There was indeed something calming in the way Mark patted Emma's head and his fingers got entwined in her hair and simply let her stay in his arms until she's calmed down. He was reading another book, while sitting on the floor, back leaned against the bed and Emma between his legs, arms around his waist and back as if she was holding on dear life and one cheeck on his chest where she could listen to his calmly beating heart which was also soothing her.
He didn't ask questions, he didn't enquire for anything from her, he simply let her cry her eyes out while quietly reading his book, without him disturbing her and vice versa.
Emma already felt the need to shift and adjust her position into a more comfortable one, but she felt like Mark has forgotten her presence and she didn't want to bother him or ruin the moment, because any indication of movement would suggest that she could as well talk, and she didn't feel like talking or explaining herself.
After a few minutes she felt that one of her legs was falling asleep because of the uncomfortable postion she was in and the way she had bend one knee over the other. She moved her legs first and then straightened up, ready to get up of the floor and probably make a silent exit, but Mark helped her himself to get up on her feet again.
''Thank you.'' She said awkwardly and smiled. ''Looks like today I've done more than enough crying for a whole year and you had to witness it all. I am sorry.''
''I am glad you came to me.'' He said and stepped away from her after sensing that they were too close to each other and felt like a certain distance between them was a good idea. ''You looked tempted back then at the beach where you talked to Julian.''
Emma raised her eyebrows and her face changed into a surprised one. ''You saw?''
''I saw.'' He told her and sat back on his bed this time, Emma in front of him standing, so he had to raise his head a little bit in order to look into her eyes. ''I wanted to come to you, but Julian was faster.'' He looked behind him, where the window was. ''And angrier.''
''He wanted to know what probably everybody wants to know.'' She told Mark and went to the window. The weather was sunny and warm, typical for LA. It was Emma that felt like a storm has come and swept her away. Her whole being felt stormy and confused and out of place.
''Do you mind telling me then?'' He asked and Emma let out a heavy sigh. Mark felt discouraged by the sound of it.
''You have to know.'' She told him and turned around. ''I mean the whole reason I came to you with the request to be my fake boyfriend is all connected to what Malcom told me the night before he became seafood.''
Mark just nodded and made sure to make it clear that he was ready to listen. Emma took a deep breath in and approached the bed and sat on it as well, opposite of Mark.
''You've probably guessed the majority of it, you know it is all about Julian, you know how I feel about him and so on, but it is a bigger picture. Because if we were to get caught, the whole family will suffer because of our mistakes.''
''This doesn't sound right. Shouldn't Julian know about it if all of us will suffer?''
Emma smiled a hopless smile and shook her head no.
''I would have told him if it weren't for the advice of someone who has lived long enough to know what to do and how to act in this kind of situation.''
''But Julian is directly involved in this, right? Then he should know.''
''Knowing does not stop the heart from feeling.'' Emma said lost in thought, eye staring at the wall.
''What?'' Mark asked confused and Emma shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.
''The thing is Julian is in love with me, probably has been since many many years, his feelings are earnest and real and true and what he feels toward me is way too strong to stop now. I love him as well, always have, just don't know when I started to feel this way about him.''
''But he doesn't know that you feel the same exact way about him like he does about you.'' Mark concluded in thought and wrinkled his eyebrows. Emma nodded and let the information suck in.
''The reason I can't tell him is becaue it will only give him false hope that we can be together. Him knowing how I feel about him will never stop him from loving me, so I need to break his heart and make sure he hates me or at least doesn't love me the way he does now.''
''Why? Why lie?'' Mark asked and Emma had to let out another smile because this was the very same thing he told her weeks ago when she suggested they pretend to be a couple. Now was the time he learned why she had to lie.
''There is a parabatai curse. Malcom told me.''
''A curse? And you believe him?''
''I have experienced enough of that curse to believe Malcom.''
''What is it? Why didn't we study about it? Why didn't anybody tell us? Ot at least the people who want a parabatai?''
''This is where the Clave comes to play. They don't want the curse to be made known to everybody, because it can be used against them, it can get dangerous. Only a few know about it, like the Silent Brothers and some warlocks like Malcom. Malcom told me about the existance of the curse, which of course I didn't believe in, but I got confirmation and details on it from an ex-Silent Brother and distant family member which made me believe it all.''
''So what Malcom told you, the night you fought him … it was true?'' There was the silent note of him hoping that Emma would say 'no, none of it was true', but he already knew what the answer was. Emma nodded once again and Mark diverted his gaze elsewhere.
''So what is this curse? What does it do to you?'' He asked barely audible with a weak voice as if he was lost and all hope was beaten away from him. Emma felt sorry for him. She saw how much he cared for his younger brother. Day by day he was getting more and more like the old Mark. More concered about his family, more worried about them, more protective, more of the old boy everybody missed and were glad to have by their side again.
''It can only happen if both people are parabatai and in love with each other. EROS. The love that all parabatai are forbidden from feeling toward each other. This is how the curse can become real and dangerous.''
''So what does it do to you?'' He asked a bit more impatiently and louder.
''It works like warlock magic.'' Emma told him and saw the confused expression on Mark's face. ''Every rune applied to you from your parabatai is insanely strong and way more powerful than any other rune ever created. The magic that bounds us, the parabatai oath and everything it gets stronger. So strong we could be considered dangerous to all Shadowhunters.''
''I don't get it. It doesn't sound that bad? Does it?''
''This is the simple part I have already experienced. I healed him from poisoning not even a Silent Brother wouldhave healed if you are not on time. At the cave, when we freed Tavvy I am pretty sure I heard Julian in my head telling me to wait for the perfect timing, afterwards he gave me a healing rune, the rune started glowing so I covered it up as fast as I could and the power I felt coming from it through my body was enormous and nothig like I've ever felt before.''
''So this is like a sign that the curse is taking it's turn?''
''Yes.''
''And the bad news?''
''It consumes you. Our minds, our bodies. Eventually we would reach a warlock level, we would want more, our greed will get bigger until it all consume us. We will get dangerous, it will be hard to stop us, we may even hurt the people we love the most. We will abuse it's power. We will lose ourselves. And when the Clave finds out, best case scenario will be getting stripped off our marks. If we survive, we live as mundanes, if not … well that one is obvious. Whatver the outcome will be, it will be bad for both me and Julian and all of you. And I can't let that from happening, I can't let Julian or anyone of you getting hurt because of our feelings we already can't control.''
''But why? Why become parabatai in the first place if you love each other?''
''After you got taken away and Helen was exiled, I were to enter the now reopened Academy and the kids were to be given to other families. Julian couldn't bare the thought of us all separating so he suggested the one and only way he could keep me by his side and I agreed, afraid to be away from him. I never knew it would turn out this way.''
''Julian has always loved you. I've always seen the way he looks at you, the way he cares for you, the way he took the blame for you just becsuse he didn't want to see you getting scolded. It is not surprising to me that he went to those lenghts for you.'' Mark told her and smiled. A warm and friendly smile, one that could make you feel better and safe. Emma smiled back.
''I've thought about telling him, but as I said, a person once told me that the best way to stop those feelings is not acknowledging them, but to break the heart of the other person. Julian mustn't know that I love him, he has to belive that I love you. He has to believe that I am happy with you and that he is my parabatai and nothing more. He has to move on and fall in love with someone else, anyone else but me.''
''Why me? You could have went to your previous boyfrined, Julian looks pretty pissed off by him.''
Emma looked away for a moment and thought before speaking. ''You are closer to me. We can be seen together at all times.''
''That is only half the truth.'' He told her and looked at her in that special way in which Emma knew that she would have to tell him more. She bit her lip and let out another breath.
''You are Julian's weak spot. You make him vulnerable.''
Mark raised an eyebrow uncertain how to process this infromation.
''He told me himlself. That the one thing he would never be able to come back from is me and you being together, me and you being in love with each other.''
There was a long silence between them and Emma felt that even her breathing was too loud and disturbing.
''But why?''
''I guess there is nothing more important to him in the world then mine and your happiness and if we were to share it together it would be something devastating for Julian since he won't be able to hate you like he hates Cameron. Because you are his precious older brother he has always looked up to and he can't hate you even if it meant you being with the girl he loves the most. It will make him hate himself, it will break him and destroy him. That's why.''
Emma was scared for a moment that Mark would call it quits since she was deliberately using him as a weapon to hurt his younger brother. He wouldn't blame him. She should have played with her cards open from the start if she was going to make such cruel requests where it could involve the permanent damage of the relationship between two borthers, who cared too much for each other.
Though Mark now looked like he had different thoughts on his mind, not as serious as Emma's. Maybe he wouldn't say anything about it because he himself was using Emma. Whatver they were doing, whoever they were trying to hurt with their foul play, they might as well try and mend their hearts while they are at it, because all players invovled would be coming damaged out of this game.
''Have you ever...'' Mark began anew, but shook his head as if he thought that what he was about to ask was unasked for and stupid.
''What?'' Emma asked eagerly, just to make sure they didn't stay silent for too long.
''Nothing.''
''No, tell me! Have I ever what?''
Mark giggled and rubbed his eyes. It was now that Emma realized that he looked tired and the information she gave him, made him more exhausted than before.
''There's got be a reason he feels that way about you and me. Something must have happened in the past for him to feel jelous of you being in love with me.''
Emma reverted her eyes as a thought came to mind.
''You know something!'' Mark exclaimed and pointed at her accusingly with his index finger.
''I know nothing!'' Emma answered stubbornly and tunred her back on him.
''Yes you do! Look at you acting like a kid!''
''I am not acting like a kid!''
''You are!'' He told her and tried to turn her around, but Emma got off the bed before he had a chance of even touching her.
''There was this one time I acknowledged your good looks and Julian got upset.'' She told him with a pout and crossed arms in front of her. It was hard being so open about your twelve years old crushes you had on someone who was being considered a young adult and in charge of them at that time.
''One time my fairy behind!'' Mark exclaimed in a joyous voice. ''It must have been more than once for him to act that way! Plus I admit that I am one very well looking individual as well.''
Emma rolled her eyes. ''There we go. Don't exaggerate! You are not that good looking!''
''Good enough for you to stare and Julian to get mad.'' There was a wide and silly smile on Mark's face which made him look younger and pawkier and Emma couldn't help but laugh as well. He did look good when he smiled, but he looked more cute right now. ''How come I never noticed this?''
''You were too busy reading books to pay any attention to what we did. Ty even threw a knife at you, but you barely moved.''
Mark laughed loudly, one hand on his stomach. Emma was glad at least one of them were having the time of their life.
''No wonder Julian would not allow me sit next to you or be next to you if we were to play a game or take a photo! Oh boy this explains soo much!''
''Glad you're enjoying yourself, but pleae if you act cocky I'm going to have to two time you, because that behaviour is not attractive.''
''Yeah, yeah, you are already too deep in this mess to run away now.''
Emma made her way towards the door but Mark caught her hand and spun her around.
''Tell me what you liked about me? Which part?''
''Oh Raziel, no!'' Emma tried to free her hand, but he was holding her in a tight grip and was pulling her to him.
''Tell me or I won't let you go!'' The smile on his face grwe bigger and bigger with every moment.
"Mark! You are being ridiculous!'' Emma manged to open his door and step in the hallway, but he was still pulling her to himand was refusing to let her go. They both were using some serious strenght at the moment even if they were joking and playing around.
''Tell me!''
''Someone may hear us!'' Emma whispered concered and looked around to see if the coast was clear.
''Let them hear, we are playing the way we should be anyways.'' He winked and again started pulling her back in his room, but Emma was figting back.
''If I tell you will you let me go?''
''Yes."
''Promise?''
Mark nodded and Emma sighed.
''Your cheekbones.''
''Just that? It can't be all, can it?'' He asked with a wicked smiled and pulled Emma harder to him, to the point where her chest was touching his.
''I don't know, your face! I was twelve do you really think I can remember?'' Emma was now struggling with the hand on her back, since this made it harder for her to pull away.
''My face is better!''
''LET GO!''
''Not a satisfying answer. What else?''
''By the Angel, Mark!''
''There's gotta be more!''
''Fine! FINE! Everything.''
''Everything?''
''Yes, everything!''
''You haven't seen everything to like everything!''
''Let go!''
''Come back inside and I will show you everything and then you can judge and decide if you like everything about me!'
''Oh, hell no!''
Emma freed herself in one manoeuvre and ran down the hallway while laughing. She slowed down after a while and when she turned back she was not surprised to find the hallway empty. She laughed again and turned to go when Mark appeared in front of her and surprised her.
They both proceeded towards the entrance of the Institute while running, with Mark chasing after Emma until they were outside on the beach, where Emma was on the defensive and Mark on the offensive. Something she thought would never happen. Everybody knew her as the first one to attack, but not to defend unless needed.
Mark tried a few attempts to catch her, but failed. The quiet afternoon was now filled with the sounds of their laughter and Emma's strong objection about seeing everything Mark had to offer and then decide if she really liked everything about him. In an desperate attempt to intimidate her, he tried taking his shirt of, but Emma stopped him, which caused the perfect opportunity for him to catch her and they both got more touchy with each other, with Emma trying to tickle Mark.
Everything was games and smiles until one particular sound made them both stop in their tracks, with cold fear and shivers running down their spines. They froze the moment the horrible sound, familiar and unwelcomed, made it's way to their ears. Mark was holding Emma's forearm and the smiles that were on their faces moments ago, disappeared as if they never were there.
It was that one sound that brought only bad news and despair with itself.
It was Gwyn's horn.