What the hell did I just do?

Saved my partner's life. And may have ended my own.

"Elliot. Hey, come on. Open those eyes." Her palm pressed into his gunshot wound, sending waves of pain through his body.

Jesus Christ, just let me die.

Despite the thought, his eyes opened slowly, and he stared up at her. Her eyes were watery; she looked like she was going to cry at any moment.

"Why the hell did you do that?" She asked softly.

"You're my partner." He said simply. His breathing was growing shallow and the part of his chest where the bullet hit was starting to numb. His eyes closed once more, the exhaustion and the cold setting in. He'd been shot his fair share of times, so he knew very well what happened after, but this phase was the deepest that he'd ever felt. Maybe he'd let himself go, he mused. It technically wouldn't be suicide, would it? He saved his partner, that would save him a spot in Heaven, right? Then he would at least get to see his daughters and wife again.

"I know what you're doing, Elliot." She said. "Come on, fight this. I know you can."

He could. Problem was, he really didn't want to. What was the point, anyway? What part of this miserable life was worth fighting for?

"Tell me something else about you."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, anything."

Elliot finished off his drink. "Alright. I like beer."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I think I already know that, Elliot."

"Hey, you said tell you something about me. You didn't say it had to be something you didn't already know."

Olivia nudged his shoulder, holding back the chuckle. "Come on. Seriously."

That was one moment of happiness. Hell, it wasn't even really happiness, was it? Just a moment of not being miserable. Who's to say it will ever happen again?

Olivia wants it to happen again.

Olivia will get sick of trying to help your sorry ass, and she'll leave you just like all of your other partners did.

"Elliot, listen to me." She leaned in close. "This doesn't have to be the end. Just keep fighting, please."

The pleading in her voice did something to him that he didn't think was possible. It made him think. Through the haze of pain and blood loss, he remembered the care she had displayed for him. He didn't realize this could have happened; he didn't think that anyone could ever make him want to live again. But that was precisely what she was doing, and he had no idea how.

"You know, you should try to live for yourself, too. Maybe then you'll actually want to live."

Elliot finally looked up at her. "Live for what? They were… everything. "

"I understand that; believe me, I do. But that's what I'm going to help you with. We can figure it out together, alright?"

Maybe… just maybe…

He groaned as Olivia pressed harder, trying her best to stop the blood. He heard sirens wailing, and knew that it was the bus, coming to try to save his life. The life that he didn't even want anymore… or so he thought. Now that he was laying on the ground, those thoughts, the thoughts of just letting himself go, the older thoughts of ending it himself, were coming into question. Did he really want this? Did he really want Olivia to witness this? He knew that she would blame herself if he did die; she would torture herself, going back and forth, thinking of every possible little thing that she could have done to prevent his death.

It wouldn't be her fault, though. There was nothing she could have done, I jumped in front of that bullet all on my own.

It wasn't her fault. It isn't her fault. Maybe… maybe it wasn't my fault, either.

Elliot's eyes snapped open, and he looked up at his partner.

"How old was your daughter, Maureen?" Olivia asked.

"She was ten. Kathleen was seven."

"What did they like to do?"

"We have to go."

"Elliot, let me ask you something. Over the short time that I've been working with you, have I given you any reason to believe I'd try to hurt you?"

"I guess not." Elliot said after a moment.

"Any reason to believe that my motives are any different than I've said?"

"No."

"Then please, just trust me."

He stared at her for a long moment. "Maureen loved to read. She was so smart, she… she was a straight-A student. Kathleen… she loved soccer. We used to play together all the time. Whenever I had a day off during the summer, we… we went to the park, we had picnics, we…"

"Elliot…" She whispered, resting her hand on his shoulder.

He turned towards her. His eyes were red and a tear tract ran down his face. "You really do care, don't you?"

She smiled at him, and nodded. "Yeah. I really do."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "No one should have to go through something like this alone. You're my partner; I'm supposed to have your back, aren't I?"

Elliot reached for her hand, and squeezed as hard as he could. "Liv… I'm not going anywhere."

"That's right, you're not." She said, a single tear slipping down her face. "Just hang on for another minute."

His mind was starting to grow hazy. He felt her squeeze his hand, heard her beg him not to give up yet, and then there were more bodies around him, tending it him, moving him carefully onto a stretcher. In the ambulance, she sat over him, talking to him. He couldn't hold on anymore. His eyes closed, and he knew no more.

Much later, he came back to reality. His eyes didn't open quite yet; he tried his best to reorient himself.

I was shot. I was shot… saving my partner. I almost died. I wanted to live. She was there, she was… talking to me.

Finally, his eyes opened slowly, and he looked around. He found himself in a hospital room, blanket tucked comfortably around him, machines beeping steadily. Captain Cragen sat beside him, looking quite exhausted as he stared straight ahead. As soon as the older man saw Elliot awake, though, his expression changed.

"Welcome back, Elliot. How are you feeling?"

"Alright." Elliot answered, wincing as pain shot through his chest. "How long was I out?"

"A few hours." Cragen said. He paused, staring at his detective for a moment. "Olivia told me what happened on that roof."

"Oh, did she?"

"Yup. How're you feeling about it?"

Elliot ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. "I, uh… I'm not sure. Where is my partner?"

"I sent her home to clean herself up. Almost had to pry her away from your bedside."

His heart softened slightly. "Oh, yeah?"

Cragen nodded. "She really cares about you, Elliot, and we all know that it's not because of your charming personality. Give her the benefit of the doubt, here."

"You know, I've been trying, Cap'n." The detective said, fingering the tube that connected to his I.V.

"How's that working out for you?"

Elliot shrugged. "Better than I thought, I guess."

A small smile formed on the captain's face. "Oh, really?"

He was answered with a nod. Knocking on the hospital door interrupted them, and Elliot glanced up. Olivia stood in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. "Hey. Good to see you awake."

"Good to be awake." He answered.

Cragen pat him on the shoulder. "I'd better get back to the station. I'll be in touch, Elliot."

Olivia sat down in the chair Cragen had previously occupied, and looked her partner over for a moment. "How are you feeling?" She asked gently.

"I'm okay." He said. "Listen, I, uh… I just wanted to say thank you. For saving my life."

"I think you got that wrong." She said. "You're the one that saved my life when you jumped in front of that bullet."

"Liv…"

There that nickname was again. She wasn't sure where it came from, if he had just blurted it out in a moment of weakness, pain and blood loss, or if it was genuine. Now she had her answer. To be honest, she liked it. She liked it a lot.

"It wasn't just about catching that bullet or trying to stop the blood."

Olivia nodded. "I thought so. But, at any rate, thank you for saving my life."

Elliot took a deep breath, heart pounding in his chest. He'd hadn't been this afraid in a long time; he found himself letting her in, and it was just absolutely terrifying. He had no idea what her plan was, or how long she was going to stick around, but the shooting had changed everything. He was growing attached to her, and there wasn't much he could do about it.

"Don't mention it."

A/N: Thanks for reading. Elliot/Olivia romance coming soon! Maybe even next chapter, if I get some good feedback... ;)