Disclaimer: Still not mine.
Author's Note: This chapter has been brought to you by...the flu. I could post it so early today because when I went into work today, they listened to me coughing up a lung for ten minutes and then sent me right back home. So you guys can benefit! Enjoy!
I Want To Feel Through You
Chapter Ten: Some Things Never Do Change
Elena had two finals that day: history and math. She'd have two finals a day for three days, and then she could look forward to winter break. Also, she knew they would be her second-to-last finals of her high school career, which was definitely a nice thought.
Her history final was almost a breeze. It would have been a breeze, except for the whole period, she could feel Stefan's gaze burning a hole in the back of her head. It was a real treat, trying to write an essay on the witch hunts in Europe – Salem would have been too easy, and Elena was almost sure Alaric had focused on European witch hunts because he knew about Bonnie's lineage and didn't want to give them an unfair advantage – while feeling like Stefan's eyes were crawling all over her back. Every time she turned to look at him, he'd conveniently have his head bent over the test. He put on a good show of having to think about his answers, but she knew he'd be looking at her again as soon as she turned back to her own work. Still, she finished the test, and she felt pretty good about it.
Math went as well as could be expected, given that it was math. It had never been her strong point, but she thought she passed it. She definitely didn't ace it, but she wouldn't have to retake the class either. She hated math, but it was a welcome break from Stefan and the way he kept switching between the hurt puppy dog look and glaring at her like she'd killed his brother, instead of choosing to date him.
Finally done with her test, Elena rushed out of the school to the parking lot, scanning the area for Damon's car. Her eyes picked it out easily. One of the many benefits of having a car like that. She rushed over, eager to see him and go on their second date.
She climbed into his car and leaned over to greet him with a kiss. He returned the kiss with enthusiasm, his hand automatically reaching up to cup her face. It was only after they'd pulled away from each other that Elena realized how easy and natural that had felt. She didn't even have to try to be with Damon. Once she'd accepted that it was something that was worth investigating, she'd fallen into it so completely that it felt like they'd been in a happy, loving relationship for months, maybe years, instead of days.
She sat back in her seat and buckled herself in, still pondering why Damon felt so much more right for her than Stefan. Maybe it was her brain and how it had been torturing her. Maybe it was because he wasn't carrying around so many secrets, right from the beginning. The only thing he was keeping from her was one memory. She'd been on and off with Stefan for over a year, and she was pretty sure he still had a closet full of skeletons he was hiding from her. Or maybe it was because they had been friends first. Whatever it was, it shifted her decision a little closer to Damon. She was still far from sure either way, but every moment she spent with Damon, he seemed to rack up more points in his favor. And for some reason, Stefan couldn't seem to realize that his behavior was just making it easier for her to choose his brother.
"Ace your tests?" Damon asked, only a hint of teasing in his voice. He started the car and began to drive.
"History yes, math no," Elena responded. "So, where are we going for date number two?"
"Our destination for date number two will be..." He paused in the most dramatic fashion he could, and then finished, "The Grill. The next dinner date gets the fancy restaurant. Lunch dates get casual restaurants."
"Why are lunch dates always casual?" Elena asked. "I never got that."
Damon smirked. "It's because no one goes home and has sex after lunch. Dinner, however..." he trailed off.
She blushed deeply, making him smirk even more. "Well, that explains a lot. Anyway, I don't object to the Grill. Just don't be too shocked if every single person I know happens to be there and decides to drop in on our date," she warned him.
"Well, doesn't 'every single person you know' already know about us by now? Even I'm shocked at the lack of secrecy."
"I don't think Matt does yet," she replied. "And maybe not Tyler either. But no, I'm not keeping any of this a secret. Like I said, I'm not sneaking around. I have a choice to make, and I won't have it based on secrets and lies. I want to know what it's like to be with you, out in the open. I don't want to try it in secret because when I pick you, I don't intend to live the rest of my life in secret. Well, not that way at least."
"You didn't say 'if,'" Damon pointed out, too surprised to keep the thought to himself. His could feel his hopes soaring, no matter how much he tried to keep them under control. She'd slipped and said what she'd meant, and she'd said 'when.' When she picked him. Not if.
"Hm?" Elena asked, not following his train of thought.
"What? Oh, nothing." Now that he had time to think about it, he didn't want to get into that discussion. He was perfectly happy with her Freudian slip. He didn't want her examining it too much and taking the small victory away from him.
It didn't take them long to reach the Grill, and as usual, it was uncrowded enough that they could simply walk in and seat themselves at a table. "Let date number two commence," Damon announced as they slid into their booth. "Now, what exactly do people do on date number two?"
"I'm not all that worried about what other people do for date number two," Elena admitted. "But maybe religion and politics, since those are strictly forbidden from the first date." She smiled at him, rolling her eyes a little. She then put on her best serious face. "And speaking of politics, who did you vote for in the last election, Damon?"
He laughed. It was mildly ridiculous to him that they were even bothering to attempt normal date conversation, and he knew she felt the same way. But he played along and answered her question honestly. "I've never voted, actually."
Elena's brow furrowed. For some reason, she hadn't expected that. "Not even as a human?"
"No, not even then." When the confusion didn't clear off of her face, Damon explained further. "I wanted to. But I wanted to vote for Lincoln because I was never a supporter of slavery. Which would not have gone over well in my family. So I chose not to vote at all."
She frowned a little. "But you compel people. Isn't that a form of slavery?"
He leaned forward. He could sense that this was an important question for her, and he wanted to answer it fairly. "I compel people in order to feed, which you have to admit is better than killing them. And lately, I haven't even been doing that much. But I don't compel them to do my chores for me. That's just...lazy."
His answer satisfied her. She had a desperate need to make sense of him, but with every small piece of himself he gave her, it got easier and easier for the full picture of his life to come into focus. So she was almost sure she was guessing correctly when she asked, "So you joined the Confederate Army to make your dad happy?"
Damon nodded. "Yeah. But I deserted. And that didn't have as much to do with Katherine as Stefan would have you believe. My fellow soldiers...well, most of them came from families too poor to be very involved in the slavery debate. And the others were like I had started – compromising their own principles to impress their fathers. I didn't want to become as beaten down as they were, so I took a vacation from the war, and then I managed to find one reason after another to not go back. Katherine was just the last."
He waved for a waitress to bring some menus over, but Matt took them from her and brought them himself. He looked back and forth between Elena and Damon, and the look on his face was almost comical. Finally, his gaze settled on Elena, and he simply asked, "Really?"
"Really," she replied easily. She wasn't ashamed of the relationship, so she didn't jump to defend herself or justify her actions. Matt would accept it, or he wouldn't. But they'd been friends forever, and he wasn't going to disown her over a choice he didn't approve of. Maybe if he knew Damon was mostly responsible for Vicki's death...Elena had never been so grateful that Matt was still in the dark.
Matt shook his head in defeat. "Whatever," he said, leaving their menus and wandering off.
Damon watched the whole exchange, fascinated. The two of them had been sharing so much more information than they were saying. He was used to that when people were fighting or having sex, but it had been a long time since he'd seen it in a platonic friendship. "Will he get over it?" he asked her. He was a little surprised at himself. What did he care about Matt? The boy clearly didn't like him, and Damon found him to be utterly beneath his notice, only elevated because of the people he was friends with. He studied the feeling until he could understand it, and then he wanted to punch himself in the face.
He didn't want Elena to hurt over the loss of Matt's friendship. Loving her was one thing, but if he had too many more feelings like that one, he'd turn into Stefan, and that could not be allowed.
"Yeah, he will," Elena assured him. She picked up her menu and studied it. "And thank you...I like that you care about little things like that."
Her thanks chased away his worry instantly, but in its absence caused him to ask one of his more pressing questions before he could think about it. "I still don't really understand why you're doing this," Damon said. He hadn't wanted that to slip out, but his curiosity was driving him crazy. "I mean, I get the dreams pushing you into this. But...you might lose Stefan. If you make up your mind to pick him, he might not be there to pick after this." She looked confused, and he knew it was because he was far too concerned for Stefan's well-being. But it wasn't for Stefan. It was for her. "I want you to pick me. You know that. But I don't get why you'd risk losing him."
"I was losing you," Elena said, the pain in her voice radiating across the table and into him so much that he almost flinched. "You were here, but you weren't, and I didn't realize how important you are to me until I almost lost you. And as for Stefan...I know it seemed perfect, but we have irreconcilable differences. We were great on the everyday stuff, but the big life-changing stuff...we couldn't be more different. And with you...well, maybe we won't be great on the everyday stuff, but maybe we could be okay on all of it."
"What's the big issue?"Damon asked, then quickly added, "I don't mean to pry, but I..." He couldn't finish the sentence. I want you forever, but if it's gonna end, I'd rather know now so I can batten down the hatches.
"It's okay. I told you I'd be honest with both of you, right?" She looked around the restaurant, making sure there was no one paying too much attention to them. Then Elena looked into Damon's eyes, watching for his reaction, just as she'd watched for Stefan's, and she asked the same question. She'd rehearsed asking Stefan so many times that it even came out phrased the same way. "If I wanted to become a vampire because I wanted to be with you forever, would you change me?"
Damon didn't look like he'd been punched in the stomach, so that was already a major improvement on Stefan's reaction. Instead, he looked like he was considering how to put his answer. Finally, he replied, "I'd want to wait a few years. For one thing, you do not want to be a teenager for all eternity, trust me, and I don't want to look like I'm chasing jailbait for all eternity. Also, I'd want the time for you to be sure so you wouldn't regret it. But yes, I would. And now I can see what you mean by irreconcilable differences. I can just imagine what my brother said."
The waitress came then, and they ordered their food and drinks. She took their menus away. Elena started to speak again, but Damon held up one finger. The waitress returned a few seconds later with their drinks. When she left again, Damon gestured for her to speak.
"Yeah, I'm sure you can just hear exactly what he said." She took a sip of her soda. "But you get it. You understand why it's something I need to consider. And you wouldn't feel guilt for the rest of eternity if you changed me. Not if it was what I wanted. Stefan..."
"It would eat him up inside until the guilt was the only thing left," Damon supplied. Elena nodded, confirming that he'd successfully completed her thought. "And you're right. I get why you have to consider this stuff. But it still surprises me that you've been thinking about it."
"'If you want to be with someone forever, you have to live forever,'" Elena said. "Lexi's boyfriend said that to me. I don't know if you heard it, since he was in the middle of trying to kill you when he said it, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since." She took a deep breath. This discussion went way past politics and religion. She decided the conversation definitely needed to be moved to a lighter topic. "But we're getting ahead of ourselves. We haven't even had sex yet, so we definitely can't be talking about eternity. After all, for all I know, you're bad in bed. And I can't be expected to stick around a guy who can't keep me amused." She smiled so he would know that she didn't mean it. She was fairly sure he could have deduced that on his own, but she could never be positive where male egos were concerned.
Damon's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He was so shocked that he almost missed how she had not so subtly changed the subject. Elena had just made a sex joke. At his expense, no less. "You do realize not only that you will be paying for that later, but that I will be taking it as a personal challenge?" he asked her.
By her blush, he could guess that she hadn't actually thought through what would happen after her comment, but she didn't look scared. She was excited. There was nothing Damon wanted more in the world than to take advantage of that excitement. He couldn't care less how casual lunch dates were supposed to be. It was still the second date and he was, according to her, well within his rights to do his damnedest to get her into his bed. He could have her beggint to take back that little jab in under thirty seconds. Hell, he could have her forgetting her own name in under a minute.
But he'd promised that they would go see Katherine. He would have loved to blow it off, and he would have, but it was Elena's life at stake. As much as he wanted her, he would delay if it meant saving her.
"Yeah, didn't really think that through," Elena admitted. She shifted in her seat, suddenly unable to sit still. The way he'd looked at her, like he wanted to throw her over his shoulder, caveman-style, and carry her off to ravish her for hours on end...that look was doing distressing things to her. It was all she could think about, and the more she thought about it, the more turned on she was. And she couldn't do anything about it because they were in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
Luckily, their food came at that moment, which didn't entirely derail Elena's thoughts, but it at least distracted her. They took their time eating, and they kept the conversation on light, easy topics. They'd had enough of the serious conversations for one date.
After they were done eating, Damon kept his word and took her to the tomb to see Katherine. He led the way, but when they got close enough, he turned to stop Elena. He held one finger over his lips in the universal gesture to be quiet. Clearly, he heard something up ahead that she couldn't. She nodded her understanding, and he continued to lead on, but at a much slower pace. But she was so confused...Damon sensed a reason to be quiet. But he hadn't left her behind to face the threat himself. He would never lead her into danger. So what could possibly be up ahead that was not dangerous, but that Damon still felt a need to sneak up on?
They descended into the tomb as quietly as possible, and Elena finally saw what Damon hadn't wanted to interrupt too early. The boulder in front of the tomb was already moved to the side, and Katherine had company.
"Stefan? What are you doing here?"
Yes, I am evil. I am strangely okay with that. Want to know what Stefan's doing in Katherine's tomb? Leave a review and find out faster!