QUICK RECAP (or you could just read the last chapter)

"It was...I was, raped," the words shocked even Shannon, for whom it was the first time she had said it out loud.

All Lawson could feel was anger, intense hatred that he had never felt before in his life.

He sat up, untangling his hand from Shannon's and yelled louder than he intended,

"YOU WERE WHAT?"

"I'm sorry," she cried as she felt the warmth of his hand leave hers and the bubble that had surrounded them burst.

"I'm so sorry," she said again before jumping out of the bed knowing how angry Lawson was. She didn't want him to yell like he did in her nightmares. She ran outside the bedroom, feeling dirty all over again. Lawson hadn't followed her out, she felt like she'd lost everything and the familiar feeling of bile quickly rose through her throat. Running into the bathroom to throw up, Shannon felt numb. She turned Lawson's shower on and stepped in, still wearing Lawson's borrowed clothes she had worn to bed. Slowly sliding down the wall she put her hands around her knees and felt the hot water stream down her face, mixing with the tears she hadn't realised she was crying Shannon shut her eyes, wanting it to all be over.

Lawson had never been this angry in his life. He sat on the bed, his head spinning with unanswered questions. He wanted to find this person and kill them. He closed his eyes, cringing as he replayed what Shannon had told him over again in his head. He felt sick as he thought about someone else touching her, kissing her as she struggled to fight them off. He stood up and smashed the alarm clock into the wall behind the bed, angrily cursing. He wanted to smash everything in the room but as he went to pick up a book resting on the table, his eyes fell on a photo of him and Shannon. She was beaming happily at Lawson as he gave her a bear hug while they stood in front of the MCG after Hawthorn had narrowly beaten Collingwood in the last round of 2010.

Suddenly the only thing he could think of was Shannon.

"Shit," he mumbled as he put down the photo and went to find Shannon. He worried she might have left until he paced past the second bathroom and heard the running water of the shower. The door was half open and he knocked gently on the outside.

"Shannon," he said.

"Can I come in?"

When he heard nothing he spoke again.

"Shan,"

"Go away Lawson," he heard her say quietly.

"Not a chance in hell Shannon," he replied quickly.

He paused briefly, hearing the shower door slide open. He waited a few minutes, not sure if she was getting changed before speaking.

"I'm going to come in ok," uncertainty lacing his voice.

He pushed the door open surprised when he couldn't see Shannon. His eyes flickered towards the running water and he saw her curled up in the corner of the shower. Her elbows were resting on her knees, her head buried in her hands.

Slowly Lawson moved towards her before reaching to turn the taps off.

"Leave it running," Shannon said without looking at him. She wasn't crying, instead just blankly staring ahead like she was in a state of shock.

Lawson awkwardly stood in the door way waiting for Shannon to make the first move. Suddenly he noticed her shivering and felt the water, realising it had gone cold.

"Shannon," he said crouching down.

"The water is really cold and you have pneumonia..."

Shannon interrupted Lawson quickly,

"I don't care. Just leave it on, I feel disgusting,"

"Well I do care," he said as he turned the taps off.

"Pfft," Shannon scoffed disbelievingly.

Lawson felt like he had been kicked in the guts as he looked at Shannon, soaking wet and shivering where she sat on the shower floor. He didn't know what else to do besides sit down beside her.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"I'm sitting down," he said.

"I'd rather you not be sitting here when you break up with me. It would be easier if you just.."

"Sorry, but no one is breaking up with anyone," he said, shocked that Shannon would think he would end everything.

"It's fine Lawson," she said in a tone that told Lawson she thought it was anything but fine, but didn't want him to know.

"I needed to tell you so that you didn't think it was your fault. I love you and I want you to be happy and..."

"Shannon stop talking," Lawson interrupted.

"I love you too, and I am happy. Well not at this moment, I'm angry and pissed off. But you make me happy," he told her.

"I used to make you happy, now I'm damaged goods," she said.

"No Shannon, listen to me ok," Lawson said firmly and put his hand on Shannon's knee as she still avoided his eyes.

"You are not damaged goods and you most definitely are not disgusting," when Shannon didn't say anything he continued.

"Something disgusting happened to you but that isn't your fault. And we're not breaking up. You are stuck with me because I am not going anywhere,"

"So you're going to stay with me out of pity? I can't do that to you Lawson, it needs to end,"

"Shannon you aren't getting this. I am staying with you because I love you. I was never intending on breaking up with you and you telling me this isn't going to change that,"

For the first time since she had told him, Shannon looked into Lawson's eyes and could see a mixture of hurt, anger and love looking back at her.

"You're angry with me," she sighed and looked away.

"Shan, I'm angry at whoever hurt you. Furious that I wasn't there to protect and yeah, I'm hurt you didn't tell me earlier but I know why you didn't," he said as he put out his hand.

"What?" she said looking at his hand.

"I was shocked and angry when you told me and all I could think about was how pissed off I was. I let go of your hand but I promise you, I am not going anywhere. I want to marry you and have cynical, super fit, hardcore, adorable kids with you,"

"I hope that wasn't a proposal because it was shit. And I don't think I'm exactly mother material Lawson," Shannon replied almost smiling.

"Well I disagree but regardless, we have some more important things to talk about,"

Shannon sighed and grabbed Lawson's hand.

"You really aren't going anywhere?" she asked hesitantly.

He gently squeezed her hand and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"We are going to be fine Shan, ok? I'm here to stay,"

Lawson could tell she was still in shock and she had started to shiver again from the cold of the water.

"Shannon," Lawson said cautiously.

"I'm really worried that you're going to get sicker if we don't move,"

She didn't say anything but Lawson could tell she was exhausted. He stood up, still holding her hand.

"Come on Shan, let's go,"

"Can you just go and get me some clothes? Trackies or something so I can get changed," she said still not standing up.

"Um yeah ok," he said.

Lawson rummaged through the draws full of Shannon's clothes, attempting to find something warm and comfortable. He quickly grabbed a towel from the linen cupboard and walked back into the bathroom. Shannon had pulled herself out of the shower and was leaning against the bathroom basin.

"Thanks," she mumbled as Lawson handed her the clothes.

"I'll um...I'll let you get changed," he said as he walked slowly back to his bedroom. He started pacing around the room, analysing everything Shannon had said to him, attempting to start working out how he could track down the son of a bitch that had hurt her.

Shannon stood half dressed, looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. The bruises had almost completely faded although she could see the subtle outline of where the more severe ones remained. She felt a stinging pain on her back and realised that the bandages Tash had put on her back had half fallen off and a few of the cuts had again become irritated. Tash had told her they were infected and to make sure the bandages were kept dry and secure to stop more bacteria getting in, something she had totally forgotten since leaving the hospital.

"Shit," she said as attempted to reach around and peel the other half of the bandage off. She could see the inflamed injuries, the scars of where Frank had cut her back with a knife to keep her quiet. Even though her attack had been almost a month ago her scars still felt very raw.

She quickly realised she didn't have any bandages with her and there was no way she was going to be able to leave the already infected cuts un covered to get worse. She rummaged around Lawson's bathroom cabinets, knowing that he kept the first aid kit in the linen cupboard outside his room and another in the kitchen but hoping that maybe he had moved it.

"Argh," Shannon groaned in pain as she slowly peeled the rest of the bandage off.

"Crap," she said as she saw the full extent of the infected cut.

When Shannon hadn't come out of the bathroom for 15 minutes Lawson started to get worried. He walked down the hallway, stopping abruptly outside the bathroom door.

"Shannon, is everything ok?" he asked through the door.

"Um, yeah I'm fine," she responded, Lawson picking up on the quivering of her voice.

"Shannon," he said, warning in his voice.

"Lawson," she responded sarcastically.

"It's good to see that bout of pneumonia has done nothing to dampen your sarcastic wit," he said dryly.

"I try hard Lawson," she said as she pulled the rest of the second bandage off and let out an involuntary shout of pain.

"Shannon," Lawson said panicked and without thinking barged into the bathroom.

"Holy shit," was the first thing that came out of Lawson's mouth when he saw Shannon's inflamed back.

"Get out Lawson," Shannon yelled in his face, embarrassed that he saw her injuries.

"No, Shannon I told you, I'm not going anywhere. This is one occasion where it's not ok for you to not want my help," he told her as he recovered from the initial shock of her bruised and bloodied back.

"I want to talk about this," he said quietly.

Shannon felt extremely vulnerable standing in the bathroom with Lawson and could feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

"Well I don't" she snapped back.

He sighed, realising how hard things were going to be for them.

"Here," Lawson said passing her the top he'd gotten for her earlier.

"Put that on, come back to the bedroom and I'll get some bandages and I will help you fix this,"

Shannon gently reached out and grabbed the top from Lawson, attempting to put it on without screaming in pain. Lawson slowly guided her back to his room where she lay on the bed, her head buried in the pillow.

"Shan, why didn't you tell me your back was like this?"

"Because I didn't what you doing exactly what you are doing now," she mumbled.

"Which is what, being a supportive boyfriend?" he said, a little more indignantly than he had meant.

"No, looking at me like that," she responded.

"I knew the minute you saw this you would be completely repulsed and.."

She trailed off, her tiredness and the medication making things hazy and she suddenly found herself forgetting her train of thought.

"Shannon, you are injured ok? You need to make sure you don't make your injuries worse. And stop saying shit about yourself, it's not true,"

All Shannon could do was sigh and give in to Lawson. She knew he was being more supportive of her than she could ever have imagined yet still she felt a nagging insecurity tugging at her heart.

"I'm going to put new bandages on your back ok. Please tell me if I am hurting you," Lawson said softly as he sat on the other side of the bed.

Shannon mumbled something incoherent as she shut her eyes tightly and hugged the pillow. When she refused to say anything Lawson started talking and quickly found he couldn't stop. All he wanted to do was to get Shannon to understand what he was thinking.

"You know, something pretty bad happened to my girlfriend. But she doesn't really want to talk to me about it," he said.

"She is beautiful, talented, smart and bloody hardcore," he continued when he could see Shannon's eyes fighting to stay awake.

"And all I want to do is help her. Because I love her and I'm with her no matter what. And I don't think she gets that sometimes because she is really upset. But so am I. But I want to be upset and angry and hurting with her, not alone," he said as he was finishing the last of the bandages. He saw Shannon had drifted off to sleep and kissed her on the head before walking out. The minute Shannon wasn't there with him he wanted to smash something. He walked out to the garage where his boxing bag was swinging from the roof and threw a few punches at it. He didn't even bother to put on gloves before putting all his anger into hitting it as hard as he could.

After a while Lawson stopped punching, his brow covered in a layer of sweat. He looked down at his shaking hands where his knuckles were starting to bruise. He exhaled a long shaky breath and swore quietly. He wandered back into the house and changed into clean clothes before sitting in bed with Shannon. She was still asleep, albeit not peacefully but at least asleep. He lay down next to her feeling tiredness and worry wash over him at once. He felt an overwhelming need to be close to her so he gently grabbed her hand. Even though she was asleep she turned on her side and wrapped her other hand around his body.

As Lawson watched her stressed face, he pulled her closer and hugged her.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect you," he said sadly to her sleeping form before closing his eyes and attempting to sleep away the last 24 hours.

A/N

Hey guys, thought I would do two smaller updates this week because I felt like this chapter was too depressing to keep writing the next part. SO, I will update again on thursday arvo!

yay for lawson not being a prick right?

Hope you like this chapter, let me know what you think!

Thanks for all your nice reviews xx