Author Notes: I had the *most* relaxing weekend. If you're ever extremely stressed out and can afford a spa weekend, I definitely recommend it. Massage, facial, relaxation, it was all so amazing. I'm more relaxed right now than I have been in a long time, ahead of my week off work. So, onward with the story...
The hospital room filled with medical personnel. Maura sat on the chair beside the bed; Amy's fingers wrapped around her hand like a baby latching onto its parent. A nurse at her other side. The actual baby was tucked up in a crib beside them; a second nurse fawned over him, checking his temperature. His tiny arms and legs pushed against the swaddling.
"He seems healthy," Maura whispered, forging a smile as she stared into Amy's terrified eyes.
"I shouldn't have lied. Ouch!" The other nurse at her side stared at her until she kept her arm steady, long enough to finish inputting the cannula.
Maura pressed her lips together. "No. You should not. Are you going to tell me what really happened?"
"I…" Amy opened her mouth but no further words came out. The nurse at her side hooked up an IV bag and She stared in awe as the nurse carried the baby over to her, resting him into her arms before either of them could protest. "He's so beautiful."
"He is." Maura stood at her side. She rested a hand on her shoulder, her other fingers danced across the baby's cheek.
The child who could possibly be her son. Her child. Her flesh and blood. Her heart swelled in a way she didn't know was possible. Expectation sending her body into a state of excitement, joy, and most of all, overwhelming love.
"Do you want to hold him?" Amy asked, lifting him up towards her.
She hesitated, but scooped him up anyway. She stared into his big, wide eyes, so full of life. Yet knowing so little about the state of the world around them. Maura stroked the back of his tiny hand that poked out of the top of the blanket. A tiny crease formed between her eyebrows.
Amy's voice startled her out of her reverie. "He's perfect, isn't it?"
"Yes." Maura reached forward to lower the child back into her arms, but Amy shook her head. "He's perfect."
Both nurses left the room. Amy leaned her head back, her eyes trailed up to the IV bag beside the bed. "Do you know why I have that?"
"If they think there's a risk of haemorrhage they may insert a drip. I imagine they'll be monitoring you closely."
"Oh."
"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."
The baby yawned, his eyes closed for a moment, then opened again, less than before. His lips pressed together. Maura swallowed a lump that settled in the back of her throat. She smiled. He was a beautiful boy, his chubby red cheeks and mess of dark hair were enough to make anyone coo at the sight of him.
"What's happening?" Jane asked, slipping her head around the doorframe. "Can I come in?"
"Please," Amy said, motioning for Jane to enter the room. "You and Maura are going to make fantastic parents."
Maura cleared her throat and carried the baby around the bed toward the crib. Jane followed, wrapping her hands around her arm. "Can I hold him?"
"I…" Maura nodded and reached towards her outstretched arms.
Jane let the boy settle into her arms before she carried him over to the vacant chair, where she perched, steadying herself long enough for the baby to settle sleepily in her arms. She stroked her fingers across his chin and across his balled up fist. "It's easy to forget how tiny newborn babies are."
"It is," Maura said, heading towards the door. She stared out of the small window into the corridor. A nurse hovered by another door, a patient walked along with her buttocks hanging out of the back of her gown. A man carried a large, pink balloon in one hand, and moved a walking stick forward with the other. She let out a soft sigh.
"Does he have a name?" Jane asked.
"Not yet," Maura said, at the exact moment Amy piped up.
"Jake."
Jane stared at Amy, her face twisted up. "Wait, shouldn't it be up to Maura?"
"Oh." Amy shrugged. "Yeah. I guess."
A long silence followed. Jane's attention returned to the baby, who slept peacefully in her arms. Maura turned to watch them, every dream she ever had of sharing a child with Jane was represented in that moment. She wanted to photograph it. To capture it for the future, to remember the preciousness of those seconds.
"We should go." Maura reached out to the baby. "You and Jake need some sleep."
Jane hugged the boy a little tighter in her arms. "You're gonna let her name him?"
"It's fine." Maura held her hands out again, and Jane handed him over. "We should go home."
"You don't need to," Amy said. "We need you."
"You've been through a traumatic birth, perhaps not as traumatic as some, but a difficult experience nonetheless. You and the baby need some time to recuperate before we return."
Amy's eyes danced back and forth between Maura, Jane and the baby, the line between her eyes deepened. "You can't."
"We'll be back tomorrow."
"That's too long." Amy tried to sit up, but her cannula tugged, causing her eyes to scrunch up. "Please."
"You won't even notice we've gone," Maura said, forging a smile. She lowered the child into the crib and tucked his blanket tightly around him. She ran a finger across his cheek. "Come on, Jane. We all need some rest."
x
Jane didn't say a word on the drive home. She didn't know what to say, or how to say it. The tension was almost painful. She kept glancing over at Maura, cautiously optimistic that the crease between her brows was something of nothing.
When they entered the bedroom and stripped off their clothes, Jane didn't speak, just tossed her bra into the washing basket and hoped Maura would be willing to say something eventually.
In bed, the silence had become untenable and Jane let out a long, loud sigh.
"What's wrong?" Maura asked, glancing over at her.
"Nothing." Jane frowned. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing." Maura said, though the shake of her voice betrayed her composure.
"Don't pretend," Jane said, sliding down under the bedsheets. Maura climbed in beside her and they lay side by side, the darkness surrounded them as Maura shut off the light. She tucked her fingers around Maura's hand and leaned her head against her shoulder. "Talk to me."
She didn't say anything at first. Jane closed her eyes, begging Maura to say something, no matter how small.
"It's been a long day. Overwhelming."
"That's it?" Jane kissed her cheek. "Are you sure?"
Maura turned her head, capturing Jane's lips with her own. She stared deep into her eyes. "Make love to me."
"Now?" Jane shook her head. "You wanted to rest. It's late."
"Please."
Desperation in her voice broke Jane's heart. Something wasn't right, but Maura wasn't willing to share it. She tried to protest, but Maura pressed her lips to hers again and she didn't know what else to do. It hurt knowing that something wasn't right, that Maura wasn't as gleefully happy as Jane expected her to be. The child was their dream, whether they'd discussed it properly or not.
"Don't push me away," Jane whispered, climbing on top of her. She captured her lips, her hands trailed across fabric, pushing material to one side.
Maura trailed kisses along her collarbone. She tugged her tshirt off her body and nibbled on her earlobe. "I love you."
"I love you," Jane said, about to say something more when Maura's fingers slipped expertly into her shorts. She gasped, her heart race sped along with the speed of Maura's actions.
She kept her mouth shut and gave in to the feelings that surrounded them. Despite the tension, the elephant in the room, they danced together through the night, until they were both too exhausted to do anything more. Maura drifted off to sleep first. Jane untangled herself from Maura's body, trying not to feel disappointment that she wasn't able to reach a repeated high. She pressed her lips to the side of Maura's head as gentle sleepy breaths escaped her lips, and stroked her hair back from her face.
It was already three in the morning. Jane lay on her back, the bedsheets pushed away, heat burning between her legs. She teased her skin, imagining the things that Maura would have done to her if she hadn't fallen asleep, until she felt herself topple over the edge once more, and she could drift off.
x
By five, Maura was wide awake. Her body and heart ached. She watched Jane sleep for a moment, before climbing out of the bed. She picked her clothes out for the day, and placed them in a day bag. She left the house shortly after, her hair was tussled at the sides, her body was still coated in sweat and bodily fluids. She hoped it was early enough to sneak into her office and use the office shower before anyone else could catch her looking like a sex obsessed insomniac.
Once she'd showered and dressed, she walked down the street to the bakery that opened early and picked up a croissant and a cup of hot coffee. It was going to be a long day and she needed some sustenance.
x
The alarm screamed out for Jane to wake up. She rolled over, her heart raced as she rushed to shut up her cellphone. When she picked it up, she remembered she hadn't even set the alarm, and Frankie pulling a silly face with Eli filled her screen.
"What?" she asked, leaning back down on the bed, the back of her hand against her forehead.
"Good morning to you too," he said. "Got some news for you."
Jane sat upright. "Is the baby okay? Amy didn't do something stupid, did she?"
A silence drew on longer than Jane felt comfortable with. "Who the hell is Amy?"
"Kiera."
"What?"
Jane grunted. "Frankie, tell me what the fuck happened."
"John Doe woke up."
"David? Oh." Jane jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. She headed towards the door, then thought better of it. "I need to shower, meet you at the hospital?"
x
The office door slammed shut, startling Maura. She sat upright, her eyes landed on Jane, who stared at her. She didn't speak. She didn't have anything to say.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Jane asked, waving her hands up at her sides.
"Working," Maura said, though she thought it was pretty obvious. She had a job. "Just because Amy had the baby, doesn't mean people aren't still being murdered across the city."
Jane stared at her. "Funny that, Frankie's not had a call about a body in the last twenty-four hours."
"Frankie isn't the only homicide detective in Boston."
"Bullshit." Jane walked toward the desk. She rested her hands on the edge and leaned forward, staring deep into Maura's eyes. "What are you doing?"
"I've told you. Working."
"David is awake."
"Oh. Are you going to go and see him?"
"I was, but then I decided I should find you first. I didn't expect to find you sat behind your desk doing paperwork."
"With everything that happened with Amy, I'm behind." Maura clicked save on the computer file she'd been working on. "I don't have time to go to the hospital today."
"You don't have time to see David and find out why Amy nearly killed him, or, you don't have time to go to the hospital, period?"
Maura placed a pen back into her desk tidy and stood up. "I don't have time to go to the hospital, period."
The look of derision in Jane's eyes was enough to anger her. She was exhausted. Too much had happened in such a short space of time, and she simply hadn't had enough sleep. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't form. When Jane's eyes softened, she felt tears prick at her eyelids.
"Oh Maura," Jane whispered, her arms outstretched. Maura stepped into them. "What's going on?"
"He's not mine," Maura muttered, so quiet that it was barely audible.
"What do you mean?"
Maura sighed. "The baby. Jake. When I held him last night, I just knew. Roger provided enough photographic evidence, and I know my own blood line well enough to know that Jake is not our son."
"You can't know that for sure," Jane said, shaking her head. "He's too little."
"I do, Jane." She swiped the back of her hand across her eyelids. "He looks so much like Harriet, like Amy, there's no way he's my child."
Author Note: I'm sorry. Sometimes these things need to happen.