Sending special thoughts and prayers for the people in France.

Chapter 10

Brittany and Cole were spending the afternoon in her bed watching one of his favorite movies Toy Story. Cole had slept until around 10 and then Brittany gave him a sponge bath and dressed him in his pajamas with rocket ships on them. He said he wasn't hungry but in the end managed to eat two slices of toast with peanut butter on them and a glass of apple juice. He kept complaining his head hurt so Brittany made sure he was putting ice on it plus she had given him pain reliever every six hours as directed.

Brittany had piled all of the pillows up in front of the headboard and they both were lying on their backs against them so they were propped up watching the movie. Cole had been giggling at his favorite funny parts of the movie which was a huge relief to Brittany. Cole's giggle was one of Brittany's favorite sounds in the world.

"I wish Santana was here. I bet she would love this movie too. Mom, do you think Santana has seen Toy Story?"

"I don't know sweetie. You'll have to ask her the next time you see her."

"I don't understand why she had to leave just because someone was having a baby?" Cole said with a pout on his face.

Brittany had tried to explain to Cole the reason why Santana had to leave before he woke up but he was still kind of sleepy when she explained to him early so she thought she'd try to explain again. Brittany picked up the remote and paused the movie.

Brittany turned to lie on her side so she was facing Cole. "Do you remember the lady who was with Santana the day we saw her at the store?" Cole slightly nodded his head yes so it didn't cause him too much pain. "Her name is Jillian and she is married to Santana's brother Armando. The day we saw them in the store they were buying clothes for the baby Jillian and Armando are having."

"Her belly was really big. That's where the baby is right? I've seen pictures of you when I was in your belly. Your belly was bigger." Cole playfully patted Brittany's belly.

Brittany smiled at Cole, "That's right. We'll today it's time for the baby to be born so it's no longer in Jillian's belly and that's why Santana had to leave. She wanted to be there to see the baby when he or she is born."

Cole didn't say anything but Brittany knew by the look on his face he was thinking. "How does the baby get out of her tummy?"

Brittany knew this was question was coming but she has no idea how to answer it, "Armando took Jillian to the hospital so a doctor can take the baby out of her belly." Brittany hoped that would be enough of an explanation to satisfy Cole's curiosity for right now at least.

"Then her belly won't be big no more right?" Cole had serious look on face as he asked the question like he was trying to figure everything out.

"That's right her belly won't big anymore when the doctor takes the baby out of it." Brittany didn't feel the need to go into how new mother's still have extra weight after the baby is born.

"Can we watch the rest of the movie now?" Cole asked because he was done talking about babies.

"Of course we can sweetie." Brittany un-paused the movie and turned so she was once again lying on her back thankful that Cole didn't have any more questions.

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Brittany was startled awake when she thought she heard a knocking sound. It took her a few seconds to figure out where she was and if the knocking was real or just part of a dream. She sat up and realized she was on the couch in the living room and that she must have fallen asleep. Then she remembered getting Cole ready for bed and once he had fallen asleep in her bed she decided to sit on the couch in the living room and watch TV for awhile before going to bed herself. The knocking sound must have been one of those times when you're sleeping and think you hear something but you don't really hear anything. Brittany checked her cell phone to see if she had missed a text or call from Santana but there was nothing and she was worried. She noticed the time it was almost 9 o'clock at night so she had been asleep for about an hour.

Brittany suddenly jumped when she heard someone knocking on the apartment door. So she hadn't dreamt hearing the knocking sound. Brittany quickly got up from the couch to check to see who was knocking on the door. It was rare for anyone to knock on her door without her being notified first since the person at the front desk always called to tell her someone was there to see them and didn't let the person come to the apartment without Brittany's permission. Her neighbors from the apartment down the hall had knocked on her door a couple of times because some of her mail had gotten mixed in with theirs but other than that the neighbors don't bother her.

Brittany knew the door was locked because it automatically locks when it's shut still she was bit nervous as she looked through the peep hole to see who it was knocking on the door. She immediately let out a sigh of relief when she saw who was standing on the other side of the door. Brittany unlocked the door and opened it to reveal a tired looking Santana. Brittany moved to the side so Santana could come into the apartment. Neither woman said a word.

"I'm sorry to stop by so late without calling. I hope it's ok I used your garage security card to park my jeep." Santana said as she stood just inside the door. She was wearing black sweat pants, a white V neck t-shirt, and black leather high top sneakers with the laces untied. She was carrying her purse and holding her cell phone in her hand. Her hair was damp like she had just taken a shower.

"Of course it's ok for you to use the garage security card. Let's go sit on the couch." Brittany and Santana walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Brittany turned off the TV and turned to face Santana. Santana placed her purse and cell phone on the coffee table then kicked off her sneakers and turned to face Brittany with her legs criss-crossed.

"How's Cole?" Her concern for Cole was evident in Santana's tone of voice.

"He's doing better. He's still in some pain but he seemed to have a good appetite although at first he said he wasn't hungry. We stayed in my bed all day, watched movies, and took naps. He missed you when he got up this morning." Brittany said shyly because she still was feeling nervous about calling Santana, Gracie.

"I'm sorry I had to leave before he woke up. I'm glad to hear he's doing better. By the way Jillian had a baby girl around 6 o'clock tonight. She weighed 6 pounds so she's tiny but she's healthy. She's breathing fine on her own but will probably stay in the hospital for a couple of days since she was born early. Jillian is doing fine and Armando is the happiest I've ever seen him." Santana smiled as she spoke about her new niece.

"Congratulations first time Aunt Santana. I'm so happy to hear she's healthy and everyone is doing well. What is her name?"

"Ella Rose Lopez. This actually isn't my first time being an aunt. Our older brother Joaquin and his wife Nikki have three year old twins named Daniel and Maya."

"Ella Rose is a beautiful name. I don't think I knew you and Armando had an older brother." Brittany noticed Santana wouldn't look her in the eyes and then look down at her lap.

"We haven't really talked about each other families. I met your parents at the airport that day but other than that I don't know anything about your family. We have plenty of time to learn about each other's families." Santana said and then shivered rubbing her arms to create some warmth.

Brittany noticed Santana shiver. "Are you cold?"

"Yeah a little bit. When I left the hospital I went home and took a shower and washed my hair. I was going to go to bed and then call you but I what I really wanted was to see you and Cole." Santana said the last part in a shy voice.

Brittany got up from the couch and took a small quilt out of the trunk that was located behind the couch. She sat back down on the couch and placed the quilt around Santana's shoulders. Santana pulled the quilt tight around her so her upper body was completely covered and within seconds felt the warmth going through her body. Brittany rubbed her hands up and down the quilt where it covered shoulders hoping to quickly warm her up. "Would you like a cup of hot tea or some hot chocolate?"

Santana felt a warm feeling inside that had nothing to do with the quilt and everything to do with the caring way Brittany was acting towards her. Santana had never anyone in her life that took care of her like this except for her parents of course.

"Some hot chocolate sounds good if it isn't too much trouble."

"It's not too much trouble at all. I love hot chocolate and have it quite often before going to bed even in the summer time. You know you shouldn't go out in the chilly night air with damp hair like that. This time of year the days are warm but the nights get chilly." Brittany was clearly showing her concern.

"Yeah, yeah I know MOM." Santana said joking but turned serious quickly. "Um…can we talk for a few minutes before we have our hot chocolate?"

"Sure", Brittany swallowed hard worried because of the serious look on Santana's face.

"I want to talk some more about you calling me Gracie. A part of me is telling myself not to make a big deal about it because you were half asleep and exhausted from the trauma of Cole getting injured. My kissing you on the forehead probably triggered some memory of Gracie so it happened innocently. But there is also a part of me that can't help but be worried about it. I don't think I would worry if I didn't look like Gracie. I know you told me that when you look at me you don't see Gracie that you see only me, and I believe you. However, sometimes our minds play tricks on us and how we think we feel isn't really how we feel at all. I'm sorry I'm not even making sense." Santana moved her arm free from the quilt and ran it through her hair in frustration before putting it back under the quilt.

"No, I think understand what you are trying to say. You're worried subconsciously I do see Gracie when I look at you even though consciously I don't think I do."

"Yeah that's another way of saying what I what I was trying to say." Santana was glad Brittany understood her.

Brittany didn't give Santana a chance to say anything else. "I understand your concerns. I was upset with myself when I realized I had called you Gracie. I tried all day to figure out why that happened and the only reason I could come up with is that Gracie was the last woman to kiss me and tell me goodnight. We were together for over five years. I think like you said that you kissing me on the forehead and telling me good night triggered some innocent memory of Gracie. (Brittany reached under the quilt and took Santana's hands in hers) Santana, if I had any doubt at all about me being ready to move on with my life I wouldn't have told you how I feel about you. But if you are so concerned I might be somehow confused in my mind about you looking like Gracie I'll understand if you think it's best to walk away." Brittany tried her best to keep her emotions in check but her voice cracked when saying the last few words.

Santana immediately squeezed Brittany's hands and moved closer to her, "I don't want to walk away from you. I spent two years doing that and I don't ever want to do that again. I just wanted you to know how I was feeling about you calling me Gracie. I don't want you, Cole, or me to end up getting hurt in any way. I don't want any of else to end up with a broken heart and I think the best way to prevent that is for us to be honest with each other all of the time. This morning before I left I told you that Gracie should never disappear from your or Cole's lives just because she's no longer here. She was huge part of your life and she was Cole's mother. I meant every word of that. My grandfather, my mother's father, died when I was only ten years. He and I were very close. When I was thirteen, my grandmother married a man who my grandparents knew through church. He had never been married before. I didn't take it very well because I thought this new man was trying to replace my grandfather. One day my grandmother and her new husband sat down with me and had a talk. They both told me no one was ever going to replace my grandfather and that he would always be a part of my life. My grandmother is still married to Frank. I never could call me abuelo, which is grandfather in Spanish, and it never bothered him or my grandmother. They both made sure my abuelo was still a part of my life by talking about him, looking at pictures of him, and sharing memories of him. You and Cole need to do the same with Gracie."

Brittany had tears in her eyes, "I want Cole to know all about Gracie and what a wonderful person she was since he doesn't have any real memories of her. For the past two years, I spent a lot of time telling him about her and showing him videos and pictures of the two of them together. He understands who Gracie was and he knows she's in heaven now. I haven't told him yet how she died. I will do that someday when he's older. I agree she should always be a part of his life. Gracie will always be my first love but I need to move on with my life and I know that she would want me to be happy."

"I want to be the one who makes you happy." Santana said softly as she and Brittany gazed into each other's eyes.

"I want you to be that person too. You already make me happier than I've been in long time. I want to make you happy too." Brittany leaned in and kissed Santana on the lips softly and gently. Santana kissed her back in the same way.

When the kiss was over they pulled away but leaned their foreheads together, "You make me happier than I've ever been in my life." Santana said softly. The two shared another kiss before they were interrupted, "Mommy! I'm thirsty." Cole's voice was heard over the baby monitor that Brittany had gotten out of storage just in case he needed her when she wasn't in her bedroom with him.

Santana and Brittany laughed as their kiss ended. Brittany reached up and stroked Santana's hair as she looked into her eyes. Santana's hair was so soft like silk although it was still damp. "I love your hair."

"Speaking of hair, I was thinking of maybe dying my hair blonde for a different look."

Brittany was confused as to why Santana would be thinking about dying her beautiful dark hair blonde then a thought hit her, "You wouldn't be thinking about dying your hair blonde so you wouldn't look so much like Gracie would you?"

Santana shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe, I don't know." Santana knew Brittany had seen right through the reason behind her idea.

"I personally think you would look very sexy with blonde hair but I don't want you dying your hair just because you're worried about me seeing Gracie when I look at you. Santana Lopez, you are unique and there's only one of you, when I look at you it's your beautiful face, your soft dark hair, and your brown eyes I see. I really only see you and no one else."

Santana felt any doubts she still had starting to crumble with Brittany's words. Brittany really did see just her when she looked at her. "On second thought I think for the time being one sexy blonde in this relationship is enough." Santana said and winked at Brittany.

"Mommy! I can't reach my sippy cup." Cole yelled once again.

"You go see Cole and I'll go to the kitchen to make all three of us some hot chocolate. His sippy cup is on the nightstand." Brittany and Santana got up from the couch and went their separate ways.

Santana stopped when she got to Brittany's bedroom door which was wide open. "Hey, who's making all of the noise in here?!" Santana asked as she stood in the doorway with the quilt still wrapped around her upper body.

"Santana!" Cole shouted as he sat up in bed. "You came back!"

Santana walked into the room and sat on the bed by the nightstand where Cole's sippy cup was sitting. "Of course I came back. I'm sorry I left this morning before you woke up." Santana handed Cole his sippy cup and he took a drink and handed it back to her so she sat back on the nightstand.

"Mom told me why you left. Your brother was having a baby."

Santana smiled at Cole, "That's right it was time for my brother, Armando, and his wife, Jillian, to have their baby. You met Jillian the day I saw you and your mom at the store."

"My mom told me all of that. Her belly was big that day. Her belly should be smaller cause the doctor took the baby out."

Santana was getting a bit flustered she had never had a conversation with a 4 year old about babies, "Her belly is smaller. The baby is a girl named Ella Rose. Do you want to see a picture of her?"

"I'd love to see a picture of her", Brittany said as she walked into the bedroom carrying a tray with three mugs of hot chocolate on it.

"HOT CHOCOLATE!" Cole shouted.

"Yes, we are having a special treat tonight because Santana is cold. She took a shower at home and then came over here to see us with wet hair."

Cole looked at Santana while shaking his head, "That's a no-no. You never, ever, ever go outdoors with a wet hair cause you can get a cold. Unless it's summer time and you are in the pool or at the ocean then it's ok to have wet hair outside. Sometimes Mom takes a shower before she leaves the dance studio and her hair is wet but only when it's warm."

Brittany couldn't stop from giggling at Cole's comments, "Anyway this hot chocolate will warm her up along with being wrapped up in Grandma Pierce's quilt."

Cole carefully took the small mug of hot chocolate his mother handed him and took a sip. "Awe, that hits the spot."

Brittany handed Santana her mug before taking a mug for herself. The three drank their hot chocolate in silence for a several seconds. Santana had to admit the hot chocolate was just what she needed to get warmed up.

"Santana, have you ever had a baby in your belly?" Cole asked innocently.

Santana choked on the hot chocolate that she had just started to swallow when hearing Cole's question. Brittany quickly reached around Cole who was sitting on the bed between them and started gently rubbing Santana's back while she choked. "You ok Santana?" Santana cleared her throat and nodded her head yes.

Cole didn't realize it was his question that caused Santana to choke. "Don't worry Santana sometimes I drink too quickly and choke too. Mom had a baby in her belly once. Guess who it was?"

Santana played along with Cole, "Who?"

"It was me!" Cole said with a big smile on his face. "I've seen pictures of my mom's belly when I was in there. Her belly got bigger when I got bigger. You didn't answer my question have you ever had a baby in your belly?"

Santana looked at Brittany who gave her a reassuring nod to go ahead and answer the question. "No, I've never had a baby in my belly."

"Do you want to have a baby in your belly?" Cole kept up asking questions.

"Yes some day." Santana answered the question honestly.

"If you want a baby in your belly go to the doctor and have him put one in your belly. Then when the baby gets bigger the doctor can take it back out. When you have a baby maybe it can be my brother or sister?"

Santana was really starting to panic now with all of Cole's questions. She once again looked at Brittany who was starting to get a big uncomfortable with Cole's questions as well. "Sweetie, you can't just ask Santana if she has baby if the baby can be your brother or sister. It doesn't work that way. You and I have talked about what makes a family."

"You told me a family can be two moms like you and my heaven mom. Sooo, when Santana has a baby you and her can be the moms and I can be the big brother." Cole's voice was full of excitement.

Brittany looked at Santana who suddenly had turned pale when Cole mentioned them being moms to her future baby. Brittany thought it was adorable but at the same time she understood Santana's reaction. Cole was unknowingly rushing Santana and Brittany's relationship along way too quickly. He had no idea how what he said was affecting them because as a four year old Cole's world was simple with none of the adult complications. At the same time a part of Brittany couldn't help but wonder what it would be like for the three of them to be a family with possibility of expanding the family to four.

Brittany shook all of those thoughts from her head, "Ok, Cole it's time for you to go back to sleep."

"Santana are you going to be here when I wake up?"

Santana looked at Brittany who nodded her head letting her know it was ok for her to stay overnight if she wanted to. "I'll be here in the morning when you wake up."

"YAY! Did you hear that mom Santana is staying again?"

"I did. Now you need to settle down and go back to sleep. Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?" Brittany asked Cole while she stroked his hair knowing it always made him sleepy. Cole nodded his head yes he wanted her stay.

"Night Cole", Santana said as she got of the bed.

"I'll be out in a few minutes." Brittany said quietly to Santana.

Santana walked to the living room and sat down on the couch letting out a deep breath. She had already been thinking about babies with Ella's birth and then Cole brought up her having a baby. She knew at 32 years old her she would need to have a baby within the next few years if she was going to have a baby at all. Deep down Santana really wanted to know what it was like to feel another life growing inside her and to then give to birth.

Santana had been so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice Brittany had walked into the living room until she felt her sit on the couch beside her. "I'm sorry Cole asked you so many questions about babies. His mind never stops working." Brittany was concerned how Cole's questions had affected Santana.

"It's ok. I can only imagine what's going on in that little mind of his." Santana laid her head on Brittany's shoulder because she was feeling suddenly very tired. She unwrapped the quilt from around her shoulders and placed it across both of their bodies.

Brittany put her arm around Santana's shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "You never showed us a picture of Ella can I see one?"

Without saying a word Santana reached picked up her phone from the coffee table and opened it up to the pictures from the hospital. She held up the phone so they both could see the pictures and slowly scrolled through them. The first few were of Ella with Armando and Jillian. Then there were pictures of another couple with Ella. "That's my mom and dad." Brittany noticed how Santana looked like her father while Armando looked more like their mother. "Joaquin and Nikki are coming to see the Ella tomorrow." The last few pictures were of Ella by herself. Brittany could see the Lopez in Ella and couldn't help but think if Santana had a baby the baby would look have that same Lopez look. Brittany knew she was getting way ahead of herself but she can't help but dream that someday the baby on Santana's phone will their baby.

Santana found herself getting emotional as she and Brittany scrolled through the pictures of Ella. She really did want to have baby. She could have a baby on her own but she would prefer to have a baby with a woman she loved and who would be the baby's mother too. Santana closed her eyes as a few silent tears fell down her face. They weren't sad tears they were tears for the happiness she hopes the future holds for her and Brittany.

A few minutes later Santana had fallen asleep and Brittany didn't want to wake her so she carefully moved them so they were both lying on the couch with the quilt covering them. Santana moved a few times but never woke up and once they were settled on the couch she snuggled up to Brittany who fell asleep a few minutes later.

TBC

Sorry for the amount of time between updates. I've still been having a few health problems that keep me from updating. It will all work out just taking it's time. I had always planned on including Santana thinking about dying her hair blonde in the story and had it written before Naya dyed her hair recently. Hope everyone is still enjoying the story. For those of you who have been asking me the next update for Unconditional Love is almost done. Thanks for reading and reviewing.