Hikaru didn't die, you guys. So many of you have said OH MI GOD YOU KILLED HIKARU! I am clearing the air on this one. When the paramedics arrived in the last chapter, it said in italics- "We could save him." When the paramedic bent down and whispered to Kaoru, that what she was telling him. I sucked at making that clear, so sorry.

Anyways…

Here we are. The last chapter. The end to this story. I'm glad to have shared my work with so many of you around the world. It's made me happy to see my name come up on alert lists and favorites lists. Thank you to all of you who have been there since day one. You guys are truly the people most dearest to me. Thank you as well to the new reviewers, who've arrived late but provided me with such kind reviews. All of you are wonderful to me, and I'm glad you chose my story to read.

Thank you.

Choice of song for this chapter: Adia by Sarah McLachlan (Takashi's POV)

My Thoughts You Can't Decode

Chapter Ten: How Could This Happen to Me?

Haruhi dragged herself home, head bowed low, defeated posture. She was extremely unkempt, attracting looks as she plodded to the apartment. At this point, she could care less. Her eyes were red-rimmed, tears still trickling down pale cheeks. Her uniform streaked with mud and grass stains. If you looked into her eyes, you saw a barren wasteland.

The brown eyes were no longer filled with their kind lights. They had dulled and dimmed, hollowing her face. She looked dead inside. If you saw her, you'd wonder what had possibly caused this poor girl to look like this. And Haruhi wouldn't tell you. Her gaze would seem to pass through you, as if you didn't exist.

Haruhi reached the steps, and began to trudge up them one at a time. She felt detached from her body. Swaying a little, she fumbled for the railing. Her stomach felt horrible. Everything was swaying…. The stairs bucked under her feet, and her door moved far away. With a little sigh, the girl fell back down the way she came, crumpling up in a heap at the foot of the stairs.

One time, she gasped. Then, Haruhi just lay there, not caring what happened to her or who found her. If she died right now, it'd just be a release from the pain. She looked at her arm. Blood trickled down the sleeve, but oddly enough she didn't feel it. Vaguely, the host experienced déjà vu. Images flashed through her mind, jumbled in with words and blood.

Hikaru, lying on the ground bleeding, eyes closed.

"What have you done?"

Takashi reaching for her, blood all over him.

Recoiling. Animalistic fear that made her scream, "Stay away from me!"

Bright lights. Paralyzing fear. A spreading sense of numbness.

Kaoru's face, stricken with grief.

"TAKASHI!"

Kyouya falling backwards, arms seeking support.

"Wake up! You have to wake up!"

Mitsukuni being pinned by various cops, screaming for his cousin.

A ladder descending. Squad cars filling the rose maze.

"It was an accident…."

Tamaki hugging her, whispering soothing words.

"It's okay…"

A rose lying shattered among the footprints and blood.

"It's my fault…."

The thought grew louder, suffocating her.

"It's my fault!"

Louder still, Haruhi began screaming, but no sound escaped.

"IT'S MY FAULT!"

"Haruhi, honey! Sweetie, wake up! It's okay!" Her brown eyes opened, glistening with tears. Strangled sobs began to claw at her throat. Her father's face swam before her in a haze of tears. "Dad?" Haruhi choked out, voice barely above a whisper. His face was haggard, fear evident in his features. It was replaced by relief.

"It's okay sweetie, Daddy's here."

Ranka hugged his daughter tight. His voice was constricted by pain and fear. "What happened, sweetheart?" He rocked her back and forth, as he did when she was little. Haruhi's throat closed. She couldn't tell him. It was too much to even admit to herself. Instead, her hands tightened on her dad, face burying into his shoulder.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Ranka was alarmed now. His voice became husky with rage. "No one's hurt you, have they?" Haruhi shook her head, clearing her throat. "I'm fine." She rasped out. It was a lie. It felt as if she had been burned with acid, and salt had been poured onto her wounds. She hurt everywhere.

"I'm going to bed." Ranka kissed the top of her head. "Okay honey, try to sleep." The tortured girl shuffled into her room. Flopping down on her bed, her eyes fell on a photograph. It was in an ornately carved frame, made of silver. At the thought of silver, Haruhi felt her mind fly to a corner of her mind she was trying to repress.

Takashi.

Haruhi stifled a little cry, wrapping her arms around herself. The portrait itself seemed to mock her. It was a picture of them together. Takashi was kissing the top of her head; Haruhi had her arms wrapped around his neck. She stared at it, heart on fire. It hurt so much to even think of him.

Dripping tears onto the photo, Haruhi placed it face down. She couldn't bear to look at it anymore. It hurt her heart, no. It hurt her soul. Curling up against her bedspread, she wept. She wept for a man she loved, a man she shouldn't love anymore. She wept for her friend, cold and dead. The host wept for everyone that fateful day, all the hosts who were now doing the same thing.

All of the crying hosts.

Ranka sat down that night, worried. He was troubled by his daughter's behavior. The way she hadn't even cared that she was filthy, and had crawled into bed. Haruhi didn't do any of those things. His Haruhi cared about her hygiene. She cared about having a clean uniform.

And his Haruhi didn't have those sorrowful eyes.

The man glanced at his television. The evening news was on, featuring a familiar face. He grabbed the remote, turning up the volume. It echoed through the quiet apartment, sucking air from the room. Takashi Morinozuka was on the screen, the look of a drowning man on his face. Ranka felt his eyes go wide.

"Takashi Morinozuka, a local teenager, has been charged with the attempted murder of Hikaru Hitachiin. The boy was arrested at about eight o'clock last night on the grounds of the famous school, Ouran Academy. Police had responded to a 9-1-1 call in the area. Another teenager, who asked to remain anonymous, made a distressed call to a dispatcher….."

The man stopped talking, and the 9-1-1 call was played. Words scrolled across the bottom of the screen.

'Takashi Morinozuka to be tried in adult court.'

'Hikaru Hitachiin currently in critical condition.'

The girl's voice blared out of the screen. Ranka felt his throat close. He swallowed thickly.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?

Girl: There's a serious argument going on here..

Dispatcher: M'am, how serious is the situation?

Girl: They're trying to hurt each other!

Dispatcher: Can you tell me your location?

Girl: I'm at Ouran Academy, in the rose maze! Please hurry! It's getting physical!

Her voice rose to high pitch levels, making Ranka wince.

Girl: Oh my god, he's killing him! HE'S KILLING HIM!

Dispatcher: What's happening?

Girl: Oh my god! He's not moving! He's dead! He's killed him! Oh my god!

Dispatcher: M'am, what's happening there?

Girl: Takashi's killed Hikaru! Hikaru's dead!

Crying blared out of the speakers.

Dispatcher: We've dispatched two units to your location.

There was an eerie silence.

Dispatcher: M'am? Are you there?

The news anchor came back on, and Ranka turned the volume down. "Takashi Morinozuka will be tried as an adult tomorrow in front of a jury. Kaoru Hitachiin, brother of the victim, is expected to testify, along with all other members belonging to the infamous Host Club." He couldn't take it anymore.

Ranka flicked off the television, feeling sick. 'That's why she was crying.' He began to shed some tears of his own. "Oh god, my poor baby." The man looked towards the photograph of his late wife. Picking up the photograph, he sobbed. "Oh Kotoko, what can I do?"

And Ranka fell asleep like that, his wife's picture clenched in his hands.

Haruhi woke up, exhausted. It felt as if she hadn't gotten any sleep at all. She had just lay there in an unthinking stupor, creating the illusion of sleep. Rubbing her cheek, she glanced at the alarm clock. It was eleven. Her cell phone rang, Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You" radiating from the phone.

"Hello." She said dully. "Haruhi, I'm outside." She yawned into the speaker. "Okay, give me five minutes." There was dead silence on the end of the phone. "You don't have to do this, Haruhi." She choked back a cry. "I know."

Flipping her phone shut, Haruhi wriggled out of bed. Throwing a red tank top over her head, she tugged on beige capris. Mechanically, she dragged the brush through her hair. Grabbing a small purse, she threw her house key and phone into it. She walked past her father, who lay sleeping on the couch.

Walking down the stairs, she met the host waiting for her. He hugged her close. "Are you okay?" Haruhi hugged him too, ignoring the little pang in her heart when she did it. "I'm fine, Tamaki." The blonde smiled sadly, knowing how much she was lying. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She, in answer, climbed into the passenger seat of the car.

Takashi sat in his cell, staring at the ceiling. He was clad in a prison jumpsuit already, and staring at his fate. He knew he would end up staying in here. What he didn't know was how long it would last. The senior sighed, noticing the guards in charge of him flinch. They were deathly afraid of him.

Takashi was afraid of himself. He'd nearly killed one of his best friends in pure rage. The chains holding his hands together were stronger than him. That was a blessing. He didn't want to be free again. He deserved to be in here forever. He was a monster.

Takashi thought of Haruhi unwillingly. The thought came on lightening quick and needle sharp. He gasped, breathing hitching unevenly. His heart hurt when he thought of her. It was terrible. He wished he'd been a better, stronger man for her. He wished things could've been different.

One of the guards accepted a phone call. After some extensive nodding, he shut his cell phone. Looking at the other guards, they all rose in unison. Two approached the cell, one drew a gun. It was shaking slightly. Takashi regarded the weapon coolly. "It's time." The guards stepped in, hauling him to his feet. He just went along with it, knowing the hopelessness of the situation.

They dragged him down a long hall to a door. Opening it, all six men led Takashi into the courtroom, under the scrutiny of many. They sat him in the defendant's seat, and backed off. He sat ramrod straight. The jury looked at him with impassive looks. They didn't care what happened to him. All these people wanted was to get the hell out of here. All the various procedures were gone through, and the first witness took the stand.

It was Mitsukuni who came first, his little frame quivering. "Takashi didn't mean to do it. He's a good man. He just lost control for a second. Everyone does that. Don't you dare deny that you have never lost control." He glared around the room. His persona was fiery, filled with love for his cousin. "What he did was wrong, I'll agree with that. But... He should not be locked away for this."

And with that, the little senior walked away from the pedestal. Tears were in his golden brown eyes, but he still managed to keep his pride. Mitsukuni even managed a little smile and wink at his cousin. 'It's okay. I forgive you.'

This made things simply worse on Takashi. His cousin shouldn't be defending him. He should be running from him, not forgiving him. Takashi gulped. God, he had brainwashed his cousin. He rubbed his cheek.

Tamaki came next, then Kyouya. Their speeches were differently worded, but still expressing the same meaning. They were defending him too. Though with Kyouya, it seemed as though he had tried to bribe someone. From the defeated look on his face, Takashi guessed that it hadn't worked.

Kaoru walked into the courtroom at that moment. His face was flushed and tear-streaked. Takashi blanched. 'Oh, damn.' The young Hitachiin looked terrible. As he brushed by Takashi, he felt him shiver. Never had he felt so powerless. Kaoru took the stand, and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I was late….. I was just with my brother, and lost track of the time." A few of the women looked sympathetic.

"I believe Takashi Morinozuka should be locked away. I realize that my fellow hosts do not agree with me on this, but I don't care. This was my brother, and I will face the world for him. Takashi nearly killed him, and should be placed in prison for a long time. Anger management classes will not help this situation."

He turned to face the former host dead on. "My brother, before his incident, had acquired recent files on this man. It showed several accounts of battery that he was charged for over the years. Those files show just how unstable Takashi Morinozuka really is. One day he was going to crack, and it happened to be on the day he met my brother.

"I can not even begin to describe how I felt when I found my brother lying there. A piece of me felt like it was dying. As I held him, I wished that it was me and not him lying there. I never want anyone to go through what we had to. My mother has been crying nonstop for 24 hours. My father has been right there beside her."

Kaoru began to choke up. "No family should have to suffer this kind of emotional pain. We sat there for hours, wondering if my brother would live or die. All of this was because of Takashi Morinozuka. He should be cast away from the entire world, so another person should not have to suffer as much as my brother and I have."

He left the room directly after, tears falling down his cheeks again. Takashi began to cry a little, full of self-loathing. 'I-I cannot even begin to express how much I hate myself.' His head fell into his hands, and he wept. Women on the jury were crying; some of the men looked disgusted. It was all directed at him, a torrent of hate and judgment.

"I-I'm Haruhi Fujioka, and I've been called here today to testify." His head snapped up in shock. There she was, oh how it hurt to see her here. Takashi knew how much she was hurting as well. Her fingers were playing with her shirt, twisting it this way and that. It was a nervous habit of hers.

"T-Takashi is a good guy. I swear by it. He, umm he used to be my boyfriend, but that does to mean I will vouch for him. He did a terrible thing, and should do something about it. I don't agree that he should be sent to jail, because he's a good person. He just had a terrible reaction to something. But, he just needs to get some serious help."

Haruhi turned and looked at him. Her brown eyes welled up. "Takashi, please. Please get some help. That's all I can really ask of you now." She looked at the judge, paling. "I have nothing else to say." And with a gasp, she fainted on the spot, head hitting the wood. Takashi stood up, chair squealing back indignantly. "Haruhi!" he attempted to go over to her, but the guards jumped him.

"Haruhi, are you okay?" he asked from across the room. The guards wrestled him back down into his chair, holding him there. The other hosts were flitting around her, helping her up. It killed Takashi that he couldn't be over there helping her up. He wanted to be there with them, helping Haruhi get on her feet.

Tamaki propped her up, holding her. Her brown eyes flitted open, and she stared at him. Haruhi gave the blonde a wary smile. He returned it and something seemed to pass between them. Takashi didn't like it. The way her was looking at her was…..

It was bad.

The jury stood and left the room. All the hosts stood there awkwardly, avoiding looks. Haruhi sat down, hands in her lap. Takashi followed her every movement. 'Please look at me. Don't do this to me.' Tears glistened in her eyes. Her hands fisted. Tamaki moved over to her, whispering something in her ear. She gave him that smile again, with her eyes filled with tears.

It was uncomfortable in that room. Takashi was almost grateful when the jury came back in. Then he saw their facial expressions. The women were still crying, and the men were impassive. The judge looked them each over in turn. "Has the jury reached a verdict?" A man stood. "We have, your Honor."

"We find the defendant….."

Takashi felt woozy.

"Guilty of attempted murder."

The room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. The judge shook his head sadly. "Very well. I sentence you, Takashi Morinozuka, to seven years in a federal prison." Takashi felt as if he was slipping off the edge of a giant cliff. Then, the world erupted in sounds and noise. He felt like he was fading.

'How could this happen to me?'

Haruhi let out a sob, pressing a tissue to her mouth. She hunched over herself, shaking. "Oh god." She couldn't stop the tears, no matter how fast they were wiped away. She was losing it. "Why?" she shouted amidst the din. Eventually, there were no more tears left. The girl began sobbing brokenly, throat raw.

She raised her head. Through her tears, she watched Takashi be led out of the room. This would be the last time she'd ever see him. Haruhi let out another cry. She became so hysterical that the judge began motioning for the guards. Tamaki grabbed her, pulling her gently to her feet.

Haruhi felt that the pain would never go. She couldn't take it. Collapsing completely, she became inconsolable. There was nothing left to live for anymore. She sobbed against Tamaki, hands fisting in his shirt. He held her tightly, rubbing her back, pushing her hair back. "I'm sorry, Haruhi. I'm so sorry."

She screamed, and suddenly the world went black. Haruhi slipped off the edge into oblivion.

Haruhi awoke in a dim room. The single window was open, spreading sunlight across the sheets. She blinked. This was the hospital. That's where she was. She felt drugged. Probably was. Yep, she'd caused such a scene they'd had to drug her. The girl sighed.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki poked his head in. She smiled again. It seemed to be the only thing she could do with him. "Are you okay?" Haruhi nodded, motioning for him to come sit down. Carefully, the blonde sat on the bed and held her hand. Again, they smiled at each other. They had a strange relationship.

Tamaki was there because Haruhi needed him. No one else could make her feel better. After the incident, she had contemplated suicide. Tamaki was the only reason she hadn't done it. She couldn't live without him. It was more of a friendship, but Haruhi had never felt so vulnerable.

"Thank you for everything." His violet eyes widened. "You're the best guy I've ever met. Thank you." He smiled at her again. "Oh come on, what about your dad?" Haruhi giggled a little. "Maybe not." They hugged each other.

As they moved back, Haruhi kissed his cheek. Tamaki blushed furiously. "What was that for?" And to that, she said, "For being with me."

'Goodbye, Takashi Morinozuka. Now we can both move on. You're free.'

Thanks for everything.

Love,

Bailey