Free to Fly: A Memoir
Years Past
Four Years Later
Falmouth, Massachusetts
Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.
Some men have died
and some are alive
and others sail on the sea
– with the keys to the cage...
and the Devil to pay
we lay to Fiddler's Green!
The bell has been raised
from its watery grave...
Do you hear its sepulchral tone?
We are a call to all,
pay head the squall
and turn your sail toward home!
Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.
Shooting up from my bed I clench my chest gasping as I try to catch my breath. Nothing but nightmares for the past seven months, all different yet so similar at the same time. Knowing I will not be able to go back to sleep I grab my over coat and find my way out to the balcony. Looking over the sleeping town towards the Cape my thoughts go astray.
Storming down the dirt road with Jackson at toe, Elizabeth wanted to get as far away from the ship as she could. As soon as they touched shore she was gone, it didn't matter how much she loved the freedom of the open water. She was a mother first and would not allow it to happen again.
It was harder than I thought to leave Jack on the ship but I just couldn't stay there any longer. He understands, that's why he let me go. I want this baby to healthy, to live, to see what freedom feels like.
"Elizabeth, stop!" She wasn't sure why but she stopped abruptly in her tracks to Jacks command, which caused Jackson to ram in to her legs. "Why did you just take off? We drop anchor and you and the lad are gone. You can't be doin that, Love." Still facing away from Jack, Elizabeth softly says, "You of all people should know. I can't be on that ship anymore. I can't take it…" Spinning around, "It's suffocating me Jack! I can't bear to lose another one," Grabbing her extended belly, while tears slide down her cheeks, "Especially after losing Lucy. I…I…just…" Pulling her into a tight embrace, Jack whispered, "I sorry, love, I shouldn't question."
"Consequences think about the consequences," is something my father told me as a little girl. Before taking action always think about the consequences and what will happen after. That is something I didn't do before leaving Will, I only did what I thought was best. And now I'm facing the consequences. The life of a pirate is no life for a child. I can deny it all I want, but staying on land is the only way.
It had only been four months since they had released us from our cells under the EICo., four months since I lost first born. I found myself pregnant; I didn't know wither to feel guilty or over joyed. The pregnancy went smoothly but the birth was unbearable, nothing like when I had Liam or Jackson. She was beautiful though, Lucinda, or Lucy for short. However, just three weeks after her birth, she passed away.
As Elizabeth walked into the captain's cabin to check on Lucy all was silent. "Oh my God!" Elizabeth cried out clasping her hands over her mouth. Hearing her scream Jack rushed down to the cabin, slamming open the door. "What is it?" All Elizabeth could do was point towards where the infant was laying. Looking down at the baby, "She so still, and cold. Elizabeth?" Jack whispered.
"Is this how it's going to be? Are all my children going to be taken before me?" "Mother?" Glancing over her shoulder she found Jackson standing in the entrance way. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" "I woke and you weren't in bed again." "I was unable to sleep. I'll be in in a minute, go back to bed." Elizabeth ordered while quickly whipping away tears. Before completely disappearing through the doorway, "Why did father leave us here?" "Jackson, he didn't leave us here, I want to be here and he left because he's a pirate, that's what pirates do." "You're a pirate why are…" "Jackson…bed!" "Well maybe if he comes back you'll stop having bad dreams." Closing her eyes. "They're not because of your father." "Mum, this baby will be alright, you need to stop worrying yourself." "Those are very insightful words for such a young boy. Now Jackson, please go to bed." "Goodnight, Mother"
Looking up at the moon, "Jack, wherever you are, please come back, we…I need you."