a/n: as promised, here is a new update! I also wanted to say thank you for all the reviews just from my little update. It means so much that so many people like the story, I will definitely keep working on it. I hope to have another update out by the end of the year but no promises on that, so for now, enjoy! Also, if you feeling kind and wanna get in the christmas spirit, you could so graciously "gift" me with a review, they mean so much and make my day!
It's a nice feeling knowing that Eric does actually care for me. I have a feeling that if anything were to further develop, he would still be the kind of person who hides his emotions from me. He just doesn't seem the type of person to talk about his feelings or anything close to him. I brush off that thought as Eric approaches from out of the bathroom, a black towel wrapped around the lower portion of his body and his wet hair flipped to the side, dripping down the side of his face. This is the Eric I like, the vulnerable one. I grin as he makes eye contact with me.
"As much as I would love to stay, I have training to get to." I say, quickly spinning around and leaving the room. I meant what I said, I would love to stay. Eric made it clear last night that me staying here is a serious matter for right now, no fooling around. To be honest, I'm not sure that fooling around is the best option for me right now. I apparently have a lot going on.
Four never explained why it was delayed which sparks curiosity in me. Speaking of him, he's been pretty MIA about the whole Jared thing. I get that he is higher up in power than I am but I feel like I should still be informed, I am his trainer after all. Four wouldn't even tell Tris about any of this so it must be worse than we all thought.
I can't really blame Four for not giving any information because I have been blowing basically everyone off lately. I arrive at training before the initiates, surprisingly. "What's the deal?" I ask Four as I approach him. He sighs and paces around for a little before answering. "I've been going crazy with this Jared stuff. Max has me looking into the whole situation, I've spent hours in the control room trying to piece things together and I feel like I'm not getting any further. I had to delay training this morning because Max wanted to meet to hear what I had figured out. He wasn't happen to hear that I haven't really discovered anything." Four hesitates. I can tell he's stressed, he looks worn out.
"Have you been sleeping?" I question, hands on my hips. The basic nurturing instinct coming through. He nods his head no, rubbing his eyes. I'm about to lecture him about it when initiates come in.
"Alright, Initiates! Today we are going to work more on fighting. Eric said that from what he has seen, you all are weak. This is your chance to prove to us that you belong. Written on the board are your matchups. Please meet your partner and head to a ring." I yell over the chatter of the initiates. Eric has been getting on us about the fights and how they aren't to his standards. Four and I both part ways and wander around, observing the fights.
Four and I don't have a chance to talk again during or after training, he has to get back to the control room and I need to get back to my apartment. On my way there, I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket.
"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I jokingly answer, taking out my keys as I speak into the phone.
"Go back to my place." Eric barks into the phone. How does he know where I am? I just want to see if there is more damage to my apartment, if I quickly go in and then leave, what could possibly happen?
"I am, I'm on my way now." I lie, knowing he wouldn't let me go in if he knew where I was.
I hear a sigh over the line. "Listen, cut the bullshit. I know you are outside your apartment. Turn that little ass of yours around and go back to my place." He scolds.
"You know, you are starting to sound like my dad." I say, hoping he understands it's a joke. I mean I kinda do mean it, with all the rules and stuff.
"Just turn around." He grunts and swiftly hangs up. I throw my head back, defeated, and turn around to make my way to Eric's.
I arrive but I'm not sure if I should knock or just walk in? If we are getting technical here, I guess I kinda "reside" here for now. Maybe he's not alone and I interrupt something? I decide to knock, and wait until the door opens. I see it crack open to reveal Eric leaning against the side.
"You don't have to knock." He states, stepping to the side to let me in. I laugh a little, setting my keys down on the side table as I enter. "I know, I just did." I explain, turning to face him. He rolls his eyes, moving towards the kitchen table which is covered in what looks like important paperwork.
"What's all the paperwork for?" I ask, taking a seat across from him at the table. Eric is hard to read, besides his typical callousness and cold side, there really isn't much he's willing to show. Now is not any different, he doesn't seem to hear me and instead shifts through the piles of paper. Stamped in the corner of each paper is red ink that says 'classified'. I know I shouldn't ask again but if it has anything to do with Harley, I think I have a right to know.
"Eric." I snap, getting his attention. He briefly looks up, a look I can't register in his eyes, then quickly looks back down. "What." He mutters. I snatch a piece of paper off the nearest pile. He glares at me for a second, and puts the piece that he is holding down.
"All this has to do with is Jared's death." Eric briefly states, rubbing his face. "I'm sure Four probably told you, but it wasn't an accident and I've been reading over these reports ever since they came out. Someone pushed him and my bet is it was Harley." Harley? Why would he want anything to do with an initiate?
"But why?" I ask, pushing myself back from the table a little bit. Is Harley after someone else? This whole situation is confusing, but why would he break into my apartment, I have no connection to Jared because being one of his initiation trainers.
"That's the thing, as of right now I'm not completely sure. Harley always has a reason for his actions. I do think that Harley did it as a distraction to catch us off guard, but I also thought that about Michael and it seems unlike him to go to that much work to distract us." He puzzled, staring me right in the eyes.
"Michael, like the guy who shot you? Do you think Harley sent Michael to kill you?" I question, meeting his eye contact. He laughs, and tosses his head back. Not really the ideal laughing situation. "Oh, Harley doesn't want to kill me… yet. That I know for sure." He sees the expression on my face change from confusion to disbelief. "If Harley wanted me dead, I'd be dead already. Although, I've always been stronger than Harley so who knows if he really would be a match for me." Eric answers. I notice Eric's muscles flex under his shirt, he really is strong but could he really handle Harley and his crew?
"Michael was a just another piece in his little game he's playing. Except he got a little trigger happy and decided to do more than just a little scare. After shooting me, he would've died regardless. Harley would've killed him. Can't end the game so soon for him. From what I've gathered, Harley's plan is to try to break me down mentally, before he tries to break me down physically. Keyword is try."
Thinking back to what Eric previously said, I am Eric's. 'Mine' as he once said. "So he's after me, the one thing you care about, to get at you, and once he has you right where he wants you, he's gonna kill you?" I ask, finally putting together the pieces. I mean, Eric may not really care about me that much, but there is obviously something there if he's going to all these lengths to keep me safe. Eric sighs, getting up from the table. "Except he's not going to succeed at either." He snorts. He meets me across the table, pulling me up out of my seat. Once up, he tucks a strand of hair behind my hair, then cups his hand around my chin, ever so slightly tipping it up. We both make eye contact and for a second I see a sense of desire in his eyes. He holds me there for a few more seconds, then drops his hand down to his side and stalks off.
"You know, for someone who apparently cares about me, you don't really show it."
"The day I do show it will most likely be the best day of your life." He yells from the bedroom. I shake my head to myself. "Oh yeah, and when will that be." I question, just enough sarcasm in my tone.
"When I think you can handle it." He states simply, then I hear the door close to what I'm assuming is the bathroom. I am corrected when I hear the shower turn on. I roll my eyes, thinking about what he said. Did he mean to sound so dirty about what he said or was he genuinely being serious that his love is literally too much to handle? The second doesn't really sound like Eric, so I decide to push the thought aside and cling on to the few, but genuine things he does say.
"I'm not sure what your plans are for this coming Tuesday, but I'm going to Four's surprise party." I say, pulling up my calendar on my phone. I figure I might as well let Eric know my plans, otherwise he'll find out some other way. Might as well make it easier on him. I hear him chuckle from the bedroom, and then he appears from the doorway, wearing his typical black t-shirt with black pants. I never really get tired of looking at him, he is built.
"What's so funny?" I mutter, laying my phone down on the counter.
"The fact that you think you're going to this party." There's no playful tone to his voice and I know he's being serious.
"Listen-" I start but am immediately interrupted. "No, you listen. Sure you wanna go out, have a good time. There are plenty of times I have wanted to go to the bar, let myself relax and take a little time away from you. One problem, you are vulnerable when you do that. Harley is counting on you to do that. Is some party really worth dying for? If so, maybe you aren't even worth protecting." He grumbles.
Not going to lie, the last part stung a little. No, I don't think a party is worth dying for but I miss my friends, I miss having freedom. "Eric, that's not what I was thinking." I begin. His glare slices through me and suddenly I'm nervous to carry on but I'm never going to prove myself to him if I never stand up for myself. "I miss my friends. It's Four's birthday and I want to be there to celebrate. I don't have the same freedom anymore and I know they are all getting suspicious. If I don't show up, not to mention I already told Tris I was going, then that's just going to make them even more concerned. Just let me go for an hour and I will come back and be a hermit for however much longer I need to be." I urged. He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, this is going to be tough to convince him.
"Sorry, but no." He states, no real sympathy or apology on the sorry.
"Is this because you hate Four? Times have changed Eric, why can't you move on?" I ask, regretting what I said as soon as it came out.
"Are you serious? Because I hate Four? Sure, I hate him. Right now, Four isn't my priority. You are. Why can't you see that this isn't over some petty bullshit, it's actually over the fact that I don't want any other guy laying a fucking hand on you! Harley is out to get you Lydia and I'm not about to let that happen!" He growls, trapping me against the wall.
"So what am I supposed to do, play prisoner for the rest of my life? From what you've told me, he isn't going to stop. I can't hide here my whole life! I have goals I want to accomplish that aren't going to happen by me just sitting here!" I practically yell in his face. I get he's trying to protect me, I really do. But I'm going to go insane if he keeps me locked up in here!
"Cute." He retorts, grabbing my chin again. "Don't touch me." I try to spit out but it's not very convincing. He grins a little before pulling my face towards his, planting his lips in mine. This kiss is filled with rage but it somehow feels so right. I kiss him back with an even amount of frustration and lust. He grabs my thighs and picks me up, to shortly set me on the kitchen counter. Our tongues dance with each other's as my hands frantically race up and down his back while his hands slide up under the seam of shirt and up by my ribs. I let a little moan out and I feel him grin against my mouth. He pulls back, removing his hands from under my shirt and fixes my hair that is now strewn out of place.
I take a second to catch my breath, waiting on him to say something. When he doesn't I decide to. "Why does this always happen when we're angry at each other. I can see his jaw clench as he stares at me with his wild eyes. "Your rage turns me on." He says, turning away to grab his jacket off the rack.
"So that's it? We aren't going to talk about it anymore?" He just slips his coat on and shrugs. He grabs the handle of the door, and twists it to open.
"You are such a tease." I yell just as he goes to pull the door closed. I hear him chuckle before the door closes and I am once again a prisoner of this apartment.