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Bella:

Edward still had the same old Volvo. It felt familiar, homey almost, even the speed was comforting.

Once we were on the road I asked, "So what has everyone been up to?"

"I'm not sure actually," he admitted sheepishly.

"What do you mean?" I asked turning towards him. I could feel my brow crease but couldn't do anything to smooth it out.

"Well, I haven't seen them in quite a while," he admitted. I was still puzzled and it must have shown on my face because he said, "Emmett came to South America and brought me back a year ago. I spent some time at home but mostly I stayed in my room. When I couldn't stand it anymore I went off on my own again, but I didn't go as far away this time. I just could not be that close to you and not see you so then I came here. I knew that I couldn't actually see you but I needed to know that you were ok."

"How long have you been here?" I asked in shock.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked looking into my eyes.

"Yes," I said.

"Six months last Tuesday," he said.

"That long?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied.

"But I didn't start feeling you watching me until right before Christmas break," I stated trying to understand.

"That's because I didn't actually watch you until then," he said very quietly.

"What do you mean?" I asked very confused.

"I was around but I couldn't let myself see you. I was so scared that I would not be able to stay away from you if I saw you. I listened for you, but could not get close enough to actually see you," he said staring determinedly at the road. He had said it all so fast that I almost missed what he said. I had forgotten that he did that some times when he was stressed or nervous.

"What changed?" I asked reaching for his hand.

He took my hand and held it tightly.

"You didn't go home for Christmas break," he said sadly.

"I went home for Christmas," I said defiantly.

"Yes, for the actually holiday but you didn't go home for break. I needed to see you. I needed to understand why," he said.

"Did that help?" I asked.

"No," he grinned ruefully at that. "You are still a mystery to me, Isabella."

"You understand me better than anyone else," I pointed out.

"That may be, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't know what goes on in your head," he said.

"I have a theory about that by the way," I said.

"Really? Care to share?" he asked.

"Sure. I think it is because half the time I don't understand what it is that I am thinking until a fully formed idea pops into my head. It is like my thoughts come in epiphanies and not much more. The rest of my thoughts are just there but they don't make much sense until suddenly they do," I explained. "Does that make any sense at all?" I asked.

"Yes, it does actually," he said.

"Good, because I was scared that I might have just confused you," I said with a smirk.

"I love you Isabella Swan," Edward said in response.

"And I love you, Edward Cullen," I said.

"But seriously Bella, why didn't you go home for break?" he asked glancing at my face.

I'm not sure what he saw but he continued looking at me for a while until I cleared by throat and glanced pointedly at the road. He sighed and rolled his eyes but turned back to the road none the less.

"Thank you," I said.

"You still need to answer," he pointed out.

"I know," I replied. I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I'm not really sure why I didn't go home for longer. I just didn't want to be in Forks long. Charlie got remarried last year so he isn't alone now and I honestly didn't want to run into anyone from La Push," there was no reason to say a name, we both knew who it was that I most wanted to avoid.

"Ah yes," he said wryly.

"Yeah, so I just thought that it was best to stay here," I finished.

"I see," he said looking at the road resolutely. I know that he was no where near fine with the Jacob situation. He thought me reckless I am sure for associating with werewolves, much less dating one, and I know that it hurt him when I admitted that I had loved said werewolf. I wondered how the pack would react if they found out that Edward and I were back in town and I was especially worried about what would happen when they found out that we were back together. It was not going to be pleasant to say the least. And then there was Charlie. I honestly did not even want to think about that, but I was going to have to deal with it sooner or later. I had just honestly hoped that it would be later… much later.

"What are you thinking about over there that has a frown on your beautiful face?" Edward asked. I had no idea that he was looking at me but I guess I should not have been surprised and by the calculating look on his own face I can only assume that he had been watching me for a while.

"Nothing of importance," I lied attempting a bright smile. He wasn't fooled.

"You know that I do not believe you so you might as well just tell me," he stated turning back to the road.

"Dang, I was hoping that my acting had improved just a little," I said with a small smirk.

"It has actually, but that doesn't mean that I can't still read your eyes," he said.

"Stupid eyes," I muttered.

"Don't you ever say that Bella, I love your eyes and would not trade them for anything," he said.

"Yeah right," I replied rolling said eyes.

"You can not believe me all you want to but it doesn't change the fact that it is true. I was captivated by your eyes the first time I saw you. Their depth pulled me in and never released me," he stated. "However, back to the point before your eyes nearly distracted me, what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that it is not going to be pretty if we run into any of the pack, or Charlie for that matter," I said quickly. Better to rip the Band-aid off quickly.

I saw him wince and pain shoot across his face briefly before it was perfectly smooth again.

"Yes, that will be a problem. I have a feeling that neither of the mentioned will be pleased by my presence in both Forks and in your life," he said.

"But that doesn't matter," I said.

"And why is that?" he asked with skepticism.

"Because I want you here in my life and you want to be here so that is all that matters and all that is important. Our lives are not their concern," I said.

"But your life is Charlie's concern," he corrected.

"To a certain degree, but I am not his primary focus anymore and that is how it should be. I love Charlie but I can not run my life as he thinks I should. I have to make the decisions that are right for me just as he has to make the ones that are best for him. I am an adult now and while I truly appreciate his love and protection, I do not rely on them," I said.

"And what about the… pack?" he asked pointedly.

"The pack will just have to deal with it. I know that your family's presence in Forks does concern them with the treaty and all but our relationship does not. Jacob is married and he should at least have some degree of understanding now that he as found his soul mate. Now whether or not he will be rational about it at all is another story. But I can imagine that their reactions will only be made worse by…" I trailed off, I couldn't find my voice to say what I meant.

"By what?" Edward asked.

When I didn't answer he looked over at me and realization flickered across his face.

"By Quill," he said and I nodded with tears in my eyes.

He squeezed my hand gently and let it go. I was surprised by the loss until he used that hand to wipe the tears from my face. "That is not your fault Bella," he said quietly.

"Isn't it?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"No," he stated firmly.

"Then whose is it, if it isn't mine?" I asked.

"That blame lies solely on me," he said turning back to the road but I could tell that he wasn't even seeing it.

"Edward," I said quietly and reached over to stroke his face but he pulled away.

"Edward, stop that. Look at me," I snapped.

"I thought you wanted me to watch the road," he said dryly.

"You and I both know that you are not seeing it right now so what difference does it make," I stated matter-of-factly.

He sighed and reluctantly looked at me.

"Edward, that is in no way your fault," I said.

"I beg to disagree," he said.

"You don't get to do that. You can not take the blame for that," I said much too loud for the enclosed space of the Volvo.

"Why do you blame yourself and not me?" he asked. "I am the one that left without ensuring that Victoria was not a threat!"

"But had it not been for me she would have never been stuck on vengeance in the first place," I said exasperatedly.

"Bella, I believe that we are going to have to agree to disagree on this," he stated calmly.

"Ad why is that?" I asked stubbornly.

"Because we are here," he said nodding out the window.

And there it was in all it's glory: The white house by the river that had once been more of a home to me than anywhere else in the world.