Okay I have to say this chapter was amazing for me to write and i hope you enjoy it to! I have an idea though but i need an artist. This site allows cover art to be uploaded to the story, sort of like a book cover. I'm looking for anyone interested in creating a piece that speaks to the story and can be uploaded as the cover. If there are any artists out there that have the desire to help add to this project please send me a private message with any ideas you may have. The Picture would need to be scanned and emailed to me and you would always be recognized as the artist. any type of drawings or paintings depicting Blue Lace would be appreciated. Since we are going on Chapter 10 I think it's about time the story has a cover! Thanks in advance to everyone that reads this. I write for you and i'll always reply to your reviews or questions. Enjoy!
After she got off the phone with Hanna she took a deep breath, looking at the woods around her one last time before turning her back to the memories and beginning her sprint home. She was sure her lungs were about to explode and there was a very good chance of her mom finding her body lifeless along the side of the road, but she pressed forward, ignoring the hot stream that ran down her leg. She still had an hour before school let out and then Hanna would be arriving at her house. Of course Hanna would be on board with any and all defiant behavior. That's exactly why she had called her instead of Spencer or Aria. A lecture from Spencer is not what she was looking for and Aria was probably busy with her own extracurricular activities. While she trusted these girls she knew Hanna would be the most helpful, especially with Caleb by her side.
She threw open the door to her house and charged up the stairs and into her bathroom. Stripping her body of her clothing and blood stained socks and stepping into the shower before it had even warmed. Her skin dyed from the streaks of crimson that had run down her right leg. The cold water coated her body and sharpened her senses, running red around her feet. She squeezed her eyes shut letting it pour over her face. As the water began to warm she slapped it off, standing still as the beads of water drained from her skin. She stayed there until the trembling in her bones became too much, wrapping herself in a warm towel and calming the chills that took over her body. Protecting herself from the air around her. She walked to her dresser, pulling out a pair of jeans and her Rosewood Sharks hoodie.
She tensed as she slid the denim over her knees. The blood had washed off in the shower but there was still the layers of missing skin to deal with. Her right leg looked the worst but the left wasn't as bad. Her palms were a bit scraped though. She stared at them, curious as to why nothing hurt. The wounds were there but physically, the pain was not. She was beyond pain at this point, running only on the adrenaline that fueled her body.
She pulled her hoodie on and slipped into a pair of sneakers, taking a few minutes to pull her hair into a messy ponytail and study herself in the mirror. She looked okay, normal even. Aside from the faint circles under eyes she looked the same as any other day. She ripped the phone charger from the wall and stuffed it into her pocket along with the cell phone before heading downstairs to wait. Hanna would there any minute now.
Her mom wasn't home yet so she walked to the kitchen, deciding to leave a note. She had to. There was no way she could do this without letting her mom know that she was okay. So, she grabbed the pen on the counter and scribbled on the same note her mom had left her earlier that day.
* I'm okay, be back later. Don't worry. Love, Emmy*
The pet name was necessary. Her parents always called her that so she was relying on it to ease her mom's mind and keep her from worrying too much. She leaned against the counter waiting restlessly for Hanna and Caleb to arrive. She planned on leaving her car here. Somehow she thought her mom would worry less if she didn't think she out driving around somewhere while so emotionally unstable.
Her stomach growled as she eyed the box of donuts from Sunday morning. She flipped open the lid absent-mindedly, immediately regretting that decision. The only thing left in the box was a giant glazed donut...missing one bite. Paige's donut. She swallowed back the dryness in her throat, fighting the feeling of her closing airway. She waited for the tears to come, even willing them to bring the release that she had become so used to. To bring the numbness that dulled the pain. But nothing came. Nothing sad anyway. Just anger and an unwavering determination for what she was about to do. She slammed the box shut, dropping it into the trash can. The room was beginning to spin around her. She sunk to the floor leaning heavily into the cabinets behind her back, resting her head between her knees to slow the movement of the walls.
"Hurry up Hanna." She whispered, breathing carefully through her nose and out through her mouth.
The phone rang in her pocket. She pulled it out quickly, exhaling at the incoming call on the screen.
"Paige? Hey.." she breathed, excitement racing through her though she tried to hide it.
"Hey Emily." Her voice sounded happy. It made her feel better and uneasy at the same time. Emily thought of herself falling to the ground in the woods. Of the blood running down her legs that she couldn't even feel. Of herself laying in bed clutching at her sides to keep from falling apart. Was Paige already so used to being away from her? Wasn't this hurting Paige just as deeply as it was hurting her? Her emotions were running high, muddling her thoughts.
She knew the answers to those questions already. At least, she hoped she did. In any case the happiness sounded wrong and forced. She scolded herself quickly. They had laughed for hours last night so there was always the possibility that Paige was still in that mindset. She counted her blessings and while the list was short at the moment...anything was better than hearing Paige cry.
"I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, the phone was dead". Paige added, short and sweet, empty of emotion.
"Yeah I know, mine too." She replied. Something was wrong. Maybe it was just her being paranoid and maybe not. After three minutes of silence it began to worry her. Each passing second making her grow more and more unsettled until she had to speak.
"Is everything okay?" She swallowed the knot in her throat, noticing how she could feel her blood pressure rising and making her dizzy. The silence was deafening. "Talk to me.." her voice was soft, possibly even inaudible, but she was begging. Then she heard it. A whimper that broke her heart and made her eyes pool over. "Paige please don't cry." She begged. "What's wrong?"
"Everything is wrong." Paige snapped weakly. "And...hearing you cry last night just proves how fucked up this all is...but when I heard you laugh again...I just wanted to be holding you and I can't." Paige's voice cracked, releasing more tears. She could hear the pain in her voice, the struggle. "I'm sorry I'm hurting you. It's the last thing I want to do. And I'll understand if you..."
"Paige stop." She said firmly, pushing back her own despair. "Don't say that, okay? Do even think it." She didn't know what she could say. Of course Paige was hurting as much as she was. Of course she missed her. But she couldn't let herself focus on that because it hurt too much. She had to force herself to tune out her cries because it was the only way to keep herself from screaming and falling to the floor. She had done enough of that in the last three days and had tired her body of it. She needed to take care of Paige. There couldn't be an option two. She had to be the strong one now and do everything she could to protect her. So she took a chance.
"Remember when... you wore that extremely sexy suit to the masquerade?" She changed the subject, albeit poorly, but she tried. Hoping for success because the alternative would surely break through her resolve. She held her breath, waiting for the fallout that she feared.
But Paige laughed lightly, letting her exhale in relief.
"Yes..I do." Paige chuckled, breaking quickly through her tears, clearly grateful. Emily laughed softly with her, steering her carefully away from the sadness that affected them both. Her determination returning tenfold.
"So what are you doing today?" She asked lightly. Paige sighed heavily.
"I don't know, I have to do some bonding thing with my dad later." Her voice less than enthusiastic. A knock sounded at the door, pulling Emily's attention away and making her heart race.
"That's a good thing." Emily assured half-heartily. Paige just scoffed. "Hey, I gotta go can I call you later?" She added.
"Um yeah no problem." Paige replied. She could hear the disappointment in her voice but she made herself ignore it. She had more pressing things at the moment.
"I love you Paige." She whispered.
"I love you too."
She hung up the phone quickly and walked to front door, pushing everything else from her mind. Hanna and Caleb waited, leaning against the railing of the porch.
"You ready?" Hanna chimed. A huge grin on her face. Emily nodded pushing her phone towards Caleb.
"See what you can do." She said flatly. Caleb clicked it on and after a few seconds he smirked proudly.
"Well seeing as there's a tracking app on your phone...I'd say finding her won't be too difficult." Emily just nodded impatiently. She could deal with her mom later.
"Well then let's go." She said walking past them to Hanna's car and climbing into the passenger seat. They followed quickly, Caleb sliding into the back and stretching his body out comfortably, mumbling something about his job being too easy. Hanna cranked on her angry chick music as she backed out of the driveway, bobbing her head along to the beat and singing the wrong words entirely.
She settled her head against the cold glass of the window, letting her eyes fall easily closed despite the blaring of 'So What' through the speakers. It took everything in her not to slap that song off.
She set the phone down, staring at it in confusion. The abrupt end to the conversation was awkward and quite frankly worrisome. Her breathing became ragged at the possibility of Emily not wanting to talk to her. Was she angry with her? She had every right to be, all things considered. Suddenly she felt even more alone and scared that Emily really might give up on her. She felt the lingering emptiness tug at her heart and the hollow feeling in her lungs. Though she tried not to dwell on those feelings, they were still there. She couldn't focus on them because they would make her even more angry at this whole situation and she couldn't risk getting angry again. She had to change this and the only way to do that...was to get through this as unscathed as possible. She heard the hotel room door close loudly so she tucked the phone into her jeans and pulled on a sweater before walking out of the bedroom.
The sight she saw upon entering the living room was both comedic and pathetic. Her dad struggling to juggle three large shopping bags in his arms. A feat that would no doubt be easy for her mom to carry out flawlessly. This scenario on the other hand was a mixture of tripped legs and flailing arms. The laugh could not be silenced.
"What are you doing?" She laughed, taking a set back and denying him any help. This was far too entertaining without her clumsiness involved.
He chuckled beneath the bags, dropping them in a heap on the couch. "Well, we needed a few things for our activity." He beamed proudly at the bags, waiting for Paige to look as enthused as he was. She played along, inching closer. The mystery activity wasn't something she was really looking forward to but it was a step in the process of getting back to Emily and that made it necessary.
"So, what are we doing?" She asked curiously. He grinned wider, grabbing one large bag in particular and handing it to her excitedly.
Her nerves were a wreck at the possibilities. Any number of activities could make this bag feel so heavy in her arms. She forced herself not to look, reaching in with her hand and keeping her eyes on her dad in an uneasy way. Confusion multiplied when she felt hard leather beneath her fingertips. Warm and smooth. She gripped around the object and pulled it from the bag. At the moment her eyes made contact the realization sunk in. A small smile appearing on her lips as she stared at blue boxing glove in her hand.
"What do you think?" He smiled, trying to study her face for clues to how she was feeling.
"This is better than father daughter dancing." She admitted, nodding her head in approval.
"There's more." He stated, gesturing to the bag.
She set the glove on the couch, pulling out its twin and setting it down too. Reaching in again her fingers clasped around soft cotton. She pulled the fabric from the bag and as it unfolded before her eyes, her breathing stopped. Turning it over in her hands as her eyes stung and she choked on her emotions. She made herself stay in control. It was amazing, this shirt she held in her hands. The brightest of deep royal blues she had ever seen, and the most beautiful. A small white anchor stood out starkly on the bottom left corner with 'McCullers' in white letters across the back. She looked at her dad smiling back at her.
"This is great." She admitted. She tried to hide how emotionally touched she was and thankfully her dad pretended he didn't notice. He reached into another bag pulling out a larger matching tee-shirt.
"I have one too. And I got one for your mom but I'm doubting she'll wear it." He laughed. Paige nodded weakly trying to stay together. The level at which her dad was trying to fix things, was superior when compared to her own half-hearted attempts. That wasn't fair of her.
She dropped the shirt to the couch and did the only thing she felt like doing at the moment. She hugged him. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. He seemed startled for a second but he recovered quickly, closing his arms around her waist and resting his chin against the top of her head. She didn't expect his strong arms to make her feel as safe as they did. He moved his hand to her hair and held her tighter. A tear slid down her face, angry that they had ended up so strained and far apart. The second she shifted to wipe the tear he released her completely, instinctively thinking that she was done with the contact. She stepped back and turned to the bags on the couch, shaking her head as she tried to clear it.
"So, why boxing?" She asked curiously. He shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know. I guess I fingered that you'd benefit from kicking my ass." He laughed. She laughed too, nodding in agreement.
"Game on McCullers." She said, slapping him on the back and grabbing her bag to go change out of her jeans and sweater. His smiled in relief, and in that moment she could see just how much he was relying on this time together...and just how much it meant to him.
She closed the bedroom door quietly behind her, leaning heavily against it and wiped the tears that had begun falling the second she had turned her back to her dad. Her breathing slow and deliberate. She moved forward, dumping the bags contents on the bed. A pair of white cotton stretch shorts with royal blue trim, wrapping tape, the gloves and the tee-shirt. She pulled her sweater and jeans off, reaching into her suitcase and replacing her regular bra with a sports bra. Then she slid on the white shorts, and the royal blue shirt. It hugged tightly to her skin. Both articles of clothing form-fitting and perfect for any type of workout.
She stared at herself in the mirror above the dresser. Her hair a mess of tangles over her shoulders. Slowly she inched her fingers up, automatically beginning a small braid in the strands, then another, before pulling it all back into a messy bun. She thought of Emily, only for a moment because any longer and she would surely fall to pieces. Then she grabbed the tape and gloves off the bed and went out to meet her dad in the kitchen. Her jaw dropping as she saw her mom standing before her in a matching McCullers shirt.
"Wow, looking good." She teased. Her moms eyes beamed proudly. Paige grabbed a glass of juice that waited for her on the counter.
"I'm just going to watch." She clarified. "Moral support only." Her dad entered the kitchen wearing his shirt. A large smile on his face and something missing from his hands.
"Um dad? Where are your gloves." She asked. He just smiled wider.
"Who said I bought gloves?" He winked. Paige spit her juice back into her glass, swallowing hard and shaking her head in disbelief. Her lips parted to protest but without words she just looked like a fish struggling to breathe. Her mom grinned, patting him on the back reassuringly.
"You're going to need more body armour than that tee-shirt." She laughed, walking out of the room.
She looked at her dad incredulously, dumping her juice in the sink and crossing her arms over her chest.
"What?" He asked innocently, chuckling under his breath. "I'll use focus pads." He conceded retreating out of the room after her mom. Her eyes were wide in shock as she stared after him. This was going to be interesting.
The phone rang in her hand, forcing her eyes to open. She looked around quickly. Hanna wasn't bouncing to the music anymore. Instead she sang wildly off key to a sappy love ballad. Caleb lay asleep in the back seat but he stirred awake as the phone rang again. The clock read after 5pm. They had been driving a little over an hour and a half so they should almost be there. She glanced at the phone in her hand. An incoming call from 'home' flashing across the screen. She answered it quickly. Speaking before her mom could.
"Mom, I left you a note." She stated.
"Oh, I know...I know you did!" Her mom's voice was sarcastic and edging panic. "You told me not to worry and you signed it with the nickname that you hate...so of course I'm worried." She sounded slightly crazed. "What are you doing?!"
"Mom, you know what I'm doing." She said flatly.
"Well, your car is here, so you're either walking or you've enlisted help." She insinuated.
"Hanna and Caleb." She clarified, mumbling under her breath. She heard her mom sigh heavily.
"Of course its Hanna." She wasn't in the least bit surprised. A moment of silence passed before she spoke again, her voice softer and more relaxed. "How are you going to find her Emily? Do you even know where she is?"
"Well..." She started. "Apparently there's a tracking app on my phone so I'm guessing it won't be hard. Know anything about that?" she quipped. More silence.
"We'll talk when you're home. Tell Caleb and Hanna I said hi." There was emphasis on the 'Caleb', probably because she knew about his tech savy ways. She hung up the phone without another word, shifting in her seat to face Hanna.
"How much further?" She asked. Hanna beamed at her excitedly.
"I'd say about 15 minutes."
Emily nodded, handing her phone over the seat to Caleb. He grabbed it quickly, clicking it on and going to work. A minute or so passed before he spoke.
"Got her!"
"Come on McCullers, hit me!" Her dad urged. Chuckling at her weak attempt at jabbing. He dropped the focus pads to the floor. "If you're not going to hit me, I'm not using pads."
She clenched her fist inside her gloves, smiling at the amusement on his face. This was surprisingly fun, even if she was only using a small percentage of her strength. It was light and easy, just standing here messing around. Her mom sat perched on a bleachers against the wall, laughing every time she landed a hit and made her dad stumble. She stopped though, as soon as the focus pads hit the floor. She stepped back.
"Let's go Paige." He said, using his fingers to gesture her to continue. She shook her head firmly.
"I'm not hitting you." She stated.
"Come on!" He pressed. She shook her head again. There was no way she was hitting him. He was completely unprotected. No pads, no gloves. Nothing but the tee-shirt and cotton to protect his body. No way in hell. His shoulders sunk at her hesitation. He smiled softly at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and turning to her mom on the bleachers.
"She's a softy!" He said jokingly. Her mom nodded enthusiastically. She felt her cheeks flush uncomfortably, bringing her glove up to slug her dad in the stomach. He coughed as the air was forced from his lungs, leaning forward and resting his hands on his knees.
"That's more like it." He choked, laughing at the sudden change in his daughter's attitude. "Are you ready now?" He joked, stepping back and waiting for her to take another shot. She blew a stray strand of hair from her face, tapping her gloves together and smiling at him proudly.
"This is going to hurt me a lot more than it'll hurt you." She teased, bringing her gloves up to her chin. He laughed.
"Somehow I doubt that." Her mom "whooped" and clapped excitedly from her seat.
The sound of a gym door opening distracted her suddenly, her dad staring intently over her shoulder with his guard down. She turned slowly to see what he was looking at, immediately dropping her gloves to her side.
Everything started moving in slow motion in that moment. She had seen it happen before in movies but this was far from a movie. The air buzzed around her ears as her eyes landed on Emily. Her breath slipping slowly from her lips. The way Emily's hair fell in thin wisps around her face as she moved.
Something about her movement was wrong. Emily was the most graceful being in the world but now? Her movements were harsh and angry. Her fists clenched tightly at her side. Emily wasn't even looking at her, instead her eyes burned heavily into her dad standing behind her. Suddenly Paige's mind was forced back to the day she had left. Emily raising her fist in the driveway. Emily ready to pounce.
Her heartbeat quicken at the realization of what was about to happen, and just like before...she couldn't allow it to. She couldn't let Emily be hurt by her. She couldn't let her family think any less of her. She couldn't let Emily turn into someone that she wasn't. She just couldn't.
Everything picked up speed the moment that decision was made in her mind. She turned to look at her dad in concern. His eyes weren't angry or fearful. He was sad and accepting. Like he knew what was coming and we was completely okay with. Like he deserved it, and maybe he did. But Paige wasn't okay with it, and Emily was moving closer.
The clock sped, giving movement back to her body as she turned to face her dad, an apologetic look in her eyes as they met his. Her body blocking him from Emily's approach. She clenched her fist inside of her glove, raising it into the air and releasing a full forced blow. Her glove made hard contact with his jaw sending him stumbling back and nearly knocking him to the ground. The sound of the footsteps behind her coming to an abrupt halt.
"Oh, shit!" She breathed.
The Story lyrics
Songwriters:Phillip John Hanseroth
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you
I climbed across the mountaintops
Travel across the ocean blue
I cross over lines and I broke all the rules
And baby I broke them all for you
Oh because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do, I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
All of the friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know I'm in this mess
No they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through
Like you do, and I was made for you
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
Oh but these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you
Oh yeah, and it's true that I was made for you