Chapter 10 – Hurting

"Jane? Where are you?"

"Oh, hey John, I'm outside the city, I'll come find you later in the afternoon, gotta go."

"Jan…", John called after his girlfriend again but Jane had already hung up.

Jane drove up to the cabin and felt her heart starting to race. She had no idea what she was going to say, all she knew was that she wanted to see Maura. She walked up the porch, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again, a bit louder. Still no answer. Jane walked to the window and looked in, there was nobody inside, the place was cleaned up and tidy, only bare furniture inside. She glanced over to the counter in the kitchen, there was nothing on it. There was no sign of anybody staying at the cabin. Jane let her head rest on the window frame, She's gone, she thought to herself. She closed her eyes and sighed before turning around and walking back to the car.

"All I'm saying is that you need to forget about her! Endgame! Finito! Move on! Seriously Maura I don't get it! You are hotter, smarter, nicer, sexier than her and you are here, still suffering while she's out there shagging some stupid guy!"

Maura lifted her head up in shock, "She's what?"

"Crap!" Emma rested her head on the fingers of her right hand and started rubbing her forehead.

"What did you say?" Maura asked again. "She's seeing somebody?"

There was so much pain in Maura's eyes that Emma wanted to lie but she could not. She took her phone and looked at Maura. She decided to rip the bandage off quickly.

"Yes Maura, she's seeing somebody and according to this, she looks happy" Emma said as she turned her phone for Maura to see. There was a photo of Jane with John, both smiling broadly, relaxed, with their arms around one another.

Maura felt like someone kicked her in the stomach, she felt nauseous, "Where did you get this?" she managed to ask barely breathing.

"Boston Herald. You know, Boston's finest happily in love, something along those lines."

"When was this taken?" Maura asked dryly.

"I have no idea, why does it matter Maura, the bottom line is that she has moved on and you need to do the same."

Maura said nothing, she just got up, took her bag and her coat and stormed out.

"Maura", Emma yelled after her but Maura was already gone. "Dammit!" Emma leaned back in her chair running her fingers through her hair. "Shit!"

Maura got out of the building and started aimlessly walking down the street, her eyes misty from the tears welling up inside. She just wanted to run away from the pain, she didn't want to feel anything anymore, she couldn't feel that excruciating pain again… not again… not anymore.

Jane was standing in front of her front door, keys in her hand when she heard a familiar voice behind her "Jane! I have been looking for you, where have you been?" She turned around to face John. He leaned in to kiss her but she moved her head so he would kiss her cheek.

"Hey John, I went to look for a friend. It's good that you came, I'd like to talk, let's have a beer."

"Sure", John sensed something was off but he didn't want to jump to any conclusions.

Jane walked over to the fridge and took out two bottles. As she handed one to John he said jokingly "So, is this one of those You're a great guy but… kind of talks?" smiling broadly.

Jane said nothing at first, her eyes focused on the beer label she was playing with.

"Oh, wow, it actually is that kind of talk" John said in surprise.

Jane lifted her head and looked at John, "You really are a great guy John, but there is somebody else from before and I am not sure if I am in love with her or not, but I know that she can make me laugh like nobody else, drive me nuts even more than my mom sometimes, and make me feel like I'm the most special woman in the world. And I have hurt her so much, and I need to see if I can fix it somehow to see what we are, what we can be…"

John's mouth was open wide, "Her?" "Her!" "You're a dyke now!" he burst into laughter. "Oh, this is hilarious, you are dumping me for a woman, you can't be serious! You sure did not seem like a dyke when you were on top of me!"

"Look, John, please don't take this the wrong way, this has nothing to do with you, I've been running away from who I truly am, and I was too afraid to face everything that comes with it, and when I ran into you it seemed so easy to just forget about it all and have fun with you. But that was a mistake, I shouldn't have done it, and I know it wasn't fair to you, and I am truly sorry…"

"Oh, come on Jane, you can't be serious!" He got up and put his arm around Jane's waist pulling her violently close to him. "What, I'm not a man enough for you!?" he shouted.

"John, what are you doing?" Jane asked, trying to free herself from his grip but he squeezed her even tighter causing a glimmer of panic to appearing in her eyes "John, let go of me!"

"I'm gonna show you that you are wrong and get that silly idea out of your head!" John said as he started pushing her towards the kitchen table.

"No, John, stop, what are you doing, let me go!" Jane yelled, fear now visibly obvious in her voice.

"You are not a dyke Jane, just relax and enjoy all of me, no woman can give you this" he said as he pushed his crotch against Jane's and pushed her onto the table, his right hand squeezing her neck.

Jane's mind started rushing, he was not drunk, and he was physically stronger than her, she was looking around to grab something to hit him with but there was nothing in her reach. Both his hands were now gripping her arms so firmly that she felt pain in them.

"Stop John, you are hurting me", Jane tried again but he was not listening and pushed both her hands above her head holding them both now with his left hand and using the other one to rip her top in a second. He started running his hand down Jane's bare skin, "Come on Jane, you've enjoyed this so far, you will enjoy it again!"

Jane was disgusted when she felt his lips on her skin. When his hand started moving down her body and started unzipping her pants she tried kicking him with her leg but he quickly put all his body weight on top of her paralyzing any move she might try to make. His hand was now in Jane's pants and she tried to wiggle her way out somehow but could not.

This is not happening, Jane started panicking, all she wanted was to have him off of her. Suddenly she thought she heard some noise at the door and she yelled as loud as she could "Heeeeeelp!".

"Shut up!" John quickly put his mouth over her mouth. And pushed his hand deeper inside her pants. Jane thought she was gonna throw up, she did not want to feel his hand anywhere near her skin, she did not want to feel his breath or his body on top of her. She just wanted him far away from her and yet he was still here, his hand was still in her pants, touching parts of her body she didn't want him to touch anymore.

Korsak and Frankie were standing out the door.

"Did you hear that?", Frankie asked.

"No, I didn't hear anything, what now you are hearing stuff?" Korsak joked as he started knocking on the door. "Jane, we see your car here, come on, we want a beer." No answer. Korsak turned to Frankie and shrugged, "Maybe she took Jo Friday for a walk."

"Maybe…, you wanna go walk around to find her or go back to the station?" Frankie asked.

"Let's go back to the station, we can come back later."

"Ok, let me just call her phone, I feel like something's off", Frankie said.

"Oh, Frankie, relax, she's fine, Jane can take care of herself", Korsak replied as he started walking towards the car.

Jane heard them outside and was trying to make some kind of a noise to get their attention but could not get John to move one inch. When Jane's phone suddenly started ringing it took John by surprise and Jane took her chance getting one leg from below him and kicking a big vase that was standing on the end of the table. Frankie first heard the phone ring and a second later he heard the loud noise of something breaking. He grabbed his gun and shouted, "Korsak!" before hitting the door with his leg as hard as he could.

The doors slammed open as Jane managed to shout "Help!" again. Frankie rushed in seeing Jane inside struggling with a man. Korsak was right behind him. Frankie grabbed the man by his shoulders and threw him onto the fridge. John fell down from the force of the hit. Frankie yelled "Are you ok, Jane?". But Jane did not reply. Frankie glanced back at her and saw her clothes ripped. His hands went down to pick John up, "You son of a bitch, I will kill you!" he yelled as he started hitting John with his fists and banging his head against the fridge. "Frankie, Frankie, stop!" Korsak yelled at him. Korsak grabbed Frankie and pulled him away from John who slumped to the ground.

"Take care of Jane, I'll take care of him" Korsak said.

Frankie quickly turned around towards Jane, he took off his jacket and put it around her, helping her up and taking her to another room as Korsak put handcuffs on John. Frankie helped Jane sit on the bed, she was shaking.

"Jane, it's ok, it's over, he can't hurt you anymore."

"I tried to get him off of me, I tried to find something to hit him with, but I couldn't. Why couldn't I, I am trained in this, I should have been able to fight him off."

"Jane, you trusted him, you did not expect your boyfriend to attack you, you did not have time to prepare the guard." He looked at her neck, there were bruises showing already, traces of John's fingers on her skin. Her hands were shaking as she kept on repeating, "I should have been able to stop him… I should have…"

"It's ok Jane, I'm here now" Frankie looked at his sister, broken, her eyes lost, still shaking. "Jane, did he…" he couldn't get himself to finish the sentence but knew he had to ask. "Do I need to call for the… …rape… kit" he finally finished.

"No…, he… didn't… but if you hadn't come…he would…" she whispered but could not finish the sentence. She jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom. Frankie heard her vomit as he took his phone. "Ma, Jane needs you, come to her apartment, I'm here."

"What happened!? Is she ok?", Angela asked worried.

"She's fine Ma, I mean she's not, errr…. look she's ok now, just come here."

Frankie hung up the phone and turned towards the bathroom, "Jane, I'm gonna come in, ok?".

Jane was sitting on the floor next to the toilet bin, her head resting against the tiles behind her. "I should… have… been… able to stop him…" she just kept on repeating.

"You did stop him Jane, he did not manage to hurt you, you were fighting, you did not give him a chance to hurt you, ok? You stopped him! You managed to push that vase, you managed to catch our attention, you stopped him!"

Jane was just sitting there on the floor, her eyes still empty and lost.

Frankie leaned forward "Come on, let's get you up" he said as he put his arm around Jane's waist and helped her up. "Why don't you wash your face a bit, the water will feel good."

Frankie held Jane with one hand and turned on the cold water with another. Jane put her hands under the water and stared at it run over her fingers. She took some water in her hands and splashed it over her face. It felt good, so she repeated the action several times then again put her hands under the water and let it run over them as tears started welling in her eyes and her body started to shake. Frankie reached out and shut the water off as Jane turned towards him and buried his head in his shoulder. Frankie put his arms around her "It's ok, I'm here, everything is ok now".

Frankie was worried, Jane seemed so fragile and vulnerable now. "Let's go and sit down" he suggested and led Jane towards the bedroom.

"John…? Vince…? What's going on? Where are you taking him? What happened? Where is Jane?", Angela had so many questions seeing Korsak taking John into the car, with handcuffs.

"Jane is inside with Frankie, go find them, Angela", Korsak replied giving Angela a worried look.

She did not like that look, she saw that look several times when something had happened to her Jane.

Angela rushed into the house, "Jane! Frankie! Jane!"

"We are in the bedroom, Ma!", Frankie shouted back.

"Will someone tell me what…?" Angela's question was cut short upon seeing her daughter.

Jane was sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs up, hugging them with her own arms. Frankie was sitting next to her, his right arm around Jane. She did not look well to Angela, she seemed to be in some kind of a shock and Angela could not make heads or tails of the whole situation. She gave a questioning look to Frankie. Frankie stood up and walked towards Angela.

"John attacked her, tried to… ra… err… he tried to force himself on her", he explained.

"What!? How is that possible?!", Angela rushed to sit next to Jane. "Jane, honey, are you ok?"

"Ma…" Jane started crying as she turned around putting her arms around Angela.

"I'm here, honey, everything's going to be fine", Angela replied as she embraced her daughter protectively.

"Everything will be ok, Jane", Angela repeated.

"I just wish Maura was here", Jane said quietly.