10 Ten Timelords leaping

Jack heard laughter and he knew he was going to lose his shit if the Doctor didn't calm down. This was too funny to remain calm no matter how hard he was trying and he said as calmly as he could, "Come on!"

"No…look at this one!"

Jack sighed and walked over to the mirror, staring at the wibbly-wobbly image from the distorted glass. "Does this make my arse look big?"

The Doctor slapped his shoulder, "Now you're getting it!"

"But I still don't get it" Ianto said softly, staring at one that had his forehead bulging .. .something he didn't like as he felt his forehead was large enough already. Sure Jack said it was kissable but he always said bullshit like that. Big. Like … bulbous.

"Well … it's a celebration right? Christmas!" the Doctor slapped his hands together and rubbed them like some weird little man "I figured a celebrations room was the way to go and Sexy was right on to me!"

"Christmas" Ianto repeated. "Snow, lights and good food. Presents and … what the hell is that?"

"Ah!"

The Doctor pranced over to the wooden cut out and threw an arm around it with glee "It's the Randolph thing."

"Rudolf" Jack corrected.

"It's a fucking cow!" Ianto corrected as well, his hands on his hips "Not even a Bull. Look at the udder!"

"Udder?" the Doctor blinked, "Udder what?"

"Tits" Jack pointed, "see?"

The Doctor looked down at the udder and frowned "So? I have tits too ….wait. Do I?"

Jack couldn't contain his mirth as the Doctor grabbed his chest and frowned, considering, "Yes. I think there are. Right?"

"Doctor" Ianto said calmly, "Why have boobs if you are loomed?"

"Don't be silly" the Doctor snorted with glee "Balance! Might topple back without ballasts!"

Jack chortled as he watched the two people he loved most in all the worlds face off, Ianto's eyebrow rising "Ballasts."

"Yes …. Quite a vessel, these bodies ya know. Takes skill to manoeuvre one!" the Doctor played with glee, also seeing what Jack did in the morbid looking young man. A fellow player.

"Doctor … wait. How did we start talking about tits?" Ianto queried, then snorted "Right. A cow with tits is a female cow. A Heifer. A male one is called a bull … no big tits."

"Ah" The Doctor eyeballed Ianto "So?"

"Reindeer for Christmas… not cows"

The doctor looked back at the cow "are you sure? It's got a bell on it's neck."

Jack choked quietly as Ianto did the cheek sucking thing that always warned Owen to stop. The Doctor knew not of such warnings and pushed more "you know … reindeer tastes similar."

"Excuse me?" Ianto gaped with horror "You … I thought you were vegan!"

"Don't be silly, I'm a Gallifreyan!" the doctor laughed then took off again, "come look over here. We have the lights!"

Ianto looked dubious as he walked around to find the Doctor in a little space in the corner surrounded by mirrors that were frames by thousands of little fairy lights.

"See?" the Doctor flung his arms wide, "Like stars!"

Ianto blinked as Jack laughed and stated to sing 'Twinkle Little Star' and the Timelord started to dance some weird, electrocution style boogie.

Each mirror faced the other so what was one became several and ten Timelords seemed to dance in the space as the Doctor looked like someone doing a 'dad' dance of embarrassing proportions.

Ianto considered a response.

He joined in.

Why not … it's Christmas and Jack was delighted.