"Six years and she cheats?" Dean asked as they sat down that night for dinner.
"I know" she said with a sigh drinking back her wine and slamming the glass back down with a gasp. "She's a spiteful bitch"
"Anna…" Castiel said tilting his head in concern. "You loved her"
"An ex is an ex for a reason, guys; she fucked the nearest slag she could find so you know what? Good riddance" she muttered stabbing at her chicken. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about her while you are here"
Dean gave a sidelong glance to Castiel who shrugged gently at him. They eat the rest of their dinner in silence till Dean let out a groan.
"You're a really good cook!" he said patting his stomach with a smile just for her. Anna rolls her eyes collecting the plates up and dumping them in the sink.
"I can cook very well, I admit to that" she said.
Dean glanced towards the stairs and back to Castiel who watched him amused.
"PlayStation?"
"I paused the game…" he said trailing off as Castiel smiled kicking him gently.
"You are a child" he muttered and smiled when Dean grinned hopping out the chair. Anna watched them from the kitchen with a fond expression before walking over and dropping down to sit on Dean's empty seat.
"You say you don't love him but that speaks volumes"
"I care about him"
"Why?" she said sitting properly and facing him.
"Because…I do, it's a natural instinct is it not? He was there the moment I woke up from that accident, he's taken care of me, he's my husband and I did love him once"
"You can love him again" she said taking his hand and leading him into her personal study and sitting him down on the sofa. "So lover boy won't disturb us"
Castiel curled his legs up to himself sitting on the little sofa staring up at her.
"Do you know what happened the very first time you two got together?"
"He told me it was at a party"
"Yeah, Pamela's party and the morning before you were ranting about how much you hated him! The next thing I know I am being told at that party you and him practically charged up the stairs like a bitch in heat" she said with a puff of laughter. "But you told me the next day you threw up in the middle and instead you cuddled…"
Castiel grimaced looking towards her little brown desk in the middle of the room covered in magazines and papers.
"But then he promised you…he would make you happy, make you feel loved, and he kept it. Here you are six years later, Cas, yes there are complications but you're still together and that's amazing" she murmured dropping down to her knees and cupping her hand around his.
"It doesn't feel amazing, it feels like I have a huge brick wall in my mind and I'm trying to knock it down but it won't budge"
"You remembered me, I think a chunk is gone" she said with an air of amusement.
"Maybe, but I want to remember everything! I want to remember our wedding" he said in a pained voice clutching his hands together. "I see it on photos, I see the memory in his eyes when he tells me and it kills me, Anna, I hate hurting him"
"It's not your fault" she whispered smoothing a hand over his cheek. Castiel squeezed his eyes together fighting back the tears threatening to spill over, Anna sighed joining him on the couch.
"Okay, so far since the crash you have remembered some things right?"
Castiel nodded in confirmation staring at the red carpet intently.
"So have you kissed him?"
"Yes?"
"Slept in the same bed?"
"Only recently, I've been sleeping in the spare room but it's a comfort to sleep next to a warm body instead a cold pillow"
"You had sex?"
"No"
Anna's eyes brightened and she snapped her fingers. "That's it"
"That's what?" he replied baffled.
"Sex" she purred watching Castiel's eyes go wide and his form back away scared.
"Sex?"
"Have sex with him! You've kissed, hugged, shared a bed, but not done the big deed! This could help you, Cas!"
"How can sex help me?"
"Sex is a connection, Castiel, it's deep, it's intimate, it's loving and with someone who you love it is the best thing in the world" she said wistfully. "You don't have to be afraid or frightened with them; you can be yourself and be connected in ways you can't possibly imagine"
Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat staring into the overexcited eyes of Anna who gripped his hands tight.
"I don't know if I can" he whispered.
"Of course you can" Anna scoffed at him. "He's your husband and believe me when I tell you that you've had sex with that man more times than I could imagine"
"So, I just walk up to him and…" he said gesturing as she bit her lip to stop her laughter and shrugged.
"Whatever you think is best, Cas, but sex is one way to tell if you can ever love him again! If you feel nothing afterwards then…"
"That's just using him!" he reacted horrified looking away from her.
"Okay, okay!" Anna cried throwing her hands up and getting up. "It was just an idea but what else can you do, Cas? I mean the very first time you got together you nearly had sex and it took off from there"
Castiel shook his head into his hands knowing it was such a stupid idea but what if it did work, what if the connection and intimacy drove him towards that path once again?
"Look I'm going to head out for a few hours, go see some friends, drink wine till I pass out and then cry because I'm still in love with my slut of an ex" she said pulling on her coat checking her makeup in the mirror before spinning on a heel to face him. "You're married, Cas, if you want to love him again maybe this is a start"
Castiel could feel the butterflies in his stomach roll and flutter nervously, Anna bent down kissing his cheek.
"I'll be back later" she called as she walked out of the study heading towards the front door. Castiel twisted his hands nervously contemplating his decision before heading towards the staircase and heading up them.
Castiel found Dean in the bedroom, Anna, had given them flicking through the channels.
"Well this sucks! British television sure is a load of crap" he mumbled switching it off and turning towards him with a grin that faltered.
"Hey, you okay?" he said when Castiel came in shutting the door behind them looking at the floor.
"What happened to your game?"
"Oh, died again and again" he growled bitterly looking towards the window and the back garden. "Holy shit…this garden is huge! I think I should have dumped you off and got with this Bela chick"
"What would you rather have… money or love?"
"Both, but love I guess" he said with a wistful sigh touching the glass.
Castiel looked over the sweep of his back seeing the hard muscle underneath his grey shirt, he crept over carefully pressing himself against his back kissing his nape softly. Dean stiffened in shock turning around slowly looking down into Castiel's eyes in shocked wonder.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
Castiel stared back knowing he was in his personal space and could feel the temper and mood shift in the room almost suddenly. Castiel's eyes grazed over the panes of his face breathing gentle air onto his lips which made Dean close his eyes with a low moan. He had never noticed before but Dean's skin held a sun kissed golden glow dusted with light freckles he wanted to kiss.
Castiel let out a small sound as he trailed his fingers across his face feeling the heat of his skin underneath his fingertips as he pressed his cold lips to the corner of his mouth.
"Cas…" Dean moaned low under his breath gripping his hips tight and bringing him flush against his chest. Castiel trailed his lips across Dean's tasting the faint taste of wine and a little chicken before claiming him in a firm but gentle kiss.
Dean's insides felt like jelly as he cupped the back of Castiel's head grasping his hair. Castiel widened his mouth sliding his tongue against Dean's feeling the soft warmth of his mouth and nearly collapsing when his arousal grew and his cock hardened.
Dean gasped pulling away feeling the hardness of Castiel's cock press into his thigh.
"Cas?"
"I want you" he murmured backing him up and pressing him down into the massive bed. Dean splayed his hands out feeling the silky purple sheets underneath him and cursed Anna for being such a girl.
"What-why?" he murmured against his lips as Castiel straddled him nipping the soft plump bottom lip gently.
"Because I want to feel, Dean, I want to be with you and I want to know I can do this" he said reaching for the hem of the grey shirt and tugging it up and off him. Castiel marvelled with a low "hmm" as he trailed his fingernails down his chest. Dean hissed and bucked his hips feeling the gentle pressure of pain and pleasure building up.
"Baby, are you sure? Because I don't want to do anything…" he rambled only to be cut off by a harsh kiss from Castiel. Dean succumbed gripping the top of his shoulders feeling pressure on his lips weaken and move into a more passionate clash of tongue and teeth. They scrambled together as they pulled off different items of clothing till Castiel was straddling Dean's bare hips also naked.
Castiel felt nerves tug underneath his skin as he stared down at him and his brain screamed, "What are you doing?"
"It'll be alright, I'll take care of you" Dean whispered pushing his body up and staring into the suddenly vulnerable blue eyes and kissing along his jaw. "We'll take it slow"
The skin to skin contact of their chests made Dean shiver and Castiel tremble feeling Dean's warm mouth suck on the sensitive part underneath his ear. Castiel gasped rutting against him his cock bouncing against the skin of his stomach.
"That's one of your weaknesses" Dean whispered licking into the shell of his ear. Castiel let out a shaky gasp tilting his head back looking up at the high ceiling listening to his shaky breaths and the sound of Dean on his collarbone creating mark after mark.
Dean returned to his mouth and Castiel responded instantly kissing him breathless till Dean pulled back looking dazed, swollen mouthed and horny as hell.
Dean grit his teeth flipping them over so Castiel landed on the bed with a soft thump making him gasp gripping his arms in shock.
"I topped first time, I'm topping again" he murmured against his chest as he left a trail of heated kisses down the middle of his stomach and chest.
"Fine" Castiel whispered moving further up the bed spreading his legs so Dean could fit into them.
"Cas, do you remember anything about sex?"
"Not really"
"So you're like a…virgin all over again" he murmured ghosting his lips over his nipple so confused but ultimately turned on. "I get to take it again, oh that is so hot"
"How?" he said with a gasp arching his back up against his mouth when Dean took his nipple into his mouth teasing gently.
"Because I was your first and I'm your last" Dean said with a smug smile sliding his hands down his writhing body and settling them on his hips. Castiel let out a small whimper when Dean nuzzled his groin inhaling the scent that was just Castiel.
Dean slid his tongue down the line of his pelvis tasting sweat and something sweet causing Castiel to moan and wriggle on the sheets clutching one hand in Dean's hair and the other in their sheets.
"Dean…" he panted out in sharp gasps feeling Dean's lips move up to his thighs. His thighs quivered and shook and his body felt sweaty already as Dean bit the delicate skin of his inner thigh.
"Dean…please" he whispered arching his back and spreading his legs wider. Dean groaned helplessly into his thigh lifting his head to stare into the wild blue eyes and crawling back up to him.
"100% sure"
"It's a little too late now!" Castiel hissed back at him fully aroused and seeing no way out of this predicament now. Dean smiled lazily pressing a finger to his lips for him to wait, Dean rolled off hearing a disappointed groan from Castiel who missed the warmth and heat of his body. Castiel sat up looking at his ass and tilting his head at it to admire his anatomy.
"Perfect ass" he whispered looking up to Dean who raised an eyebrow coming back over to him, Castiel spreading his legs.
"Slut" Dean muttered nipping his bottom lip making him yelp and gawp at him. "Spreading your legs for me like that"
"In my mind I haven't had sex" he hissed feeling anger and arousal pump through his veins as he ran his fingers into Dean's short brown hair before tugging it hard.
Dean let out a low groan liking the pain and glaring at him as he slicked his fingers up with the lube he bought. Castiel watched in interest till Dean moved them down pressing them against his hole, Dean stared down at him as he gasped wordlessly to the fingers penetrating him. Castiel moaned squeezing his eyes shut and arching his head back exposing his throat.
"Shush, I got you, baby" Dean whispered slipping a second finger into him scissoring his fingers and flexing them inside him.
Pain, desire, pleasure and a burning sensation flooded Castiel's senses as he wriggled and panted on the bed feeling Dean open him up wider.
"Dean…I…please" he said in ramblings instead of words feeling a third finger slip inside the deep heat of his entrance and moaned louder when he finger fucked him slowly.
"I got you, I got you" Dean whispered moving up and kissing him tenderly. Castiel whimpered keeping his eyes open staring into Dean's as he grew tired of teasing and positioned himself.
"You ready?"
Castiel nodded silently sliding his hands into Dean's hands so they were palm to palm feeling the head of his cock enter him slowly. Castiel cried out against the sudden pain rippling across his front and back mostly squeezing Dean's hand tightly.
Dean also closed his eyes feeling a breath and cry of relief entering into that hot but familiar warmth of his lover. Castiel moaned low when he fully hilted inside him waiting till Castiel adjusted to him.
Castiel let out a raspy pant feeling the slow numbing pain slip away into something amazing and tingly as Dean rolled his hips sliding in and out of him in a long push. Castiel nodded wrapping his legs around his waist pressing his heels into his ass encouraging him in. Dean moaned low capturing his mouth and throwing their hand down either side of his head as he thrusted into him slowly feeling Castiel's grunts into his mouth.
Castiel's heart beat a broken beat seeing the love and adoration in Dean's eyes as they stared into his like he was only person in the world who mattered.
That was the moment he knew and saw how much Dean truly loved him and bit his lip feeling a tear escape his eye. Dean noticed it and caught it in his mouth as he trailed a soft kiss up his cheek.
"Baby?" he whispered concerned as he thrusted into him slowing even more down.
"No, don't stop" he whispered gripping the back of his neck shaking his head. Dean obliged thrusting deeper inside him teasing the prostate gaining a scream from Castiel who shuddered and rolled his hips to meet Dean's.
The room was filled with the sounds of their moans and sweaty skin slapping against each other as Dean fisted a hand around Castiel's neglected cock. Three quick strokes and Castiel could feel the burn in his balls harden as he cried out into Dean's neck spilling cum all over his chest and his own. Dean pumped him riding out his orgasm till Castiel collapsed against the bed cover breathless and sated moaning softly as Dean thrusted into him harder.
Sliding his hands down his sweaty back, Castiel cupped his ass squeezing and kneading it hard sending Dean over the edge as he rode out his own orgasm filling Castiel's insides with his own seed.
Dean growled a low groan collapsing on Castiel who huffed catching his weight and breathed out inhaling the smell of sweat, salt and come lingering in the air. It smelled of sex.
"Dean…can't breathe" he murmured running a hand into his sweaty hair.
Dean grunted pulling out of him slowly with a wince from both guys before rolling onto his back breathing hard and fast.
"Holy shit" Dean breathed rolling onto his side looking at Castiel who blinked sleepily. "Why did we just do that? I thought you weren't even…"
Castiel rolled over to face him pressing a finger to his lip to silence him and shook his head.
"Let's sleep, we'll talk later" he murmured stroking over his cheek and kissing the corner of his mouth like the start. Dean's brow furrowed but he nodded as they both moved up still in pain but good pain, Castiel burrowed under the blankets waiting for Dean who joined him.
Dean curled up taking Castiel into his arms so rest in the crook of his neck.
"You sure you're alright?" Dean whispered into his hair.
"Yes, Dean, now try and sleep" he murmured into his neck closing his eyes and feeling a warmth so painful it felt well erupt in his heart. Castiel didn't understand love yet but this overwhelming warmth, protectiveness and tenderness he felt now for the man who held him tight had to be something to do with the word, "love".
Something stirred in conscious as another night flew to his mind, a similar one in the dark holding a special event that made Castiel's head hurt. He glanced up to Dean who was now snoring into his hair and bit his lip choosing to address that and his feelings later on because for now it was just them two, the world could wait.
A/N: Thank you for the response, guys!
I'm glad I have made you cry and happy, seriously, it means I am doing something right!