technically I'm still being held prisoner by you guys. The Spectres will catch up with us eventually. Perhaps it would be better if you guys dropped me off on an inhabited planet at the edge of Citadel space so that I can call my Auntie Raan to send someone to pick me up. I could tell the Spectres what happened to the processor and lead them back to the station." He glanced at Carn "Who knows, maybe we can rescue all the other hybrids still trapped there."

Carn froze. The thought of rescuing all the other hybrids still stuck on Vilvia's station had crossed his mind more than once the last few days. He got the feeling that he owed it to them, and to himself, to set them free. "Maybe…"

…

The Hermes landed in an area of Tortuga's spaceport that was apparently reserved for private use. "I bought this private hanger about a year ago." Lily had explained as she gathered everyone on the ship in the cargo bay "The spaceport's a pretty busy place, so stick close to me. Once we get out I have a pretty large pad in the nicer part of the city. We should be fine there. Just ignore the bloodstains."

Erin raised her hand "Um… why are there bloodstains?"

Lily smiled "Oh, the previous owner and I just had a little disagreement, that's all." She said, patting Clint, holstered to her side. Her grin broadened when she noticed how Erin's face paled "What? You didn't think I actually bought the apartment did you?"

"Maybe we should stay on the ship." Alec suggested, wrapping an arm protectively around Sara. "I mean, Sara and I will kind of stick out."

"Nonsense!" Lily said cheerfully. "You'll fit right in! Trust me!"

"I'd rather not…" Alec mumbled but Lily didn't seem to hear him, instead looking up to the ceiling.

"Yo Mars! You gonna be alright all alone here?"

The AI's avatar appeared next to Lily, fidgeting nervously "Um… yeah, sure Captain. You'll still come and visit me though right?" the Mars glanced at Sara when he said this "It's not like I exactly have another AI to talk to anymore."

"I could leave the link between you and Dex open if you want." Kal offered, earning him a bright smile from Mars.

"Really? That'd be great!"

"Maybe I should stay behind Captain." Nyn said "Someone has to make sure Mars doesn't blow up the ship."

Lily glared at her pilot "Nice try Nyn. You're coming along, that's final."

The asari sighed in resignation "Fucking perfect."

They disembarked from the ship, leaving the hanger. It was not lost on Lily that as they rode the elevator to the spaceport's main floor, Carn was sticking close to her. "Will you relax Carny?" she said, "Tortuga may be a wretched hive of scum and villainy but it's a fun wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Carn glanced at Lily "I seem to remember that your idea of 'fun' typically involves wanton mayhem and destruction. So forgive me if I'm a little nervous."

Lily rolled her eyes "You're never going to forgive me for the noodle incident are you?"

"Nope."

The elevator arrived at the main floor and as the doors opened, Lily stepped out and spread her arms wide, grinning from ear-to-ear. "It's good to be back."

…

Carn had officially decided that Tortuga was weird.

The main floor of the spaceport was a large dome packed with members of every known race (and a few unknown ones) milling about or trying to get to their flights on time. They practically had to bulldoze their way through the crowd, all the while having to listen to Lily go on and on about how amazing Tortuga was and what they were going to do first.

Then, as she was talking about her favorite sushi place in the city, something slithered past on a mass of wiggling tentacles. Carn's jaw dropped, "Lily…?"

"Yeah?"

"Was that a giant eyeball that just passed us?"

"Yep. So anyways, the sushi they sell there is to die for. Like seriously, I once shot a guy just 'cause he cut in front of me in line. Granted I only shot out his kneecaps, but still…"

That was only the first strange thing they came across. Not long after that, they saw a batarian talking to what looked like a large mass of green slime, then there was something that resembled a giant embryo suspended in a strange yellow liquid inside a sphere that rolled into Erin, scaring her half to death.

As they made their way through the spaceport, things only got stranger and stranger. There were more of those weird, tentacle-eye things that were engaging some salarians in a staring contest. Sara shrieked when something that looked like a cross between a giant spider and a moth brushed past her. They passed a gigantic praying mantis that was drooling all over a krogan's head, a group of turians dressed up like Roman legionnaires bickering with a party of asari dressed as samurai, a volus wearing a cowboy hat riding an elcor like a bull through the crowd, what could only be described as a walking fish, and Carn was pretty sure he saw Jabba the Hutt somewhere in there.

They had to walk around a salarian wearing a giant pink cat costume to leave through the doors of the spaceport. I see what Lily meant when she said that Alec, Sara, and I wouldn't stick out, Carn mused. This place couldn't be any more ridiculous! At that precise moment, a robotic dragon flew by overhead chased by a cat with a pastry for a body farting out rainbows. I take it back.

The absurdity didn't end there however. As they got outside, things only got more bizarre. "So there's this awesome arcade next door to the restaurant," Lily was saying as they moved to cross a street across from the spaceport "And they have some of the most amazing ga-WOAH THERE!"

A car had shot by at speeds that would be illegal on the Citadel just as they were about to cross the street. As they watched, the rogue vehicle suddenly swerved off the road and plowed into a nearby building. Carn, Kal, Alec, Erin, and Sara all watched in disbelief as it exploded on impact. Meanwhile Lily had kept on walking, "So anyways, they have the most amazing games there. You guys really should check it out…"

As they moved further and further into the city, they saw someone jumping out of an aircar, shrieking "Look at me Ma! I can fly!" before making a rather large mess on the pavement. Then there were a series of strange critters crawling past that looked like they belonged in Lovecraftian horror. Next there was a rather large sign over a shop depicting a Japanese school girl and a hanar doing something that Carn very much wished he could erase from his mind forever. (Erin actually stopped and stared at it for a minute, looking very confused until Nyn had the good sense to drag her away.) There was also a man getting beaten to death by what could only be described as a giant dildo bat, followed by a naked woman running around, screaming madly at the top of her lungs as she held a plastic baby over her head with a knife stabbed through it.

Thankfully, once they moved on into the more "safe" part of the city, things seemed to quiet down. Lily explained that, although the majority of the city was unstable, the spaceport and a few other areas were under the control of a few batarian crime lords that maintained order. As long as they didn't cause any trouble, Lily reassured Carn that they would be fine. There was an unspoken rule on Tortuga: mind your own business, or else.

"We'll be perfectly safe here." Lily said as she led their group across a large semi-empty plaza. "Trust me, nobody would dare-" she stopped suddenly.

"Lily?" Carn asked, looking at his cousin with confusion.

"Move."

Suddenly, Lily was shoving him to the side and drawing Clint. As he stumbled backwards, Carn caught a glimpse of something silver flipping through the air towards them before a shot rang out and the mysterious object fell to the ground a couple of yards away from them. Carn turned to see Lily holstering her pistol with a twirl, looking very smug.

"Nicely done." A smooth voice suddenly spoke up. Turning, Carn saw a human male in his late twenties to early thirties walking towards where the object Lily had shot out of the air. The man leaned down and picked the object, a coin Carn realized, up. The man inspected the coin for a second before smirking and nodding in approval. "I see your aim is as marvelous as ever love." He said, holding up the coin to show that it had a hole punched clear through its center.

Lily grinned, placing a hand on her hip. "Well I had an excellent teacher."

The man smiled, flashing pearly white teeth "He must have been pretty good."

Lily matched his smile "He is."

At that moment, Nyn coughed loudly, reminding Lily that there were other people there. "Oh, sorry. I forgot. Guys, this is Chase Matheson, a… friend." Lily smirked mischievously at the last word. "This is Carn, my cousin," she said, putting an arm around him as she did so "The quarian is Kal, Four-Eyes over there's name is Alec, that little girl hiding behind him is Sara, and the chick with the braid is Erin."

"Pleasure to meet ya." Chase said with a wink at Erin, causing her to turn redder than a cherry. Chase turned to the remaining two members of their entourage. "Nynnie! Mort! You two still hanging around with this loser?"

Lily punched him in the arm "This 'loser' happens to be the best shot in the whole damn galaxy."

Chase grinned at Lily, "Second best."

"You wish."

As Lily and Chase bantered back and forth, Carn examined the man with a detective's eye, just like his father had taught him. Chase was the textbook definition of handsome. He had short, well groomed light brown hair, his flawless skin had a healthy complexion, he was a bit taller than Carn, and from the way his dull green jacket and faded blue shirt hugged his body (an outfit far too similar to Lily's), Carn could see that Chase was packed with firm lean muscle. He seemed to have an almost perpetual smirk on his perfectly chiseled face and his chocolate brown eyes had the same mischievous glint as Lily's. Carn had initially placed his accent as British or Australian, but now he could only describe it as suave. The man practically radiated charm, and despite his best efforts to remain neutral, Carn found himself inexplicably liking him.

"Hey Nyn, would you mind showing them around." Lily said suddenly without looking away from her "friend". "Chase and I have some catching up to do." She didn't even wait for a response before starting to walk off with Matheson, casually asking "So, what've you been up to?"

"You know, same old, same old."

"I bet."

"You still got that lovely flat of yours?"

"You know it."

Nyn snorted once Lily and Chase were out of earshot. "Typical."

Carn turned to the asari "How do they know each other anyways?"

"You could say Chase was the Captain's mentor." Nyn explained. "She traveled with on his ship, the Simple Lady. He was the one who introduced her to Kronov."

"Can we trust him?" Alec asked. Carn noticed he instinctively pulled Sara closer to him.

"The Captain seems to." Mort said "And if she trusts him, then we can trust him."

"She trusted Kronov too," Kal said suddenly "and look where that got her."

"I wouldn't worry about it too much." Mort said "From what the Captain's told us, Kronov originally was going to hire Chase as the Hermes' Captain, but he was too attached to the Lady, so he passed it on to Lily."

Kal glanced in the direction Lily and Chase had headed, "I still don't like him."

"Look, what it comes down to is whether or not you trust the Captain." Mort said "And if you do, then you don't have to about Chase. The Captain isn't stupid; if she thinks he'll put us in danger, she'll shoot him in the balls without a second thought."

Kal seemed unconvinced, but Nyn didn't give him time to argue further. "Come on, I feel like an idiot just standing around in the middle of the plaza like this. Let's get moving."

…

Nyn was clearly not happy to be the ones giving them the tour. She was constantly mumbling under her breath about how she was going to beat Lily senseless the next time she saw her. Still, she showed them to the various establishments in their section of the city, making snide comments as they passed each one. None of the stores were anywhere near as nice as those on the Citadel, or even Illium, but they certainly weren't as bad as the stores they'd passed on their way to this section of the city.

Carn, however, found it hard to pay attention, his thoughts still focused on what Kal had said about rescuing the hybrids still trapped in Vilvia's clutches. He wondered how the rest of the galaxy would react to the discovery that there were dozens, possibly hundreds of other hybrids just like him out there. Would they be accepted? Or would they become pariahs? Would it be better for them if they stayed where they were? Carn immediately dismissed that thought as the memory of the "Harvesting" suddenly came to his mind. No, they would be better off out of Vilvia and Kronov's hands.

Eventually, he'd told Nyn he was tired and would prefer to just head to Lily's apartment. The asari had given him directions to the building as well as the code needed to get in. Carn had thanked her and left their group without another word, his mind still focused on the matter of the hybrids. Eventually, he'd managed to arrive at the right building and took an elevator up to the top floor where Nyn had said Lily's apartment was. He entered the code necessary to open the apartment and stepped inside, looking around.

To call it an "apartment" would have been unfair. "Penthouse" would have been a more accurate term. It was large, like really, really, large. And at one point had clearly been luxurious, although the splendor had eroded from years of disuse. There was probably an automated cleaning service that swept the apartment once a while because it was free of dust and cobwebs. The condition of the furniture varied; Carn saw holes in one of the leather sofas, a crack along a coffee table, and several mounted works of art were crooked. There was also a large old bloodstain on one wall that had evaded the cleaning service by a glass panel covering it with a small plaque on the bottom labeled: Le Mur Sanglante.

A part of Carn wondered exactly how Lily had come to acquire the penthouse, but he decided that it was probably better if he didn't know. "Lily?" he called out, seeing if his cousin was around. "Lily, are you here?"

He climbed a flight of steps up to the second floor, calling for Lily as he did. He faintly heard something coming from one of the bedrooms. "Lily?" he called, moving to open the door "Are you in he- MY EYES!"

Carn buried his palms into his retinas, as if he could somehow rub away the horrifying image that he knew would be burned in to his memory forever. He ran away from the room and the nightmarish scene within as fast as his legs could carry him. When the others came in a few minutes later, they found him curled up into a corner, rocking back and forth and muttering to himself "Find a happy place… find a happy place… find a happy place…" When they tried to get him to tell them what'd happened, he responded with "I've seen that which no sentient creature should ever see…" when prompted to elaborate, he'd only looked at them with wide eyes and said "Lily…naked."

…

Meanwhile, Lily looked back at the empty doorway, a little embarrassed that she'd just flashed her ass to her poor little cousin. "Oops." She said sheepishly, "I guess I forgot to lock the door…" Little guy is probably scarred for life. Lily looked down at Chase who lay beneath her, flashing an amused smile. Lily shrugged "Eh, I'm sure he's fine. Now where were we…"

A/N: I know, I know, I'm not well.

Sorry this took so long, a combination of writers block, addicting video games, and college, have kept me busy. (Note to all you guys who will be entering college next year: on the off chance that your professor is nice enough to say that all assignments are due at the end of the course, do them early anyways.) I'm really going to need to get my act together if I'm going to get this story finished.

I promise, the next chapter will actually move the plot forward. Not much, mind you, but still.

As always, please let me know what you thought. Was this chapter completely stupid? Not stupid enough? Let me know.