Chapter 6 pt.3

A/N: Will I ever finish the Phantom of the Opera segment? I really hope to within the next chapter or two! I promise! Many cyber hugs to my wonderful reviewers. You guys put a smile on my face and a blow horn next to the ear of my muse. Onward!

FYI: Don't own…yadda, yadda, yadda…never have…yadda, yadda, yadda…never will.

"How's Paris treating you?"

Vader stared at the Authoress. Pure contempt seeping from his eyes through the mask.

"How's Paris treating us? Well let me see, so far we've dumped in an alley, drawn into a beautiful but malevolent building, chased by a mob, stabbed at by a pitch fork, Luke even fell down a flight of stairs! A…"

" And all you got was this lousy tee-shirt!" The Authoress exclaimed.

"What?! What is a tee-shirt? WHERE ARE WE WOMAN!!!" Vader growled at the Authoress, who looked unconcerned about the glare being sent her way. She conjured up three chairs and sat down.

"Ok," she began."This may be a little hard for you to wrap your heads around but try and understand." She cleared her throat. " I have brought you to a city called Paris an the country of France on the planet called earth.You have never heard of it and you never will. This is the year 1872, by earth count. I have brought you to this particular point in time because I feel you may find kindred spirit in these dark tunnels." Luke began to speak but the authoress interrupted him. " No questions until I am done with my commentary!" She glared at Luke. Her glare softened a bit as she gazed into his blue eyes. " Have I ever told you I have a weakness for guys with blue eyes?" Luke gave her a startled look and began inconspicuously inching his chair away.

The Authoress came back from la-la land with a start.

"Whoa, never put Captain Hook, Agent Smith, and Ana… Hayden Christensen in the same day dream together…never…" She looked at the now very scared Luke and the slightly irritated Vader sitting across from her. " Ok, floor now open for comments!"

Luke looked at the Authoress and said " I have several questions."

The Authoress settled herself in her chair. " Quest away."

Luke raised his eyebrow but shrugged it off. " First, do you have a name? We can't just call you the Authoress the entire time we're here can we?"

The Authoress looked thoughtful. "Technically you could, but I see your point. You may call me…Cheesy."

"Cheesy? Are you joking?" Vader interjected.

"Hey!" The Authoress who will now be known henceforth as Cheesy yelled. "Silence in the peanut gallery!"

Vader began to stand. "Young lady I have put up with this for as long as I can handle, I have killed men for less then what I have out up with from you for the past hours!" Vader was on his feet, towering above the deceptively calm Cheesy. "I demand that you return us home this instant!"

" Or you'll what?" Cheesy replied "Choke me with the Force? Oops! I've suspended your Force abilities! You use it when and how I tell you!" She began to rise, coming to just above the buttons on Vader's chest, but glaring unafraid into his mask. "Now SIT!"

A very shocked Vader slowly lowered himself into his chair. Luke glanced from one to the other. Giving his father a sympathetic glance he turned back to Cheesy.

"You said you had someone you wanted us to meet?"

Cheesy sat down and resumed her business-like composure.

"Yes, I wanted you to meet a man called Erik. He is the resident ghost at this opera house. He's not a real ghost of course, but you might find him to be interesting company."

Luke raised an eyebrow, mentally willing her to continue.

" Oh," Cheesy put in " he lives across the lake!"

Vader sighed. "And how are we supposed to get there? My suit is not exactly waterproof."

Cheesy snapped her fingers. " I knew I forgot something!"

She turned to the lake and began making the motions of pulling an invisible rope.

"Father…I think she finally lost it."

Vader silently observed Cheesy for a few moments.

" I hate to tell you this son, but I don't think she ever had it."

Cheesy turned and glared at the pair before giving a swift jerk to her invisible rope, and to the surprise of father and son a small boat drifted into view.

" Gentlemen, your ride has come!"

The gondola floated gently in the water; unaware of the turmoil it had cause on the shore.

"You cannot be serious! You want me to get on that floating plank, which will probably sink the moment I step on it? Voluntarily?!"

Cheesy sighed at the Sith Lord before her.

" Come on Vader don't be such a pansy! It won't sink, I promise!"

Vader counted to ten and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, so now I'm supposed to take your word at face value now am I?"

Luke sat on the shore, beginning to tire of the constant arguing of his companions.

"Guys." Luke called. No response

"Guys?!" Nothing.

"GUYS!!!!"

Vader and Cheesy turned sharply to Luke

"WHAT!" They asked

Luke turned to his father.

"Can we just get going? Honestly, you two are worse then Han and Leia!"

Vader and Cheesy looked at each other and then back at Luke.

"I resent that!" They said.

"You cut that out!"

The pair returned to glaring at each other and Luke gave a long-suffering sigh.

"I'm going on the boat father, you can come along or stay here."

"Fine," Vader growled. "But I am only coming because you want me to son, not for this harpy's amusement."

Cheesy rolled her eyes at the immaturity of his statement.

"Oh honestly, you'd think I'd asked him to build a new Death Star all by himself. Sheesh!"

Luke glanced at his father who was already positioned in the rear of the gondola.

"Now, how do we drive this thing?"

Cheesy looked thoughtfully at the gondola.

"You propel yourself." She flicked her wrist like a magician. "With this." She held out a long, dark rod to Vader.

"It's a stick." Vader noted with great disdain.

Cheesy, taking great offence on the part of the rod, hit Vader with the 'stick': Hard

"This," she gestured at the pole. "is a pole. Pole, P-O-L-E, POLE!"

Vader, having sufficiently recovered from being attacked by said pole, grabbed it out of Cheesy's hands.

"Thank you and good-bye!"

Having said his farewells, Vader swung the pole around and caught Cheesy behind the knees, causing her to fall to the ground cursing him and his 'stick' all the way down.

Vader gave the pole a push on the bank, they were off. Luke sat in front of Vader on a pile of soft blankets. However, as they began there journey into the underground labyrinth they began to notice something distinctly odd about their boat pole and the lake. It seemed as if music began to play as soon as the pole hit the water. Vader pulled the pole out of the water and looked at Luke. Luke looked at his father.

"You heard it too?"

Vader nodded his head, a slight twinge of unease coursing down his spine. Vader slowly lowered the pole into the water.

In sleep he sang to me

Vader pulled out the pole

Silence

He pushed it back into the water

In dreams he came

Out

Silence

In

That voice which calls to me

Out

Silence

In

And speaks my name

Out

"Son…"

"Yes father."

"I hate that woman."

The rest of the ride was found by Luke to be a new musical experience. His range of musical exposure reached from jizz in the cantina to Biggs trying to keep a beat with his wrench on some project they were working on. To Vader, it was torturous.

The song came to an end as the pair reached the opposite shore. They pulled the gondola up to a small dock and tied it tightly. They stepped off and viewed their surroundings. Their eyes met a stone wall. Vader sighed.

"That woman has a sick sense of humor."

Luke quietly agreed and sat down on a rock next to the wall. As he leaned back he nudged a small rock into an indentation barely visible in the wall.A small door slid open behind Luke. Vader turned just in time to see his son fall flat on his back, the secret entrance glaring menacingly behind him.

"You seem to have a talent for finding the hidden doors in this place."

Luke grumbled under his breath , trying to right himself back on the rock.

"Lucky me."

Luke glared at the entrance and then turned to look at his father.

"We're going in there, aren't we?"

Vader heaved a sigh of resignation.

"Do you think we have a choice?"

Luke rolled his eyes and got to his feet. He grinned at his father and motioned to the door.

"Age before beauty, father."

Vader stared at his son's grinning face and started for the door.

"Pearls before swine, son."

Luke continued to grin. Until he got it.

"Hey!" Luke exclaimed as he followed his father into the darkness.

The door slid shut behind them.

A/N:Well, I do believe that was my longest chapter so far! You Like? You Buy? You Review?