... This took way too long. I'm a terrible updater, but I'm doing my best on every chapter I produce.
So much thanks to all my reviewers, every one of your messages brightens my day. Without further ado, here's probably the most emotional chapter I've ever written.
For the disclaimer, refer to any previous chapter.
Chapter 10: Getting frightened
Nero dared not think about the future yet, and certainly not about the past. For now, all he wanted was to savour the feeling of his stomach filling up with the delicious omelette, and the warm air in the room, so unlike the humid cool that hung in the depths of the 'home' he had now abandoned. The activity around him wasn't tense and harsh, it were just people eating in silence. He knew they were looking at him between bites, and he knew that they had questions, just like he could think of many.
What will they say? What will happen to me now? What are their plans for me, if they have any, will they keep me close to keep an eye on me, or will they leave me somewhere to figure it out myself? What of Shelke, what do I tell her, what will she think, what will she do, what will she want, she'll hurt me, she'll be angry, STOP.
No further. It's no use trying to come up with every possible scenario. This is out of my hands.
Deliberately Nero cut his thoughts short. He could feel Vincent looking sharply at him, alarmed by his sudden rigidness. The ex-Zviet didn't look back at him, but kept his gaze downcast onto his now almost empty plate. He emptied his mind along with it, and then sat still, awaiting what would come next.
His surroundings and the people in the scenery were slowly drifting away from him as they, too finished their breakfast and put down their cutlery with soft clinking sounds. Nero shifted a little when he felt his broken leg was bothering him, and sank a little deeper into his chair. The shoulder joints of his metal wings dug into his back a little deeper, but the awkward thumping feeling of a cut-off bloodstream ebbed away. He no longer took notice of Vincent watching him, or Cid raising his brow as he was slowly dozing off.
Eventually, the captain could stand it no longer, and approached the man who had seemed to have settled with trying to take a nap on a damn wooden chair. He just wouldn't have Nero sleeping in the kitchen, because he might fall off and hurt himself, and because is was too fucking awkward.
"Hey…" Cid said, trying to sound a gentle as he could manage. He didn't really expect to get a reaction immediately, as he was already drawing a breath to say it again, more loudly this time, when Nero's eyes opened slowly and locked onto Cid's own.
"…Yes?" A silence fell, during which Cloud and Yuffie continued helping Shera clean up the table, and Vincent stepped away from his charge a little to give the pilot some room. Nero waited calmly, too tired to take initiative, but alert on whatever would come his way.
Even if he was a little taken aback by the way Nero had seemed to be sleeping, yet hadn't, Cid drove on.
"Hey, well, uh... If you're tired, go to bed. I'll take you there, okay?"
Nero's eyes widened a little in shocked surprise. He hadn't known what to expect, but this… They way this older scruffy man spoke to him, that mildly concerned tone…
".. Don't give me that look. It's really just… Gah! This is no place to sleep, haven't they taught you that in Deepground?" Cid exclaimed desperately.
Nero's expression had caught him off guard, too. Damn it, it wasn't as if he had offered make all of his troubles go away with the wave of a pixie stick, hadn't he. Then why was he looking so astonished? Was it really possible that this young man couldn't imagine that someone would feel sorry for him slouching precariously in that cheap piece of furniture, his exhausted body obviously craving for sleep?
At Cid's words, Nero only looked more miserable than he already had been, a little fearful and unbelieving. Now he was ashamed, too, and wondered if his reaction had angered the man. Also, he couldn't help squeezing out a hurt answer to Cid's rethorical question.
"… In Deepground, nobody cares where you sleep. Be it chained against a pillar, dead on the floor, or resting on a throne…"
Before he could keep himself in check, it had slipped out, in a bitter and angry tone, even if he didn't want to sound like he was mad with Cid for bringing it up at all. After all, the man was right, and he just wanted to be kind, it seemed. The memories had caught up with him this time, and won this round. Nero couldn't take his words back, no matter how much he wanted to. They had already made their impact, even if he had barely whispered them.
Cid gasped, Cloud turned his eyes towards the two of them, Vincent's alertness was drawn from anything else and focused onto the scene before him, only to be diverted again when Yuffie dropped a plate at the sudden tension in the room. The noise drowned both Cid and Nero's hasty, breathless apology, Cid for not being considerate in his choice of words and Nero for saying what he had.
"What?" Cloud asked to everyone in the room.
"Wha- …eeeh!! Oh damn!" Yuffie swooped down to do something about the mess she made, but failed at coming up with how to handle a shattered plate, and turned her head to watch Cid and Nero anxiously.
Shera did the same, but Vincent could only manage a look full of regret. Cid had hit an emotional spot which Nero apparently couldn't handle yet, and the situation looked like it would escalate any moment. Despite not harbouring any bad feelings towards the pilot, Nero's retort had sounded too venomous for anyone but Vincent to realise it hadn't been deliberate.
Almost everyone in the room had tensed up and stood rigid. Cid only raised his hand towards his face to grasp the cigarette he had lit after finishing his meal, but Nero flinched at the movement. For a split second, he was reminded of the Restrictor and his habit of violently 'slapping' him around, just like he did the other Zviets, and he began to panic.
Yes, Nero's memories had caught up with him, and he simply didn't have the strength of will anymore to ban them and think clearly. What Vincent had tried to avoid had happened, because of a simple misunderstanding. The fact that the man hadn't been able to override his emotions proved that Nero's trauma ran deeper into his soul than the gunman had imagined.
Cid dropped the cigarette.
Despite the pain it caused him, Nero now acted on a fight-or-flee instinct. In just a few seconds, he had been immersed in the horrifying visions from his past, seeing only them and losing track of the situation. He had never known he'd snap so quickly, he didn't understand why all of this suddenly became such a nightmare, let alone why his tormentors had used the images of these nice people to draw closer and catch him off guard.
"Get away from me!" Too close, that person is too close, I'll hurt him, he'll hurt me.
Cid backed away a little. Nero tensed, his teeth clenched, his eyes wide with fear. Little beads of sweat were forming on his face, cold with fright and contorted in an expression of terror. He had been leaning away from the pilot, but now, he hunched forward, and braced himself.
Suddenly, his wings flared into action and fluidly reached behind his back. Nero violently pushed himself up from the chair, and he stood. The piece of furniture clattered to the ground far behind him.
Nobody dared to move as confused Zviet breathed heavily as he tried to find his balance, while keeping a sharp distrusting eye on them all, his gaze flitting from one person to the next. His body swerved too far forward and he nearly toppled over, but somehow he managed to avoid falling by taking a step forward and using his wings to keep a hold of the tableside.
For a moment, he stood hunched over the table, panting, but when Yuffie made a move, he snapped up his head and made her stop dead in her tracks. The girl was close to tears by now. She didn't like seeing him like this, she hated it, and she wanted him to stop. He was hurting himself, and that pretty, somewhat innocent face she had uncovered earlier was now a mask of fear. Yuffie failed to understand why, but it HAD-TO-STOP.
Nero kept his hard stare fixed on her, not really seeing her, but a threat. His terrorised grin had intensified when the pain had begun coursing through his leg, but he didn't dare to give in. If he could run away, he would, but they were all around him, blocking any way out. His breathing had turned into soft anguished gasps, and the pressure on his leg was still building. He was using it as his main support now, but he was deathly afraid of shifting, lest he really lost his balance this time.
The deadlock remained, and even Vincent was at loss. Without his guns or not, the man's wings were a formidable weapon, and even if his darn aura miraculously hadn't made an appearance yet, he could still lash out any time.
"Stop it, Nero!" Cloud shouted. Nero's eyes darted to him. "Please, Nero, you have to ca-"
"Shut up!!" Nero interrupted him, his voice high-pitched. He squeezed his eyes shut now, trying to block it all out.
"Shut up, just be quiet, please, be quiet, get away from me, I…" his rambling died down to a terrified murmur. Eventually, he only managed to utter a last few fluttery breaths before his legs gave away under him. Gravity tugged him down instantly.
"God no!" Yuffie whispered. Mad with concern and pity by now, she didn't hesitate any longer, and dashed towards him.
When Nero came down on the floor, his injured leg twisted beneath him, he cried out, and instinctively shifted his wings around to get his weight off it. Something was in the way, however. Yuffie knelt down next to him, tears streaming out of her eyes as she cried for him and told him to stop.
He heard nothing of her pleas, but backed away from her, only worsening the pain in his broken limb. The kunoichi was panicking now, too, and in her helplessness, she grabbed his shoulders to emphasize what she was yelling at him. Unintentionally, she only added to his pain when she roughly jerked his upper arm that had been crushed. The Zviet groaned painfully, and again tried to push her away with his wing, but she didn't move out of the way, and he only managed to force himself to lay down, as far away from her as possible.
"Don't touch me!" he yelled. "Don't touch me…" whispering now, Nero still weakly tried to get more distance between him and the ninja with the other wing, but Yuffie calmed down now, snapped out of her panic and soothed by the exhausted whimpering he was producing.
"Ssshhhh… it's okay… It's okay…." She cooed as she slowly crawled past his hip and positioned herself closer to his torso, not caring that the blades of his wing had cut her. All around the two of them, Cloud, Cid and Shera had silently edged forward to see what was happening, and to offer assistance if Nero would attempt to do her real harm.
"Sshhhhh… I won't hurt you, nobody wants to hurt you." As carefully as possible, she slowly heaved his upper body onto her knees and held him gently. Nero barely seemed aware of it, his orange eyes clouded over and staring wide-eyed into space, but his breathing became a little steadier. Gradually, Yuffie managed to coax him into listening to her voice, and after minutes, his eyelids dropped a little closer, and he relaxed his body a little. When he let go of this tension, however, he winced and inhaled sharply through his teeth when once again, his body weight was on his leg.
Yuffie held him up tighter, and beckoned Cid and Cloud.
"I think it's okay now… please try to get his legs from under him, if you could." she asked quietly.
The two men cast each other a look, and then knelt down to do as she wanted. Shera attracted Yuffie's attention now.
"Is there anything I could get you?" she questioned silently, afraid to break the moment. The kunoichi nodded.
"A glass of water, maybe? And a cool towel, if that's possible…" The woman nodded and went to the kitchen to get those things. As she was on her way, she was startled for a moment when a relatively loud 'Ah!' resounded in the room, but she quickly continued. Cloud and Cid had managed to untangle Nero's lower body, who now laid down outstretched, his torso and head held up gently by the young woman.
Sweat still had his dark hair matted to his face and neck, his eyes were scrunched close and his jaw was trembling, as if his teeth were about to start chattering. His chest heaved up and down, but he seemed to restrain this movement, as it would jar his arms that were still bound. Without a second thought upon noticing this, Yuffie loosened the restraints to give him some room to breathe.
When he felt the wrappings loosen, Nero pried his eyes open, and recognised the ninja. Yuffie reached over to his face to push a few of his bangs aside, but when that made him flinch again and close his eyes, she resumed her soothing mantra.
"Hey… Nero, it's okay… no one will hurt you, not anymore. Everything will be fine…." She brushed his hair aside and withdrew her hand. He looked at her again, his eyes shining feverishly in his pale face.
At that moment, Shera came back from the kitchen, and handed Yuffie the damp cloth she had brought, and hung onto the glass of water for a moment. "Here you go."
"Thanks, Shera. Cid's lucky to have someone like you…" Yuffie said when she took the towel, and then focused on Nero again. After a few very deep gulps of air after loosening him up, he had now fallen back to a shallow, slow breathing rhythm.
When the ninja touched Nero's sweaty forehead with the cloth, he flinched somewhat, but he didn't open his eyes again. Carefully, she wiped his face and neck, and then placed the cool towel directly on his closed eyelids. A shudder ran through his body, and a n unsteady sigh escaped his lips. Now, even his wings relaxed visibly. Even if they all had just eaten, he just didn't have the willpower anymore to move them.
"Better?" Yuffie finally asked quietly. Nero took the time to let it sink in, and finally groaned a shaky, equally quiet 'hmhm'. In the silence that followed, Cloud and Cid turned towards Vincent, but before they could start speaking, Nero still had something to say.
"I'm sorry…" he whispered hoarsely. "I'm so sorry…" a wrecking sob started building up inside him, and if Yuffie hadn't placed the cloth on his eyes, this would have been the moment tears started leaking down his cheeks.
When neither of the other three men in the room seemed capable of retorting to that, Yuffie hunched over Nero and held him even closer. The broken Zviet silently cried into her embrace, unable to return it. He wanted to hold her the way he had held his brother right before he died, he wanted to thank her for her kindness so badly, but all he could do was mourn what he had lost and fear what still had to come.
His sobs were muffled by Yuffie's arms and body, but the sorrow and pain in them was almost too much for her to bear. She had to keep herself with all her might from crying with him, for him.
"You never told us it was that bad." Cloud addressed Vincent discreetly, with a twinge of annoyance.
"I never imagined it was. He must have been through more than any of us can imagine. Even you, Cloud." Vincent answered, referring to the mercenary's own haunted past.
"But you said you knew him well enough to guarantee he wouldn't harm anyone." Cid piped up.
"He hasn't, has he? I never claimed I knew his whole life's story… I know what I learned from him, the Zviets and the other Deepground Soldiers in battle, and I figured he would have a burden on his soul he'd carry for a long time, if not forever…" Vincent replied to this. Yuffie looked up at him.
"We should let him talk about it, if he wants to… I heard it's good to talk about your problems. If he bottles it up like this, he'll harm himself more than he will anyone else." she said matter-of-factly, yet kept her whispered tone, with a hint of a constrained squeak from the lump in her throat. Nero rested lightly in her hold, his breathing almost back to normal, only disturbed every few seconds by the remnant of a sob.
Vincent nodded, and Cid and Cloud showed their approval a moment later. "IF he wants to." Cid added.
"I.. I will tell you, if you… need to hear…" Nero moved inside the ninja's embrace, and she loosened her hold on him, so he could see.
"If that's what I need to do, I will…" his voice trailed into a shaky sigh.
"No, no.." Yuffie said to him softly, " not because we want to hear… Tell us if you want us to know, if you want to tell somebody what has happened to you. We're here to listen, okay?" She smiled kindly, squeezing a few tears out of the corners of her eyes. Nero saw them. "Don't cry…" he whispered, a little helpless. " I don't want to make you feel sad. Sadness is something I have, not something you should have…"
"Ah" Yuffie uttered, and wiped the tears away with her knuckles. "That's not true. And besides, these aren't sad tears, they're happy tears." Nero looked at her tiredly, with an unmistakably questioning look in his half-closed eyes.
"I'm happy now because you're not hurting yourself any more. And because you let me help you. Before, I was sad, and scared, yes. But not anymore now." she told him.
"… you were scared?" Nero asked sadly. In his mind, he imagined what had happened during the time he had been hallucinating. Had he threatened to hurt her? Had he looked frightening, had he played with her mind to make her terrified?
"I was scared for you, not myself." Yuffie casually answered. Nero's mind fell silent. Even if he was still unable to grasp that idea, being afraid for someone, someone being worried about him, he felt the implications, and once again he filled up with regret for what he had done and gratitude, such gratitude, for what she was doing to him.
"Well, shall we maybe.. relocate to a more comfortable place? If you think we can move you, of course, Nero?" Shera asked him, cutting to the next, more important subject.
"Uh…"
"Yes, that's a plan!" Cid answered for him. "Can ya take it?" he asked Nero, too. The Zviet nodded, baffled by the sudden change in pace, too overwhelmed by the question for the moment to think about the implications of 'telling your life's story'.
During the few minutes it took to pick Nero up from the floor and bring him to the circle of sofas and cushioned chairs that had been installed in the 'cockpit', right on top of the Tiny Bronco logo, his mind was a jumble.
One moment he was lying on the floor, held by this young woman he owed so much to, the next he was being handled not too roughly by five hands and a claw to get him up and carry him directly to the destination. Shera retreated back into the kitchen to get something to drink and eat ready.
Yuffie hurriedly hobbled behind the bundle of men navigating through the hallways, with the glass of water in her hand. When she managed to take a peek over Cloud's shoulder, by jumping up a little, she caught a glance of Nero's deadpan expression, amazed at the speed at which things were happening and barely able to keep track. In between doing his best to keep his wings and limbs out of harms way, and keeping everyone else out of his wings' way, he caught the looks Yuffie was shooting him every few seconds as she bobbed upwards occasionally.
The young ninja showed him her brightest, most reassuring smile she managed, and added a grinning thumbs up. Nero blushed at the attention and care he was getting from her, but he had to withdraw his gaze on her when one of his mechanical hands nearly got stuck between Cloud and a wall.
When the hitchhiked ride was over, and Cloud and Cid had put him down to sit on one of the sofa's, he was left quite dazed. The pair of them had even asked if they could tie up his restraint again, and Nero had asked them to do so.
Lying down it was easier for him to have them free, but sitting up required him to tense his shoulders to hold them up too much. As they had been set in a cast, he also couldn't stretch them out like he usually did. He thanked them for helping him out, and both Cid and Cloud shrugged his thanks off with a 'no prob'.
Then, they too sat down. Vincent and Yuffie had already settled, the ninja -not surprisingly- next to Nero.
A bit of a silence came over the group again, and after Shera had come in with a tray of tea and biscuits and whatnot she could come up with, Nero knew what he was expected to do.
He cast a last thorough look at them all, and began his 'story'.
The only story he knew.
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R&R please, don't give up on me (yet) XD
ps: this won't be a Nero X Yuffie, honestly. She's just the only one capable of calming him down right now, and he trusts her.