Prompt from an anon for the 'Texts from Last Night' Fic Meme over at tumblr. This is pretty ridiculous, but I suppose it's sort of funny.

(801): You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"

Young Do ponders the meaning of life as he downs another glass of whiskey, glaring intensely out of the window of his penthouse. What was the purpose of all those beings still wandering around so late at night? What was his purpose? His fate? Would he attain all that he had dreamed of? Would he plunder? Would he-

"You're so drunk," Myung Soo remarks, rolling his eyes. "You're not even thinking straight, even though your pose is worthy of Rodin."

"I want Eun Sang," Young Do mumbles, rubbing a hand over his face. He won't admit it, but his tolerance for alcohol is shockingly low. While Young Do can certainly enjoy a good drink on an occasion, binge-drinking the way Myung Soo does is simply out his spectrum of capabilities. It's a fact Myung Soo holds over his head very proudly.

"How surprising," the slightly-more-sober man snorts, kicking his feet up into Young Do's lap. Had he been less incapacitated, Young Do might have murdered Myung Soo by now. "Am I not satisfying enough for you, Oppa?" Myung Soo whines, pitching his voice up an octave. He runs a finger down the length of Young Do's arm, quickly stealing the empty glass he's holding and laying it aside before Young Do can protest. Myung Soo admittedly knows his limits better than he does.

Young Do stares at the now empty space between his fingers, trying to work out what just happened. Something's missing, he realizes, but he can't quite figure out what it is.

Myung Soo snickers, "So lost with your woman to lead you around, I see."

"I am lost," Young Do mutters, flexing his fingers. Myung Soo is rendered momentarily speechless by the amount of honesty. Young Do looks back up at him with a startlingly amount of sincerity in his gaze. "I want her here."

"Call her," Myung Soo tells him, standing up to put on his coat. With the way Young Do's mood is turning out, it's better to leave sooner than later. "Tell her to come over."

"I can't," Young Do rasps. Myung Soo gives him an incredulous look.

"What do you mean?" He asks, curious. Young Do responds by letting out a painful laugh, a sound that almost frightens Myung Soo.

"I'll devour her if she comes," he explains, smirking to himself.

Myung Soo pulls a face, "So insatiable and unpleasant. Just tell her you want her like that, fool. I promise she'll come running."

"How?" Young Do wonders aloud, for once in his life sounding unsure.

Myung Soo shrugs, "Tell her she's your knight and shining armor and she has to slay your dragon." He means for it to be a joke, but Young Do nods approvingly, his expression so serious Myung Soo almost loses his composure.

"Okay," Young Do says, pulling out his phone. "I'm going to tell her that." Now, Myung Soo really does laugh.

"Good luck with that," he guffaws, opening the door to exit the apartment. "I'll come check on you in the morning," he promises as he makes his way out.

Myung Soo enters the apartment the next day and finds Eun Sang sitting at the island in the kitchen, clad only in one of Young Do's T-shirts.

"Oh no," Myung Soo moans dramatically, plopping down in the seat across from her. "Don't tell me those terrible lines worked." Eun Sang glares at him.

"'Slay the dragon'? Really?" she snorts, clearly unimpressed. "That has the be the worst line I've ever been offered for sex."

"I honestly didn't think he'd take me seriously," Myung Soo swears. When Eun Sang doesn't accuse him of more debaucharies, he cocks a brow at her. "But did they work?" he questions, unsure of whether or not the answer was worth hearing. Eun Sang flushes guiltily, making Myung Soo even more concerned.

"It would have," she admits quietly, her gaze locked on the countertop. "If he hadn't been asleep by the time I got there."

"That sucks," Myung Soo sympathizes, patting her shoulder comfortingly. She shrugs off his hand, annoyed.

"He woke up around 2 AM to vomit."

"And?" Myung Soo prompts.

"He vomited on me," Eun Sang shudders, hugging herself tightly.

"Okay, that really sucks."

"I know," Eun Sang agrees, just as Young Do stumbles into the kitchen. Eun Sang quickly stands to lead him to an empty stool while Myung Soo carefully takes in his friend's appearance.

"'So," Myung Soo begins, drawing out the word until he has Young Do's undivided attention. He waits for Eun Sang to disappear into the bedroom before continuing, "How's that dragon of yours?" Through a hung-over stupor, Young Do gives him a tight-lipped smile.

"Alive and well," he responds, acid dripping from his voice.

"Before you kill me," Myung Soo warns, raising his hands in surrender, "I come with a peace offering."

"Oh?" Young Do lifts a perfect brow at him, intrigued.

"Yes," Myung Soo swallows, feeling like the prey of a wolf. Gingerly, he fishes out a box from the plastic bag he brought, then tosses it to Yoing Do.

"Myung Soo," Young Do growls as he reads the label. "This is-"

"-Protection," Myung Soo finishes, doing his best to smile. "For the black knight." He quickly gets to his feet and eyes the door conspicuously. Young Do stands as well, looking more amused at this point than upset. "You messed up last night, and the only way to atone for that is..."

"Is?" Young Do urges, suddenly no longer entertained by his friend's antics. His anger was understandable considering Myung Soo had no right to encroach upon his friend's sex life. Myung Soo takes a deep breath, knowing he had only one more chance to either placate or completely enrage Young Do.

Obviously, Myung Soo chooses to tick him off.

"Go slag the dragon?" he suggests, then sprints out the door.

He considers himself lucky when there's no pursuit.

From: Oppa

To: Myung Soo

Slayed the dragon. Three times, to be precise.

From: New Money

To: Myung Soo

(Bo No voice) Oh my god. Get a better name for it, idiots.

Myung Soo won't necessarily admit that he's the fairy godmother of Young Do's sex life, but frankly he's the fairy godmother of Young Do's sex life.