Chapter 10

"Spike!"

Spike groaned, he was sitting on the edge of the bed tying his boot laces when Angel's voice bounced down the hallway. "He's managed without me for a hundred years an' now he wants me to be his bloody nursemaid."

Getting up he left the bedroom and went straight to Angel's room, highly amused to see Angel struggling to untangle himself from the bed sheets.

"Spike!"

"What?" Spike propped himself up in the doorway.

Panting, Angel looked up relief crossing his face when he saw Spike standing there. Going to the chest of drawers he pulled out a sweater with shaking hands. "I had a dream."

"And?"

Angel swallowed and wiped a hand across his face. "I don't want to talk about it."

Spike rolled his eyes. "You're just like Martin Luther King, aren't you?"

"She's here," Angel whispered his eyes drifting to the bottom of the bed. He scrambled back a few paces. "Do that thing again, Spike. Make her go away."

Holding out his hands again Spike said firmly. "Be gone ghosts!"

Jenny Calendar tilted her head and studied Spike quizzically for a moment before turning to Angel. "Is he for real?"

"It worked last time," Angel said looking desperately from Spike to Jenny.

Jenny shook her head, "No it didn't. He has no power over us, we chose to leave." She wandered closer to Angel who moved closer to Spike, he felt just a little bit safer with Spike there. "He's handsome, isn't he? And so very wicked."

Angel nodded. "What do you want?"

"I want to die in bed surrounded by my grandchild but that's not going to happen now, is it?"

"I'm sorry," Angel took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what I did to you."

Spike sighed and scratched his head, he was getting pretty board of Angel and his ghosts. "Who'se here?"

"Jenny Calendar."

"The Watcher's bit of fluff? Weren't she a gypsy?"

"Yes," Angel scooted closer to Spike the closer Jenny came to him. "Leave me alone," he pleaded. "I can't take back what I did, I wish I could but I can't."

Jenny tutted. "Of course you can't take it back, you are what you are, Angel; a monster."

"No, I have a soul now."

Spike groaned. "A soul doesn't make you good, you know."

"Shut up, Spike!"

Jenny smiled at Spike. "He's right though, isn't he? You had a soul once before, didn't you?" she laughed and shook her head, her dark hair grazing her chin. "And what a soul it was, what a man you were, a drunken, whoring, layabout. You were a disgrace to your family and a bitter disappointment to you father."

Angel flinched, it was true that he hadn't been the best man he could have been. "I was young," he said. "I didn't have a chance to live properly, I…"

"What's she sayin'?" Spike interrupted. "Why don't you show yourself?" he yelled at the empty room.

"Why can't Spike see you?"

Drifting up to his side Jenny leant close to whisper into his ear. "It's not Spike's time." Her fingers traced his cheek. "I'm here for you, Angel. I'm here to help you."

"H…help me?" Angel stammered, that was news, so far all the ghosts' had done was torment him.

"Well of course help you," Jenny gave him an encouraging smile. "I'm here to help you end all that guilt and misery you carry with you every day, Angel." Her voice lowered and her eyes fixed him with a knowing look. "I know what you want, and if you just take what you want, Angel it'll all be over."

"W…what?"

"Angel?" Spike prodded him in the shoulder. "What's she sayin'?"

"She… she wants to help me."

"Oh," Spike said surprised. "Bet you feel stupid now, don't ya? All that fuss you made over nothin'."

Shaking his head Angel pressed the heel of his hand against his temple, something wasn't quite right he could feel it, but he didn't know what it was. Looking up, searching for Jenny again, a wave of fear washed over him when Angel found himself staring at himself.

It was a scene he knew well, a party in Dublin, he wore a stylish, velvet burgundy coat and his hair was longer, flowing like dark silk to his shoulders and he sported a moustache that curled along his upper lip. He was holding a girl by her arm, Margaret, the maid with the curly blonde hair, crisp frilly cap and the starched white apron. She was terrified, pleading with him to let her go; she thought he wanted something else from her, she thought he wanted what was beneath her long skirts; he didn't, he wanted what coursed through her veins.

Angel heard himself speak in lilting Irish tones that hadn't passed his lips in over a century.

Come, make a scene, huh? Shall I?

No, no. We'll be as quiet as mice.

Angel could do nothing but watch as Angelus pulled Margaret closer, his face changing, his fangs coming out and he bit down on her exposed neck draining the life from her.

Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment Angel hoped the scene would be gone when he opened them again; but it wasn't and there was an extra in it this time. His eyes widened in shock. "Buffy!"

"What?" Spike looked behind him seeming as the Slayer wasn't in front of him, but it was still just him and Angel in the room. "Look, Angel, you 'ave to…."

"I have to get out of here," Angel spun round almost knocking Spike off balance and he raced from the room his feet pounding on the stairs.

Spike let out a long sigh. "He's lost it, he's finally lost it."

XxX

Giles had insisted that Buffy go home at the end of the school day, she had promised her mother they would go shopping for a Christmas tree and besides, she had been so agitated over her exchange with Willow that Giles felt it would be better for Buffy to do something normal for a few hours and try and put Willow out of her mind.

Just what had passed between them Buffy hadn't said, he knew only that Willow been rather harsh. He too had been concerned when Buffy had told him, Willow wasn't like that, she was nice to everyone and so inoffensive that Giles sometimes thought she should take a firmer stance with people. He too was guilty of taking advantage of her kind nature on occasion and he felt bad about it.

Most disturbing though, was the new idea that Willow didn't think the new split status of her soul was that big a deal. It made sense to him now that he thought about it, Willow was always first to help research, she always had her own ideas of where to look for the answers; but twice she had chosen to disregard researching a solution to her problem and go off with Spike instead. As much as Giles would like to lay the blame at Spike's door something told him that it wasn't as simple as Spike being a bad influence.

Xander, Cordelia and Oz were all sitting around the table each engrossed in a book. Giles had, for the moment, elected not to say anything to them about his and Buffy's suspicions; he felt it was best not to upset them before he spoke to Willow.

With a sigh Giles shut the chest that Angel had brought over and placed it on the counter top ready for collection. Although there were some interesting bits and pieces in there it held no information that helped in their current situation. Giles didn't like to admit it, and he certainly wasn't going to tell the others, but he was running out of ideas and exhausting all avenues of exploration.

He looked up as the door opened and Willow came shuffling in, she looked around her warily. "Hey guys, um, no Buffy?"

"I was just wondering about that," Cordelia said looking to Giles for answers.

Giles cleared his throat. "Buffy, has gone with her mother to shop for Christmas trees."

"What?" Cordelia was outraged. "She's the Slayer and she's gone shopping when the rest of us have given up that fun and natural pastime to be here reading these boring books with no information in them whatsoever. Someone needs to get her priorities straight."

Willow bit her lip and twisted her fingers together. "I guess I don't blame her for not wanting to see me right now."

"Buffy has been here," Giles assured her quickly. "I sent her home. She'll be here a little later."

Cordelia looked confused. "What happened?"

"Did you two have a fight after I left?" Xander asked.

Willow considered the question. "No," she said slowly. "I don't think we had a fight exactly."

"Well what did happen?" Cordelia asked impatiently.

"We had words, I suppose you could say." Willow replied. "I guess I said some stuff to her that I shouldn't have said."

"Like what?"

Oz's lips twitched into a small smile at Cordelia's insistence at being included in all kinds of gossip. "We all say things we don't mean when we have a disagreement, I'm sure Buffy's not upset or taking it personally. Whatever it is."

Willow winced. "I wouldn't be too sure about that. I said a lot of stuff I shouldn't have, once you've said something you can't take it back no matter how much you try. You can't make someone not hear something once they have."

"I'm sure she knows that you didn't mean it." Oz wasn't the type to pry and poke into other people's business not even his girlfriends, if Willow wanted him to know what had happened between her and Buffy then she would tell him in her own good time, and if she didn't, that was okay too.

"But I did mean it," Willow admitted. "I just shouldn't have said it."

Xander stared at her for a long moment. "Did you say….I mean, was it along the lines of the stuff I heard?"

Willow nodded. "Something like that."

He let out a breath and picked up the book he had been reading. Xander had to admit that he was glad he hadn't been there for the rest of it, it was difficult to criticise Willow for speaking her mind when it was along the same lines as his own thoughts.

"If we can put that aside for now," Giles said pushing his glasses up his nose. "We have more important things to worry about."

"Not Buffy evidently," Cordelia muttered.

Willow took a seat next to Oz and smiled wanly when his arm encircled her shoulders pulling her closer to rest against him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and rubbed her arm soothingly. "Everyone fights, you and Buffy have had disagreements before."

"Not like this," Willow said her voice low and strained.

She could have ruined her friendship with Buffy today and for what? She no longer had a thing for Xander, it was strange how quickly that had petered out after the kidnapping. Xander hadn't entered her head in any lust filled day dreams at all and he hadn't so much as hinted that his lusty feelings were still running rampant. So why had she brought up that dance to Buffy? It was in the past, it was over and done with and had no bearing on anything that was going on now, what difference did it make?

And how could she have said those things about Angel, about Angelus, about Miss Calendar? She had been unnecessarily cruel and now Willow couldn't say exactly why. She wanted to apologise and take it all back but she knew in her heart that it wouldn't matter what she said to Buffy, her words would still be between them.

"Willow, could I perhaps have a private word with you?" Giles asked gesturing towards his office.

"Sure, Giles." She kissed Oz lightly, waiting for that familiar feeling of warmth at the softness of his lips against hers. Oz kissage had always been like a warm bubble bath at the end of a gruelling day; bliss.

Except now it wasn't.

Oz caught her shoulders as she kissed him harder searching for that blissful Oz feeling; but it was absent, she couldn't find it.

"Get a room," Cordelia huffed from across the table.

"Yeah, best friends present and kinda wigged," Xander added.

Releasing Oz her brow furrowed, Willow got up and followed Giles into the office. "What's the matter, Giles? Is this about Buffy?"

"No, Buffy hasn't revealed any of the details to me," he assured her. "This is about your soul."

"What about it?"

"Is it causing you problems?"

"No, not really."

"Any discomfort?"

Willow shook her head.

"Do you see it as a problem, Willow?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, the situation with Spike, you only having part of your soul. Do you see it as a problem?"

"You don't know how to reverse what I've done, do you?" she guessed.

Giles shook his head. "Not at the moment, that doesn't mean we won't find a way to do it. I'm just a little concerned as to how you're handling everything."

"I'm dealing," she said with a smile. "Really, I'm fine, Giles. No problems at all."

"I'm not so sure about that," he said taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's not like you to lie to us or to duck out on research when you promised to be here. I'm worried that we're starting to see, at least in some small part, a side effect of only half a soul."

She didn't respond right away, instead she simply stared at Giles as though he had announced he was going to quit the Counsel to join a chorus line in Las Vegas. "But that's ridiculous, Giles. Are you saying I can't have fun and live my life without there being some sort of ulterior motivereason?"

"No of course not!"

"I wanted to have some fun, Giles, I wanted to have a night for myself for once. It's my life and I'm entitled to live it however I want to."

"Well yes of course, nobody is disputing that Willow. I appreciate all that you do here and I know Buffy does too. You're invaluable to us both and I do understand that it is not your calling and you are entitled to spend your evenings as you please. But, something has been brought to my attention and I think its worth paying attention to."

"Oh? What is it?" Her curiosity came rushing to the forefront, Willow was a natural problem solver, she loved to discover the answers.

Slowly, to ensure that she took it all in and had the opportunity to ask questions if she wished to, Giles recounted Amy's findings and his own thoughts. "Amy will provide me with further books that belonged to her grandmother, there may be more information in those."

"You… you think I'm going dark?" Willow's voice was a strained whisper.

"Not exactly going dark," Giles said awkwardly. "We all have darkness in us, Willow, and you're no exception. Just look at Angel and Spike, we've seen what happens when the soul departs the body, darkness is inevitable then."

"But… but I'm not like Angel or Spike, I'm not a vampire and I still have part of my soul."

"I'm sure it will do just as well," Giles assured her. "But you must be extra vigilant when it comes to your magic, Willow. You cannot allow the spells you cast to become entangled with darkness it won't do anyone any good."

"Witch!"

Spike's voice caused Willow to jump, she could tell by the angry tone that something was wrong with him. Giles forgotten for the moment she went back into the library to see what had happened to Spike this time.

"There you are," Spike glared at her.

"Is something wrong?" she asked eyeing him nervously.

"Do you know what I've been doin' today?"

"Um, sleeping?"

"Tryin' to sleep," Spike corrected. "It's a bit difficult to do when you're housemate is a doolally vampire."

"What does that mean?" Giles asked following Willow out of the office.

"Do you know what you've done to me?" Spike strode forward until he was face to face with Willow. "I've been counselling Angel! Angel! I've been helpin' him with his little ghostly problems. I don't help Angel!"

Willow simply gaped at him her eyes wide and unblinking.

"Ghostly problems? What does that mean?" Xander asked, getting to his feet wishing he had a crossbow handy in case Spike decided to attack Willow, he looked mean enough to do it at the moment.

"Oh," Spike made a dismissive gesture. "He thinks he's being haunted or some such nonsense. There's always a big drama with Angel."

"Haunted by who?" Giles wondered. "Or by what?"

Spike didn't hesitate, he didn't look to soften the blow, he'd had enough of being considerate for one day. "You're little gypsy woman and a bunch of other people he's killed over the years."

"Jenny," Giles whispered.

"Never mind about him, get this soul outta me before I start feedin' the poor or somethin'."

"That's what we're trying to do. You could always help, another pair of hands would be welcome," Oz said pointing to a stack of books they hadn't yet been through.

"Great. Fine. Let's read," Spike snatched up a book and plopped down in a chair. "You too, Red, this is your fault in the first place."

"I thought we'd established that it's all your fault," Cordelia said giving him a sweet smile. "You know, due to the kidnapping and your general evilness."

Willow sighed and sat down next to Oz again. "It doesn't matter whose fault it is, we just need to find a spell to put it right."

Now more than ever she wanted to find that spell, the last thing Willow wanted was to go dark in anyway and she had to admit that the cloaking spell had gone severely wrong, trying to cloak her from life rather than just from Spike.

Silence reigned in the library for a while. Giles had retreated to the office and closed the door to think about Jenny. If she was back surely it meant something? But why would she go to Angel, why didn't she come to him?

"I can't wait for Christmas vacation," Cordelia said, marking her page and taking a sip of water. "It'll be a relief to get out of this place, all these books are depressing. No offence, Willow."

Willow glanced up from the computer screen. "It's alright, I understand."

"Have you found anything at all?" Oz got up to stretch out his back and came to rest his hands on her shoulders and peer at the screen.

"No," she said with a small sigh. "Maybe we should give this a rest for a bit and try and find something to help Angel?"

"Or we could just keep doing this and find something to help me," Spike replied.

"Self-absorbed much," Cordelia muttered.

"What is this thing with Angel anyway?" Xander asked looking expectantly at Spike.

Spike scowled at all the interruptions but he explained anyway knowing that they wouldn't get back to work until he did. Good help was so hard to find these days!

"What do you think?" Oz asked giving Willow's shoulders a light squeeze.

"I don't know, I guess we'd have to look into it. It's strange how he's being haunted now though, I mean he's had his soul for a long time, you'd think something like this would have happened before."

"Does it really matter?" Spike complained and shook a book at her.

Willow sighed and made a face. "I suppose not, at least, not until he asks for our help."

The doors suddenly burst open and Buffy came flying through them like a tiny tornado. "Giles! Where's Giles?"

"Office," Xander pointed towards the door. "What's up, Buff?"

"Buffy?" Giles poked his head out of the office. "What's the matter?"

"Something seriously wiggy is going on. I was shopping for Christmas trees like a normal person and then bam," she clapped her hands together for emphasis. "I'm in Angel's dream and I'm watching him kill a woman at some party, like, a hundred years ago or something. Wiggy, right?"

"Um, well, yes," Giles agreed.

Spike got to his feet. "When was this?"

"Oh um, about half an hour ago."

"That's when it was all happenin', all this ghost business. And right in the middle of it all he yells '"Buffy!'" and then takes off like someone deranged."

Buffy stared at him stupidly. "What's he on about?"

"Angel's being haunted," Xander said.

Buffy still had no clue and it showed on her face. Spike grit his teeth and went through the whole Angel episode again for her benefit.

"Where is he now?" Buffy demanded.

Spike shrugged. "How do I know? Like I said, he took off."

"I'd better get out there and see if I can find him," Buffy said.

"You might want to call on Faith," Giles suggested. "You might need back up if Angel's that disturbed."

"He's a vampire who shagged a Slayer, of course he's disturbed."

"Shut up, Spike!" Giles glared at him. "Don't go alone, Buffy. It might not be safe."

Buffy went into the book cage to arm herself, just in case and promised that she would call at Faith's place before she went looking for Angel. She paused once to look at Willow and was relieved to see the familiar sympathetic look on her friends face. "I don't want to abandon you or anything, but if Angel's in trouble I can't run the risk that he'll hurt anyone."

"I understand," Willow said. "Go help Angel. My problem will still be here when you're done. I don't think it has a time limit or anything."

"I'm going to get a drink, can I get you anything?" Oz asked putting a comforting arm around her waist. "See," he whispered in her ear. "Everything's fine with you two."

"You were right," she said with a nod. "And no, I'm fine thanks."

Spike watched them his eyes narrowing with displeasure. Just why it bothered him to see them together he couldn't quite say, but it did. He was used to her focusing on him and him alone whenever he was with her and Spike discovered that he didn't like not being the focal point of her attention.

Cordelia passed by him to go up into the stacks and replace a pile of books. "You look like a jealous lover."

Spike scowled at her but didn't respond; he rather felt like a jealous lover and that was absurd. Nothing had passed between him and Willow that could be construed as romantic, just a bit of harmless flirtin' on his part. But there was something between them, something that sizzled and sparked and Spike knew she was aware of it too.

He was damned if he was going to sit in this poxy library all night watching her with the wolf and being completely ignored. He wasn't used to Willow ignoring him and Spike sure as hell wasn't going to get used to it either. There was only one way to remedy this situation and Spike intended to take it.

He waited until the wolf had followed the Slayer out of the library, the Watcher went back into the office and conveniently the boy started digging through some books with his back to them. He slid up to Willow's side.

"Fancy a real drink, love?"

Willow caught her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment her eyes on Xander's back. "When?"

"Now," his lips brushed her ear and Willow shivered. "Come on, pet, lets get out of 'ere and 'ave some fun."

Willow knew she shouldn't go, that she shouldn't disappear again; but the temptation of Spike was simply too strong to resist. "We probably shouldn't." It was a token response, she was already trying not to alert Xander that she was creeping from the library.

"That's what makes it fun," he wheedled, holding the door open for her and grinning when she ducked under his arm.

"Will you buy me one of those fruity drinks?"

"As many as you like."

"Can we do some more spells?"

"If you want to."

Willow paused on the top step when they exited the building a thoughtful look on her face and a glint in her eye Spike was already familiar with and looked forward to with great anticipation.

"Spike…"

"Hum?"

"Will you…. Will you take me to Willy's?"

"Not in that get up," he said eyeing her jeans and brightly striped top.

She looked down at herself and frowned. She could see his point. "I have a different outfit."

Spike smiled slowly. "Yeah love, I'll take you."